


The Fight To Be Alive

by EnchantedApril



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Torture (not graphic)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 94,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8278349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnchantedApril/pseuds/EnchantedApril
Summary: Kryptonians are all viewed as Fort Rozz criminals, with society accepting televised fights to the death as the new normal.  While Kara remained hidden away, she was safe, but now she has been in the hands of LordTech's Alpha Fighter program for almost two years.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Kara Zor-El Danvers had contemplated mortality at thirteen years of age, watching her planet explode in a reflection on the window of her escape pod. She had promised, in her heart, to continue living for her family and all the rest on Krypton who had perished. And then she had gone to sleep and been trapped in a timeless void for two decades.

If only Kal-El had kept his powers hidden. If only he had been satisfied to live his life as Clark Kent. If only he had never donned a cape and accepted the title of Superman. And if only he had put less faith and trust in the government when he was approached and asked to submit to some testing and studies to further the knowledge of alien life-forms.

But he had trusted. Trusted and been betrayed by the father of the woman he loved. General Lane had met aliens before Kal-El. He had met them in underground desert bunkers and seen them laid out on dissection tables, still alive. He had seen one attempt to escape and snap the neck of one of his jailers with one twist of its wrist. Those aliens had looked less human than Kal-El, but in General Lane's mind, they were all alike.

One of the last things Kal-El had done, as Superman, was retrieve his cousin from her pod and bring her to the Danvers' home. It was the last time they would see each other.

Kara had been unable to believe the news, only weeks later, that Superman had disappeared. El Mayara, she had repeated over and over in her head and told herself that her last remaining family would not abandon her. But it seemed that he had, and Kara closed herself off even more and pretended to be human even as she struggled not to slam doors off their hinges and break plates by cutting too hard.

Now Kara - because she remembered that was her name even if everyone referred to her by a number or the letter K - struggled to remember the face of her cousin. The faces of her adoptive family. The faces of her parents whom she had sworn to live for. She knew she was still breathing: heart beating, blood pumping, but she was no longer sure if it was the same as being alive.

There was a harsh rattling of the steel door and she scurried to the corner, curling herself onto a thin mattress, Kryptonite-laced bracelets crossed over her head as if that could protect her from whoever was outside of her cell. This time the door didn't open, just a slot in the middle, and a tray of food was pushed through along with the command to eat quickly.

It was an unnecessary command. She had been denied food so many times or had it snatched from her grasp, that she wolfed down any meal she was given without pausing to so much as breathe. That continued to hold true. Kara rushed to retrieve the styrofoam tray - nothing metal, that could be made into a weapon - and hardly noted the contents before starting to eat. It was almost always the same anyway. Breakfast meant sort of meat, a scoop of eggs or oatmeal and bread. They had learned that the Kryptonians didn't need the variety of vitamins that humans required. They only had to consume enough calories to keep their bodies from shutting down. And they knew exactly how much that was and rarely offered more. 

On training days the rations were doubled or tripled but by the times she was permitted to eat, Kara was so hungry that she never felt full or even satisfied.

Training days meant twelve hours in a room with dim lights and thin pads that smelled of sweat and vomit and blood. She was made to fight one opponent after another. The first month she had picked up techniques only as a matter of survival until inevitably she was beaten unconscious only to be woken by a splash of ice water over her body and a new opponent to fight. These days, when they dialed her bracelets down and let her have a tiny amount of her true strength, she could hold her own against most of the men they sent to fight her. It took two men, in the final hour of the day, to beat her until she didn't rise again.

They have forced her to beat prisoners who were in worse conditions than her. They have forced her to watch when those prisoners were then killed right there in the training room. When she cried, they brought in another weakened Kryptonian and made her do it again. Then they brought in human prisoners who had agreed to fight in exchange for reductions to their sentences. Some were stone-cold murderers and rapists, but some were not much more than teenagers, with crimes that surely did not deserve the punishment she was forced to inflict. 

She refused again and again when they brought her young people full of bravado in their stance but fear in their eyes. The prisoners were still summarily beaten or killed and then she was punished - tortured - until they threw her back in her cell only to start again the next day. It was two months before she finally killed one of the young prisoners. The young man begged her to do it and she did it quickly - much quicker than the guards would have - and she felt her soul die with his. She refused again the next day and the next until Maxwell Lord finally came around and saw her huddled in her cell and declared that her spirit was clearly broken and that part of her training was over.

"She won't be fighting any weaklings like that in the ring anyway," he said with careless callousness as he walked away.

A single serving meal meant that today would not be a training day, and there was some relief in that, but not much. Often, non-training days meant hours of testing or time spent in total isolation locked inside a sensory deprivation tank. At least they no longer interrogated her. She had stopped speaking altogether after eleven months and nothing they did to her could convince her to talk. They considered that a complete success.

The first two months had been nothing but horribly invasive tests and interrogation. They knew she hadn't been in Fort Rozz and they wanted to know who had sheltered her. They wanted to know why she'd rescued that plane. Kara had changed her name before moving to National City, and they didn't know that Alex was her sister. They would never learn that from her.

Alex. Kara tried to picture her face but it was fuzzy. She tried to form the name but it felt foreign in her mouth. Vicious fight training and isolation and torture had stolen her thoughts. They were largely reduced to fear of what would happen next and when her next meal would come. 

General Lane's Department of Extra-Normal Operations wrung all the information they could from the first Kryptonians they caught, and then handed all the rest over to two high-powered companies. Of course first they had let a few prisoners escape. The most violent offenders. Those rogue Kryptonians had created havoc in Metropolis, killing people and destroying property until the armed forces swooped in to subdue them with Kryptonite weapons. The move had assured that the public agreed when Kryptonians were declared hostile entities to be immediately jailed.

The Alpha fights had come later and The Cadmus and LordTech Corporations were the two main players but both of them had received their Kryptonian fighters from the government. They had been offered up as test subjects - for a hefty fee of course - with the DEO claiming to the public that the prisoners would be well-treated. After Cadmus and LordTech had run their tests and experiments on the first few prisoners, there had still been plenty of Kryptonians left, and more still running free. It had been easy to present the fights as voluntary acts that the aliens participated in because they were inherently violent. Before long they were as popular as baseball.

A few people objected. People who had known good Kryptonians. Had known Superman. But those people and their demonstrations were silenced until only fringe groups and a scattered few journalists still fought to have them stopped.

In her more lucid moments Kara wondered when they would enter her in her first televised fight. Then she wondered if her foster sister and mother would watch it. Her foster father had been killed during one of the first demonstrations against the fights. The Cadmus Corporation had insisted that it had been an accident. Kara had felt responsible, knowing that Jeremiah Danvers might not have been so invested in the treatment of aliens if he hadn't been sharing his home with one.

The cell door rattled again and Kara rushed to put her tray back on the shelf in the door before retreating to her mattress, and wrapping her arms around her knees. She rocked slightly, stealing some comfort from the action before whatever horrors were to come.

Harsh light bathed the cell as the door swung open with a loud clang that made Kara flinch despite how many times she'd heard it. Or perhaps because of how many times she'd heard it and what had always followed. A moment later and the light was partially blocked by the forms of two men who entered her cell. One was a guard who always treated Kara with casual roughness. The other man was Maxwell Lord and Kara felt her meal rising in her throat, her gut clenching and churning while her heart pounded. She tried to make herself even smaller as he walked towards her as if he was simply looking at an interesting experiment. And perhaps in his mind, he was.

"The doc said she could be moved down to the general population now," the guard said, voice deep and too loud in the small space.

Kara had heard the doctor say the same thing the last time she'd seen him. She'd been strapped down while a shard of Kryptonite was inserted deep into her womb and after a week of bleeding and pain that made her scream herself hoarse, she had been strapped down again. The Kryptonite had been removed, the doctor had made his pronouncement about her fitness for the general population, and in the dim recesses of her mind that still held her sanity, Kara had known that she would never have children.

Now Maxwell Lord crouched on one knee on the cold concrete and reached out to touch Kara's face. She knew better than to flinch away.

"No, I don't think so," Lord said as he shook his head in some secret amusement. "This one was never in Fort Rozz. This one is special. I've been waiting for her to complete her training. I have the perfect opponent for her and I didn't want her damaged beforehand."

The two men left soon afterward and Kara held herself tighter and started rocking again, trying not to think about the future.

Her respite was short-lived and within the hour, her cell door was pushed open again and two female guards entered and hauled her to her feet. That meant she was being brought to the showers and she stood erect, as she had been trained, and kept her eyes on the ground as they led her through the cold, bright-lit hallways. The female guards weren't nice. They showed her no kindness. But they weren't as brutal as their male counterparts and Kara had no fear of being pushed or tripped or otherwise abused as she showered.

The soap was utilitarian and came from dispensers attached to the wall, but this time one of the guards handed her a bar of moisturizing soap and small bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Kara's curiosity had been largely purged, but the scent of the soap and the slick feeling of conditioner through her hair was soothing in a world that had never given her comfort without it being a trap. She finished her shower, wraped herself in the cotton robe one of the guards passed to her, and stepped out, eyes down, shoulders back. Ready.

They took her down another long hallway and then into a small, almost cozy room, with mirrors on one wall and a salon chair in the center. Now Kara was confused and confusion is frightening and she just wanted to run back to her cell, but the guards had tight hold of her arms and one of them dialed her bracelets back up again.

"This is the half-starved, half-beaten girl I'm supposed to turn into a model?" came a voice from the corner, and Kara chanced a look through her lashes and saw a short, middle-aged woman, dressed to the nines and perfectly made up.

She doesn't hear what the guards say, she just let herself be led to the chair and for the next hour, the woman brushed and styled her hair, and did her make-up to perfection. She even managed to fully cover the bruise at her temple that stubbornly refused to heal even when they turned her bracelets down.

"Well, I don't know exactly what Max has planned for this one, but you can't say she doesn't look like perfection," the woman said as she spun Kara around to face the guards who had remained by the door.

The two guards just muttered replies before commanding Kara to follow them.

Another room, another middle-aged woman, and Kara emerged dressed in a full spandex catsuit, all black save for stripes of blue down the sides and rings of red around her neck and wrists.

It was past lunchtime now, but in the next room, a beautifully plated meal is laid out, with more food than Kara could even remember. She wanted to rush to the table, but she knew it was likely a trick, and stood stock still, the tear in one eye quickly blinked away before she could be punished for it.

"Go ahead and eat," one of the guards told her, prodding her in the side as added motivation.

Trick or no, Kara cannot resist the urge to finally, finally, eat enough, and she devoured everything on the table in less than fifteen minutes. When she looked up from her last plate, Maxwell Lord was standing on the other side of the table, just staring at her. She blinked twice before focusing back on the table.

"No, no, go ahead and look at me," he said, almost jovial. "Today's a special day for you, after all."

He knew she wouldn't speak so he just continued as if she had asked him why.

"Well, your first fight, of course! And a very special one. Very private, no cameras this time, just some people who have paid a great amount of money to see how I turn an ordinary girl into a killing machine."

She flinched at that, but realized the truth in his words.

"Now, come along, come along," he said, motioning for her to stand. "Don't want to keep them waiting, now do we?"

The guards still flanked her as Lord walked ahead, leading down a hall Kara had never seen before. At the end was a door and he opened it with a flourish before ushering her inside. It was nearly pitch black, save for the glow of her bracelets, but even that dimmed as she felt them lowered until they were almost off. Strength surged through the young woman, and a year and a half ago, she would have bolted forward, punching through walls or ceilings to escape. But now she just stood, waiting for further instructions.

A few short minutes later and the lights in the room flickered on, illuminating the fighting ring and the rows of seats off to one side. Maxwell Lord introduced her merely as fighter K, and Kara took up a fighting stance. In some part of her mind she thought that this could be a kill or be killed situation and wondered if she really wanted to remain on Earth rather than succumbing and entering Rao's light. But her training and conditioning kicked in to push those thoughts away. Her eyes hardened as her fists tightened and she would not be losing today.

"For our other competitor, we have a bit of a wild-card," Max's voice echoed through speakers set high in the walls. "A human woman we've been training for almost the same amount of time as K. Some might say that isn't a fair fight, but I think you will be pleasantly surprised."

A spotlight shone on a door opposite from Kara and when it was opened, after a dramatic pause, a woman, dressed similarly to her, but wearing a sort of exoskeleton tinged a sickly kryptonite green, was pushed inside.

"Oh my God, Kara."

And Kara was suddenly staring into the eyes of her sister and realizing that only one of them would leave the room alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter because honestly, fights cannot go on that long...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Criticism, advice and comments are particularly welcome for this story as it delves beyond my normal comfort zone. Thanks!

The two women began circling each other, but it was almost instantly clear that neither one was prepared to make the first move. Maxwell Lord had anticipated that and the transmitters he'd had fitted into their ears crackled to life with the sound of his voice.

"Danvers sisters, together again," he said, and the cruelty-laced sarcasm oozed through his tone. "Yes, that's right. Kara Zor-El Danvers, I do know your real name."

That woman made no outward sign of acknowledgement, she simply continued to step carefully around the perimeter of the ring, never taking her eyes off of her dark-haired foster sister.

"And Alexandra, well I suppose you've known all along that your sister was here."

Alex couldn't contain the scoffing huff of air that pushed through her nose, even if she knew she would likely be punished for it later.

"Now these people have paid for a fight - to the death - and you two are going to give it to them. Do you know why?" he paused but of course there was no reply. "Because if you don't then you will both be very, very sorry. Alex, look at your sister. Look into her eyes. You've seen the videos of what we've done to turn her into this."

And Alex looked - stared - into blue eyes that had always held a soft look for her. But Kara was gone and she didn't know what this new version of her sister was capable of.

"If you refuse to fight, then what she has already gone through will look like nothing, and she will be begging for her alien god to just let her die."

Alex stepped, right leg crossing over left as she mirrored her sister's actions. If she hadn't already shed all her tears while watching the inhumane way Kara had been treated, then she might have had to blink them away now.

"K. Kara Zor-El. You can see that Alex still has fight left in her."

It was true. Perhaps Maxwell Lord had thought it would be more entertaining if one of his fighters still had her soul. Alex had undergone severe and punishing training at LordTech, but she had not been subjected to the same mental torture that had been most painful for the Kryptonian.

"If you don't fight her then I will break her. And I can see that you do know who she is. Some part of your mind still cares for her or you would have already attacked. But I am telling you that she will be completely insane by the time we finish with her and then we will kill her in front of your eyes anyway."

Kara blinked rapidly, her breath coming short and fast. Lord was right, and the good, loving, caring part of her mind was struggling to break free from her conditioning. She didn't want to hurt Alex. She didn't want to kill her any more than those young people who had been presented to her again and again. But she couldn't allow her sister to be changed. To be turned into - her.

"Now I am going to count to three, ladies, and then you will start this fight and you will not stop until only one of you is standing. And please consider that whoever dies will no doubt be the true winner here."

"One."

"Two."

Neither Alex nor Kara heard Lord's last word because they were already rushing towards each other, feet pounding on the floor, breaths harsh and loud in the otherwise silent arena.

Kara went immediately for an offensive attack, raising her arms to bring them down like hammers against Alex's collarbones. But Alex was prepared for that and she sank into a crouch and spun, her foot hooking Kara's left ankle and bringing the other woman slamming into the floor.

They rose in tandem only a heartbeat later, Kara's hands fisted at her sides, Alex's eyes searching, calculating, looking for any weakness. She knew that the Kryptonite in her suit would eventually weaken Kara, but not yet. Not much. She was still stronger than a human and Alex couldn't let her land a blow.

Alex launched herself forward, and Kara lunged, expecting a shoulder to her solar plexus. At the last moment, the dark-haired woman dropped to her knees and slid between Kara's legs, swiveling and rising as soon as she was through, and throwing herself at her sister's back, arms wrapping around strong shoulders, green light throbbing against the pale skin of Kara's neck.

It was enough to sap a bit of her strength, to bring her closer to Alex's level, but she quickly dropped to one knee and flung Alex over her shoulder, sending her pounding to the mat, air forced from her lungs.

There were only two thoughts in her mind. She had to win. She had to win. She couldn't let Alex be hurt anymore. She then closed off her thoughts and allowed her newly conditioned instinct to take over.

She stalked over to her sister and easily grabbed her arm as the other woman attempted to gain her footing. She used that arm as leverage, pulling the other woman against her chest and forcing Alex's own arm up and under her chin, cutting off her air, crushing her throat. Alex wheezed, feet scrabbling against the floor, barely touching as Kara lifted her up higher as she arched her back. Alex let her body relax and when Kara's stance loosened, she grabbed the back of her neck while forcing her own body down and into the ground. The move threw Kara off balance and she rolled to the side as Alex put space between them.

It was Alex's turn to attack. She was not going to let Maxwell Lord win. She was not going to allow her sister to be pushed into becoming a monster. She ran forward with a scream pouring from her lungs, and then pushed off the ground, leg kicking out to catch Kara in the chest. It threw the blonde backward and Alex pressed her advantage, sending blows to her face and then an almost crippling kick to her thigh.

But Alex was only human, and the Kryptonite had not done more than dull Kara's strength, while Alex's was rapidly failing. When Alex kicked out again, aiming for Kara's throat, Kara grabbed her ankle and twisted, sending Alex to the ground with an agonized scream as the tendons in her knee were wrenched and torn. Then Kara was on her knees above her, hauling her up, forearm around her neck, hand on the back of her head, fisted into dark hair, ready to snap her neck. Alex struggled and clawed at Kara's face but there was a look in the blue eyes staring down at her. A pained resignation that Alex recognized. She stopped clawing and instead wrapped her hand around the back of Kara's neck, forcing her to meet her eyes.

"Do it, Kara. Do it. I forgive you. Don't forget that. I forgive you, Kara Danvers," she gasped out, feeling the tears prick the backs of her eyes, trying not to let the pain show.

And Alex felt the impossible pressure against her neck and knew that she was dead, and wondered if she would hear the crack before she hit the ground, wondered if it would hurt.

But suddenly, that small, desperate bit of sanity in Kara's mind pushed forward, snapping the carefully constructed LordTech control, breaking free on a horrible, terrible scream that rattled the doors and had the viewers covering their ears. For months at the start of her training, she had been put in positions where using her powers would spare her sudden pain, but then using them would result in even greater punishment. They had repeated that treatment over and over again until she would do nothing without express permission.

But that scream. That unholy, tortured scream, broke the lock that had been placed in her mind and she opened her eyes wide, pure white light pouring from them, burning smoking red lines along the walls, the ceiling, the floor and sending the viewers diving for the exit of their prime seating area. Then, one after the other she snapped the bracelets that could dampen her powers, and hurled them away.

Maxwell Lord was shouting commands in her ear but she didn't even hear him. The roaring sound of her rushing blood drowned out all else as she used her x-ray vision on all the walls and then ran towards one, fist poised to punch through. She punched and grasped and tore through sheet-metal and drywall and brick until the evening light was visible and then she reared back and with one mighty kick, knocked out an exit.

She could hear again then, could hear guards shouting and Alex screaming for her to run, and Maxwell Lord still uttering commands and promises of torment into her ear. Kara looked back at her sister, collapsed on the floor and there was no way she was leaving her there. As guards slammed open the doors and poured into the room, Kara, in a motion that was only a blur of color, sped back, scooped Alex into her arms and was out and free before the guards could even take another step inside.

Alex was sobbing in her arms, telling her to leave her and pounding on her back and chest, but Kara just ran. She ran as fast as she could, even with the Kryptonite of Alex's suit sapping at her powers. She couldn't fly, but she could run, and so she ran. Ran deep into the night. Ran even as Alex passed out in her arms. Ran until Metropolis was far behind her. Ran until the lights of National City loomed ahead.

Kara slowed only slightly when she reached the outskirts of the city. She used her vision to get a better view of the city's layout and then she sped on, Alex seeming only a light weight in her arms now as she moved through dark streets and avoided the few cars on the road. She stopped in front of the National City Memorial Hospital and laid her sister down in the entryway before letting out another scream that she knew would bring help to Alex's side. She didn't wait to see the orderlies and nurses running through the sliding glass doors and kneeling beside the fallen woman at their feet.

Instead she ran again. Ran until she spied green and trees and the park that reminded her of Midvale and happiness and freedom. The park was completely deserted and Kara finally felt her injuries throbbing and her super-powers failing as she stumbled towards the area of thickest growth. There was a stone footbridge and a culvert and a drainage tunnel, now mostly dry in the heat of the summer. Into that small, dark space, Kara walked, with shoulders drooping and mind a whirl of instinct and the desire to survive. She needed quiet. She needed shelter. She needed to be away from people. And she fell asleep against the hard curve of the tunnel, her head resting on pebbled ground.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now we have Cat Grant entering the picture, and Kara beginning to realize that she may not be fit to live among people any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your comments and reviews! They keep me motivated to write more. :)

Chapter Three

Catherine Jane Grant took note of where she was in her life every single day. She was appreciative for her place in the world, but mindful of how much it had taken - physically, emotionally, mentally - to get there. She was also mindful of the effort it took to remain at the top of her career, and indeed gain even higher heights. The toll was great, but she was driven to meet and exceed the expectations of everyone around her, and most importantly, herself.

She had fought to rise from gossip columnist to serious reporter, and then to news anchor, television personality, author, and now, the head of her own world-wide media empire. Most people, at that point in their lives, and at the relatively young age of 49, would have taken a step back to enjoy all that they had worked to achieve. Most people were not Catherine Jane Grant.

Currently she was in the midst of a conference call and discussing the abject failure that was the east coast branch of her empire. Abject failure being a relative term, since the print and television media put out from that branch generally garnered the number one viewership and readership spots in the region, and had only recently slipped to number two. However, Cat Grant refused to accept less than the best when the best was clearly within reach.

As she paced her office while speaking to the head of the eastern office and his crew of underlings, she was mentally making a list of which were dead-weight which would have to be disposed of. She would contact legal and have severance packages drawn up for them, and moderately glowing references. She demanded perfection, but could still acknowledge the work that had been done in the past. It simply wasn't quite good enough any longer, if the numbers were to be believed.

If she was honest with herself, she knew that part of the reason for the eastern branch's sudden dip was her complete refusal to allow any of her people report favorably on the expansion of the Alpha Fights to the eastern seaboard. The other papers and news shows had daily stories about the winners and losers, complete with graphic photos and positive editorials. Cat would never allow that in any media that bore her name.

And since the National City branch had no trouble maintaining its number one spot even without such coverage, she saw no reason why the eastern branch couldn't do the same.

The call ended and she dropped to her chair with a roll of her eyes and a heavy sigh. Incompetence spoiled her appetite and it was almost lunchtime.

Almost lunchtime, and Kara Zor-El Danvers had still not woken from her deep, if troubled, sleep. The fight, followed by the long trek from Metropolis had sapped every last bit of her Kryptonian super powers, and now she was just a battered, half-starved human with a body struggling to heal itself.

It was after one in the afternoon before her eyes finally opened, the instant disorientation at her surroundings sending a panic signal through her body. She jolted upright and almost struck her head on the top of her little safe space. The sun shone brightly outside, though the tunnel was still cast in dark shadows, and she knew that her healing would be aided by exposure to sunlight. Yet her heart pounded even harder at the thought of leaving this new shelter, this self-made cage. Going out into the light - into freedom - was something she hadn't done in almost two years, and the idea that she was currently at liberty to do whatever she pleased was terrifying. Because in fact she wasn't free at all. She knew that if anyone saw her and realized that she was a trained Alpha, then she would be captured and sent back to LordTech. Even the thought of that made her stomach revolt and she barely managed to keep herself from vomiting.

At least she knew that Alex was safe. Taking humans who had not been imprisoned and volunteered for Alpha training was illegal, tantamount to kidnapping. Even if Maxwell Lord could somehow erase all proof that Alex had ever been there, he would not risk taking her again. Alex was safe, and even if she never saw her again, that was all that mattered.

Looking down at herself, the first thing she realized was that she needed something else to wear, to at least cover the top of her fight suit. The bottom half resembled leggings or jogging pants, but combined with to top, it made a suspicious picture even if most Alphas were less formally attired. There were also her scars to consider. The Kryptonite enhanced cuffs had been four inches wide and emblazoned with the LordTech trademark. That trademark was now burned into her skin. The Kryptonite had traced the path of the logo and the long term contact meant that even if her healing powers returned, it would take a long time for those scars to heal. Until then, she needed to hide them at all cost. Even standing there alone, and hidden, she self-consciously tugged on her sleeves until they reached to the middle of her hands.

Her stomach rumbled, and she wrapped one arm around her middle, but still made no move to leave the tunnel. It was just too risky. It was the middle of the day and there were too many people around. She would just have to wait until the middle of the night and then sneak out and try to find clothing and food. The idea of stealing those things was anathema to her, but she knew that was likely what it would come down to. She needed to be able to eat and go out into the sunlight so that she could continue to heal and then, when her powers returned, she would leave and go far, far away where Max Lord would never find her.

As the afternoon stretched on, however, Kara's objectives became much less clear. At LordTech, thinking had been discouraged by savage means. Emotion, courage, any spark of independence had been squashed. Trying to organize her thoughts now was difficult, but she kept coming back to the same horrible problem. She was an Alpha now. However much she had fought against it, she was now trained, conditioned, pressed into a mold, both mental and physical, that brought forth her most basic survival instincts and dampened any higher level emotions that might interfere with her ability to ruthlessly lash out at any perceived threat.

LordTech had made those threats easy to identify; they came in the form of other Alphas whom she was ordered to fight or kill or else face brutal punishment or even death. Out in the world though, those threats were harder to predict. She realized that she could be triggered to lash out and seriously injure someone who merely bumped into or frightened her. Without someone in her head, telling her exactly what to do, she was a danger to everyone she might encounter.

Sitting with her back against hard concrete, and her head bent to rest on raised knees, she tried to remember the person she had been. She remembered, at the beginning, fighting so hard to tell herself over and over again that she was a good person. That whatever else happened, she could be that person again. Now she wasn't so sure. With enough time, she hoped that was true, but it would have to be time spent away from society, and the thought of that much isolation was frightening. Her need to be helpful, to be useful, to be a good friend, and sister, and daughter, and employee, had been so integral to her personality that she wasn't sure she could regain herself without being able to fulfill those roles. She feared that she might at best return to some sort of partial version of the old Kara, one who had to forever live apart from those she loved or risk hurting them and losing what was left of her mind.

The sun began to set and Kara watched, cheek resting on her still-raised knees, seeing the tiny portion of visible sky go from pale blue to yellow to orange and then streaks of red and purple. She tried to remember when the sight of something like that would have stirred something in her heart and made fingers itch for a paintbrush. Now it just registered as molecules in the atmosphere, scattering the sun's rays and resulting in a range of colors. There was more pollution than magic involved. A tear rolled down and struck her knee, and she watched and waited for deep night when she could go out, get what she required and escape from humanity, as much for its sake as for her own.

Cat Grant had watched the same sunset, and had a similar thought despite the fact that her life, while challenging, had been ultimately quite blessed. Her lack of awe wasn't caused by trauma, it was brought on by a near-constant state of urgency. She didn't have time to admire sunsets when she was planning where to take CatCo Worldwide Media next. The sunset passed, while she sipped on a glass of bourbon and typed up hasty emails and wrote notes on magazine layouts. She had another conference call, this time with Japan, and then she had to make an appearance at a post-symphony cocktail party at a hotel she could see over the rim of her glass.

With a sigh, she put down her glass, gathered her things and retreated to the office. The sunset was over and her call was about to begin. She would never admit - and perhaps she didn't even realize - that despite her jaded view of it, the sunset was what had inspired her to work out on her balcony.

An hour later and the painted sky was a distant memory as Cat stalked around her desk and over to her current assistant who had just informed her that her car was not waiting for her. In fact the car service had neglected to mark down that she needed a nine o'clock pick-up (or else her assistant had neglected to inform them of that fact) and now it would be at least another half an hour before a car would arrive. Cat glared at Mark, whose name was actually Matt, and he could see his termination written in her eyes.

"I could call a taxi?" he suggested doubtfully.

"And sit in a hermetically sealed cesspool of infectious diseases for twenty minutes? I think not," Cat said with a look of revulsion. "But, never let it be said that Cat Grant was anything but self-reliant. I'll simply have to walk through the park. The hotel is just on the other side and I'll probably get there faster than if I did allow you to call a rolling germ-mobile."

"Um, but, Ms Grant, you shoes aren't really..." Matt started, and then trailed off as he saw Cat's eyes harden to stones as she glared at him.

"Are you seriously questioning my choice of footwear? I'll have you know that I was wearing stilettos when you were still in diapers and could probably run a marathon in these Prada heels. So you may leave now. Your presence is just causing more or a delay."

She waved her hand at him and he was quick to take the opportunity to scurry back to his desk. By the time Cat had walked through her office snatching up her phone, tablet and purse, Matt was long gone. She rolled her eyes while walking past his desk. He'd been working for her for nearly a month, which was considered long-term by HR nowadays, but she didn't expect him to last out the week.

The elevator ride down was smooth, and Cat checked her messages and called her son, Carter, to wish him a good night before she stepped off into the lobby. The security guard there gave a pleasant farewell, and she made a dismissive remark before exiting to the National City twilight. The east entrance to Memorial Park was just at the end of the block, and her quick strides brought her there with minimal effort. She was right when she said that she could probably beat a cab through the city, with traffic still tangled up despite the later hour.

Foot traffic through the park, however, was minimal and she was glad for that. As a relatively well-known personality in her city, she was used to a certain amount of public admiration in the form of autograph seekers or just people wanting to meet and greet. It was something she had a surprising amount of tolerance for, given her impatience in nearly every other area of her life, but at the moment she just wanted to get through the park, shake a few hands at the National City Hilton and then get home to her son.

It was her narrow forward focus that was perhaps responsible for a certain lack of attention to everything else around her. The park was generally considered a very safe place, even at night, and the bone-rattling shove, followed by the tug at her shoulder, came as a harsh shock. 

"Oh no you don't!" Cat shouted as she instinctively grabbed onto her handbag's long shoulder strap.

The action caused her would-be mugger to jerk to a stop while spinning back to face her.

"This is a five thousand dollar hand stitched Italian bag and you are not stealing it," she shouted angrily.

"Well, thanks for the info, lady, I'll keep it in mind," he said as he yanked on the bag, nearly wresting it from Cat's grasp.

But Cat Grant was, as she had earlier said, self-reliant. She had studied Krav Magra after being embedded during the Gulf War, and while she was rusty now, the greasy-haired miscreant wasn't expecting the strong kick she sent into his stomach. He doubled over, dropping the bag as he did so, and Cat ran like hell towards the park entrance, knowing better than to continue to engage.

The seam of her tight skirt had split when she'd kicked out at the mugger, and she was able to move fast down the concrete sidewalk. She had just passed the footbridge when she cursed aloud as her heel snapped off and sent her skidding onto her knees. In some dim part of her mind she cursed again at the idea that her incompetent assistant had been right about the shoes. She had no time for any more thoughts because her assailant was on her again, yanking her up by one arm tugging her close, fetid breath hot against her cheek and a knife now gripped in his free hand.

"All I wanted was the purse, lady, but if you want to dance, I'm always in the mood," he sneered, pulling her off the path and onto the grass.

He had just backhanded her and thrown her to the ground, when suddenly a blonde-haired fury was slamming into him, sending them both crashing to the ground, where she proceeded to punch him in the jaw. She hadn't made a sound and the man was shocked from the blow and the surprise, but he almost instantly regained his wits and brought one knee up into her stomach.

Kara gasped as the air was forced from her lungs, but her training didn't allow for reactions to pain. It didn't allow for self-preservation or mercy either, and she was about to start pounding his head into the hard ground in a way she knew would crack his skull. He must have seen something in her eyes, whether his death reflected back at him or the complete lack of emotion that turned her face into an expressionless mask. At the same time she yanked on his shoulders forward before the fatal downward blow, he jerked beneath her and his arm swung wildly, punching into her back and shoulder. It didn't save him completely, but the impact left him unconscious rather than dead, and Kara rolled off of him and smoothly went from crouching to standing.

Cat had watched the entire fight, which had lasted less than a minute, with her breath held and her hands pressed to her chest. Now she turned her eyes to her savior and opened her mouth to thank her.

Kara was staring at her as well, trying to place her face from some far distant memory, but then the insistent burning running through her back took over her thoughts. She reached back over her left shoulder and felt it then, the knife still stuck half-way into her shoulder blade, scraping against her scapula. She pulled it out, and then held it towards Cat as if confused about what she should do. With her vision dimming and her mind a swirl of memories. She fell to her knees and just before the world ceased to exist for her, she wondered if Rao would finally allow her to pass into his light.

Cat Grant was not the type of woman who screamed like some horror movie heroine, but if she had been, the sight of Kara's fist, wet with blood and stretched out to her with a knife clenched within, would certainly have triggered a deafening shriek. Instead, the second after Kara fell, Cat rushed forward, feeling for a pulse in the blonde's neck and then rolling her over so that she would be able to breathe better. If the position put some pressure on the wounds, then so much the better.

She felt up and down the girl's hips, searching for a phone, a wallet, something, but there weren't even pockets and then as Cat's eyes scanned for any identifying marks, she realized why. Kara's sleeves had risen up during the struggle, and Cat knew that scars like those came from only one thing.

Rising to her feet again, she ditched her remaining heel and ran towards the park entrance, pulling her phone out as she did so.

"Yes, yes, connect me to Yellow Cab," she snapped and then a few moments later, "I need a lift at the west entrance of Memorial Park. Two passengers."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Cat waited by the park entrance for an agonizing ten minutes before the cab pulled up to the curb.

"You called for a ride?" called the driver as he rolled down his window and leaned out.

"Yes, I did, but the other passenger, my - friend," she said, only partially stumbling over the word, "was injured by a mugger near the footbridge. You need to help me carry her here."

"What? C'mon, lady, I've got easier fares than this waiting. I don't need to go wandering through the park."

"Does this change your mind any?" Cat asked as she waved a hundred dollar bill in front of the man's face.

He put the car in park and quickly exited, giving an upward tug on his baggy jeans and pointing vaguely into the park.

"Yeah, that'll do it," he said. "Name's Phil. Wanna clue me in on yours?"

"Not particularly."

Phil let out an exasperated grunt before asking, "So where's this friend of yours?"

Cat rolled her eyes and let him down the path. When she got within sight of the fallen woman, she broke into a slow jog, surprised at the level of relief she felt at seeing her rescuer. She had half-feared that the woman would waken and bolt, despite her injuries and obvious exhaustion. Cat knew what happened to escaped Alphas. They were returned to their "owner" and from there Cat couldn't imagine the level of punishment that might be leveled against them. She looked Kara over, checking her pulse and breathing again and glad to see that they both appeared stable.

"She's with you?" the driver asked, incredulously, as he approached.

"As far as you're concerned, yes," Cat said tersely. "And that useless pile of flesh over there is the man who attacked us."

The driver muttered something under his breath, but knelt down to gather Kara into his arms while Cat hovered nearby, ready to tell him how he was doing it wrong.

"Hey, you didn't say nothing about her bleeding all over the upholstery."

Kara had just been gently deposited onto the back seat, and the driver was looking down at the dark stains that now marked one of his arms.

"I'll pay you enough to have the damn cab detailed," Cat snapped, "Now let's get going."

She slid in beside Kara, balancing the woman gingerly against her shoulder. She didn't want her flopping all over the car as they navigated the streets, but she also wasn't prepared to hold her any closer than that. She gave out her address and then turned her attention to the mystery woman, monitoring her breathing and pulse and hoping that her wounds weren't as deep as she feared.

It took twenty minutes to get to Cat's apartment building and another ten for the cabbie to find parking, hoist Kara out of the car and follow Cat up the elevator. She unlocked the door to her penthouse and ushered the burly and slightly unkempt man inside. He was the sort of man she normally wouldn't allow within ten feet of her private space, but she didn't see that she had much of a choice.

Thankfully Carter and his nanny had already retired for the night, and the odd trio moved through the dimly lit living room, down the hallway and into one of Cat's guest rooms. She motioned toward the bed and Phil laid Kara down on top of the covers, then followed Cat back into the living room.

"Okay," he said, once they were standing near the door, "I don't know you, I don't know the chick in there and I don't know whatever kinda kink you're into, but don't you think she'd be better off at a hospital?"

Cat thought about the marks on Kara's wrists, marks she had been careful to cover before Phil had seen her, and replied, "No, no I don't. And I'm paying you to drive and carry, not hand out medical advice."

She dug into her purse - that Italian purse with the now slightly-damaged strap - and pulled out another hundred dollar bill.

"Now," she said as she opened the door, "I'll thank you to leave and forget you ever saw any of this."

Phil just shook his head and ducked out the door, muttering again as he pressed the button for the elevator.

As soon as she'd shut the door, Cat had rushed back to the guest room, phone in hand. She set it on the nightstand while she looked the blonde woman over one more time. She didn't want to hurt her, but she needed to see how badly she was bleeding before she made a call. With hesitant motions, she pushed on the woman's injured shoulder just enough so that she could peek at the sliced fabric of her top. The damp spots, barely recognizable as blood against the black fabric, were larger, but not as large as she'd feared, and there wasn't a substantial amount of blood on the bed's coverlet. She eased Kara back down to a flat position and took up her phone.

"Cat? Why are you calling me at ten o'clock on a Tuesday?" said the man who answered.

"I need a favor, James."

"Another house call? Cat, I told you, I'm not a family physician. Can't you call Carter's regular doctor? There must be someone on call," James replied, remembering that the last time Cat Grant had called in a favor it had been because her son had a mild case of the flu.

"I'm not calling about Carter."

"Something's wrong with you?" he asked, sounding more concerned.

"Yes. I've got an injured woman with scars on her wrists passed out in my guest room."

"I can be there in fifteen minutes."

Cat nodded without answering, and hung up the phone. She wavered between wanting to keep watch over her rescuer, and wanting to keep James from ringing the bell and waking up Carter. His nanny slept like a log, so she wasn't worried about her. In the end, she waited with Kara for another few minutes, just watching her chest rise and fall with her slow breathing, and then hurried out to the living room and opened the door, watching the elevator directly opposite.

James Olson was a man of his word, and almost fifteen minutes to the second, the elevator dinged and he stepped out. Cat just motioned to him briskly, before shutting and bolting her penthouse door after ushering him inside.

James had started out his career back in Metropolis, working at the same paper as Cat, The Daily Planet. He had started working there as a runner while he was still in high school. Cat had already moved on by then, but she still paid visits to her old stomping grounds - mainly to gloat - and had met James during one of them. He had been friends with Superman before he'd vanished, and afterwards, he had finished out high school and moved to National City.

Cat had been happy to hire him as a junior photojournalist while he attended college, but he'd soon decided that he needed to go into a field where he could more directly help people. He was still so stricken by the disappearance of his friend and needed to feel that he was carrying on in his memory. It really hadn't taken a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist to suss out that his other best friend - Clark Kent - had been Superman's mild alter ego, making the loss doubly hard. Clark had been a friend of Cat's back when she and Lois Lane were fighting their way up the ladder and keeping busy being the best of frenemies. Sadness over his loss was something that she and James shared, though they never spoke of it. James had gone back to medical school, with Cat's support, and had just started practicing in National City.

"So where is she? And are you sure about the scars?"

"She's back here, and yes. The LordTech logo is rather hard to miss," Cat said as she brought him to the guest room furthest from the living room.

She pushed open the door slowly, in case the woman had, by some miracle, regained consciousness, but no, she was still lying there, still breathing.

James took one step inside and froze.

 

"What? What is it? I already told you she was an Alpha. This can't be that much of a shock," Cat said from beside him.

"It's just that she doesn't exactly look like a typical Alpha," James replied.

It was true. In the first place, most of the Alphas were males. Then, while the first Alphas had been Kryptonians and had, at least in those first months, been in prime physical condition, over time they had become scarred and rough looking from repeated fights and harsh training and living conditions. And other aliens - many of them more brutal in appearance than the average human, or just plain strange - had been captured and trained, leading to the public's perception of all Alphas being almost animalistic fighters. In comparison, Kara was a slender woman with fine-boned features, and while her skin bore bruises, the only scars were those on her wrists. In her unconscious state, she looked like a perfectly harmless human.

Cat gave a slight shrug. "You're right about that," she said, "but she almost smashed my attacker's head like a grape."

The two of them approached the bed, a mix of caution and sympathy ruling their actions. Cat stood near the end of the bed while James gingerly sat down next to Kara's hip.

"Oh my God," rushed out in a whisper as he got a closer look at Kara's face.

"What? She's still breathing, isn't she?" Cat said in a slightly panicky voice.

"Yeah... Yes, she's still breathing. It's not that," James replied, slowly, shaking his head as a sorrowful expression passed over him, with memories being pulled to the forefront of his mind. "I know who she is."

"You know her? That's impossible. She doesn't look like the normal criminals they draft into fighting, so she's obviously Kryptonian."

"Yeah, you're right. She's Kryptonian."

"Then how do you know her?"

"I don't really know her. I just know who she is - well, who I think she is. I've only seen pictures, and she was much younger."

"Could you pretend that I really don't have the patience for this and skip to the lead?"

"I think she's Superman's cousin. She landed here just before Fort Rozz, and he hid her away with a family up the coast. He only showed me a couple of pictures one time. He disappeared a few weeks later."

"Well wherever she came from, she's here now, and she's got a couple of deep stab wounds in her upper back."

"Help me roll her over so I can get a look at them," James said, settling into his doctor persona as he put his medical bag down on the floor beside the bed.

Kara was soon positioned on her stomach, with her fight suit cut open from waist to neck, and the expanse of her back laid bare. Her skin showed signs of fading bruises, but the most noticeable injuries were the two sluggishly bleeding wounds near the top of her shoulder.

"They don't look as bad as I expected," Cat said, with some surprise.

"Well the cuffs the fighters wear are designed to suppress their powers. I'm guessing between that and whatever else happened to her between when she escaped and now, her powers were depleted. But now they're beginning to come back and her body is repairing itself."

"So she'll be all right?"

"I really don't know for sure, but I assume so. I'll clean out the wounds and put in a couple of stitches to make sure they stay closed. Cl - Superman blew out his powers a couple of times and they usually came back within a few days."

"James," Cat said, not unkindly, "I know that Clark was Superman. I'm a journalist. And also not a completely blind idiot."

With a sigh, James' shoulders hunched forward and he said, "Yeah. Yeah, he was."

"So you said you know who this girl is? Do you know her name?"

"Kara. Kara Zor-El. I don't know who she was staying with. And for all I know, I'm dead wrong. But I remember - in the picture, the girl had dark blonde hair, a sad, serious face, and a little scar right between her eyes," he said as he reached forward where Kara's face rested with one cheek against the pillow. He lightly touched a mark near her left eyebrow. "God. She was only a few years younger than me when she landed."

"How - how long do you think LordTech had her?" Cat asked hesitantly.

"I have no idea. The scars on her wrists are deep, but I don't have anything to compare against." He looked at Cat then, making sure to catch her eye so that he had her full attention. "You know how dangerous she could be."

Cat nodded.

"Yes. But you just finished telling me she's Superman's little cousin. She's not some violent alien prisoner - and you know how I feel about even them."

"Yes, and you know I agree with you, but if she's been at LordTech... Cat, we have no idea what they did to her. How long she was there. How well she was "trained"."

"Well I guess I'll find out then. And in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not some shrinking violet. She can stay here while she heals and I can work with her. UN-train her."

James just shook his head sadly.

"It's not that easy and you know it, Cat. You know the only Alpha fighter anyone was even partially successful at rehabilitating, eventually attacked the person trying to help her and then flew off to God knows where."

"And what other suggestions do you have? Send her back to Maxwell Lord? Let them torture this poor woman some more? Hell, if she escaped then I don't even want to know what he'd do to her if he got his hands on her again."

"Cat..."

"No! She saved my life tonight, James. Without any thought for herself. There must be some good inside her, and I'm not sending her away to be locked up somewhere without even trying to help her."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

There was softness and warmth and light. The softness beneath her cheek and the warmth around her body reminded her of her bed on Krypton, where the synthetic fibers were softer than silk. The light though, it was paler than the red sun of Krypton. Kara's eyelids twitched slightly as her thoughts meandered on the edge of consciousness. Pale sun. Yellow sun. Earth, not Krypton.

And suddenly Kara's heart was racing, her breath lodged in her throat as she sat straight up and her eyes opened, scanning the room, wild with panic. Because softness and warmth and light were not parts of her life on Earth anymore. Yet bright sunshine bathed her in a golden glow, and as she clenched her fists, her fingers clutched a thick down duvet.

She rushed to her feet, looking down to see that her fight suit was gone and she wore only her underwear and a thin t-shirt. She had been conditioned not to react to any bodily discomfort but she yanked the blanket from the foot of the bed and wrapped it around herself, hoping that stealing some physical comfort wasn't going to result in punishment.

This place was nothing like LordTech, but where else could she be? She remembered a woman with tumbling blonde curls and a man, rough and mean. She remembered falling and the look in green eyes as her own slipped closed. At least the woman had been safe. Would she have called an ambulance for her? But this was no hospital. She must have seen her wrists. Must have called LordTech. Because an escaped Alpha was dangerous.

With halting steps, Kara moved to the door, hand poised over the knob, needing to get out, to run, to find out what was happening. Her fingers strained to grab the doorknob, but she couldn't do it. If this was LordTech then why was she in this room? Was this was all an elaborate trap? If she opened the door, would she find grey concrete and guards with heavy fists? Would she find herself in the General Population that those same guards had laughed darkly about. Was the loss of this seeming dream-world to be her final mental torture before Maxwell Lord flung her back into the nightmare of her life?

She couldn't do it. If they wanted her, they would have to come in and drag her out. She spun quickly, feeling the tug of pain in her shoulder. Her powers were still gone. She had no way to defend herself and she looked around for something she could turn into a weapon, but there was nothing. The only light fixture was the ceiling light. The nightstand beside the bed held nothing heavier than a woven coaster and a CatCo magazine. A chair in the corner was positioned to catch the first rays of sun, and there was a well-used throw pillow on the cushion, but nothing else. Nothing that could help her.

In the corner she saw another door, partially open, with tile floor visible. Kara rushed over, half-tripping over her blanket, and fumbling with the light switch on the wall when she got there. It was a bathroom, quietly luxurious with plush towels hanging on the wall and fruit-scented hand wash in a cut-glass pump beside the sink. Even the tub was oversized and had a surround of tiny glass tiles, blue and green and grey like the ocean.

The tub was her destination, and Kara climbed in, the surface cold and hard, but her body shielded somewhat by the blanket she kept tightly around her shoulders. She would see anyone who even approached the door, and she would be ready. They could drag her out, but she wouldn't make it easy. She had seen freedom and she would fight for herself one more time before surrendering to her pitiful fate.

Yet as she sat there, rocking slightly back and forth, hands tangled in the blanket, the panic slowly receded leaving only resignation in its wake.

Her mind drifted to parts of her training. She remembered being strapped to a chair and forced to watch video of other Alphas beaten, tortured, even killed. If she made any show of emotion she was thrust into an isolation chamber with the sounds of pain and suffering echoing against the metal sides and filling her mind. By the end, she had been able to watch the most brutal acts without even blinking. She wasn't normal anymore. She had never been human, but now? Could any small spark of soul left within really overcome that?

Of course the woman had called LordTech. She had watched her kill a man right in front of her. Well, she thought he was still alive, but she had certainly meant to kill him. And it hadn't even given Kara pause. If not for the knife in her shoulder, she knew she would have finished him. Would have watched his blood drip from his ears as she cracked his skull. Would have done the same to anyone she saw as a threat.

But he hadn't been a threat to her. She had done it to save that woman, the one with the green eyes. Kara's face twisted in confusion trying to believe that some innate part of herself had pushed her to help. That she wasn't just an Alpha.

As the sun rose higher over the National City horizon, Kara continued to sit, eyes trained on the doorway, and oblivious to the other occupants of the penthouse.

Carter Grant had been taken to his summer robotics camp, and Cat had given the nanny an early paycheck after informing her that she would be working from home for the remainder of the week. Carter would be spending the following week with his father, so the woman had been happy to start her vacation early. A few phone calls later and Cat was ready to start her work day. She'd told her assistant to change all of her in person meetings to conference calls and had postponed a luncheon with two of the more pompous members of CatCo's board of directors. She admitted to herself that she probably would have found a way to delay that event even if she hadn't had a Kryptonian Alpha fighter lying in her guest room.

She had checked on the Alpha - Kara, she kept reminding herself - several times during the night, but hadn't gone near the guest room since morning had come. She hadn't wanted to rouse any suspicions in Carter. The room was the one closest to her own master bedroom, but it was no longer in regular use even as a guest room. It had once been Carter's nursery and was the smallest room in the penthouse.

James had told Cat that the loss of her powers might cause Kara to sleep for the entire day as she recharged. She had opened all of the blinds and pushed the curtains aside to allow as much sunlight as possible to flood the room. She wasn't exactly sure what she was going to do once Kara was at full-power and full-strength, but she wanted the woman to heal as quickly as possible and the sun would no doubt help.

It was after nine a.m. and Cat still hadn't heard any sounds from inside the guest room, and she assumed that Kara was still sleeping. The other thing that James had told her was that Kara would need more food than the average human, and so she was torn between letting the woman sleep and attempting to wake and feed her. Taking a sip of her coffee before setting it down on her desk, she decided that she would at least check on Kara before she started her work.

When she actually got to the guest room door, Cat became more hesitant. She hadn't been at all worried about checking on Kara during the night. Then, she had known that the woman would no doubt be sleeping, but now, she wasn't at all sure. She wasn't sure, and she didn't know what she would find if Kara was awake. While she'd talked a good game to James, the truth was that she knew that having an Alpha in her home carried serious risks. Sure, Kara had protected her in the park, but that could have been nothing more than instinct. Instinct that would now turn the Kryptonian against her if she was feeling trapped.

Cat took a deep breath and opened the door. She couldn't stand in the hall all morning wondering 'what if', she had to face whatever reality held for her. As she swung the door open gently, she glanced around the room and her brows drew together in confusion. The room was empty, but she knew she hadn't heard the door open, and she certainly would have noticed the blonde roaming through the penthouse. None of the windows were open or broken, so clearly she hadn't flown off anywhere.

Stepping inside the room, Cat saw that the bathroom door was open half-way and the light was on. She really didn't want to approach the girl in such a small area. She feared that it might seem threatening and confrontational, but she didn't see that she had much of a choice. Kara might have gotten up to use the bathroom and then passed out, further injuring herself.

With slow steps, she rounded the bed and moved towards the bathroom, slowly pressing the door further open when she got there. The sight that met her eyes both frightened her and broke her heart.

Kara was still sitting in the tub, completely wrapped up in the blanket from the bed, with only her face and her blonde hair visible. Here eyes were huge, and Cat couldn't tell if she was even seeing her or was lost in some terror within her mind. Because it was clear that the woman was scared out of her mind. She was moving slightly, just back and forth, back and forth, while those blue, blue eyes stared right through her.

"Kara?"

And the woman suddenly startled and then blinked as if she couldn't understand what she had just heard. In truth, she couldn't believe it. She hadn't heard her name uttered by anyone but Alex or Maxwell Lord in almost two years. It sounded strange coming from this new voice. This green-eyed woman. She blinked again, several times in rapid succession, trying to discover if this was real or a jumble of thoughts and dreams. Why would this woman be here? Where was here? What was going to happen to her now? She clutched at the blanket tighter and started rocking a little faster.

"Kara... That is your name, isn't it?" Cat said, trying to keep her voice slow and calm although her heart was pounding fast within her chest.

For a moment Kara didn't know what to answer. Didn't know if this was a trick or a tortured hallucination, or the real world. Sadly, that last seemed like the least likely option.

"You're safe here. I had you brought here last night," Cat explained. "You remember the park? You helped me. You kept that man from - well, never mind about that. You were hurt and I had you brought here and had a doctor look at you."

At that, Kara startled again, much more violently. Doctors were never good. Never. She had to get out. She had to run from this place before any other doctors came for her. With jerking motions, she started to scramble out of the tub, but she struggled to get her legs untangled from the blanket and pitched forward over the side. Only Cat's quick dash across the room kept her from slamming her head against the tile floor, but when she realized what she was doing, she just as quickly righted the other woman and stepped back, holding her hands in the air and trying to seem as non-threatening as possible.

"I swear, you're safe here. The doctor is a friend of mine. He's not going to tell anyone you're here, and neither am I. You're injured and your powers are gone, and you need a safe place to rest. This place."

Kara's eyes snapped up to meet Cat's at the mention of her powers. So this woman did know that she was an Alpha. This woman knew what she was capable of and was still offering her a place to hide and rest.

"My name is Cat Grant. Maybe you've heard of me? CatCo Worldwide Media. CatCo Magazine, etcetera, etcetera," she said adding a slight flourish with her hand.

Kara had thought she'd seen something familiar when she'd stared at the woman in the park. She'd felt memories pricking at the back of her mind, and now she felt them becoming less foggy, less shrouded by the conditioning that taught her that anything prior to LordTech was unimportant and even dangerous to think about. Kara looked up at Cat, still somewhat fearfully, and nodded her head just once.

It was enough for Cat, and she breathed a long sigh of relief before saying, "And you're Kara Zor-El. Is that right?"

Kara's eyes took on a more frightened and haunted look again. That name was something she had been trained to reject, even as she'd clung to it in her heart. She nodded again, slowly.

"Well then, now we've settled on who we both are, I am going to leave and get you something to eat and something to wear." She motioned to the blanket. "I'm sorry we took your clothes, but we needed to cut your top off to treat your shoulder, and then it seemed simplest to remove the whole thing."

She backed out of the room slowly, watching as Kara relaxed slightly.

"That tub is not the most comfortable place to sit, so I suggest you come out here and get back into bed," Cat said, trying to make her voice sound gentle but confident.

However long Kara had been held by LordTech, she had obviously learned to obey commands, and to fear personal choice. She hoped that providing some concrete guidance would make her feel more secure. As she continued to back away and then turned, she saw Kara begin to move, extricating herself from the blanket. Cat let out another quietly held breath and left the room quickly.

Once in the hall, she shut the door and then leaned back against it, breathing hard and staring at a point high on the opposite wall. She had not expected that to be so terrifying, and she hoped that at least some small amount of progress had been made.

On the other side of the door, Kara moved, step by slow step, out to the bedroom, dragging the blanket in one hand. She looked around, her eyes darting to every corner to make sure that her new captor was gone. Cat Grant. Not really her captor. Kara wasn't sure what she was. A protector? That couldn't possibly be right. Kara shook her head, trying to settle the confusing thoughts that swirled within.

She looked at the bed. Cat Grant had told her to get back in bed, but it was right near the door. It was the first thing anyone would see when they entered. Too open. To exposed. Kara looked around the room and then pushed the chair further from the window. She pulled the duvet from the bed and piled it onto the floor where the chair had been and then curled up in a tight ball on top of it. The chair and the bed blocked her from view, but she could still see just the top of the door. Pulling the blanket over herself she kept her eyes focused on the the door and wondered when it would open again. Cat Grant had said she was safe, but her heart still beat fast, like bird wings fluttering against her ribs. Even if she was safe for now, she didn't think she would ever fly again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat learns that perhaps this experiment of hers is more dangerous than she assumed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments, criticism, heck just notes that you are following this! It's a more difficult story to write than usual, for me, so I am definitely in need of more motivation to keep it going.

Chapter Six

Patient had never been a word that could be used to describe Cat Grant, but she exercised great restraint as she first sent a few emails before going to the kitchen to make breakfast for her guest. She knew that Kara would need some time to process what was going on, and so she aimed to give her that. She was slow and methodical as she got out the ingredients for scrambled eggs and then pulled strawberries and melon and grapes from the refrigerator and started cutting them up for a little fruit salad.

She wasn't sure what sorts of foods Kara might prefer, but from what she had seen, the younger woman certainly hadn't been over fed by LordTech. Whatever she provided would probably be gratefully eaten. At least that was what she hoped.

By the time all of the food had been prepared and loaded onto a tray, just over an hour had passed and Cat decided that was enough time for Kara to have settled down from her initial shock. Cat wasn't precisely sure why she cared quite so much about making sure a perfect stranger - and a possibly violent Alpha at that - was comfortable and content. Yes, Kara had rescued her in the park, and yes, Cat had always thought that the treatment of the aliens and the entire Alpha fighting culture was barbaric and unfair, but she could have found another way to help the damaged Kryptonian. She was sure she could have contacted the scientist who had nearly rehabilitated the Alpha not long ago. She could have worked with James to find a safe place for Kara.

But there had been something about those confused and sad blue eyes in the park, and then again when Kara had been huddled in the tub, that had struck at something deep within Cat. She herself had few strong connections with people. Her son, a few close friends, but literally no other family, and no other loved ones. It was a loneliness that she saw magnified within Kara's eyes. The young woman had no one. Had been abused for some untold amount of time, and had now escaped into a world that feared if not reviled her. Cat just couldn't send her off as if she hadn't seen those eyes and that sad, frightened face.

She thought back to her friend, Clark Kent. And they had been friends; the bickering, sarcastic, psudo-sibling sort of friends. She remembered how kind he had been, and what an impossibly naive, country-boy attitude he had possessed about everything. Discovering that he was Superman had been almost too easy. 

She wondered how much like him Kara must have been before LordTech had gotten its hands on her. When Superman had disappeared, she had backed away from the story. The Fort Rozz prisoner attacks had come soon afterwards and people had started questioning the idea that any alien could be their protector. She had protested against that mentality, written editorials, done a series of articles, but eventually she had backed off. The opinion of the majority had worn her down. She had a chance now to make that right.

While balancing the tray of food in one hand, Cat knocked softly on the guest room door. She assumed that Kara had fallen asleep after getting back into bed, and she turned the knob and eased the door open with her shoulder. She fully expected Kara to be lying in bed, and was once again confused when she found the bed empty and the room seemingly empty. This time, however, she was able to easily spot the blonde alien when she took a few steps into the room and noticed the chair out of place.

She set the tray down onto the nightstand and walked over to the window, smiling in spite of herself when she saw that Kara had pulled the pillow off of the chair. Cat could remember using that pillow to support Carter as she'd nursed him late at night sitting beside that very window and looking out over National City's rooftops.

"Kara," she said, not in a whisper, but not too loudly either.

She didn't want to startle the other woman by shaking her awake, but the food was getting cold and she knew that eating could help with the healing process. With one foot, Cat nudged at the piled up duvet, hoping that the slight movement would be enough. She was completely unprepared for the response to such an innocent action.

In less than a second, and following a blur of motion, Cat found herself pressed up against the wall, with a strong forearm holding her in place across her chest and shoulders, and a pair of eyes, the blue only barely visible around the blown pupils, that pinned her almost as firmly as the arm. There was no sign of the trembling, terrified girl, and Cat breathed heavily, but felt anger and defiance taking hold rather than fear. Kara was a threat because LordTech's training had made her a threat, and Cat Grant was not about to let Maxwell Lord have more control than her.

"Kara! Let me go this instant!" Cat said forcefully, her tone the same as the one she used every day with the employees who irritated or displeased her.

Almost at once, Kara's eyes closed and then opened as she was shaking her head, a grimace growing upon her face. The broad ring of blue was back in her eyes when they opened again, along with that look of utter terror which Cat had hoped to never see again. Immediately, the arm holding Cat to the wall fell away and Kara stepped backwards, almost tripping over the pile of bedclothes on the floor. A sort of anguished sound was pulled from her mouth, but she clamped her jaw shut quickly and raced towards the door.

"Wait!" Cat called after her, hardly expecting Kara to listen and when the younger woman halted half-way out of the room, she was both relieved and saddened.

Cat could see that Kara was so confused and so used to being controlled that she hardly had a will of her own anymore. The Kryptonian turned around to face the woman she had just attacked, but she didn't dare to look at her, and that told Cat even more about how much help she needed to break free from whatever had been done to her.

"You're free to leave, of course," Cat said slowly, carefully. "You are no prisoner here, and I will even give you money to help to get you wherever it is you plan to go. However, I know that you are without your powers. You can't fly or even run from this city, and I think you know that not everyone will want to help you."

Kara was still staring at the floor. She didn't know what else to do. She felt as if she had no frame of reference for anything in this world she was now inhabiting again after so long imprisoned. She flinched just slightly as Cat became braver and took a step closer.

"I'm just asking you to stay for a while longer. At least until you are fully healed. I meant what I told you. You are safe here."

Kara's head shot up then, her eyes filled with surprise and then with guilt as she gestured towards Cat and then towards the wall. She had almost killed this woman... Well, she had almost hurt her, at the very least... Why was she stopping her? Why didn't she want her gone? 

"Yes, well, I should not have come in without being invited, and I should not have tried to wake you. You were startled and frightened and barely awake."

Kara just shook her head. This was just too much to take in all at once. This had to be a trick. If she didn't run out the door, would guards from LordTech arrive to take her away? Could she really blame this woman - Cat, she reminded herself - for calling them? She was a danger to everyone. She felt her body fairly trembling with confusion and pent up adrenaline and fear.

"Kara," Cat said very slowly and quietly. "I don't blame you for what just happened. You have been through something - something I cannot even imagine. I don't agree with what LordTech and Cadmus have been doing. I have never agreed with it. Whatever you decide, I will help you. You just have to trust me."

In that moment, Kara looked like she was about to cry, her face twisted into such a look of pain, and her eyes squeezed tightly shut. Then it was gone, as if she had pushed it all away, and all that was left was resignation. Cat was shocked to find that there were tears threatening at the backs of her own eyes, and she swallowed hard and took one more tiny step forward.

"You just need a place to remember what your life was like before. You are better than what they tried to turn you into," Cat said, with steely determination.

Kara didn't know if she could believe that, but she also knew that Cat was right. Running out the door right now meant that she would undoubtedly be running right back to LordTech. She didn't know what Cat might have planned, but she had to trust her. She had to at least try.

She breathed out a long, tired breath and met Cat's eyes, just for a moment, but it was long enough. She could see that Cat wasn't afraid of her. She stepped back into the room fully and took another calmer breath.

"Good. I've brought you some food," Cat said, gesturing to the table, and Kara's looked towards the tray and almost immediately felt her hunger pulling her towards it.

Cat smiled, just the smallest curl at the corners of her mouth before setting her business-like mask into place. She watched as Kara sat on the edge of the bed and then looked at her before motioning to the tray.

"Yes, it's all for you," she said. She hesitated to ask her next question, but pushed forward anyway. "Will you speak to me? Obviously you understand what I'm saying."

Kara's hands flew to her throat and then her mouth and she shook her head quickly. It had been too long. She didn't even know if she would recognize the sounds that came from her lips anymore. It hurt someplace deep within her mind to even think about trying.

"That's fine. I just thought... Well, never mind. We'll find some other way for you to communicate to me besides nodding. You may not be human, Kara, but you are not an animal. LordTech tore you apart until you were acting on barely more than instinct, but that's not who you are."

Cat seemed very sure of herself, but Kara just lowered her eyes to the tray of food. She didn't know what she believed anymore. It was true that her thoughts felt more her own, even in this short time since she had escaped, but she had also acted in ways that she could never have imagined five years ago. She reminded herself that she hadn't left Alex behind. She hadn't killed her sister, despite what Maxwell Lord had demanded. She might be buried deep, but maybe Kara Zor-El was still there inside her.

"Eat your food now and I will come back later and check on how your back is healing and maybe we can discuss how to proceed."

Looking up through her lashes, Kara saw how Cat was standing there looking so imposing despite her small stature. Whatever else happened, Kara did not think that Cat would allow her to be taken away without a fight, and with that knowledge came something the younger woman hadn't felt in almost two years. A tiny glimmer of hope.

Cat left the room quietly, watching out of the corner of her eye as Kara picked up the tray and eased herself back onto the bed. The door closed with a tiny 'snick' and Cat let herself lean heavily against it, drawing in a deep and much-needed breath. She had kept herself calm and confident inside that guest room, but now she felt a tingling in her fingertips as tensely held muscles relaxed and the rush of adrenaline subsided.

It was becoming terribly clear just how damaged Kara really was and just how dangerous she might be. Cat knew that if she was smart, she would give up this foolhardy idea of hers, and just contact some people she could trust who could care for the younger woman and hopefully bring her back to the person she had been before LordTech had gotten its hands on her. But Cat Grant had backed away from few challenges in her life, and she regretted every one of them. This was not going to be another regret.

She stood straight again and brushed an invisible wrinkle from her designer blouse. Marching towards her home office, she went over her schedule in her head. She had two conference calls to get through before lunch, and she hoped they would give her an excuse to yell at someone.

As it turned out, both of those calls gave her ample opportunity to vent pent up anger and frustration. It was a shame that Maxwell Lord wasn't actually present, but the poor saps who had dared to send her poorly-written and badly fact-checked articles were fine substitutes. She kindly held off from firing either of them although she had a feeling at least one was probably brushing off his resume.

It was one-thirty before the last call finished up, and Cat was ready for lunch. She was fairly certain that most people who worked with or for her probably assumed that she had no experience in a kitchen and instead hired a cook or ordered all of her food to be delivered. They hadn't been with her when she had first been starting out and had scrimped and saved just to have a decent apartment in Metropolis. She had taught herself to cook, and as with most things she tried, she found she had a knack for it. She also found that she actually enjoyed it, which was why it was something she still did for herself whenever she was at home. Sometimes Carter would beg her to order pizza or Chinese food, but most of the time she insisted on healthier meals prepared by her own hands.

With a pot on the stove heating up frozen soup from the previous week, Cat was left time to prepare paninis made with ham, gruyere cheese, and thinly sliced apples. When it was all finished, she made up another tray and then set an envelope between the plate and the bowl. She had seen how Kara acted around her - there was no sense of comfort between them, just a tense and uncomfortable feeling of predator and prey, no matter how much Cat wished otherwise. A letter would be a way to communicate without forcing Kara into close proximity to her, and it would hopefully give her a chance to reply in more than nods and shakes.

This time, Cat approached the door and then set the tray on the floor before knocking firmly. She was not going to repeat her earlier mistake of entering the room without Kara's permission, possibly startling her into another unfortunate incident of near-violence. She took a step back and waited. And waited. She was about to knock again, thinking that perhaps the injured woman had fallen asleep again, but then the door cracked open and she caught sight of a pair of fearful blue eyes.

"I'm not going to bite," she said, with just a touch of sarcasm. "I just brought you lunch," she pointed to the tray, "and a note. Hopefully it will explain what my expectations are and you can reply with any requests or questions. Fair enough?"

If there was a faint hint of uncertainty in Cat's voice as the door opened a bit more to reveal the tall, strong Alpha, looking much healthier even since that morning, then she was very good at hiding it. Kara, for her part, looked first surprised and then curious and she picked up the tray and nudged the white envelope with her thumb.

A quick nod, and then she backed into the guest room again and shut the door. She was a little bit afraid to see what was written in that note. Afraid to see what sorts of rules she would be expected to obey in order to prevent Cat Grant from sending her back to LordTech and all its horrors.

Cat watched the door close and huffed out a little breath. Well, that had certainly gone better than breakfast.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your comments for the last chapter were SO welcome and appreciated! Of course I am happy to read your thoughts on this chapter as well. :)

Chapter Seven

_Kara,_

_I assume that is the name you prefer but if you have been known as something else during your time on Earth, please let me know._

_I have already told you who I am several times and it appeared as though you had some recollection as to what I do and my public persona. Rest assured, that I am not using you for some journalistic endeavor. Aside from the fact that you saved my life, and I abhor what LordTech and Cadmus have been doing, you also remind me of an old friend._

_On that subject, do you have any friends or family I should call for you?_

_I apologize for not getting you any new clothes yet. I realized that I had nothing that would fit. Some things will be delivered shortly and I will leave the, outside your door._

_While you are here,I have only a few requests._

_You are not a prisoner in your room. You may leave it and move about the penthouse at will. I will show you around or you may explore at will. The only exception is my son's room._

_Which leads to my first request. My son, Carter, is 13 years old and I have not yet told him of your presence here. He will be leaving in two days to spend two weeks with his father. I was hoping that you might be more emotionally ready to meet him when he returns. Until he leaves on Friday evening, I would ask that you remain in your room while he is home and awake. I can knock on your door when he arrives home, and again when he goes to bed. Unfortunately, that will disrupt dinner time for you, but I should be able to bring you something while he is doing his homework or watching television._

_The doctor who saw you last night will be coming again this weekend to make certain that you are healing and regaining your powers. I would ask that you at least meet with him. You may, of course, decline to have him do a full examination._

_I foresee that writing all of our communication will get tiresome in short order, so I would ask you to consider how you would prefer to communicate. I understand your choice or inability to speak and will not mention it again._

_I will not ask you what was done to you while you were held by LordTech. If you wish to tell me anything or nothing, that is your decision. I will find a trusted therapist for you if you wish. I know there are several in National City that specialize in PTSD and more than one owe me favors._

_I realize that you have not had free will in some time, and you may have some difficulty asking for things. I am going to try to help you, and you will need to try to help yourself, and that will mean trying to tell me what you want or need. I do not think that leaving the penthouse is a good idea until I can determine if LordTech is looking for you, but if there is some food, or clothing, books or other entertainment you would like, you will need to tell me. You are not going to be punished for making requests, although I may take some slight offense if you refuse to eat my cooking. That was a joke..._

_Finally, I have told you that you are not a prisoner in your room or in my home. However, if you decide that you need to leave, I would ask that you please tell me before you go. If nothing else, I will provide you the means to leave the city and settle down somewhere safe._

_\-- Cat Grant_

Kara had read the letter at least five times, and she still held it, partially crumpled in one hand, as she hastily swallowed down semi-hot soup and a delicious, though cold, panini. Everything that Cat had written made her feel that she was in a safe place, a good place, and she wanted so much to believe that she was actually free of the Alpha program and capable of living a normal life. Or as normal as possible while still being an alien on planet Earth.

She thought back to the days she and Alex had spent on the beach near the house in Midvale, and she imagined herself there again, painting that beautiful sunset and listening to the seagulls swoop and squawk overhead. It was something she hadn't been allowed to think about for so long.

Then she thought about the last time she had seen Alex, unconscious on the cold concrete steps of the hospital. She wondered if Alex was okay now. Was she safe? Was she wondering where her sister was? Would she put herself back in danger trying to find her again? What if it had been a mistake to just leave her there? Kara wondered if she would ever find her way back to that beach in Midvale, and if Alex would be beside her if she did.

There was a light knock on the door, and Kara set the tray back on the table and tentatively went to open it. Cat was gone by the time she got there, but there was a small pile of clothing left behind. Loose-fitting yoga pants, soft cotton tops and a long cream colored cardigan. There were also underthings and scrunchy socks, a hairbrush and several hair elastics. Kara brought it all back to the bed, feeling overwhelmed again, and confused about what Cat wanted from her and why she was being so kind.

Her thoughts also kept coming back to what Cat had written about her son. A young boy. Barely a teenager. All Kara had to do was close her eyes and she could see how close she had come to hurting his mother. She could feel the smooth skin beneath her arm, smell the faint hint of jasmine from her shampoo, and hear the thundering beat of her heart. Cat had seemed to know just what to do to save herself. She had taken control of the situation, but what would a frightened boy do?

Feeling her hands begin to shake and she sat back down on the bed quickly wrapping her arms around her knees; her default safe position. The boy she had killed had only been a few years older than Cat's son and she knew she would never forget his eyes. With her forehead resting against her knees, she tried to steady her breathing. Cat believed that the Alpha part of her could be stifled, pushed back, overcome. She only wished she had that same faith.

She gathered up the clothes and went into the bathroom, almost surprised by her desire to shower and brush her hair. For so long every action had been dictated, and it seemed as if she should be paralyzed with indecision now. Something about her current situation, tenuous as it might be, was making her just comfortable enough for that part of herself that had spent so long locked away, to exert itself, if only in small ways.

The hot water of the shower was soothing, and the shampoo must have been the same as Cat's, because Kara could smell jasmine as she quickly washed her hair. The small part of herself was telling her that she could take as long as she wanted, but the well-trained Alpha knew that the pleasure could be taken at any time.

As she stood in front of the mirror, wrapped in a towel and running the brush through her hair, she stared at her reflection. She was trying to see the woman she had been two years ago. Her hair was still long, and there were no extra wrinkles on her face, but she still had a hard time reconciling the part and the present. It was her eyes, she realized. They looked so empty now. She supposed they were a reflection of how she felt.

The clothes Cat had left for her fit perfectly, and they were so comfortable and soft that Kara actually took a moment and just wrapped her arms around herself, relishing in the sense of security that such small things could give her. When she left the bathroom, she was feeling more capable of free thought, and she knew it was time to write her letter to Cat.

Even so, it was a long time before she could pick up the pen from the tray and start writing on the second sheet of paper that had been inside the envelope.

Holding the pen felt awkward and Kara felt clumsy and uncoordinated as she wrote the first couple of lines. It shouldn't have been surprising, as it had been such a long time since she last wrote anything, and yet it triggered a lump in her throat and a twinge in her heart. Even this, LordTech had almost taken from her.

At first she wasn't exactly sure what to write. It was odd to suddenly be able to make requests, to have some semblance of control over what happened to her body. It was also frightening, because she could feel her strength returning and now, reading that Cat had a son, she was even more afraid of what that meant. LordTech had always kept her under strict control, powers dampened unless in the middle of a training fight. 

They had also prevented her from having much in the way of free thought, other than fears of what might happen next and the basic desires for food, warmth and some degree of safety - all of which had been denied at one time or another. The only thoughts they wanted her to have had been ones borne of the instinct to stay alive. Those thoughts were the ones that had caused her to immediately lash out when Cat had woken her from her uneasy slumber. Cat had stopped her, but what if she couldn't do that next time? What if next time it was her son held against the wall, with her hand drawn back and ready to strike?

It was with those worries in mind that Kara wrote out her response to Cat's letter.

_Ms Grant,_

_My name on Earth was Kara. It is nice to hear it again._

_There is no one I would like you to call. Anyone who knew me is better off thinking I am dead or whatever they were told._

_Thank you for allowing me to stay here. Thank you for not calling LordTech or Cadmus. I understand if you change your mind in the future but please just tell me to leave and I will go and find someplace away from everyone so that I will not be a danger to anyone, I promise. Please don't send me back there._

_I would never refuse your cooking. The food you have given me has been very good. If you cannot bring me anything because your son is home, I will be fine. I am not used to eating regular meals all the time anyway. Thank you for the clothes as well. I wish that I could repay you. Someday, maybe that will possible._

_I would like a lock put on the outside of the door to this room. Please lock it when your son is home._

_You don't need to buy me anything else. You have told me I need to learn to ask for things, but I think I have forgotten how to want things other than necessities._

_I will let your doctor examine me, but I feel myself healing so it really isn't necessary._

_I know that LordTech turned me into an Alpha, but I swear that I never wanted to hurt anyone. I DON'T want to hurt anyone. I will try very hard to deserve your kindness._

_Kara Zor-El_

When she had finished writing and put the pen aside, Kara felt emotionally drained. She folded the letter and put it into the envelope and then just held it for a minute. She could just slide it under the door. Or she could go and find Cat and give it to her in person. That would be the normal thing to do. Well, normal wasn't writing letters instead of talking and staying with perfect strangers and being petrified of doing something wrong and being punished or even sent back, or, even worse, hurting someone else accidentally. But Cat seemed to think that she had a chance of overcoming the Alpha part of herself and she owed it to her to at least make an effort.

It took several minutes before she could actually open the door, and when she did, she half expected to be jolted awake and find herself back in her cell. She let out a breath when that didn't come to pass, and hesitantly stepped into the hallway. Her superior hearing was coming back, and she followed the sound of typing and shuffling papers. Cat's office was only a few doors down, and when Kara arrived, she just stood there, envelope clenched in one hand, heart speeding up with every second that she waited.

Finally she knocked, very quietly, and then listened. There was a sharp sound of surprise from Cat's lips, and then the faint squeak of wheels against wood as the expensive leather desk chair was pushed back. A few seconds later, and the door was being opened, and Kara took a quick step back. To Cat, she resembled a frightened deer, and she tried to put a kind smile on her face though she was stricken at how Kara was almost trembling, clearly still expecting the worst.

Kara thrust the letter towards Cat, her eyes glancing from it to the smaller blonde, as if trying to convey what she couldn't express with words.

Cat took the letter and then stepped backwards, motioning for Kara to join her in the office.

"Would you like to have a seat while I read this? Do you need anything? Water? Something else to eat?"

Kara shook her head as she sat on the leather chair that faced the large mahogany desk. Her blonde ponytail swinging from side to side, and Cat thought it made her look like the innocent girl she must have been before LordTech had seized her.

She still didn't know how that had happened, and she didn't want to ask. She assumed that it was probably one of the more painful memories the other woman possessed. If she wanted to tell her about it someday, she would listen.

Sitting down again, Cat slid the letter out and gave a quick, hopefully friendly, glance at Kara before beginning to read.

Almost at once, she wished that she had let Kara go back to her room and read the letter in private. The quick inward breath at the casual mention that any loved ones would be better off assuming her to be dead, was followed, in rapid succession, by surprising pangs in her heart and a sick feeling in her stomach as she continued to read.

The fact that Kara still believed that she might be sent back to LordTech and practically begged to be spared that, made Cat want to cry, and that was not something that Cat Grant did. The gratefulness for just the small things she had provided for the woman, and then the one request - for something Kara clearly believed would keep Carter safe? It all made Cat feel vaguely nauseous. She took a few cleansing breaths before putting the letter down and looking up at Kara who was now staring at her with a resigned look on her face that was almost worse than the fear she had expressed earlier.

"Well," Cat started, buying herself some time to continue getting her thoughts in order. "Of course you are very welcome to everything I've given you. I suppose that first I should say that you are not going to be skipping meals or going hungry here, regardless of whether or not Carter is home. So get that thought out of your head."

Kara's brows rose at that, surprised that Cat would even bother to address something that she herself felt would have been such a minor inconvenience considering everything she was being given.

"I am happy that you are concerned with my son's safety," Cat continued before clearing her throat softly, a bit overtaken with emotion, "but I will not be installing any locks on any doors."

The response from Kara was instantaneous. She rose up slightly, her entire face taking on a worried expression while she gestured impotently towards the door and herself.

"Kara, no. I am not locking you into your room. You're not trading one cage for another all be it vastly more comfortable one. Carter will only be here for two more nights. He is not prone to wandering the penthouse in the middle of the night, and if you are concerned that you may sleepwalk or something of the sort, well there is a lock on the knob on the inside of your door. If you have to pause to unlock it, I believe that will wake you."

Kara did not look the slightest bit convinced. She was biting her lower lip and twisting her hands together on her lap. Cat sighed and let her eyes drift back to the letter. She hated that she was refusing the one thing Kara had asked for, and she hated that the one thing she had asked for was to be stripped of her freedom. As if she considered herself to be an unpredictable animal rather than a horribly abused victim of a dark and twisted system.

"Oh, Kara..." Cat said on a sigh. "If you really insist on a lock, then I will put the child lock I once used on the balcony door, onto the door to your room. You would most likely be able to break through it even without your powers, but it would take considerable effort, and slow you down enough to wake up. Is that acceptable."

The almost frantic nodding coming from Kara actually drew the smallest of smiles from Cat, despite the circumstances. She knew that there was a dangerous Alpha lurking within the slender woman, but at the moment she more closely resembled some sort of puppy, ridiculously eager to please.

"Fine. I'll do that this afternoon before Carter arrives home," Cat said before folding her hands on the top of the desk, her expression growing so serious that Kara became uncomfortable again and seemed to shrink into herself.

"There's just one more thing, I wanted to address," she told the nervous woman. "You have expressed, several times, how grateful you are. You have also... asked... well, implored, really... that I not send you back to the Alpha program."

Kara nodded hesitantly. It was the thing she was most afraid of, but also what she considered to be the most likely result of this "experiment" of Cat's. If she couldn't become "human" quickly enough, then Cat would consider her a danger to society and would send her back to people who could control her.

"Kara," Cat said, very firmly, causing the other woman's eyes to snap up to meet hers before quickly finding her twining fingers again. "I am never, EVER, sending you to LordTech or Cadmus or any other godforsaken Alpha center or any other alien holding facility. I will fight like hell if you are discovered and anyone comes for you. You are not some random Alpha with a number instead of a name," she insisted. "You are Kara Zor-El and I intend to see that you reach your full potential, so you had better strap in, because you are going to be doing most of the work, but I am going to be here to make certain that you have someone on your side yelling louder than whatever voices those bastards put inside your head."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slightly shorter chapter that brings us news of Alex - and Maxwell Lord

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I will start working on chapter 9 which will bring us back to Kara and Cat. I feel that some more in-depth world building and characterization of people other than our two main ladies is necessary to make everything a more cohesive novel. However, feel free to tell me if you disagree!

Chapter Eight

She was cold, which wasn't terribly unusual these days, and she was prepared for a fight, also not unusual. But there was something strange about the arena. She could hear voices, loud and clamoring inside her skull, but she couldn't see anything beyond the blinding white spotlight that was directed right at her. More shouting, more voices, and then another spotlight and suddenly her sister was there, and they were rushing at each other and there was pain, pain, pain. The light grew brighter even as her breath grew shorter and in a rush` her eyes shot open wide and she sat straight up in bed.

"Honey, honey, it's okay. You're all right now. You're here in the hospital. You just came out of surgery, do you remember?"

"Mom," Alex said, but it came out as more of a throaty whisper as she let herself be eased back against the raised head of the bed.

"Yes, honey, I'm here. I came as soon as you called. I've been with you the whole time."

The events of the past week came back piecemeal, the anesthesia still muddling her thoughts, and Alex closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on reality and push her dream aside.

"And Kara?"

"There still haven't been any reports of an escaped Alpha - "

"Don't call her that!" Alex said harshly, but Eliza Danvers didn't let the tone bother her.

"Sweetheart, you know I don't feel that way about her. I'm just telling you what the news would say."

Alex released a long breath as memories from the past two days slotted into place. She plucked at the adhesive tape holding her IV in place and lifted the sheet to look at her bandaged leg.

"The doctor said your knee should be fine. They were able to repair the torn ACL and the swelling from the dislocation should be gone in another few days. You'll still be on crutches for a while, but you'll be coming back to Midvale, so I'll be there to take care of you."

"Mom, we talked about this already," Alex replied, wearily.

"No, you talked and I disagreed," Eliza countered with forced cheer. "You need help and you need to heal. You belong back at home."

Alex met her mother's eyes and said, "National City is my home too."

"Alex, you haven't lived here for over a year..."

"You say that as if it was my choice!" the younger woman exclaimed, feeling as if they had already been over all of this.

 

"You told me you kept my apartment here. I'll stay there and I'll try to find some answers. I know Dad was volunteering with an anti-Alpha group that was based here in National City. Publicly, they disbanded, but before I was taken, I heard rumors that they'd just moved underground and were actually working with some fringe branch of the government that was trying investigate whether or not the Alpha program should be allowed to continue or if aliens should just be allowed to live their lives like any other citizen."

Eliza shook her head and stood up, beginning to pace. Since the first call from the hospital, she had run the gamut of emotions. Elation at finding Alex was alive, rage when she saw her battered and abused body, and then confusion morphing to grief as Alex gave her just a very brief explanation of where she had been. There had been few real details given, and Alex had frequently stared at the floor or a spot beyond Eliza's shoulder while speaking, but the older woman had been hesitant to push no matter how much she wanted to know.

Hearing that Kara was alive had been another shock to her system, and having long-held suspicions about the Alpha program confirmed had almost driven her to leave the room and find a quiet bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach. She had been enraged to hear what LordTech was doing, and especially Maxwell Lord himself, and it had taken a long time for Alex to calm her down and convince her that there was nothing she could do yet. She still wasn't fully convinced.

"I just don't know why you won't at least try going to the authorities. What happened to you was illegal, Alex. It was kidnapping and torture! Even if people approve of the Alpha fights, you are no alien and you committed no crime. If people were told what was happening, it could change opinions overnight."

"I've already told you why, a hundred times. We don't know where Kara is. For all we know, LordTech has her again. For all we know, she dropped me off here and went right back to turn herself in because she didn't know what else to do. You didn't see her, Mom. You don't know what they did to her. And Maxwell Lord told me what they would do if I ever escaped and revealed anything about what they're doing at that Alpha facility. They will kill her. Slowly, and agonizingly, they will kill her. And meanwhile they will be erasing any sign that either of us was ever there. No one will believe me, and even if they do, there won't be any proof."

"I need to find the group Dad was working with before he died," Alex continued, "I was close to getting in before Lord had me taken. If I can make a connection there, tell them what I know, maybe they can help. If Kara is still out there, maybe they will know how to find her."

"You're talking about aligning yourself with more aliens."

"Good aliens, Mom. Innocents who are trying to find a way to make people see what Cadmus and LordTech have really been doing with their Alpha programs."

"Do not talk to me as if I'm the enemy, Alex. I worked with your father too, you know. I don't disagree with anything you want to accomplish, but I just got you back. You can't imagine how that feels. I was heartbroken when your father died, but at least I had you girls. We were broken, but we were family, and then suddenly I'm seeing news reports about a plane I know you're on going down, and a flying woman is rescuing it, and then one of my daughters is missing. And then less than a year later the other disappears? I was nearly out of my mind with grief, Alex. I can't go through that again and if you are part of some alien resistance, you could disappear again just as easily as before."

Eliza was crying, and a few moments later, Alex was crying too. Eliza was right; she couldn't imagine what her mother had gone through, and she didn't want to cause her any more worry or sadness. But she couldn't just stop trying to help her sister. Eliza didn't know what SHE had gone through. What she had seen Kara go through. She knew that she would be waking up from nightmares about it for a long, long time to come - probably for the rest of her life. She couldn't just accept the possibility that Kara might still be living that nightmare.

LordTech and Cadmus had been given free rein to capture any rogue aliens from Fort Rozz, and any others who were caught using their powers. That still left scattered populations of aliens throughout the country who had remained hidden even as the sentiments against aliens in general had grown, and the enthusiasm for the Alpha fights along with them.

If, as Alex had heard prior to her capture, the pro-alien group in National City had actually teamed up with some segment of the government... If there was some sort of internal investigation taking place to discover what was really going on inside LordTech and Cadmus... Well then Alex knew she had to help. She had all the knowledge they needed. It might not be proof, but she could give them details, tell them things that could be used to hurt the two corporations, and she could finally feel like she wasn't failing her little sister on a daily basis.

She had begged, so many times, to take on whatever punishments were delivered to Kara, and she had been refused again and again while being forced to watch as her sister slowly changed into someone she barely recognized. They had largely left her alone other than the brutal training and mental anguish caused from knowing what was happening to Kara. While they had stripped Kara's emotions along with her free will, they had left her to her burgeoning rage. Maxwell Lord had even personally told her that it made her beautiful and would no doubt serve her well in the arena. Well now she was free, and she intended to use that rage to bring down LordTech, Cadmus and everything they stood for.

While Alex suspected that Lord must be fuming and using all of his resources to find Kara, if not her, she had no idea just how right she was.

The skyscraper that bore the LordTech symbol on the rooftop rose high above the Metropolis skyline. Lord had made a point to build it ten stories taller than any other building in the city. His own office, with its floor-to-ceiling windows was positioned at the northwest corner so that he had the best view of the city but especially of the LordTech Alpha Arena, a facility which took up an entire city block less than half a mile from away.

He was staring out at that arena, fingers curled around the hand-tooled leather armrests of his chair and thinking of the unseen Alpha facility located to the north of the city. It was within sight of the Metropolis, but half underground and vastly larger than the arena he was staring at.

"What do you mean, there hasn't been any sign of her? She is a woman who can fly and break through walls. That should not be difficult to spot!" He wasn't shouting, but the low trembling of his voice made it sound more threatening than if it was rattling the windows.

"Yes, sir. You're right, sir. But, Mr. Lord, we have been monitoring every publication, every news station, every police scanner within a five-hundred mile radius and there has been nothing. It's possible she's just staying hidden?" It wasn't really a question, but the pale, worried looking man staring at Maxwell Lord's back made it sound like one.

"Then increase the search, damn it! She could be anywhere!"

"Actually, Mr. Lord, we have been speaking to all of the doctors who ever worked with subject 487, and they have told us that her powers should not have been able to sustain her for long after leaving our facility. She had only had half of her usual time allotment of artificial sunlight, and with the strain of the fight, they seem very sure that her powers would have blown out, so to speak, if she continued to exert herself."

"And yet, you haven't been able to find her! Obviously she managed to get further than your estimates suggest," he ground out, "despite carrying her injured opponent."

He had told no one of the relationship between the two women. That was his own little secret, a particular perversion which he felt would cast his motivations in a negative light. What wasn't a secret was his extreme interest in 'subject 487' as she was dubbed which was why everyone on the LordTech Alpha team was anxious to find her before their boss' anger was taken out on them.

"We'll expand the search and start searching the smaller medical clinics for word of the injured woman. We should at least be able to find her and bring her back to the facility."

Lord held up one hand and spun in his chair. "No, don't bother," he said harshly. "In fact, I want all records of her presence at the facility to be wiped clean."

"But Mr. Lord, I'm sure..."

"Was there something you didn't understand?" Lord asked, his piercing gaze making the other man take an involuntary step back.

"No, sir. I'll make sure it's done."

"Good. Now get out, and report back this afternoon."

The other man took a deep breath, relieved to be dismissed and said, "Yes, of course. Have a good day, Mr. Lord."

He quickly made his exit, closing the door on his way out.

Maxwell Lord turned back to look at the city again.

Capturing Kara Zor-El had been an unexpected gift. Oh yes, she had given up her Kryptonian name within a few days of her capture. The Danvers part, she had never revealed, but facial recognition software was really so advanced, especially when plugged into a LordTech supercomputer, and he had easily discovered her true name after tracing her from National City back to Midvale.

To have a relative of Kal-El - Superman - under his control was an ego boost that even skydiving and climbing Mt. Everest couldn't compete with. The fact that he had taken her from a gentle, naive, innately kind woman and turned her into something that would kill on his command had brought him intense satisfaction. His training protocol alone had worked, and at the same time, he was learning more and more about the aliens and how to control, defeat and weaponize them.

He admitted to himself that staging the match between Kara Zor-El and Alexandra Danvers had been a mistake. The timing could not have been worse, but he had been too driven by pride to consider the ramifications should she actually defy her training. And that was exactly what she had done, in spectacular fashion that enraged him even as he admired her strength both mental and physical.

But now he had a problem on his hands, and he needed it contained. In less than a week he was due to sign a new contract with the government. It was an agreement that would hand over certain Alphas to the military for use in a special forces unit. They were aliens who had started out as killers, but now through training and various scientific "advancements", they were more robot than sentient being - not that the government really needed to know those sorts of details. If Kara Zor-El started making herself known - especially in her no-doubt mentally and emotionally damaged state - it could bring down questions about LordTech's methods. That would be especially true if the truth about her apprehension and background was made known. She had never been a criminal, had never been violent or unstable; until his training made her that way.

Lord leaned back and reached for his phone, sending a quick text to the lead doctor in Kara Zor-El's training. He hated to admit defeat, but he needed to have her records deleted along with her foster sister's. There was still a chance that his people would find her. If not, he had to hope that she would go into hiding and never reemerge.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara in the sunlight for the first time in a long time... Enough said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is somewhat shorter than other updates but it feels like a natural place to end it. I plan to have the next chapter up tomorrow.

Chapter Nine

While Maxwell Lord had spent the week since Kara had broken free trying to re-cage her or minimize the effect of her escape, Kara had spent it trying to adjust to yet another way of life. It was one that Cat hoped would lead to a return to the life she'd led before the Alpha program had broken her. Kara was under no such illusions.

What she most hoped for was that she would eventually be able to silence the extra voices in her head and live a simple and peaceful life. Cat was right; the voices were loud and insistent and sometimes Kara wanted to just curl up and press her hands over her ears while repeatedly telling herself that she didn't need to listen to them anymore.

They were the voices that rushed her through her meals in case they were suddenly snatched away, but they were also the voices that urged her to hide bits of food in the nightstand and under the bed because it was better to be slightly hungry one night than desperately hungry for a week. They were the voices that made her jump at the sound of metal pans clanging because they told her she was on her way back to the isolation chamber. They were the voices that had her flinching away from any attempted touch because she was so terrified that she wouldn't be able to separate good from bad and the only thing she feared half as much as LordTech was the idea of hurting Cat Grant.

Cat pretended not to notice the way every muscle in Kara's body would clench at the smallest sound or the gentlest brush of her fingers accidentally skimming the other woman's as she passed her a tray of food. She ignored the disappearance of cloth napkins and the fact that Kara insisted on eating alone in her room. It had been less than a week, and despite her legendary lack of patience, she knew she couldn't force Kara into being comfortable or feeling safe.

Kara wasn't a captive any longer, but the truth was that she was still dependent on someone else for all of her basic needs. 

Carter had left for his vacation with his father, and Cat had been sad to see him go. She always missed her boy desperately when he was gone. She had made mistakes with her first son and was determined not to make them again with Carter. He would always know how much she loved him.

With Carter out of the penthouse, Cat had hoped that Kara would feel more comfortable leaving her room. She had come out sporadically while Carter was at camp, but had always been sure to lock herself away long before he was due to arrive back. Cat would hear her later, trying to open the door, and she knew the younger woman was checking to make certain Cat had kept her promise to lock the door from the outside. 

That first night, she had installed the lock, while Kara watched, but she had never actually locked it. The next morning, when Cat had arrived with breakfast and knocked on the door, there had been a long interval and a lot of thumping and scraping before the door swung open. With one look, Cat had realized that Kara had blocked the door with every piece of furniture in the room. The sad and defeated look in Kara's eyes as she'd timidly gestured towards the lock had made Cat repeatedly promise that she would fulfill the other woman's request.

Even after Carter had left, however, Kara remained reclusive. She had even tried to get Cat to continue to lock the door at night, but at that, Cat had finally balked. Part of un-learning everything the Alpha training had drilled into her, was believing that she was worthy of trust. That she wasn't some unpredictable animal. Cat assured her that she knew she wasn't in danger, that she could defend herself and break through Kara's training if she had to, and that she simply was not going to continue to lock her up when there was no need. Even after what she felt was a fairly good and impassioned speech on the subject, Cat knew that Kara pulled the chair over to the door every night.

So, it was with some surprise, that Cat watched Kara walking past the kitchen on Sunday morning while she was banging around in there making breakfast. The only other times Kara had left her room, had been when Cat was in her bedroom or her office. She'd only known of those short ventures because she had started keeping her doors open to be able to hear any sounds Kara might make. The sight of the tall, skittish, too-thin, woman softly padding down the hallway had startled and then pleased her every time.

Now the nervous looking blonde actually turned and gave Cat a little wave before walking towards the balcony doors. Cat couldn't help the anxious feeling she got in her stomach, wondering if Kara was planning to run through those doors and fly off into the sky and away. She watched, not saying anything though she would like to, and Kara stopped a good five feet away from the balcony and just stood there looking out at the sunny day.

Cat flipped the bacon that was sizzling away on the griddle, and then went back to studying Kara's back. Kara still hadn't moved, but she was standing so straight and stiff that Cat wondered if she'd fall over from having her knees locked for so long, or if it was even possible for Kryptonians to pass out.

"Kara?" she said, as she started walking towards the other woman, not wanting to startle her by getting too close without warning.

Kara turned to look at her then, a questioning expression on her face.

"Did... did you want to go out on the balcony? James - the doctor who saw to your injuries - said that you need sunlight."

When Kara looked back towards the National City skyline, it was with a longing in her eyes. She had gone almost two years without real sunlight. LordTech kept her Kryptonian cells healthy with sun lamps and she had never been in a room with a window to the outdoors. She had spent significant time in the guest room looking out at the sun and sitting in the chair by the window, letting the light fall over her body. But she still hadn't felt it directly on her skin. 

She didn't know exactly why the thought of going out there made her afraid. Was there something inside her now that was never going to see a moment of possible happiness without seeing it as a cruel bait-and-switch?

"You can go outside, Kara," Cat motioned towards the balcony when Kara made no response.

Then Cat walked over to the double sliding doors herself and pushed them both wide open. A breeze, caused as much by the updraft from the traffic below as by any natural wind, rushed in, billowing out sheer white curtains and ruffling both women's hair. Cat gave a little comforting smile and held out her hand, though she knew Kara wouldn't take it.

"I actually paid quite a lot for this this balcony. It would be a shame to waste it," she said casually, as if she didn't feel like she'd willingly pay twice as much if the woman in front of her would just come seek out some enjoyment for herself.

There was a tense moment or two while Kara looked between Cat and the open doors, but eventually she made up her mind and stepped forward. One, two, three steps and she was outside and holding her breath and feeling the sun prickling her skin and tears pressing at the backs of her eyes.

"I'd better go make sure breakfast doesn't burn," Cat said, smiling wider than Kara had seen before.

She watched the smaller woman go back to the kitchen, and then took another step towards the balcony railing, letting all of her breath out in a 'whoosh' and then quickly sucking another one in as she felt those tears she had spent so long forcing back, suddenly streaming down her face while her sharp breaths turned to sobs.

Cat couldn't help but hear Kara's heart-wrenching crying, and she dropped her spatula, pulled the griddle off the stove and ran back to the balcony.

"Kara!" she exclaimed, seeing that the supposedly fearsome Alpha had collapsed to her knees and had her hands pressed to her eyes while giant sobs shook her body and sunlight glinted off her silken hair. It seemed horribly wrong to be seeing such strength and beauty overcome by such sorrow.

A moment after she did it, Cat knew that she shouldn't have. With Kara's anguish echoing in her ears, she didn't know if she could have stopped herself regardless of risk. She had dropped to her knees beside the crying woman and instinctively draped one arm around her shoulders. Then she froze, realizing what she had done and poised for whatever reaction might come from Kara's damaged psyche.

Kara heard her name called, and it was like hearing it from a distance, but then there was a warm body suddenly beside her and slender fingers gripping at her shoulder. She should have exploded into action, throwing off whoever had touched her; wheeling around to mount her own attack. But she smelled jasmine and her muscles tightened and froze for just a split second before going weak and slack as she let herself fall against Cat's welcoming body.

Cat's eyes grew wide as it happened, feeling all that power beneath her arm coiling, readying for action, and then instantly relaxing, with Kara's weight shifting against her. She was stunned. And she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so grateful and so relieved; not for herself, but for the suddenly very small looking woman who was leaning in to her support. She slowly brought her other arm up and pulled Kara into a more comforting embrace.

"Shhhh... Shhhh... Kara," Cat murmured, not really to silence the other woman but simply because it was a soothing noise. "You're safe. You are safe her, Kara. And you can come out here into the sun whenever you want. All day if you want. Shhh... Just breathe. You're going to be all right. I'm going to help you. I promise, you will get better. You will."

Cat continued to whisper comforting words as she rocked Kara while the sun continued to climb in the sky, and neither of them remembered that breakfast was waiting inside.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visit from James and some unwanted memories...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 30 chapters outlined (all the way to the end) so that puts this at about the 1/3rd mark. The next chapter is half written already... I would have added it here but it was already long and I didn't want to make you wait anymore. :)
> 
> All comments, criticism and advice are warmly welcomed.

Chapter Ten

Kara spent almost every minute of Saturday outside on the balcony. When she had come back to herself following her emotional breakdown, she had instinctively pushed herself away from Cat, holding her hands out to keep her back. Cat had watched her patiently while she had pulled her hands in, staring at them as if they belonged to someone else. She hadn't hurt Cat. She'd been held so gently, and she hadn't lashed out. It was startling and she didn't want to let herself be lulled to easily into feeling relieved. But it had felt so nice.

She had felt lighter, less afraid, and more secure while she'd been out in the sunshine. Cat hadn't stayed with her the whole time, but she had come out to call her in for meals, and she had brought her laptop out and done some work. Kara found herself glad for the company. Cat didn't expect anything from her and that alone was enough to put her at ease. There was no shouting, no loud noises or screams of pain, no darkness; only the muted sounds of the city and the sunlight giving her strength.

In the afternoon, Cat did approach the chair where Kara was lying, and handed her a book. It was a guide to American Sign Language and Kara looked up at the other woman quizzically.

"You never suggested anything to make this easier," Cat stated, motioning between the two of them. "One of the girls in my dormitory at boarding school was deaf, and she taught us. I was never great with all the syntax, but hopefully I can remember enough basic words and you can learn enough quickly so that you can actually communicate. I know you have words inside you, Kara, and you need to be able to get them out."

Kara took the book with a slight nod, mouthing, "Okay," before pressing her fingers to her lips, somehow ashamed.

Cat picked up on the change in mood almost instantly.

"Kara, it's only been a few days. When you first woke up, you wanted to leave. You were sure you would hurt someone. This morning you finally cried," Cat continued, feeling herself get emotional, "and you let someone hold you - comfort you. You're going to get back to yourself, Kara, but there isn't a time schedule for this. You're already getting better. You don't need to speak to prove that."

Kara nodded thoughtfully and reached for the notepad she had been carrying around with her.

" _They didn't hurt my voice,_ " she wrote before pausing. " _They asked a lot of questions. I just -- stopped answering_."

When Cat looked up from reading, Kara gave a little helpless shrug, as if even she couldn't explain it.

Cat set the notepad down before her tightening fist crumpled it. She had some idea of what that questions must have been like, and she forced even breaths in and out before letting herself give the younger woman a small smile.

"Well, then maybe eventually, you'll be ready to talk again, but there's no rush."

  
Kara gave her another nod, this time with the smallest upturn at one corner of her mouth. It wasn't exactly a smile, but it warmed something inside of Cat and she had to quickly turn and retreat to the penthouse before she ruined her image by bursting into tears.

For the rest of the day, Kara was bent over the sign language book, reading it through cover-to-cover multiple times and practicing twisting her fingers into unfamiliar patterns and forms. Her Kryptonian speed, both physical and mental, had returned and Cat was surprised when Kara was able to perfectly sign her thanks for dinner and the book.

"Quick study," she remarked.

Kara managed to look adorably sheepish while signing, " _You've been so kind to me. This is easier for you than reading my notes. It's the least I could do."_

Cat held up her hand then, looking suddenly stern and slightly disappointed at the same time.

"No," she said. "Kara, if you didn't want to learn, you didn't have to. You are allowed to say no to me. If I made you feel otherwise - "

But Kara was already moving her hands, and Cat had to rush to catch up. "I _was glad to learn. This is easier for me too. And you're right,_ " there was a pause in motion while she tugged at her lower lip with her teeth. " _Eventually there are things inside - me... Things I might need to get out."_

Cat felt somewhat mollified and released a breath she hadn't been aware of holding.

"All right," she said. "I believe you." Then she grinned as she said, "and now you are officially better at that than I am, so you might need to slow down a bit."

The rest of the evening was quiet and peaceful, the two women retreating to their own rooms. While Cat spoke to Carter, Kara looked at the news on the tablet computer Cat had given her, declaring that the woman needed to catch up on the last two years. Kara had been nervous as she had typed in various searches, trying to find any notice of her escape. There was nothing, and as she rested her head down on her pillow, she allowed herself to imagine that any search had been abandoned and that she might have truly escaped.

When she woke the next morning, she was still feeling that sense of palpable relief, and almost immediately padded out to the balcony in nothing but the shorts and t-shirt Cat had given her to sleep in. Other clothes had appeared after that first day - yoga pants, loose sweaters, long skirts and soft shirts - all appearing on her bed during the few times she left the room, and all clearly chosen to be as comfortable and unrestrictive as possible. Even the navy knit shorts with drawstring waist, and oversized pale blue shirt were the softest Kara could imagine. The idea that someone could be so carefully and intentionally kind was absolutely foreign to her and sometimes when she started feeling uncertain or afraid, she would touch a cuff or a hem to remind herself that Cat was a good person. That she was safe here.

With her legs tucked and her chin resting on her knees, Kara watched the sun rise and breathed in deeply as the first rays hit her face. Her eyes slid closed and as she began a silent prayer of thanks to Rao, a real smile pulled at the corners of her mouth.

"You're up very early," came a voice from the doorway, and Kara jerked violently enough to cause her to tumble from her chair.

She looked up with frightened eyes, but of course it was only Cat, now staring at her and looking remorseful as she stretched out a hand but seemed wary of coming any closer.

"I'm so sorry," Cat said, stepping onto the balcony and tentatively reaching down to offer Kara a hand up.

It was impossible to tell who was more surprised when the offer was accepted, and Cat gave a light tug to pull Kara to her feet.

" _It's not your fault_ ," Kara signed quickly.

"I should have waited until your eyes were open. You looked very at peace, and I didn't mean to disturb that."

" _I like to see the sun rise_."

"You get your powers from the sun, is that right?"

" _Yes. But also, we..._ " She shook her head. " _Where I come from..._ " She started again, but then all at once she didn't want to share any more.

She let her hands fall to her sides and looked at Cat's face expecting to see irritation or frustration, but the older woman looked just the same; calm and accepting.

"Maybe you'll tell me another time," she said. "You can stay here while I make breakfast, if you like."

Cat turned and left, and Kara stared after her, half-wishing she had finished her explanation.

It wasn't until after breakfast that Cat reminded Kara that the doctor - James - would be coming by to make sure that her shoulder was fully healed. She had assumed that the news wouldn't be happily received and she was correct.

" _It's all healed_ ," Kara told her.

"I know that, but he can check on some other things too. Check to make sure that you're eating enough. You don't look like you've put on an ounce of weight. And he can test your powers."

Kara shook her head violently.

" _No! No powers_!" she signed quickly and harshly.

Kara's eyes had gone wide and she looked startled at her own outburst. She looked at Cat as if trying to determine if the other woman was angry, but Cat looked just the same, if slightly sadder.

  
" _I think I'm feeling tired_ ," Kara signed then, standing up from the sofa immediately afterwards.

Cat knew that was a lie, but she let the blonde go, watching her walk quickly down the hallway to her room.

Cat knew that she should give her space. She was still an Alpha, no matter how many little steps she had taken over the few days she'd been free. If she was angry, then her base instincts were closer to the surface. Her fight or flight response would be on a hair trigger. Cat sighed at the absolute mess she had made of that conversation, and went to her study to work.

It was late afternoon when the doorman for the building rang the penthouse to announce that James Olsen had arrived. Cat had lost track of time, completely forgetting about lunch, and she glanced out the window to see the sun beginning to set and then hurried to the front door. She looked over her shoulder, expecting to see Kara open her door, but there was no sign of the other woman.

"James, thank you for coming," she said as she held the door for him to enter.

He was holding a small box under one arm and when Cat looked at it questioningly, he answered, "For Kara. And you know I'm happy to help in any way I can. How is she doing?"

"Physically? I think she's fine. Mentally?" Cat shook her head. "Sometimes I think we're making a little progress, but other times I'm not so sure."

"Cat, it's going to take a lot longer than a week to undo what those bastards did to her," James said bitterly.

"I know, I know," Cat said, half-dismissively with a wave of her hand. A sure sign that she didn't want to discuss the topic any longer. "Make yourself comfortable in the living room and I'll go get her."

Cat didn't want Kara to feel trapped in her room, and she knew that the other woman had to have heard the door. She also knew that James was expected. So that meant she was either waiting in her room for some sort of permission to join them, or staying in her room to avoid the meeting altogether. Neither option was acceptable to Cat. She didn't want Kara to feel like she wasn't in control of her own person; a prisoner in the penthouse, but at the same time she needed to be checked by a doctor and Cat was convinced that meeting James, someone who had known Clark - Kal-El - was something that Kara would regret missing.

Inside the guest room - her room, Kara kept reminding herself, because that was what Cat insisted on calling it - the young woman was pacing back and forth. She knew that the doctor had arrived and she was just waiting for Cat to bring him to her. To examine her, and stare at her with cold eyes, while poking at her like some sort of dangerous experiment. Her hand moved in circles over her stomach, subconsciously remembering the last time she had seen one of LordTech's doctors.

The knock at the door, while expected, still startled her from her thoughts and she was slow to turn the knob and open it.

"Kara?" Cat said, questioningly, kindly. "Would you join us in the living room?"

She took in the surprise on Kara's face and was doubly glad that she had made James wait back in the other room.

Cat was asking her. She wasn't telling her that she had to follow an order. She was asking her, and she was looking at her with those pale green eyes and an expression full of understanding.

" _What will happen if I don't_?" she asked, fingers forming the words slowly.

"Nothing," Cat said simply. "James brought some things he thought you might like to have, and I assume he will leave those for you, and I'll make him give me precise instructions on how to make certain your shoulder is fully healed."

Kara nodded, and studied the floor, her hair sweeping forward and partially hiding her face.

" _I'll come_ ," she told Cat, and the other woman immediately backed up so that Kara could slip through the door and head towards the living room.

James was seated when the two women came into view, but he stood up, looking at Kara as if he was trying to memorize her. There wasn't a lot there that reminded him of his friend, but something about the eyes brought back a hundred memories. He swallowed hard and blinked before holding out his hand.

"James Olsen," he stated. "Well, Doctor James Olsen if you want to get technical. And you're Kara Zor-El."

Kara looked at him and then at Cat, but she didn't take his offered hand, instead just signing, " _Yes,_ " before sitting down on the sofa across from him.

James looked over at Cat with some confusion.

"She learned sign language yesterday," Cat said, as if it was obvious. "She's not up for talking yet," and her pointed look told James not to ask about it.

"Okay, well that's good you've found a way to communicate," he said awkwardly as he sat down. "Cat must have told you that I'm the one who fixed up your shoulder. I was hoping I could get a look at it today? Make sure it looks good?"

"It's fine," Kara told him, signing and mouthing the words while looking at his hands rather than his face.

"Still..."

Kara looked at Cat again, for some sign of what she was supposed to do. What she found was the complete absence of any expectations.

"It's up to you," the older woman said quietly.

Kara's breath picked up a bit, and she tugged at her lower lip with her teeth, eventually nodding her head. She angled herself so that she was facing the arm of the sofa, while her shoulder pointed towards James, and then she shrugged out of the loose grey sweater she wore, revealing a thin white tank top and bare shoulder. James stood up and she tried not to flinch away as he stepped closer.

"May I?" he asked, motioning towards her shoulder.

A brief nod was all the response she could give and then she looked away, staring out the balcony doors at the way the sunset was glinting orange and flame off the glass buildings surrounding them.

James was gentle as he eased the thin cotton away from where the wound had been, and he touched her smooth, perfect skin carefully, seeing no sign of the brutal injury.

"Even the stitches are gone," he said, wonderingly. "Not even a sign there was ever a mark there."

He stepped back and Kara quickly pulled her sweater back up and around herself, crossing her arms in front of her stomach.

"Okay?" Cat questioned softly, head inclined towards the younger woman beside her.

Kara met her gaze and let out a long breath while she nodded.

"I'm glad that you seem to be fine, physically," James said as he sat down on the other sofa again, "but that isn't actually the only reason I came."

He lifted the small box from the coffee table and held it out to Kara.

"I brought a few things for you. I don't know if Cat told you, but I was friends with... with your cousin."

At once, Kara's expression changed to one of surprise, and where before she had reached for the package tentatively, now she almost grabbed it and set it on her lap.

"Yeah, we worked together, and, well, I knew who he really was. Knew he was Superman," he clarified. "I also knew about you. Just a little bit," he smiled while remembering Clark telling him the exciting news that he still had a true living relative. "He was really excited. But nervous. He didn't want you to be discovered before you had a chance to have the same sort of normal life he'd led."

Kara was opening the box and inside she found a framed copy of one of Clark's stories from the Daily Planet, and a photo of him as Superman, and then several snapshots of herself. She let her fingers trace over the features of her younger self, and over the dark hair of the other girl in the pictures. Alex.

"He didn't tell me where you were or anything. I mean I think he would have, but there wasn't really the right time and then..." he trailed off, not wanting to think about it, and not wanting to remind Kara either.

"Was that you?" Cat asked, peering over to see what Kara was holding.

" _Yes,_ " Kara replied after setting the pictures back down and closing the box, her hands almost shaking as she did so.

"And the other girl?"

"Clark said the family had a daughter," James supplied, even as Kara shook her head as if telling him to be quiet.

" _I don't want to talk about that, please_ ," Kara signed, mostly to Cat as she cast furtive glances at James.

"I just thought you'd like to have them," James assured her. "That's all."

" _Thank you_ ," was Kara's response, and she did look grateful, if also somewhat nervous.

"There was one other thing I wanted to test, while I'm here," James said. "Now that you seem to have your healing abilities back, it feels like a good time to check and see if you have your powers too."

Cat spoke up as Kara was shaking her head. "She would rather not do that," she told him.

"I'm not talking about a full-scale test or anything," James clarified. "Maybe you could just see if you can freeze this glass of water, or make it boil?"

Kara had stopped shaking her head but she still didn't look happy at the prospect of using her abilities. It had been so long since she had used them for anything other than fighting. LordTech kept her either weakened or completely submissive and she wouldn't have dared to use them there.

"Only if you want to try," Cat told her soothingly. "You don't have to do this."

But it was clear that both Cat and James wanted her to try. For their part, they just wanted to know that Kara was fully healed and that LordTech hadn't somehow stripped those powers from her. Some part of Kara knew that, but as she saw their eyes on her, she felt like she was under observation again, nervous and on edge.

"Kara," Cat spoke again, more firmly. "You do. not. have. to. do. this."

It was those words which released the tightness in Kara's chest and she drew in a long breath.

" _I know. I'll try to freeze it. If that's okay?_ "

"That's perfect."

  
Kara took a moment and closed her eyes before opening them and sending a thin blast of supercooled air towards the glass on the table. Both Cat and James watched the water quickly freeze to sold ice, and though they had known it was possible, they were still awed. But the sudden pained cry from the younger woman pulled their focus back to her.

The moment she had set her powers free, Kara had been struck with the most intense pain throughout her body, but centered in her head. She couldn't contain the small noise that escaped as her hands flew to her temples. Another second later and nausea pooled in her stomach and she lurched to her feet, running to the bathroom, with Cat right behind her. She fell to her knees beside the toilet and retched violently while Cat stood, her fingers stretched out but never touching.

"Kara, what's happening? Are you hurt? What can we do for you?"

It was several minutes before Kara was calm enough to sit on the cold tiles, back against the wall, and look up at the other woman.

" _I'm not allowed to use my powers,_ " she signed, with tears in her eyes.

Cat's hands clenched into fists but she managed to keep her expression neutral.

"You take all the time in here that you need. I'll thank James and send him away."

Kara sniffles and looked up at Cat gratefully. It wasn't until the bathroom door closed that she pulled her knees up and held herself tightly. She had thought she might be free of LordTech, free of being an Alpha to be controlled, but clearly that wasn't true at all.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Kara. Understanding Cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and criticism are welcome. Especially welcomed at this time are opinions as to the pacing of this work. Thanks!

Chapter Eleven

Cat went through the the rest of the afternoon trying to forget that she had an emotionally fragile woman holed up in her bathroom. Luckily, some screw-ups with the printing of the Sunday edition of the Tribune kept her busy writing scathing emails and arranging for interviews to replace people she planned to fire in the morning. When Kara still hadn't come out by the time Cat started dinner, she did become somewhat anxious. She needed to go into the office and she didn't like the prospect of leaving the other woman if she hadn't recovered to at least the state she'd been in prior to James' visit.

She pulled a pan of scalloped potatoes out of the oven and then opened the refrigerator to retrieve the ham she'd cooked the night before. In a few minutes she had large slices arranged on a plate in the microwave and the time counted down while she stirred a pot filled with French-style green beans and then a skillet with slivered almonds sautéed in butter before combining the two. When she turned around to grab plates from the island, she drew in a sharp breath. Kara was standing there with the plates in her hands and her eyes focused on the floor.

Cat knew that eye contact was hard for Kara, and she also knew that LordTech had to be responsible for that. She hated that such an obvious outward sign of the younger woman's damaged psyche was so often on display. With a quiet sigh she stepped forward and took the plates from Kara.

"Feeling a little better?" she asked.

" _A little_ ," Kara signed, her mouth twitching, lips curling in nervously, teeth pulling the bottom one in more firmly.

"If you want to sit, I'll bring dinner to the table," Cat told her, and then watched as Kara obediently went and sat in the seat opposite her own.

They ate in near silence, Cat hesitating to speak much when she knew Kara couldn't really reply and eat at the same time. When they were finished, Kara brought the plates into the kitchen, rinsed them and placed them into the dishwasher. Cat had tried to keep her from doing anything, but Kara had insisted that she needed to do something to feel useful.

Usually the two women might part ways after eating, but Cat walked up beside Kara and looked at her for a moment before asking:

"Join me in the living room for a few minutes?"

" _Of course_ ," Kara replied after shutting the machine's door.

Kara looked nervous as she sat down on the sofa, and Cat took a spot next to her, eager to reassure her.

"Nothing's wrong," she said. "I just wanted to mention that tomorrow I need to start going to the office again. I wanted to... Well, I wanted to make sure that you'll still be here when I return."

It was almost comical how wide Kara's eyes could go when she was surprised, and evidently Cat's concern for her was very surprising.

" _If you're sure..._ " she signed. " _As long as_ \- "

"Yes, yes, I want you to stay."

" _Then I'll stay_."

"Good," Cat said, and then took a minute tapping her fingers on her knees as she thought of how to phrase her next question. "I was hoping you could tell me," she started slowly, "if you know if LordTech put some sort of device inside your body which caused the reaction you had earlier? James thought that it could be possible to remove it, if that is something you want, but he said it would involve weakening you and he wasn't precisely sure how to do that."

Kara was shaking her head, the corner of her mouth pulled back in a sort of sad but resigned expression.

" _No. They didn't do anything like that_."

"Then..." Cat looked confused by that reply.

" _I... I don't really want to talk about it,_ " Kara admitted slowly. " _There... there was a lot of... violence... pain..._ " she shook her head again, eyes squeezing shut. " _I guess I'm still expecting that?_ " she supposed, as her eyes opened again, the sheen of tears glinting in the warm light of the chandelier.

Cat's voice was tight when she said, "You know nothing like that is going to happen here, right?"

She remembered reading stories of prisoners of war, victims of prolonged kidnapping and violence, and their psychosomatic reactions to things, and now Kara's extreme response to using her powers was beginning to make sense to her. Horrible, frustrating, maddening sense. She wished Maxwell Lord was in front of her so that she could punch the smarmy look off of his damned face.

" _I know. I guess my body doesn't?_ "

"It will eventually," Cat said firmly, as if it was a sure thing.

Then she reached down to the shelf beneath the coffee table and brought up the box that James had left.

"I thought you would want to take this to your room. I can probably find you a couple of frames for the photos."

" _Thank you_ ," Kara signed before opening the box and looking at the pictures again.

Cat watched as she shuffled through the various images until the one of young Kara and the dark-haired girl was on the top again.

"Are you sure there's no one you want me to call for you? Or email? I could set you up with an account," Cat suggested.

But the younger woman was shaking her head.

"Kara, you are allowed to have loved ones - a family. The pictures... they are probably wondering where you have been."

" _Too dangerous,_ " Kara signed, mouth down turned and eyes suddenly storm-clouded.

"I've told you that no one is taking you from here. If anyone even tries, the media shitstorm I rain down on them will make them wish they'd never been born," Cat said, more vehemently than necessary.

Kara formed the next signs smaller and close to her chest, as if they scared her. " _Dangerous for her._ "

"For her? But she's human -"

She was cut off by Kara's suddenly quick and sharp signing.

" _That doesn't matter! They took her once. They could get to her again. They know who my family is. They KNOW!"_

Kara hadn't meant to spill all of that out but it had rushed out like a torrent and now she stared at her hands and her lap, and finally Cat's face. Cat's face which was slowly hardening into an expression of pure fury.

"She was at LordTech with you?" she said slowly.

Kara nodded.

"And now?"

" _She's safe now. I think,"_ she looked worried and her mouth twisted into a frown while wrinkles formed across her brow. " _I can't let anything else happen to her because of me."_

"How... how did you know she was there," Cat said lowly, afraid of the answer.

Kara wouldn't look at her. Couldn't look at her. But the tears tracking down her cheek gave away most of the answer.

"They made you fight her."

A short, sharp nod.

"And that's when you escaped."

And another.

"Kara, look at me. You saved her. You don't need to be ashamed."

" _I almost killed her!_ " Kara signed and then hid her face with her hands.

"But you didn't. After all the hell they put you through, you still couldn't do it."

Kara didn't move and Cat didn't reach out to her. She just sat, a steady presence beside her.

"It's hurting you to wonder if she's all right," Cat surmised. "I could check on her for you - "

" _No,"_ Kara signed and then her hands were fisted on her lap. The conversation was clearly over.

"Kara - " Cat reached out to cover one of those fists with her delicate hand.

The motion was so fast as to be nothing but a blur to the human eye. Kara's hands flew up and out, and Cat was pushed off balance, slipping off the edge of the sofa and then stumbling against the coffee table to land hard on her hip. Kara sprang to her feet, expression horrified.

Cat barely had her mouth open to call out to her, but the younger woman had already rushed down the hall and the next sound was the door slamming shut.

If Cat hadn't just learned about the new low to which Lord had sunk. If she wasn't furious about Kara's sister. If she wasn't enraged at the treatment that had made Kara both too scared to act freely and so scared that her fighting instincts took over without her full consent. If this had just been Kara going to her room for privacy instead of fleeing in shame and terror, Cat would not have followed her.

But Cat did follow her, and knocked loudly - too loudly - on the door.

"Please open the door, Kara."

Cat almost growled, wishing that at least she could hear Kara shouting a refusal.

"We need to talk about what just happened."

Then a few moments later:

"You're going to have to come out for food eventually."

Cat wasn't sure how long she should wait before giving up. She knew that she wasn't going to actually force the issue by entering Kara's room without permission.

She didn't know that Kara was sitting on the other side of the door, firmly pressed against it to keep Cat from opening it. She was breathing hard and her hands were shaking. There was so much coming at her. Too many decisions when she wasn't used to even having any choices. Too much risk of harm: to Alex, to Cat... to herself. She remembered Cat holding her the day before and how safe that had felt. She had melted into that gentle touch and it had felt miraculous. Miraculous that someone was holding her so kindly and miraculous that she was actually able to allow it. Now, looking down at her hands she realized sadly that it had been an illusion. Her powers might be mentally blocked, but her strength was seemingly beyond her control and it made her dangerous. She listened as Cat started speaking again.

"Kara, I want you to open the door. I'm not going to make you, but I want you to talk to me."

Kara shook her head though Cat couldn't see it.

"Please, Kara."

It was the please that made the difference as Kara remembered that almost every time Cat asked for something, she said 'please'. For two years, Kara had been given nothing but orders. Cat was trying, sincerely trying, to make her see how life was supposed to be. Cat repeatedly told her that she didn't owe her anything. But she at least owed Cat her attention. She stood up, opened the door and quickly stepped back.

Cat was standing there with her fist in the air about to knock again.

 _"Did I hurt you_?"

"Kara, you just pushed me and I lost my balance. I'm fine."

Kara just stared and Cat rolled her eyes.

"Maybe there's a small bruise."

The Kryptonian's expression turned instantly apologetic.

"I shouldn't have tried to make you change your mind and I shouldn't have tried to touch you."

 _"I'm broken_ ," Kara told her. " _I'm too dangerous to be around_."

The look in those blue, blue eyes was heartbreaking and it made Cat's temper rise even higher.

"No! You are not broken, damn it! Those are THEIR words. Don't you dare believe them any longer!"

When Kara shrank back, Cat took a breath, reining in her anger which was going to do no good here. It would have to wait for the office when she could verbally skewer a few people and then start writing a scathing series on the Alpha fights.

"You aren't broken," she repeated softly. "You have just been conditioned to so much violence that it's what you expect from every physical encounter. It will take time, but you'll remember how it feels to not be so afraid all the time."

Unfortunately, Kara did not look convinced, but she didn't refuse when Cat asked her to join her in the living room again.

Once there, Cat sat on the coffee table, her knees almost bumping into the taller woman's.

"I'm not going to touch you," she said. "So stop looking quite so nervous."

That brought small smiles to both of their faces, and Kara released a long breath and willed herself to stop trembling.

"I'm going to close my eyes, Kara, and you are going to reach out and take my hands. I trust you, and it's your decision. Your choice to touch me. Does that sound like something you can try?"

As worried as she looked, Kara still signed her agreement.

"Okay then," Cat said, and she placed her hands, palms up, on her knees and closed her eyes, wondering if this was going to work.

On the sofa, Kara just stared at the woman in front of her. This woman whom she knew was considered a fierce and ruthless CEO, was sitting there, eyes closed, trusting that she wouldn't cause her any harm. She completely believed that Kara could push past those years of harsh training. And Kara found herself unwilling to disappoint her.

Very slowly, she placed her hands in Cat's, feeling the warmth of her palms, the thin strength of her fingers, the delicate bones of her hands as she curled her own fingers around them.

Cat opened her eyes and she was smiling so brightly that it almost forced the smile to Kara's lips.

"See? I knew you could do it."

She squeezed gently, before carefully moving Kara's hands to her own lap.

"I'm not going to ask you to close your eyes," Cat said, "but do you think you can let me try?" she said, motioning to Kara's now curled fists.

Kara didn't even nod, but her eyes seemed to give all the permission Cat needed. In fact, the two women never broke their gaze as Cat reached over to cover both of Kara's hands with her own. Cat could see the other woman's breathing pick up, and felt the slight tremor run through her, but she pressed gently and Kara loosened her grip and slowly turned her hands until fingers were entwined, palms pressed together. When Kara looked down and then up again, she had the expression of one who had been given some unexpectedly wonderful gift. It was a look that made Cat's heart clench, thinking of how long it must have been since anyone touched this woman in such a way.

"We'll practice this until you're totally comfortable with it. You're not dangerous, Kara, and you're not broken. You've been so badly hurt, but you are strong. Strong enough to escape. Strong enough to save your sister. Strong enough to prove to that bastard Lord that you can overcome anything he did to you."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carter is coming home... How will he react to having an Alpha there to meet him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the tremendous delay. I had a hard time with this and with feeling that I'm not properly capturing Cat's voice. Hopefully I'm not doing a terrible job!

Chapter Twelve

As it turned out, saying that she would stay and actually staying after Cat had left for the office on Monday, were two entirely different things. Kara didn't want to leave. She was afraid to go out into the world and possibly encounter someone from LordTech, or, worse yet, accidentally hurt some innocent person. But being at the penthouse alone brought its own difficulties.

She watched the television news channels, but constantly worried that there would be a story about an escaped Alpha. Cat had an extensive library, and Kara tried reading, but her thoughts wandered to uncomfortable memories. Without Cat at the penthouse, another heartbeat to concentrate on, another voice to counter the doubts in her head, Kara's anxiety was almost crippling. She insisted on keeping the penthouse clean and cooking dinner every evening, despite Cat telling her it was totally unnecessary, but most of the day was spent in her room looking out the window and wondering alternately about Cat and her sister Alex.

When Cat came home, however, Kara was flooded with relief. She always glossed over her daytime activities in favor of asking Cat the details of her day. Cat seemed to welcome the chance to vent or replay scenes from her office. It gave her a chance to reflect on and really think about various arguments and decisions or problems she'd faced. It was definitely cheaper than therapy.

As pleasant as it was to have someone so interested in the minutiae of her workday, however, Cat didn't fail to notice that Kara was becoming more nervous and less open to any friendly overtures. Assuming that the other woman was becoming bored and stir-crazy being cooped up in the penthouse, Cat offered to buy anything that might be of interest to Kara. She had seen little doodles Kara had drawn on paper napkins in the kitchen, and suggested simple art supplies. There had been a flash of something, memory or pain or fear, but Kara had ended up shaking her head at the idea. Cat had brought home a black moleskine notebook, with its cool feeling cover and smooth blank pages, telling Kara that she could use it to write down her thoughts if she didn't want to share them. Two days later it was still sitting on the living room coffee table, untouched. Once, she had even brought up the possibility of taking a walk outside once the sun had gone down, but Kara's expression of terror had stopped Cat from even finishing the thought.

That was the night that Cat discovered for certain that Kara did still have the ability to speak. The Kryptonian woke her at three a.m. screaming in a language Cat couldn't understand.

She raced across the hall and threw back the lock, but Kara had locked it from the inside as well, and Cat had to pound and kick at the door while calling out for the woman. When the screaming from inside finally stopped, and the door cracked open a few moments later, it was all Cat could do not to barge in and pull Kara into a hug before shaking her and telling her that she needed to keep trying to push past whatever mental barriers had been erected, or their arrangement was not going to work.

But a look into that pale face with the haunted eyes always stopped even her stubborn impatience. She had told Kara that things weren't going to improve overnight, and she needed to remember that herself.

After two more nights of pre-dawn nightmares, Cat is exhausted and Kara has retreated even further into herself.

She knows that Cat wants and expects her to start sharing what plagues her mind while she sleeps, or to at least start acting more normal around the penthouse, in the vague hope that truth will follow actions. She knows she's oversimplifying Cat's expectations, but she also knows that the woman's son is returning home in another two days, and introducing him to a unstable and possibly dangerous Alpha - her - is not what Cat was planning.

Sitting in her room, Kara has thought of her nightmares, thought of her memories, and part of her wanted to share her pain with someone who could sympathize and tell her that it would all be okay, but it was too raw and too extreme. Her nightmares often centered on her last hours on Krypton and the destruction of her planet. How could she expect Cat to understand that? While in LordTech's custody, she hadn't dreamt. At least she hadn't remembered her dreams. She supposed that just staying alive took all of her physical and mental effort. Dreams - even nightmares - were a luxury she hadn't been granted.

It is the morning after the third nightmare when Kara rises early and waits for Cat in the kitchen. She doesn't want to have this conversation, but she needs to be honest.

Cat looks startled to see the younger blonde when she walks into the kitchen. Kara has even made coffee, and there is a cup waiting, steam rising in curling tendrils. Cat accepts it with a raised eyebrow before sitting on one of the high stools that run along one side of the island. She sips carefully. Her makeup is already done, lipstick a perfect complement to the plum colored Givenchy skirt suit she is wearing. She inclines her head just slightly, waiting for Kara to come out with whatever has inspired this early morning meeting.

Kara's lower lip is firmly between her teeth and the worry wrinkle between her eyebrows is sharply defined.

 _"Your son comes home in three days_ ," she signed.

"Carter. Yes, he's back Friday night."

The way Kara folded her hands in her lap, and stared down at them conveyed more than any words.

"Well, I'm glad to see you aren't asking where I'm planning to send you," Cat said archly, knowing that was precisely what was going through Kara's mind.

Deep blue eyes shot up to look at her questioningly.

"Of course I'm not sending you anywhere. Haven't I told you that already? Numerous times? Are we really going to have this conversation every time things aren't going perfectly?"

Kara shrugged helplessly. It wasn't just that she expected Cat to ship her off, she honestly felt that would probably be for the best.

Cat rubbed the bridge of her nose, delicate painted nails a contrast to her pale skin. She sighed loudly before speaking again.

"I'll admit that since leaving you to go to the office, you seem to have... Well, I suppose that's to be expected. I had thought that you would enjoy the time alone, but obviously it just gave you too much time to dwell on things. Dwelling on things never helps, Kara. We can only move forward with intention, and that is what you are going to do."

Kara cocked her head to one side, looking surprisingly and adorably puppy-like as she contemplated Cat's words.

 _"But what am I going to do?"_ she finally signed. " _I can't work. I can't see people. My old life is gone."_

"You're right, and I'm not going to argue about that. But you are starting a new life and you will go out and work and be with people again. You'll start small, but you'll get there."

Another shrug and long fingers tracing patterns on the marble countertop.

"And as for being alone all day, that won't be a problem starting next week."

_"Why? How?"_

"I've given Carter's nanny a well-deserved leave of absence and you will be watching him instead."

Seeing where this was going before Cat had even finished speaking, Kara shook her head and waved her hands in front of herself.

_"No! I was just going to lock myself into my room while he's awake. It's not a problem."_

Cat scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes. "So you're planning to trade one cell for another? I think not."

" _It's not safe, and he doesn't know me, and I don't think children like me..."_

"Do you think I would suggest it if I didn't think it was safe? You think I would endanger my son?" Cat spoke almost harshly, then reined herself in off Kara's suddenly cowed expression and shaking head. "Carter will be going to a special astronomy camp for the first part of the day and my driver will take him and pick him up. He will be home at two and I will try not to be any later than six. I trust that you can keep him alive for four hours."

With lips tightly pressed together, Kara could only nod.

Gentling her tone further, Cat reached across the counter very slowly, giving Kara plenty of time to retreat, and then she laid her hand over the other woman's.

"You're going to be fine, Kara. If you can't trust yourself, then trust me."

Kara pulled her hand back but only so that she could sign to Cat.

" _I've been looking at the Internet,_ " she started _slowly. "The other Alpha that Doctor tried to rehabilitate... She hurt him. She destroyed the house. She..."_

"She had been a prisoner in that alien prison ship," Cat cut in. "And she had been controlled by Cadmus for years. She had a lot of damage to overcome. She had never lived a normal life on Earth. You have. You know what you are aiming for. LordTech took two years from you, but they are not taking any more."

Kara's lips twisted into a doubtful expression, but she didn't contradict the other woman. Cat decided to take that as acquiescence and stood up to put her cup into the sink.

"Try to think of what you want. Anything. Well, within reason," Cat corrected herself. "And we'll talk about it, and find a way to make it work."

She didn't say anything else, and Kara just watched as Cat gathered her things with practiced motions and left the penthouse with the faint scent of her perfume lingering in the air.

The days between that conversation and Friday slipped away with an almost familiar ease. Kara forced herself to spend more time on the balcony reading and less time in her room looking for stories about Alphas on the Internet. She and Cat had dinner together each evening and Cat tried to steer the conversation away from uncomfortable topics. Kara's nightmares even stopped for a couple of nights, leading Cat to boast that she had been right about the other woman just needing to settle in.

The other thing that remained constant was the short sessions in the living room where Cat and Kara would take turns giving and receiving gentle touches. Kara was getting slightly better about letting Cat's soft fingers trace patterns on her palms, but she still flinched at first contact every time. When that happened, she would inevitably frown, afraid of being a disappointment, but Cat always had a soothing word to smooth things over.

All the soothing words in the world couldn't keep Kara from being a nervous wreck on Friday afternoon. Carter was due home at five, and Cat had even taken the afternoon off to be sure that she would be there for his arrival.

" _Are you going to tell him what I am?"_ Kara had asked that morning.

"Carter is a very astute boy and I don't lie to him," Cat had replied. "Yes, I'll explain who you are and then answer any questions he has."

She had tapped her manicured nails on the counter as she spoke, a nervous habit that proved she wasn't quite as confident about the upcoming meeting as she portrayed, but when Kara had pointed it out, she had merely rolled her eyes and tightened her fingers into a fist.

"Don't read so much into things, Kara. Everything will go fine."

Sadly, those words did nothing to allay Kara's fears and when she heard the announcement form the doorman saying that Carter was on his way up, she practically jumped through the open balcony doors.

"For goodness' sake, calm down," Cat demanded, sounding more stern than she ever had towards the younger woman.

When Kara nodded briskly, Cat let out a long breath and tried to relax her tense shoulders. Time away from Carter was always trying for her, and there were always things she worried about upon his return. Did her ex have any women over? Did they understand that Carter wasn't fond of changes to routine? Did he try to convince Carter to go live with him? Was he properly fed and taken care of? Explaining Kara's presence was just one more - albeit large - thing to think about.

A few minutes later, the doorknob was rattling and Cat rushed to swing open the door and greet her son.

"Carter! I missed you! Did you have a good time?" that last was said with a touch less enthusiasm, but she had to play the part of generous ex-spouse.

"It was great, Mom," the tousle-haired pre-teen replied.

He looked only slightly uncomfortable with the hugs being bestowed upon him, and the quirky smile hinting about his lips showed that he was actually more than okay with the affection. Kara watched from the middle of the living room, twisting her hands in front of herself and noting that Carter looked like a sweet boy who loved his mother, and Cat looked like the perfect doting mom.

"Well come in, come in," Cat ushered him through the door and took the handle of his rolling suitcase while he dropped his over full backpack with an audible thump. "I assume your father didn't do your laundry, so we can just take your bag right into the laundry room."

"No, no, actually he did have a friend over a couple of times and she did my laundry yesterday," Carter muttered.

"Oh he did?" Cat said through a tight smile. She hated when her ex paraded women by her son without telling her about it. Of course he would probably claim that taking in a stray Alpha was a far bigger offense, but she wasn't going to think about that.

"Yeah, she was nice enough," Carter said in what was an obvious effort to defuse the situation. "She didn't cook like you though. I missed your lasagne."

Cat smiled a genuine smile then as she wrapped an arm around Carter's shoulders.

"You're in luck then, because that is what is in the oven right now."

Carter joined her in smiling and the two stepped back from the entry way and towards the living room. That was when Carter saw Kara, with her hands still nervously twisting and her lips pursed into a nervous half-frown.

"Who's she?" Carter asked bluntly, some of the exuberance fading from his expression.

Cat took a few steps towards Kara and motioned towards her, saying, "This is Kara. She's going to be our guest for a little while as she goes through some changes in her life."

She tried to look as upbeat and positive as possible, and Carter walked over to the two of them, extending his hand when he stood before Kara.

"Nice to meet you," he said politely, if stiffly.

Kara hesitated in taking his hand, but Cat's look urged her to do so, and she reached out and gently clasped the smaller hand within her own.

"Oh my God!" Carter said in hushed awe. He pointed to Kara's wrist, where the LordTech logo was prominently branded. "Is she an Alpha? Are you an Alpha fighter?" he excitedly asked, turning from his mother to Kara and back again.

"Well, Carter, not..."

"I know all about the Alpha fights now!" Carter exclaimed.

"You what?" Cat snapped trying to hide her anger while Kara shrank back a step. "You know I've forbidden you to watch any of that on television."

"Yeah, but Dad says it's not so bad," Carter insisted. "He says it's no worse than professional wrestling. And mom, some of the aliens are amazing, and the way they fight... I even have a few magazines. I know all the popular fighter's names now, but I don't recognize her," Carter continued as he raced back to his backpack and started pawing through it, running back with a fistful of glossy rag magazines.

"Carter, I don't think now is the time... Let me just explain..." Cat tried to be patient as her gaze flicked from her excited son to the woman beside her who looked half a breath from a panic attack.

"Just look, Mom," he said as he thrust them towards her and she took them into her hands, crumpling them as she did so. "But how come she's here? All the Alphas are supposed to be really dangerous if they aren't in the ring. They have all sorts of ways to keep them from escaping, but I guess they all started out as criminals or something..."

"Carter!"

Instantly, Carter stopped his enthusiastic rambling and his eyes, along with Kara's, focused on Cat's face.

"What is it, Mom?" he said in a more subdued voice.

Cat let out an aggrieved sigh and rubbed the back of her neck.

"Carter, there are reasons I've told you that I don't like those Alpha fights. They aren't right. It's not right to make people fight each other, and you know that some of those fights end in death. Is that really something you want to see?"

"But they are aliens, not people, mom - "

"Enough!" Cat's tone was one step down from a shout. "Does Kara look like she would hurt you? Does she look like someone who deserves to be forced to fight? To be hurt? To hurt someone else?"

Carter glanced at the younger blonde who had her arms wrapped around her body and looked on the verge of tears.

"Noooooo..." he drew out the word as he studied her, "but they say they're all prisoners and they volunteer," he tried to explain.

"Not everything you hear is the truth, Carter. Kara never volunteered for anything, and she was never on that prison ship. She was taken away from her family just because she is an alien who used her powers and was spotted. She was... mistreated..." Cat hedged, not wanting to go into it all, "and now she is here and trying to get her life back."

"Okay," Carter said quietly, "but why here? How did she find you?"

"Kara saved my life when I was being mugged in the park," Cat said, deciding that the truth was not only the best answer but might also incite some sympathy. "She was badly hurt doing that and I brought her back here to heal and, well, decided that she should stay for a while."

Mention of his mother's life being in danger definitely made an impression, as Carter's face lost some of its color, and he moved closer to her.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't know all that."

"Yes, well, now you do. Maybe you should apologize to Kara. She doesn't find anything 'cool' about the fights or the people who hurt her."

As Carter turned and walked over to Kara, the other woman had to force herself not to bolt back down the hall and into her room. This was not the introduction she had expected and the wash of memories along with the knowledge that so many people thought the Alpha fights were merely entertainment made her feel helpless and hopeless.

"I'm really sorry, Kara. I had no idea that some of the fighters didn't want to be there," Carter said, scuffing the toe of one sneaker along the carpet.

He looked suitably chastened, but Cat knew she was going to need to have a proper conversation with him about everything. She was also going to have words - angry words - with her ex-husband.

It took a few seconds for Kara to pull her emotions back, and she tried to relax her tense muscles as she signed a very small, " _It's okay._ "

"She says it's okay," Cat translated when Carter looked to her with surprise on his face. "Kara doesn't speak. Perhaps you would like to learn some sign language, Darling."

"But she can hear?"

"Yes," Cat replied as Kara nodded. Then Cat sighed before answering the unasked question. "She doesn't talk because of some things that happened to her when she was at LordTech Alpha training," she said, trying and mostly failing to keep the venom out of her voice as she mentioned that evil place.

Carter looked even more ashamed as he turned kind eyes to Kara. "I'm really, really sorry, Kara," he told her sincerely.

Being unfamiliar with people apologizing to her, Kara merely gave a small shrug and what she hoped was a friendly, if tiny, smile.

"If you have a sign language book or something, maybe you could show me?" he asked.

Looking from Carter to Cat, and seeing nothing but acceptance on both faces, Kara nodded slowly.

" _I have one in my room,_ " she signed and Cat didn't have to translate because she turned to point down the hall and Carter picked up on her meaning.

"Great, let's go," he said, some of his former enthusiastic spirt returning as he jogged down the hall ahead of her.

Kara glanced at Cat again, unsure about whether the protective mother would want her son in such close proximity to an Alpha without being right beside him.

"Well, go ahead, Kara. You don't want to keep him waiting," Cat told her as if it was the most obvious suggestion ever.

The smile on Kara's face reached her eyes then, and she turned to follow Carter, wondering at the trust this woman was bestowing upon her.

  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carter and Kara become closer, but nothing is ever easy, especially with Maxwell Lord still planning things that spell disaster for the aliens on Earth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Kara will have another bit of a breakdown here, and I feel it may seem repetitive, but at the same time I think it's somewhat necessary. She isn't going to recover from two years of torture overnight. However, this should be the last major incident for a while.
> 
> Comments make me happy and increase my motivation to continue!
> 
> Also, I apologize for dating this ahead, but it ended up on the third page the instant I first posted it for some weird reason, and I was afraid no one would ever see it!

Chapter Thirteen

While Carter seemed to warm up to Kara fairly quickly, the Kryptonian was a bit more hesitant. She flinched away when Carter brushed her arm while reaching over to point to something in her book. She nodded or shook her head politely in response to his questions, and demonstrated signs for him, smiling when he repeated them back correctly. She thought he was a sweet and charming boy, despite his initial reaction towards her. And she was absolutely petrified being alone in a room with him.

Being with Cat was one thing. Cat knew her limitations, knew her fears, knew her strength and capability for violence. Carter? Since hearing that Kara hadn't wanted to an Alpha, he acted as if she was simply a distant relative staying over for a few days. He wasn't afraid to laugh loudly when Kara made a face over his mangled approximation of the word "school". He bumped his shoulder with hers, conspiratorially, after suggesting that they sneak in a game MarioKart while waiting for his mom to announce dinner. When Cat did call them, he jumped up and then reached down to grab Kara's hand and tug her after him.

It was all Kara could do not to bolt to her room, slam the door and lock it.

When Cat saw her face as Carter led the two of them into the dining room, she knew exactly what was going through the younger woman's mind.

"Carter, I forgot the bread and the Parmesan cheese," she said, "come into the kitchen and help me get it."

Of course Kara knew that Cat could easily carry both of those things herself. She didn't mean to listen in, but her hearing was one of the things she had the least amount of control over when she was feeling stressed.

"Honey," Cat said, once they were out of the room, "it looks like you and Kara are getting along fine."

"Sure, Mom. She's okay. She sucks at MarioKart, but she's really patient teaching me sign language."

"I'm sure she is," Cat replied, thinking of how gentle the other woman had always tried to be around her. "But you know, Carter, she's just come from a very bad situation, and it might be a good idea to give her a little more space."

"Space? You mean, not hang out with her?"

"No, no, not that - I mean unless it seems like she's needing her own quiet time. I mean more like not grabbing her hand unexpectedly, or shaking her shoulders like you always do when you're trying to distract me when we're playing that ridiculous video game," she explained, poking him in the belly to draw a smile.

"You only call it ridiculous, because you always lose," he countered. "But, I think I understand. You think she'd hurt me or something?" he asked tentatively.

"No," Cat said firmly. "No, I don't. But I think it's something she is very afraid of doing, and we want to try to make her feel comfortable, not scared, right?"

"Right, Mom," Carter agreed with a quick nod. "She's not... She's not what I expected when I first saw that mark on her arm," he continued, voice growing quiet and just a bit ashamed.

"No, I don't expect she is," Cat said with a sigh. "That's part of her life isn't who she is at all, and I - well, we - are going to help her get back to who she really is, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan," he said brightly.

"Good, now we'd better get back in there with the bread and cheese before Kara eats the whole lasagne. She has a very healthy appetite," Cat joked.

"Mom?" Carter stopped her just as she'd reached the kitchen doorway.

"Yes, honey?"

"What about... I mean... what do you think about the rest of the Alpha fighters? Do you think there are more that are like Kara?" he asked in a very small voice.

This was not something she had planned on talking to Carter about. He was a child, and she didn't want to burden him with more knowledge than he needed, but he had asked, and it wasn't in her to lie.

"I think there's a good chance, yes. And even if there aren't, it still isn't something I agree with."

"Yeah, I think I feel the same way."

Cat didn't say anything, but she reached out and ruffled his hair before laying a gentle hand on his shoulder and guiding him out of the kitchen.

In the dining room, Kara was sitting very still, with her eyes focused on her plate. When Cat cleared her throat and Kara looked up, there was a damp look to her eyes, and Cat knew she had heard everything.

"I think we have everything now," Cat announced, putting the bread on the table right beside Kara's plate.

She sat down and smiled at Kara.

"You will love my lasagne," she told her, as if she didn't know that the woman had been listening in.

Kara did love it, but Carter had frequent questions during the meal, which meant putting down her fork in order to sign a response. The questions were innocent enough, and often followed a question Cat had asked of him. What movies did he see with his father? Did he visit any museums? What was his favorite activity? After his first question about recent movies received a "nothing lately" and down turned eyes as a response, he remembered that Kara hadn't been living a normal life and changed his questions accordingly. What was her favorite movie? Did she like art? History? Science? Did she have any hobbies?

They were things Cat was suddenly eager to know herself, having tried to draw the younger woman out with somewhat limited success. Carter's youthful enthusiasm was apparently harder for Kara to resist. It was almost startling to hear that Kara's favorite movie was "Imagine Me and You", she loved visiting museums, had graduated with a degree in bioengineering like her sister, and used to spend her free time painting.

They were answers that could have come from any woman her age, and further impressed upon Cat just how depraved Maxwell Lord had been to take this kind, intelligent person and try to remove all trace of free-will while turning her into a killer. They were answers that made Cat realize that there was so much more she wanted to know about Kara beyond just helping her get her life back.

All of those questions, however, were preventing Kara from eating, and Cat saw that and gently cleared her throat.

"Carter, perhaps you could ask Kara your questions after she finishes eating," she said, making a vague motion with her hands.

"Oh! Right! Sorry," the boy said, looking embarrassed.

Kara returned his sheepish smile and then glanced over at Cat, meeting her eyes gratefully. The meal continued with more conversation between mother and son. If Cat surreptitiously scooped an additional serving onto Kara's plate, no one made mention of it.

Later, after helping Carter some more with his signing, and watching a movie as if she was just a visiting relative, Kara slid between the soft sheets on her bed and let herself relax and her mind wander. She turned off her light and looked out the window, seeing the pale moon still making its way up and over the sky of National City. Lights in the distance flickered and glowed, hinting at the outline of buildings. She could just make out the Bay Bridge suspension bridge. The bridge she had narrowly avoided destroying when she had saved her sister's plane from a fiery crash.

She shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut, willing away that memory and all that followed. Instead she thought of the boy sleeping a few doors down. Their introduction had been less than ideal, but he had quickly shown himself to be a sweet and sensitive child. He looked at her without a hint of fear, and it was new and unexpected and surprisingly comforting. If he trusted her... More importantly, if Cat trusted her around him... Then she couldn't be beyond all hope. Slipping down further under the blankets, and resting her head on the pillow, Kara tried to concentrate on those thoughts as she felt herself drifting off to sleep.

Of course it wasn't that easy. Things were never that easy. In the middle of the night, Cat was jolted from a deep sleep by the sound of Kara's tortured screams, and she hurried out of her room and across the hall, banging on the door. Carter joined her there a few moments later, bleary-eyed and frightened.

"What's wrong? What's happening to her?"

"She's just having a nightmare, Carter. Go back to bed."

He blinked, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes and his head and watched his mother, silk robe hastily pulled around her body, slender hand slamming against the wooden door.

"You lock her in?" he said, noticing the lock high on the door.

Cat sighed, really not wanting to have this conversation in a dimly lit hallway in the middle of the night, with a hysterical alien woman on the other side of the door.

"She insisted, Carter. She was afraid of sleep walking," she said, and left it at that, unwilling to say anything more about Kara's fears of hurting people.

"Kara!" she called out again, turning her attention back to the door. "Wake up!"

And then as abruptly as it had started, the screaming stopped, leaving silence ringing in their ears. A minute later, both Grants heard the lock on the other side of the door being turned, and then the door cracked open, revealing Kara's pale, tear streaked face.

Without an instant of hesitation, Carter surged forward, pushing the door aside and wrapping both arms around Kara's midsection. The frightened woman barely moved, barely breathed, he hands up and away from his body, her eyes wide as she stared first at him and then at Cat.

Cat had startled when Carter had first moved, not knowing what to expect and finding herself momentarily afraid for him, but those feelings had disappeared almost instantly. The look on Kara's face had told her everything she needed to know. Alpha or not, Kara would never harm her son.

"It's okay, Kara," Carter murmured, his head against her chest. "You're safe here, okay? Mom isn't going to let anything bad happen to you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what happened. I'm sorry for the stuff I said to you. I didn't know..."

He rambled on, and with every word, Kara felt her muscles weakening, the horrible 'fight or flight' adrenaline fading away to leave only exhaustion in its wake. Her arms came down around him, with only a second of fearful hesitation before she patted him carefully on the back. Cat had to blink very fast to hold back the emotion at seeing something so tender and real. She sucked in a sharp breath and swallowed hard.

Carter seemed to sense that Kara had relaxed, and he pulled away slightly and looked up at her.

"I used to have nightmares too," he told her. "Not as bad as yours, but Mom's hugs always made me feel better."

Kara knew that more tears were pooling in her eyes, but she gave a weak little smile and then looked up at Cat, hoping that she wouldn't see fear or horror on her face.

"Carter's right," Cat said as she stepped closer and held out one hand, wondering if Kara would take it. "He had some bad nights for a while. We got through those, and we'll get through these."

With a sniffle, Kara blinked back some tears, while others escaped, but she was smiling wider as she reached out and let her cool fingers be enveloped in Cat's warm hand.

The three of them soon retreated to their own rooms, but for the first time, Cat did not hear the lock clicking into place on Kara's door. She left the higher outside lock unlocked, and smiled to herself as she walked into her bedroom.

When morning came, the night's activities were not mentioned, and breakfast was a cheerful affair, with Carter eager to talk about his upcoming camp, and then excited to hear that Kara would be watching him in the afternoons.

What had started out as a tentative experiment became a comfortable routine in a surprisingly short amount of time. Cat explained to Carter that Kara did not want to leave the penthouse and that it would not be safe for her to do so. He didn't seem to mind in the least. He was able to see his friends at camp in the morning and was eager to spend time with Kara in the afternoons.

There were, of course, a few awkward moments. Times when he asked questions that cut too close to the bone, or brought back memories of a childhood long-suppressed. Kara kept her reactions to a minimum, but the pain was written across her face. Those subjects were carefully avoided in the future, and the pair of them were becoming fast friends by the end of the week.

Cat watched the developing relationship with a small sense of jealousy which she tried hard to squash. She was happy that Kara was comfortable with her son. Of course it was natural that the younger woman would find it easier to relax and be trusting around the guileless boy. Cat knew that her own manner was intimidating at the best of times, and combined with the fact that Kara no doubt continued to fear a return to LordTech or expulsion to the wider world despite every assurance that neither would ever happen... Well it was hardly surprising that Kara would continue to be somewhat reticent around her, as if forever on her 'best behavior' or avoid punishment. Cat could only hope that more time would eventually remedy that.

The week of camp was going to be followed by only one more before the start of the new school year, and Cat had long since planned to take it as vacation and go to the beach house for the last days of summer. Her impromptu vacation days following Kara's arrival had only put the slightest crimp in that plan. She would be taking some work with her and sitting in on a few conference calls, but honestly that might have been the case even if she had never encountered Kara in the park that night.

It had taken some convincing to get Kara to join them at the beach. She had started by insisting that she would be fine alone at the penthouse, but Cat had flatly refused to consider that, and Carter's pleading voice had been quite convincing. They would leave on Sunday night, late. Cat would drive, and no one would see Kara leaving the penthouse or arriving at the beach house. It still made Kara feel uneasy, but she had agreed after Carter had looked up at her with puppy-dog eyes.

Saturday would be the last night at the penthouse, and therefore the last night for video games, because Cat refused to have anything but the most basic electronics at the beach house. With that being the case, Carter was determined to get in every last minute of game time that he could, and he insisted that his mother play alongside him.

Sitting on the sofa, Kara thought that the scene before her was sweetly domestic and she almost felt like an intruder into their carefully formed relationship. She knew that Carter had taken a particular interest in her, and she did welcome his friendship, but she didn't want to take anything from Cat, and worried that the woman could begin to resent her. She was happy then, to watch mother and son laughing and playing together; a tender scene that reminded her of evenings spent in Midvale with Alex and Eliza.

The balcony doors were open and a gentle summer breeze wafted in. Cat was usually loathe to turn off the air conditioning and submit herself to the warmer natural air, but she had caught Kara opening up her window and drawing in deep lungfulls and slipping out onto the balcony while she and Carter played board games on the living room floor. It made her remember just how stifled the other woman must have felt for two long years, trapped in a windowless bunker. Allowing in the slightly humid city air seemed a very small concession to make towards Kara's happiness.

It was nearing quarter past eleven when Cat finally declared that Carter needed to get to bed. Bedtime was somewhat lax these days, but she knew that he would be grumpy and irritable in the morning if he didn't get enough sleep, and his internal clock seemed to wake him by seven a.m. no matter how late he had stayed up the night before.

Kara signed a good night to him, and he replied in kind, having gotten surprisingly good at understanding sign language over the past week. She gave him a small smile and a wave as well, while Cat urged him down the hall ahead of her, knowing that he would stall for ages if she didn't herd him to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Cat had switched the television over from video games to the local news station, and now Kara watched it with interest, always feeling like she was playing catch-up with current events. There was a story about a fire down in the warehouse district, and then a human interest story about a pod of dolphins off the bay that followed a tour boat around for an hour. Cat was just walking back into the living room when an exclusive interview with Maxwell Lord flashed onto the screen.

Kara let out gasp and Cat rushed over to the sofa, gaze shifting from the blonde to television and then staying with the image of Maxwell Lord and a pretty-faced reporter who never would have made anchor on CatCo News.

"So tell us, Mr. Lord, what is this new development in the Alpha program?"

"Well, Lindsey, as you know, up until now the program has been limited to escaped convicts from the Fort Rozz alien prison, and the US prison system. As far as entertainment value, I'm sure you know about the ratings and the millions we've made through merchandise - much of which has been donated to charity," he inserted with a smarmy grin.

"Yes, the fights are currently vying for first place in the Nielsens."

"True," Lord said, faking a look of modesty. "But I have always dreamed of turning it into something more, something that would truly benefit mankind. And now, thanks to a newly instituted test program with the US military, that will be possible. Select Alphas will be special trained and fitted with neurotransmitters that can effectively control them and ensure that they are, in effect, super soldiers."

"Wow. That sounds very ambitious."

"Yes, well, more importantly, it could help prevent the loss of HUMAN lives, and if it is successful, I am going to propose that we search out those aliens who are living among us, those who may not have escaped from Fort Rozz but who can still do grievous harm. If we can put all of them through the Alpha testing phase, we can determine which of them should be detained for further training."

Cat couldn't stand to hear anymore, and reached over to snatch the remote from the arm of the sofa and click the television off.

"Bastard," she muttered before turning to Kara.

The look in the other woman's eyes froze her in her place. Those gentle blue eyes were staring, unseeing, at the blank screen while her expression morphed into a rictus of terror. Cat tried to speak to her, but the instant she opened her mouth, Kara was shaking and backing away, tripping over the coffee table and letting out a scream.

Cat stepped forward, and Kara screamed again and crawled backward before turning over and gathering her legs under herself to sprint down the hallway to her room. Cat ran after her, knowing that whatever Kara was thinking, whatever she was seeing, it had nothing to do with reality.

"Kara!"

Inside the room, Kara had pressed herself into the far corner, Maxwell Lord's face still in her mind's eye, limbs shaking with a cold she hadn't felt for weeks. The pounding on the door filled her ears and she covered her ears, but couldn't block it out. She could hear guards calling her, but they were calling her name instead of her number and that only petrified her more. Anything new was bad. Anything unexpected meant that something worse was about to happen. Her bed had turned into an examining table before her eyes. She mindlessly upended it, knocking over the lamp with a crash, and denting the wall. The dresser-turned-medical-equipment-table was the next thing to fall, tilted on its side in front of the door, Kara's cries and labored breaths punctuating ever action. She saw the chair, a hard stool in the corner, and went to hurl it across the room.

Her fingers met soft upholstery and she blinked, tears obscuring her vision, but the floral pattern on the chair floating into view. The chair. Cat's chair. With the pillow she had often held to her chest as she looked out the window on long afternoons alone. Another cry tore from her throat and she backed away from the chair, hitting the wall and then seeing the bathroom door and running, skidding across tiles and stumbling into the tub, curled in on herself with her hands over her head, mind trying to make sense of what was happening.

Carter had heard the commotion and Cat had to physically restrain him to keep him from trying to push his way into Kara's room.

"No! Carter, no! She's not herself right now. You can't help her when she's like this."

"We have to do something!" he shouted back. "We can't just leave her in there!"

He was right and Cat knew it, but she also knew that if Kara accidentally hurt either one of them then she would never forgive herself and would quite possibly turn herself over to Maxwell Lord as penance for her perceived crime.

It was only a moment before she knew who she needed to call, and she had her ever-present cell phone out and up to her ear a few seconds later.

"James. I need you over here right now. Right. Now."

He didn't question her. He barely said a word other than to confirm he was on his way.

He beat his previous time getting to her penthouse.

"She's in her room," Cat explained as she filled him in while leading him down the hall. "It's been quiet for a while now, but I'm afraid of what she may have done to herself."

James nodded and motioned for her and Carter to step back as he tried the door. It wasn't locked, but was clearly blocked and he put his shoulder against it and pushed with all his strength. It took several tries and he was winded by the time the door was open enough for anyone to get through.

"Let me in," Cat said as she tried to brush past him.

"No way. I'll check it out and see where she is. You called me here for a reason, and I may not be as strong as her, but I'm a damn sight stronger than you."

There was a stern look in his eyes that Cat was unused to seeing directed at her, but she gave a little wave and motioned for him to go ahead. He disappeared into the darkened room, but was back again less than a minute later.

"What? What is it? Is she hurt?" Carter asked, having flatly refused to go back to his room.

"I don't think she's hurt. She trashed the room and she's curled up in the bathtub. I'm not sure if she's awake or not."

"I'm coming in," Cat stated with a firmness that dared anyone to challenge her.

James backed up to let her in, but blocked the door again when Carter tried to follow.

"No way, buddy. Not gonna happen," he said when Carter glared at him.

"James," Cat said, turning back to him, "Can you try to put the furniture back while I see to her?"

The tall man looked uneasy at the prospect of letting Cat go into the bathroom alone, but he nodded and started pushing the dresser back into its place against the wall.

There was a dim night-light plugged into an outlet above the sink in the bathroom, and it cast long shadows across the floor as Cat stepped inside. She could clearly see Kara's long blonde hair, tousled and hanging down her back and over her shoulders.

"Kara?" she whispered hesitantly.

There as little movement besides the steady motion from Kara's breathing, and Cat wondered if she was unconscious.

"Kara, can you hear me? It's Cat. You're here in my home. In your room. And you're safe. No one is coming for you. No one is going to hurt you again."

Cat felt her words growing louder and tinged with the anger she felt towards that bastard Lord, and she took a deep breath before continuing.

"Just let me know if you understand. Kara?"

Almost a minute passed and Cat was about to turn and leave the room, unwilling to disturb the other woman if she had actually passed out following her mental trauma. Then there was some slight movement, the patterns from the light changing as Kara shifted and rolled to her side and then slowly pushed herself into a hunched seated position.

Cat knelt down beside the tub and placed one hand on the edge.

"Are you all right?" she asked gently. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Kara shook her head, eyes sad and expression forlorn.

" _You know I can't really be hurt,_ " she signed.

"Maybe not, but I still wanted to be sure," Cat replied.

" _Did I... hurt anyone? You? Carter?_ " Kara signed, fingers fumbling over some of the words.

"No! No, you didn't hurt anyone. You just pushed around some furniture. I don't even think you broke anything besides a lamp, and I always hated that lamp. That's why I kept it in this room," Cat said with a wry little smile.

" _But I scared you."_

"We were scared for you, not of you," Cat corrected her.

They sat quietly for another minute before Cat spoke again.

"What happened, Kara?"

" _I - I don't know. I saw his face... I saw it and I was back there._ " she shook her head to clear the vision of her past. " _I could feel the cold floor and the damp air. I could see the exam room they used to bring me to."_

She shuddered and Cat dared to reach out and grasp her hand tightly.

"Shh. Stop. Don't say anything else. Stop thinking about it."

 _"He's going to hurt more people,_ " Kara's hands moved slowly, almost painfully.

"Well he's not going to hurt you, Kara. And I'm not going to let his plan take place without a fight. There's a reason he didn't call my station to give them the exclusive. He knows how I feel. It's time I make sure everyone else knows as well."

Kara looked far less certain about that idea, but she made no reply, and instead let her eyes fall to their joined hands. Cat noticed and gave a small squeeze.

"See? You let me do this. After all of that, you are still getting better. You're taking back your control."

Kara shook her head as if she couldn't quite believe it, but she didn't release Cat's hand.

"Are you ready to come out now?" Cat asked gently. "James has been putting your room back in order, and I know Carter won't go to sleep without seeing that you are all right."

A long, shuddery breath was Kara's response, but then she nodded her head and pushed herself to her feet, pulling Cat up with her. Cat continued to keep hold of her hand, helping her balance as she stepped out of the tub, and she didn't let go until she had to step through the narrow doorway.

The overhead light was bright in the room, and showed that the actual damage to the room had been minimal. A couple of dents in the wall, and a chip off the corner of the dresser. James had even straightened the sheets and blankets on the bed. Kara looked around in surprise, just grateful that what she had done physically could be so easily rectified. She wasn't sure if her new friendship with Carter would be so un-blemished.

A curly head peering around the doorframe seemed to give her an answer. James appeared beside him and tried to give an understanding smile to his old friend's cousin.

"He heard you guys moving around," James said. "His hearing may be as good as yours, Kara."

The attempt at levity fell a little flat, simply because Kara was only concentrating on the expression on Carter's face. He was looking at her with wide eyes and a look of such concern across his young features. It stole her breath away to see that concern directed at her.

"Are you okay, Kara?" he asked worriedly.

 _"I'm fine_ ," she signed to him. " _Your mom helped._ "

Carter looked over at Cat and gave her a full, beautiful smile.

"She's good like that," he said.

" _Very good,"_ Kara agreed.

"All right, all right," Cat interrupted, feeling that Kara needed to regain her bearings and rest. "Now that the excitement for the evening is over, I think it's time for bed."

Kara nodded and Carter gave a small pout before nodding as well.

"I'll see you in the morning," he said, and then turned to go to his room.

James directed another smile at Kara, saying, "I'm glad you're okay, Kara. Maybe next time we see each other, it will be under more relaxing circumstances."

 _"I hope so,_ " she signed, feeling only a little shy around this man she had only seen once before.

He walked away, leaving just Cat standing in front of Kara.

"Are you sure you will be all right tonight?" she asked.

" _Yes,_ " Kara replied. " _All of the energy has drained out of me. I think I'll sleep through the night."_

Cat wanted to touch her again; squeeze her hand, give her a comforting hug, but she knew that the woman had probably already had enough physical contact for one evening.

"Very well," she said, trying to make her formal words sound more casual. "I'll see you in the morning."

There was more she could have said, but she left it at that and went out to the living room, knowing she needed to thank James and send him on his way.

Kara watched her go, tightening the fingers of the hand Cat had so recently held. She could still feel their warmth and strength. She could also feel that her words to Cat had been the truth, and exhaustion was creeping over her. She barely made it between the sheets before falling asleep.

She didn't even notice that she hadn't locked her door.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peaceful day before Kara and the Grants head to the beach house.

Chapter Fourteen

In the morning, Cat woke, stretched across her enormous bed, the sheets in complete disarray from her restless night. Memories of Kara's expressions had haunted her dreams, and they had pulled forward feelings that Cat was unwilling to carefully examine. She had slapped the label of "protective" on them and tried to roll over and sleep, but it had taken a long time for her mind to slip into dreams. Even then, false memories of what Kara's life had been, combined with images of herself bursting in to rescue her, kept Cat from getting a true good night's sleep.

She stretched again and ran her fingers through messy curls as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She needed to wake Carter so that they could start packing and prepare for their trip. With a deep breath, she pushed off the bed and headed towards the door, grabbing her thin silk robe on the way.

It was a slight surprise when she didn't hear any movement behind Kara's door. In fact lately, it had become more usual for the other woman to be up and making coffee already, with Cat having slid back the lock on her door during an early-morning check on Carter. She had not locked it after Kara's traumatic flashback episode, and she never planned on locking it again. She paused for another second, but it was clear that Kara was still sleeping, so she continued on to Carter's room.

"Sweetheart," she whispered as she pressed her hand against the already cracked open door. "Carter?" she said a bit louder when she saw that his bed was messy but unoccupied. She quickly moved to the attached bathroom, but it was empty as well.

It wasn't unheard of for Carter to wake up early, but after the night they had all had, she had assumed he would sleep in. She walked out to the living room, fully expecting him to be playing video games again, and she froze in her steps when the room was still and vacant. A quick glance towards the door told her that the deadbolt was still locked, so he had to be in the penthouse somewhere.

Quickly she retraced her steps, giving a quick look into her office which was, as expected, empty, and then back to the bedrooms. There really was only one more place for him to be, but Cat still paused and took a breath before slowly opening Kara's door.

She first saw Kara, pillow held tightly in her arms, knees drawn up as she slept on her side facing the windows. And then there, in the corner, in that familiar arm chair, slept Carter.

The boy was curled into a small mound, with his head resting on the arm of the chair and his body squeezed onto the seat, one foot dangling to the floor. A blanket was tugged around his shoulders, and he was snoring ever so lightly. Cat didn't know when she had brought her hand to her mouth, but she pressed her fingers to her lips, vision blurring for a second before she blinked the emotion away. Her sweet, sweet boy never failed to amaze her.

She felt that she should probably wake him and let Kara have her privacy, but she considered that perhaps finding Carter there when she woke would mean more to her than privacy. With delicate steps, Cat retreated, looking one last time at her son before closing the door.

  
Later, the sunshine flooded Kara's room but she was slow to wake. The sheer physical and mental strain of the previous night had pushed her into a deeper sleep than usual, and even as she woke, her eyelids fluttered tentatively open, letting in the light in barely increasing increments. When they finally opened fully, she blinked a few times and looked around the room.

The events of the night before felt almost like a dream as she saw everything in its place, the curtains pulled back revealing the brilliant skyline. She could hear the muffled sounds of Cat in the kitchen just like every other morning, except lately she was the first one up. With a sigh and a stretch, she rolled onto her back before sitting up, and that was when she saw him.

At first she gave a slight jump of alarm, but then her heart slowed and her eyes opened wider, taking in the sight of the boy curled up on the chair. It didn't look entirely comfortable, and she could only imagine that he would have a stiff neck when he woke, but there he was, a silent little watchman.

There was a slight undercurrent of fear, as Kara considered what she might have done if a nightmare had taken hold of her, but she found herself pushing those thoughts aside with surprising speed. Deep in her mind, in her psyche, in her heart, she knew she wouldn't ever hurt Carter, even accidentally.

It was while she was staring at him that the boy began to wake, and he blinked and gave a little sound of protest as he unfolded himself and moved to sit up properly.

"Kara!" he said with happiness, as his bleary eyes blinked to full wakefulness. "You're awake!"

She nodded and a thin smile curled the corners of her lips. She motioned towards him with eyebrows raised in question.

Carter looked down at himself, the chair, the blanket, and then back up at Kara before saying, "Yeah, I kinda snuck back in once Mom went to her room. I didn't want you to wake up alone in the middle of the night."

The sweet sincerity in his voice was so touching, and so very foreign to a woman who was still adjusting to a world where no one was trying to hurt her. She knew her smile was faltering when she saw Carter's expression change to one of worry.

"I hope you don't mind. I didn't mean to disturb you or anything," he said as he rose to his feet.

" _No,_ " Kara signed quickly. " _You didn't disturb me. I don't mind._ " There was a long pause before she started moving her hands again, using simple signs to convey emotions which were much more complex. " _It was a surprise. But it made me really happy. I'm always happy when you're around."_

"Awww, thanks," he replied, looking studiously at the plush carpeting. "I'm just sorry you got so upset last night."

" _Not your fault_ ," Kara told him, and then looked a little sad as she went on with, " _I hope it didn't scare you."_

In a few strides, Carter was beside the bed and looking right into Kara's eyes.

"You don't scare me, Kara," he told her.

They looked at each other, neither moving or speaking, but numerous feelings passing between them. Then Carter seemed to snap back into pre-teen boyishness and gave a little excited hop before turning towards the door.

"I think I smell bacon!" he exclaimed, and with that, he was out the door and jogging down the hall.

Kara is left sitting in her bed and staring after the bundle of energy with a light feeling bubbling up in his chest. She dresses quickly and then heads to the kitchen. Cat and Carter are there, laughing over something Carter has said. The two of them turn as Kara's soft footfalls approach, and Cat holds out a plate loaded with eggs and bacon and wheat toast.

With a sort of stunned look on her face, Kara takes the plate and moves to the breakfast bar.

First Carter was watching over her in her room, now Cat had made breakfast without so much as a mention of the night's horrible scene. A horrible scene caused by Kara and her broken mind. She wanted to eat everything on the plate, the scent alone making her hungrier, but when she tasted it she could hardly chew. Her eyes were focused on her plate but she was thinking of the trouble she was causing for this little family she had unwittingly invaded.

"Problem?" Cat asked as she sat down next to her.

Kara set down her fork before signing, " _I'm just..."_ She sighed before trying again, " _I've caused a lot of trouble here. For you. For Carter."_

"Oh no, don't you even start," Cat said, voice turning stern, with more than a hint of her CEO persona. Kara looked at her questioningly. "I can see what you're thinking and I don't want to hear it..." she waved her hands dismissively, "or see it, or whatever. Now eat your breakfast and start packing a suitcase for the beach."

Kara just stared and Cat picked up her coffee and gave the younger woman a soft pat on the shoulder, tentative at first, but willing the other woman to accept the gentle touch.

"Getting out of the city will be good for you, Kara."

Cat didn't say anything else, just went about her routine, cleaning up the kitchen, and Kara watched her while she ate, the food seeming to gain taste again. Carter zoomed into the room a few minutes later and started asking Kara to look over some books about tide pools. He was eager to document all the creatures he could find at the beach. Cat went to her room to start packing, but she frequently checked in on Carter and Kara, joking with her son and giving encouraging looks to the blonde.

That lightness which had started coming over after seeing Carter in her room, continued to grow within Kara throughout the day. She had given the Grants every reason to fear her and want her out of their lives, but they were acting as if nothing had changed; as if she wasn't a damaged soul from another galaxy. They were accepting her despite all of her issues and she was reminded of her first months on Earth her sister, Alex, the girl who had helped make her feel a part of a family even though she had thoroughly disrupted her life.

For the past two years, thinking about Alex had only brought her pain, mental and physical, and even since arriving in National City, Kara had kept her thoughts far from her Earth sister. After lunch, while sitting on the balcony, with the sun energizing her cells, and warming her skin, she listened to the pleasant sounds of Cat and Carter packing and talking, simply being mother and son... She closed her eyes and let the memories of happier years filter back into her mind, patching up some of the broken places.

From inside the penthouse, Cat had been keeping what she hoped was a casual eye on Kara, trying not to hover, but looking outside every so often to ensure that the other woman was still there and hadn't flown off somewhere. Carter caught her once and tugged on her sleeve in a way he hadn't done since he was five.

"I don't think she'll leave, do you?" he asked.

Cat remembered a similar question back when her ex-husband had stormed off after a particularly loud argument. She had lied then, but she hoped her words now we're the truth.

"No, I don't think so. I think she just needs some rest and some time alone," Cat replied, smiling down at her son and then giving him a small shove towards his room where he was supposed to be folding his clean laundry and packing.

Clouds rolled into National City as afternoon gave way to evening, and the sunset was brilliant as it turned them purple and pink and flaming red. Kara turned when she heard the balcony doors opening and she watched as Cat stepped outside and moved to her chair, limbs moving loose and free in a way that was never present when Cat was dressed for the office.

"You've been out here for a while," she said mildly. "Not avoiding us, I hope."

She didn't want her words to bring about a defensive reaction, but she did want to make sure that Kara knew that she and Carter were perfectly comfortable being around her. If she didn't make that clear prior to driving to the beach house, then she feared they would all be in for an uncomfortably tense drive.

" _No. I'm not,"_ Kara signed, and she let her fingers move faster, flowing through the next words where she might have gone slow and simplified for Carter's benefit. " _I was just enjoying the sunshine, the air, the breeze... And remembering some things... Letting myself feel..."_

"Good things?" Cat asked, only slightly hesitant.

" _Yes, memories from before,_ " Kara told her, without needing to specify before when.

"Carter has insisted on ordering pizza for dinner and then we'll be heading out once night falls."

She looked out over her city and eased herself down onto the chair next to Kara's. It wasn't often that she allowed herself the indulgence of just looking without having a hundred other thoughts - usually revolving around work - running through her head. At the moment she let herself concentrate on the beauty of the skyline and the sunset.

"The city is beautiful," she said almost reverently. "Vital and full of energy... potential..."

" _Life,_ " Kara signed with expansive gestures.

"Yes. Life."

They were silent for another few minutes before Cat spoke again to tell the other woman, "I think you'll like the beach house. It doesn't have all this, but it is peaceful."

Kara didn't reply, and silence settled down again until Carter called out that the pizza had arrived, and then the odd little trio gathered in the dining room to eat take-out food off of porcelain plates and drink soda from crystal glasses.

Cat had spent part of the day on the phone with various service-people. She'd paid them well for opening the beach house, cleaning it, stocking it with food, making sure that everything was ready for their arrival. She didn't want to have to go out for anything, or have anyone else at the house while Kara was there. Realistically, she knew she'd be able to play off the girl's presence as a nanny for Carter or an assistant from CatCo, but she also knew that Kara would not want to see anyone. After all, the only reason she'd agreed to join them was that Cat had assured her that the house was private and that their night-time arrival meant that no one would know she was even there.

Summer was drawing to a close, but the sun still hovered in the air late into the evening, and it was after eight o'clock when Cat announced that it was time to leave. Carter gave a little whoop as he dragged his bags out of his room, and Kara followed behind him, much more sedate and carrying a bag Cat had provided. Carter was particularly excited that Cat was going to drive them rather than having her car service transport them. It meant riding in her sports car, which was a rare treat.

The jet black Ferarri was parked in a secluded spot in a corner of the high-rise's underground garage, and their footsteps echoed loudly in the cavernous space. Cat had thought of everything, including calling the building doorman and asking him to uncover the car and ensure that it was fueled and ready to go. The last time she'd driven it had been the day Carter had started his summer vacation by flying off with his father to a week in Italy. She had driven up the coast and back again, destination: nowhere. Concentrating on the speed and the scenery had helped keep her mind off missing her son.

The back seat was small, and the trunk was as well, but Carter was able to squeeze himself in, with his suitcase beside him. Cat and Kara settled their bags into the trunk and Kara reluctantly took up the passenger seat. She had told both of them that she would prefer the back seat, where she would be virtually invisible to anyone they passed. Cat had countered that unless she planned to lop her legs off at the knees, she would never fit comfortably enough to make the two hour drive.

As much as Kara had been dreading it, the drive ended up being entirely uneventful. She kept her eyes fixed on the view, and her senses tamped down to focus on the rumble of the engine and the heartbeats of her companions. As the lights of the city gave way to the suburbs and then the open freeway, winding sinuously up the coastline, she had felt a certain unexpected peace settle over her.

A few lights had been left on at the house, and it was warm and welcoming when they pulled up the long driveway. Between that long expanse of gravel, the shrubbery, the stone walls, and the iron gate, the house was impossible to see from the road. Kara climbed out of the car and turned around slowly to get her bearings, surprised that the peaceful feeling in her chest remained.

Carter had, quite predictably, fallen asleep in the back seat, half slumped over his suitcase. Cat gave a little chuckle before shaking his shoulder to rouse him. He muttered and mumbled, but finally opened his eyes and then clambered out quickly, nearly pushing Cat over and causing her to warn him not to scratch the car as he dragged his bag out behind him.

"Everything all right?" she asked Kara when she noticed the woman standing very still and just looking around at everything.

Kara nodded and then went to grab both her own bag and Cat's two suitcases. It was no effort for her to carry them all, but Cat smiled at her appreciatively nonetheless. They made their way to the door, following Carter who was making impatient noises as he waited for them to catch up.

A minute later and they were inside, the cozy home seeming to envelop them. The style was quite different from the sleek penthouse. Here the floors were a light colored wood, and the furniture was inviting; all overstuffed chairs and floral pillows with a large square coffee table that looked perfect for board games.

A stone fireplace on one wall stretched up to the ceiling, with a thick board standing in as a mantle-piece and loaded with photographs and little sentimental souvenirs from the beach. White-washed shells, jars of sea glass, smooth stones and bits of driftwood were arranged haphazardly, as if left wherever they had first been placed.

There were oversized French doors leading out back towards the beach, and a table beside them held towels and a bucket full of sandals. Kara couldn't keep from smiling when she saw a pair of bright red flip-flops that had to be Cat's. She could hardly imagine the woman who made stilettos look comfortable, in such casual footwear.

"Carter, off to bed," Cat announced, breaking Kara from her thoughts.

"But Mom, it's not even midnight."

"It's late enough, and besides, I'm exhausted and headed to bed myself."

It was true. The drive had tired her out, as had the thoughts that had run through her mind while casting occasional glances at her silent passenger. She was taking a chance having Kara out here. The change could be good for her, or it could cause another set-back, and after the previous night, she definitely did not want that. The soft look in Kara's eyes the further they got from the city, however, had helped to easy her worries. Even now, the younger woman looked relaxed and almost at home in her surroundings. It was a sight that warmed Cat in ways she couldn't quite explain.

"Come along, Kara, and I'll show you to the guest room," she said, motioning for the woman to follow her.

Kara was quick to fall into step behind her hostess, and she was beside her when Cat stopped and reached into a room off the main hall and flipped on a light inside. Kara felt a smile spreading across her face as she looked into the room. The bed was painted white and there was a quilt of cheerful floral fabrics in shades of blue and pink, yellow and lavender. The outside wall faced the ocean and there were three wide windows, already open, and the sound of the distant waves along with the smell of the warm salty air drifted inside.

Cat caught a rather ridiculous smile growing on her own face, and she pulled it back, feeling silly at being so pleased to have evidently made Kara happy. She shook her head at herself, resolved to use the next week to start her series on the Alpha fights so that Maxwell Lord could be stopped and Kara could properly move on with her life. The woman deserved her own place in the world and the longer she remained secluded and wholly under Cat's care, the harder it would be for her to venture out on her own. The small voice that said it would be hard for both of them made Cat more determined to speed up the timeline.

When Cat left rather abruptly after wishing Kara pleasant dreams, the younger woman watched her go, hoping she wasn't regretting the choice to bring her along. She pushed the thought aside as she reminded herself that Cat had been all but insistent upon her tagging along. She was probably just tired, as she'd already told Carter.

Kara walked over to the windows and looked outside. It was but a slight stretch for her to push her sight beyond human limits, and she gazed out, watching moonlight ripple upon the water and spying a distant ship drifting by, silent as the stars. Even after she was tucked into bed, just a light sheet covering her body, she kept her face towards the windows and her eyes on the waves.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surfing, sun and a breakthrough for Kara...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another chapter! What can I say? Your comments were great motivators for me. :)

Chapter Fifteen

The sound of seagulls calling, out in the distance and the gentle swishing sound of the rising tide creeping up the beach should have been the first sounds that Cat heard as she blinked awake. Rather, those were the sounds she might have heard if she hadn't been mother to an excitable boy who also happened to be a morning person - at least when mornings were spent at the beach.

So as Cat rolled over, sweeping her hand out to grab her phone and check the time, it the heavy thumping of quick footsteps and eager calls from Carter that pulled her out of bed.

"Hurry up! Tide is coming in!" he shouted, and she heard the back door in the kitchen being flung open and then slamming shut again.

Well, it was pointless to try to reel Carter back inside for breakfast, so Cat pushed the hair out of her face and dug through her suitcase in search of a relatively modest black one-piece swim suit. She changed quickly and headed down the hall, noticing that Kara's door was already open and the woman was nowhere to be seen. Her bed had already been made, and her bag was perched neatly on the chest beneath one of the windows.

Since she assumed that her son would have immediately alerted her if their guest had disappeared, she expected to find Kara in either the living room or the kitchen. Instead, she walked into the living room and saw that the French doors had been opened wide, and Kara was standing just off the porch, silhouetted against the rising sun. Her hair caught the light and seemed to glow, flowing gently down and over her shoulders. It looked as if she had changed into shorts, and with her long legs planted firmly in the sand, and her hands joined behind her back, she appeared at ease, comfortable in a way Cat had only seen a few times.

After grabbing a couple of towels from the table beside the door, Cat stepped outside, off the shaded porch and into the bright sunshine.

"It's a beautiful day," she remarked as she stepped up beside Kara.

"Yes, and you were right... It's so peaceful here," Kara signed, looked down at the woman who had given her so much help with no expectations or strings attached.

From the past weeks spent reading, looking at the Internet and watching television, Kara had gotten a very clear picture of Cat's business persona - one she had only been vaguely aware of prior to her capture by LordTech. The image of a tough, fiercely competitive, brilliant media mogul was almost impossible to reconcile with the tender - if sometimes impatient and always determined - woman standing beside her with towels tucked under her arm and a bottle of sunscreen in her hand. She thought that very few people had the privilege of seeing Cat Grant like that.

"I heard Carter go out the kitchen door which means he was gathering up his surf board, which means I'm going to have to paddle out there with him," Cat said, with a bit of an eye roll but no real bite.

_"You surf?"_

"I paddle. And I occasionally stand up without splashing directly into the ocean. Really, I only go out to keep an eye on Carter and make sure he doesn't go out too fast and that there aren't any sharks around."

" _Sharks?"_ Kara looked far more alarmed than a virtually indestructible alien should look.

Cat looked at her and gave a short laugh at her overreaction.

"In all the years I've been coming here, I've never yet seen one, but I watched Jaws one too many times in my youth."

 _"My sister showed me that movie not long after I arrived,"_ Kara told her. _"I do not like sharks."_

"Well you don't have to worry about any around here. Honestly. I'm just an overprotective mother," Cat insisted. "Will you come down to the water? There are chairs around the side of the house."

Kara looked from the shore to the house and back, seeming to measure the distance and gauge the open area. There was an uneasy expression on her face that Cat didn't like to see.

_"It's very open here. Anyone could see..."_

"Kara, there isn't another house in sight of this beach. It's part of why I bought this property. I value my privacy."

The younger woman still didn't look convinced, and Cat decided not to push her.

"It's fine if you want to stay closer to the house," she said. "Just follow me and get a chair so you can at least be comfortable. I assume you don't burn?" she added, holding out the sunscreen.

Kara shook her head, a grin forming as her nervousness about leaving the safety of the house dissipated.

Cat led her around past the kitchen door which was on the far end of the house, and around the corner where another porch served as a storage area for chairs, surf boards and even Carter's old sand toys, which he always said he was too old for yet inevitably ended up using to build castles during each visit.

"It's about time you came out," Carter said cheekily. "I almost headed down to the water myself."

Cat gave him a look that was pure "mother" and said, "Since I know you are only joking about breaking my biggest rule about no surfing alone, I am inclined to let it go."

"Of course, Mom," he said with a smile, while taking the sunscreen she was handing him, "but hurry up! The waves look perfect!"

He grabbed his board and dashed off towards the water, sand kicking up behind him and floating in the ocean breeze. Cat smiled indulgently and watched him go before picking up her own board and making a more dignified trek to the shore.

Kara picked up three chairs and carried them a short distance from the house, into the sunshine, but still close enough for her to feel safe. She set them up and then sat down, remembering Alex and her surf board. Her sister had tried to teach her, but Kara had never quite had the coordination. She could manage if she used her powers of course, adjusting her feet with super speed and keeping her balance with a little floating boost, but surfing like a human had just ended up with her in the water and Alex giggling as she paddled over and hoisted her onto her own board.

They were happy memories, but they still caused her eyes to well up, and she brushed aside a stray tear and swallowed hard a few times. Maybe... Maybe if Cat was actually able to stop Maxwell Lord... To stop the Alpha fights... Maybe it would be safe for her to look for Alex. Maybe she could see Eliza again... Visit Midvale... Look out over those familiar waters and watch Alex surf again.

The sound of Carter letting out a loud, joyful shout pulled Kara from her thoughts and she looked up and saw the boy standing upright as a wave carried him along. His arms were outstretched and his knees wobbled just slightly as he sped up down the face of the wave, but he looked happy and confident. Kara couldn't help but smile. She knew that Cat was often concerned about Carter's rather small circle of friends and the fact that he could be socially awkward around his peers, but out here he seemed like any other twelve-year-old boy.

The swelling wave carried him closer and closer to the shore before collapsing and sending him tumbling into the sparkling surf. He was only under water for a moment before bobbing up again, shaking his sodden curls and waving back at his mother. Kara scanned the water just past the breaking waves and saw Cat sitting astride her board and waving back, a bright smile highlighting her proud expression.

Carter almost immediately started to paddle back out again, avoiding the crashing white water and following a curving line back to the lineup of two. Mother and son sat on their boards, lazily drifting up and down. The water rolled beneath them, gathering energy from the offshore wind. Kara could see Cat putting out a hand to keep her boy from moving to catch one of the bigger waves, and she almost laughed at the aggrieved look on his face and the smile on Cat's. Soon enough, Carter was off again, wiry little arms propelling him along as he got into position and then popped up at just the right moment.

He repeated that routine another four times until Kara saw that he was getting tired. Cat noticed as well, and Kara could see Cat telling him that his next wave needed to be the last for a while. Reading the expressions on the Grant's faces was easy, especially when they were accented with childish pouting.

Evidently, Carter decided to make the last wave count, and he paddled fast, and popped up earlier than usual, riding high on the shoulder of the wave and giving a little wave to Kara before he dropped down the face and zig-zagged a trail that cut through the water shooting up spray behind. Kara gave a little clap and then looked back towards Cat, who was no longer just sitting on her board.

She had started paddling, getting ready for the next big wave. It was clear that she was a beginner, but Kara still thought she had sold herself a bit short saying that she just paddled and watched. Her execution was shaky, but she knew exactly where to plant her feet and when to pop up, and how to position herself for the easiest ride into the beach. Kara found herself clapping again while Cat sliced through the water towards shore. She was slightly further out than Carter had been when he'd bailed, and Kara grinned at the limbs akimbo and board flying as Cat made a rather less graceful splash into the ocean.

Kara was still smiling as she waited for Cat to come back to the surface, but the smile started to fade as the bright red board floated alone amongst the swirling waves. Another second, and another, and still no spluttering blonde head breaking the surface.

Her feet were moving, the sand giving way beneath every step, toes digging in for greater purchase as she pushed herself faster. Not quite superhuman speed, but skirting the line. Her eyes kept skimming the surface of the water and her arms pumped as fast as her legs and all at once the breath she had been holding burst out from her lungs in a desperate scream.

"Caaaat! Cat!" she called out the name repeatedly as she ran down the beach, from soft loose sand, to hard packed, to quick-sand-like, she never faltered.

Carter had just reached the shore, still smiling, a laugh just behind his lips, and then he looked startled at Kara's outburst and turned around to see what she was looking at. He couldn't see his mother, but a second later and he could see Kara diving into the waves, hair streaming down her back, tangling around her face as she swam with long, powerful strokes to where a red board was floating back and forth on the tide.

"Cat!" she screamed again, salty spray choking her as she turned herself around trying to spot the other woman.

Then, she closed her eyes and narrowed her focus, doing something she hadn't done for years. The sound of the gulls and the waves and Carter's voice faded into background noise as she listened for a heartbeat that had become so familiar to her over the past month.

But just as she heard it, just as she was spinning around to dive towards it, she saw Cat's head break the surface, a gasp escaping as water sluiced off her face.

"Cat!" Kara couldn't help crying out again as she grabbed the tow rope on Cat's board and swam towards her.

Cat was looking at Kara with wide, round eyes, and then she head Carter calling and looked over her shoulder to see his slightly panicky body language as waves lapped his feet on the shore.

"What happened?" Cat said breathlessly, and then, in a far more reverent tone, "Kara, you're talking!"

Kara had made it to Cat by then, and she pushed the board towards her, urging her to climb on before towing her back to the beach.

"Mom! Wow, you should have seen Kara! She came running down the beach and she just dove right into the water and she was screaming the whole time. I thought there really was a shark or something, and then you didn't answer, and she kept calling you, and I REALLY thought there must be a shark!"

Cat looked between Carter's excited face and Kara's much more shocked one and then curled her arm around her son's shoulders.

"I have a feeling it was very impressive," she told him, "but nope, no shark. I just got a bit disoriented under the water and decided to swim under the surf so that the spray wouldn't blind me when I surfaced. I'm sorry if I scared you, Carter. Why don't you run and get a towel before you catch a chill in this wind."

The boy dashed off up the beach towards and that left Cat to turn to Kara and really look at her.

The poor thing must have been petrified. She had pushed past all her other fears. She had called Cat's name.

"I'm sorry I scared you, too," she said quietly, as she reached to take hold of Kara's hand. "But apparently Carter thinks you'd make a fine lifeguard."

Kara used her free hand to push back her unruly hair, and managed a shy smile, looking off towards Carter instead of down at Cat.

"I heard you calling me."

Kara opened her mouth, and then her face twisted into a grimace and she pulled her hand from Cat's and clawed at her throat.

"Hey, hey, stop, shh..." Cat soothed. "Take it easy. Slow. Do you want to try again?"

The sea air filled Kara's lungs as she took a deep breath in and out, in and out.

"C-- Cat," she said, voice rough from disuse and eyes widening at the sound. "I - I couldn't..." she paused and cleared her throat and Cat's hand was soft as it touched her shoulder. "I couldn't let a shark get you," she finished with a little smile and a bright shine in her eyes.

Cat laughed, and pretended that it was the salt spray making her eyes sting.

They made their way up the beach to the house, and Carter was waiting for them with two more towels and a constant string of one-sided conversation as he repeated the scene again and then started asking Kara to say other things, to say his name, to recite the alphabet.

Cat could see the uncomfortable look on Kara's face, and she gently hushed Carter and sent him off to get bottles of water.

"Not quite ready to start talking full-time?" Cat said as she sat down on a lounge chair in the sun.

"I - don't... It feels weird? Wrong?" Kara said, looking as confused as she sounded while dropping heavily onto another chair.

Weird was acceptable. Wrong was not, and Cat's eyes hardened a bit upon hearing the word.

"There's nothing wrong with you speaking, Kara. You are allowed to talk. You sound out of practice, naturally, but I can tell you have a lovely voice."

Kara shook her head. "It's not exactly that... I just... I had to be quiet... I couldn't tell them about Alex - " and as soon as that name left her lips, Kara had covered her mouth in shock.

Cat just looked at her waiting for her to relax. When Kara's eyes continued to reflect her fears, Cat said gently,

"There is nothing you can say here that is going to hurt you or her. You're safe."

Kara nodded, saying, at last, "It's hard to remember."

"Well, you certainly don't need to talk all the time around us. I think Carter has actually really enjoyed learning sign language with you, and most people would tell you that Cat Grant prefers to hear herself speak," she said with a touch of acidic self-deprecation.

"I think -- You are very different around Carter than you are around most people," Kara said, the words coming out a bit slowly, but the tones evening out and sounding more like she remembered.

 _"And around you, I hope,_ " Cat thought, but did not say, and then wondered where the thought had come from.

Carter was back soon with their drinks and a plea for French toast since they had not eaten before their little surfing adventure. Cat didn't look eager to move from her comfortable chair, but Kara sprang up and announced - speaking - that she would make them. Cat was unsurprised when her son tailed her back into the house. She was just thinking that she needed to have another talk about not pushing Kara when snippets of conversation drifted out the back door.

"It's good you can talk while we cook and eat," Carter said. "Hard to sign while your hands are busy."

"True," was Kara's one word response.

"But you can still sign sometimes, if you want? I was getting pretty good at it, and your throat might get sore if you start talking all the time all at once."

Cat closed her eyes and smiled as the sunshine warmed her damp body. If she had done just one thing right in life, it had been to raise a caring and sensitive son.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back from the beach, things settle down, but Maxwell Lord won't go down easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I planned to bring Alex back in this chapter, but it just got too long! I should have the next one out quickly, and Alex will be back. :)
> 
> Comments and criticism are the best motivators!

Chapter Sixteen

At the end of the week, everyone was reluctant to return to the city, even Cat, who usually got antsy about leaving her precious CatCo by day four. This time, Cat didn't feel that same pull. She was getting too much enjoyment out of watching her son not shadowed by the anxiety that school often brought with it. She was getting too much enjoyment from watching Kara slowly open up more and more.

The Kryptonian still signed most often when she and Carter were together, but over the course of the week, she had started speaking more and more when it was just she and Cat, especially after Carter had gone to bed. The spent most evenings curled on different pieces of furniture in the living area, French doors blowing in a cool ocean breeze and a small fire in the fireplace pushing it back. Cat spent a lot of that time working on the first of her Alpha fight articles, but when she wasn't writing, she and Kara would play Scrabble or chess (Kara was frighteningly good at it) and while they weren't exactly chatty, Cat had soon become fond of Kara's sweet, lilting voice.

She hoped that the return to the city wouldn't mean that Kara would lapse back into silence.

Arrangements at home had already been settled, and Carter's nanny would be continuing her generously paid leave of absence. Kara was happy to watch the boy in the afternoon, and Carter was thrilled with the news of that continuing. Cat's driver would take him to and from school, including any after school activities, because Kara was still refusing to leave the penthouse, and truthfully Cat was glad. Chances of Kara being recognized out on the street were very slim, but the chances that she could experience or witness something that would trigger a panic attack were significantly higher.

Monday morning was almost scarily domestic, Cat reflected as she sipped at her coffee and called for Carter.

Kara had woken first and had made breakfast for all of them - an egg white omelet for Cat and pancakes shaped like Darth Vader for Carter. She had a lunch ready for Carter as well, and it was safely packed away in his school bag. Cat took her traditional first-day-of-school photo, much to Carter's chagrin, and then ruffled his hair, fixed his collar and told him to stop growing up so fast. Just before the two of them rushed out the door, Carter swooped back into the kitchen and gave Kara an enormous hug. Kara was shocked, and it showed, but she gently wrapped her arms around him and told him to have fun on his first day back. 

It all made Cat want to swoop in and give Kara a hug of her own.

After so much time spent without human kindness or company, it should have been easy for Kara to go back to spending her day alone, especially in such a comfortable and safe setting. It surprised her how much she missed having Cat and Carter around. It was almost as if now that she'd been re-exposed to what warmth and familiarity felt like, she had developed a craving for it.

The hours ticked by slowly, but she was able to keep herself somewhat occupied. She cleaned the penthouse, which needed a good dusting after a week of neglect. She changed all the beds, washing and drying the linens but careful to avoid the basket half-full of Cat's delicate underthings. A simple glance had made her stomach do an odd little flip, and she was eager to forget that. By the time Carter was due to arrive home, Kara had made a batch of cookies like some fifties house frau, and had a roast in the oven and potatoes peeled and waiting in a pot of water on the stove.

She sat on the balcony for a while, with a stack of CatCo magazines and a book Cat had recommended, while soaking up the afternoon sun. She expected Carter to burst through the door any minute, eager to tell her all about his day, and the thought brought a little smile to the surface and warm feeling to her heart.

Knowing that Carter's school let out at 3:15, she expected him to arrive by quarter to four at the latest, depending upon the traffic. The sun sank lower in the sky and Kara cast ever more frequent glances to the decorative outdoor clock hung on the wall. Four o'clock and she sent a quick text down to the lobby just to check if Carter was down there chatting with the doorman. She started pacing when she received a quick reply stating that the Grant's car hadn't yet pulled up.

Beginning to feel frantic, Kara knew there was only one thing she could do, but she dreaded it. She knew that whatever had kept Carter from arriving wasn't her fault, but she still didn't want to be the one to tell Cat that her son wasn't home. It brought up a dozen feelings, the most prominent being fear. She knew that it was irrational, but after years of being punished for the most minor transgression, it was where her mind automatically went.

Her fingers were almost shaking as she dialed Cat's number on the cell phone the woman had given her.

"Kara?" Cat was completely taken aback at Kara actually calling instead of texting.

"Y-yes, it's me."

Cat's brows drew together, sensing the anxiety in Kara's voice.

"What's wrong, Kara? If it's dinner, I can always pick something up on the way home."

Kara shook her head and then seemed to remember that Cat couldn't see her. "No," she said, "It's... it's Carter. He's still not home yet and it's almost four thirty and I've checked all the news outlets and there aren't any reports of accidents, but I was afraid to call the police, and -"

"What? Accidents? Kara, Kara, slow down. Slow down. You're upset because Carter isn't home yet?"

"Yes! And I didn't know who to call or what to do..."

"Oh, Kara, I'm so sorry. Carter asked to run a quick errand after school. It was only supposed to take a few minutes, and I will definitely speak to him about being so late without calling to tell you. I'm sure he'll be there soon."

"Really?" Kara felt the torrent of emotions flowing from her and it made her fingertips tingle and weakened her knees. "So he's okay and you aren't upset?"

"Kara, no matter what the reason for Carter's lateness, I wouldn't be upset with you. And yes, I am sure that he is just fine and will be coming through the door any minute now."

There was a moment where Kara just took a few deep breaths and then Cat spoke again.

"Look, I'm wrapping something up here, but I will try to leave a little early. Are you feeling better now?" Cat asked, fearing an anxiety attack and wondering what the night would bring for dreams.

"I'm better," Kara said, feeling sheepish. "I apologize for bothering you."

"You aren't a bother, Kara, and I'm glad you called me if you thought there was a problem with Carter."

"Oh!" Kara exclaimed, "I think he's home now!"

The doorknob was jiggling and then Carter was stomping in, laden down with his backpack and gripping the handles of two brown paper bags.

"Well I will let you go greet him then," Cat replied, and Kara could almost hear her smiling.

Carter turned towards the living room just as Kara was setting her phone down on the coffee table, and he smiled widely, pulling yet more of the negative feelings from Kara's body.

"Hey, Kara!" he exclaimed, dropping his backpack and jacket in a pile on the floor, but holding onto the bags. "Are you okay?" he asked as he drew nearer and could see a certain paleness that wasn't usually evident, and tightness in the smile on her lips.

"I thought you'd be home earlier," Kara told him.

"Oh, yeah, I had to make a stop... I guess it took longer than I thought it would. I'm sorry about that. You weren't worried, were you?"

"Maybe a little," she replied, now feeling somewhat embarrassed at her overreaction.

"Next time I'll remember to call," he said cheerily, "but look - look what I got for you!"

He thrust the two bags towards her and she almost backed up again, surprised to have him offering them to her.

"What--?"

"Just look," he said again, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet.

Kara put the bags down on the table and opened the first one, seeing pads and packages of different kinds of paper, with paint palettes nestled next to them. The other bag held an assortment of paints, watercolor and oil, with brushes, sponges, little water containers and a collapsible easel. She realized she was holding her breath, and sat down on the nearest chair, color rising high in her cheeks, and eyes growing bright.

"You bought this for me?"

Now it was Carter's turn to look shy and embarrassed.

"Yeah, well, I figured it would be nice for you to have something else to do during the day. It was Mom's idea too."

In fact, it was Cat who had put the idea into Carter's head while they were still at the beach house. She knew that Kara would be reluctant to accept anything else from her, but Carter was impossible to refuse.

"I don't know what to say... I mean, thank you," Kara said, hands twisting, spoken words becoming more awkward as they still did when she was flustered.

"You don't even need to thank me," Carter said with a wide grin and sparkling eyes. "Just paint something nice and we can hang it on the wall."

"Absolutely," Kara promised, and then turned away before the boy could see the few tears clinging to her lashes.

The rest of the evening ran smoothly, with Cat getting home early, just as she'd promised. By Wednesday, everyone was settling into the routine or home and office and Cat's first article about the Alpha fights is set to go to print. She had decided to run it in the Tribune's Sunday edition and concurrently in the other CatCo owned papers throughout the country. She wanted the widest distribution possible and planned to have it put on the website as well.

Cat was quite pleased with the article and had let Kara see the drafts to make certain that she wasn't making any false assumptions or saying anything that might identify her source as the younger woman. Kara had read it, trying to dissociate herself from the words, but it was difficult, and she felt none of Cat's excitement at the prospect of bringing down Maxwell Lord and his cronies. Instead she could only feel fear of her new freedom being snatched away, and that fear threatened to swamp her. She knew that Cat wanted her to feel proud of herself, proud that she had supported Cat's efforts, and proud of what she had overcome - was still overcoming - but it was too difficult. She had approved the article and congratulated Cat and hoped that the older woman couldn't see the doubts behind her eyes.

As the date of printing came closer, that mask of acceptance became harder to wear.

On Saturday, Kara set up her easel in her room, intending to paint there, but Cat insisted that the living room got much better light. For Kara, painting was a very personal act, and she didn't like to do it in front of other people, but she couldn't refuse Cat, so she moved her things out by the balcony doors. She painted a wash for the sky, and then penciled in a rough outline for the rest, and then didn't look at it again for the rest of the day.

Sunday morning, early, a courier brought an early printing of the Sunday Tribune, and Cat was fully showered, dressed and with hair and makeup perfect when she opened the door to receive it. Carter and Kara still slept, having stayed up too late playing MarioKart and the newest TombRaider games. Cat smiled as she always did when she saw her words in print. Her expression took on a grim determination as she thought of the second article, already half-written on her laptop. She couldn't wait to see LordTech and Cadmus brought down.

A slight cold front had slipped into the city overnight, and Cat wrapped herself in a pale grey chunky cashmere sweater before heading to the coffee maker. Her thoughts were still on the work ahead of her, and the certainty that various authorities would be questioning her over the weeks to come. She set about making breakfast and planning the best way to impress upon her lawyer the fact that her sources needed to be protected at all cost.

Kara is nervous about the article leading her to be surprisingly short with Cat that weekend. Cat understands her fears and tries to be reassuring. She also encourages Kara to consider what she wants to do next with her life. Once the Alpha program is shut down and more rights are given to aliens, she should feel safer and there will be a world of possibilities out there waiting for her.

The smell of bacon lures Carter from his room and he walks in all sleepy-eyed and tousle-haired wearing basketball shorts and a rumpled NASA t-shirt. Cat is a little surprised that Kara hasn't already joined her in the kitchen. Yes, she was up late, but she has never seemed to need as much sleep as a human.

The eggs have been plated and Cat is about to send Carter to knock on the younger woman's door when Kara walks into the room. She's freshly showered, with her hair pulled back into a damp, messy ponytail, and the sleeves her oversized sweater almost covering her hands. Cat nods to the plate she's set out for her and smiles, the energized feeling she gets from publishing something still thrumming through her veins.

"The paper's there beside your plate," she says casually. "You can take a look, see how it feels to be the start of bringing down that bastard Lord."

Kara shrugs noncommittaly and takes a bite of her eggs.

"I know I was thrilled to see it laid out there for everyone to see. Maybe the public will finally get it through their thick skulls that the Alpha fights aren't family entertainment," Cat continued. "I ended up leaving some things to make it harder to tell where my inside information came from. I know you were worried about that," she started to sense Kara's unease and guesses at its source. "You can see for yourself --"

"I don't need to read it!" Kara suddenly snaps. "I lived through it. That's enough."

And then she lets her fork drop noisily onto her plate and looks up, wide-eyed as if startled by her own outburst.

"I'm sorry," she manages, before sliding off her chair and quickly going back to her room.

Cat watches her go and feels like the worst thing that just happened was the way Kara signed her apology instead of speaking.

"Is Kara mad at you?" Carter asks, confused at the whole scene.

"I think she may be," Cat tells him. "I think it's more that she's afraid of what could happen if more people start poking around LordTech, and make Maxwell Lord angry enough to look for her again - if he ever really stopped."

Because Cat is certain that Lord had to have searched for the woman, and had to still be furious about her escape, and she has to admit that publishing her stories will point him straight to CatCo no matter how she tries to avoid it. It's a risk she knew she was taking, but she never gave Kara a choice in the matter, and it's her life that's at stake. She kept assuring the woman that she would keep her safe, but her actions endangered her, and Kara had every right to be upset. Cat could talk about lawyers and court orders and flights out of the country on private jets, but all of it was small comfort to someone who had lived through the past two years of Kara's life.

"You should probably go talk to her," Carter urged when his mother continued to stand in the kitchen with her finger tracing the rim of her coffee mug.

"You're right, I should," she agreed, and she put her mug down with a quiet thunk and walked slowly down the hall to the last door on the right.

"Kara?" she said, not even knocking because she knew her voice would be heard.

"You can come in."

Kara's voice sounded tired, resigned, and Cat felt stupid for not fully addressing all of this as soon as she started writing her articles. She pushed the door open and saw that Kara was seated in the chair by the window, feet curled up beneath her and a sketch book on her lap.

"You like drawing in here?" Cat said, easing herself into what could be a difficult conversation.

"It helps me feel calmer. I can get my emotions out without hurting anything or anyone."

Cat nodded, and thought about the easel in the living room and the woman's need to express herself, and how that might not be the easiest thing to do with other people around watching her.

"I shouldn't have told you to move your painting things."

Kara shrugged.

"No. Kara, you had set yourself up where you felt comfortable and I made you think you needed to move. I didn't intend to boss you around, but I did. I mean, I am the boss at CatCo, and I suppose that's a hard thing to drop when I come through the door at night, but I need to try harder. I need to listen to you more even when you're not actually speaking."

"I should have just told you I like to paint in private," Kara whispered.

"It's hard for you to ask for things -- tell people things -- right now, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's understandable. Carter and I are the ones who need to be more aware of your feelings."

Kara glanced over to where Cat was perched on the corner of the bed.

"I'm an awful lot of work for you."

"You're worth the extra effort, Kara," Cat said, and then paused for a minute. "You really aren't comfortable with me writing about the Alpha fights, are you? Even though I'm doing it to try to end them."

With a quick shake of her head, Kara gave the woman her answer.

"I'm sorry, Kara. I didn't realize it was upsetting you. This is one time where I don't think it would have changed my mind. Putting an end to those fights is too important. But I should have talked to you about it more. Tried to make sure you felt safe."

And in truth, Kara hadn't revealed much about her time at LordTech, not in any detail, but when Kara read the article, read about trauma and torture and forced participation, she could only see herself and she could only think of Lord seeing her in those words too. The thought was terrifying to her, but she had kept it from Cat.

"I should have said something after you first let me read it," Kara said.

"And I should have picked up on it just by the way you were acting," Cat quickly replied. "Let's just say that we both could have done things differently and agree to do better in the future."

When a small smile appeared on Kara's face, Cat felt a weight lift from her chest. Later that afternoon, Cat noticed that the easel and little table of painting supplies had disappeared from the living room. When she passed Kara's room on the way to bed, she saw them set up by the window, and waves had joined the sky on the canvas.

Monday morning came, and with it the usual irritations at CatCo. Layouts misplaced, best photographer out with the flu, Helen from fashion pestering her for an opinion on the latest Vera Wang collection. Underneath it though, Cat could hear the murmurs throughout the bullpen. People were talking about her Sunday article, and that alone brought a - just slightly smug - smile to her face.

At nine she made her way upstairs for a board meeting and prepared herself for the usual arguments. She wasn't disappointed, but managed to keep her good mood throughout. Well, there were a few moments where she was giving a scathing rebuke to a man old enough to be her father who insisted that the magazine needed to be more risqué. All in all, though, she was feeling very self-satisfied as her private elevator carried her down a floor toward her office.

The very instant she stepped one Laboutin-clad foot off the elevator, Cat found herself practically accosted by her assistant, who was carrying on about security and a man bursting into the office, and,

"I told him he needed to make an appointment, but he just pushed right past me and actually sat down on your sofa!"

Cat was taking long strides across the office as Joan trotted along beside her, practically out of breath. When they came within sight of Cat's glass-walled domain, Cat stiffened upon seeing who was seated inside.

"That's fine, Jane, yes, yes, I get it. He wouldn't leave. I'll take care of it, and you just wait at your desk in case I give a sign that I want security upstairs."

"Yes, Ms Grant. Sorry again, Ms Grant."

Joan ducked around behind her desk, and Cat continued on, forcefully pulling open her door and marching in with a fierce expression on her face.

"Maxwell Lord. Can't say I expected to see you here, but I suppose I'm not completely surprised either."

"Cat, Cat, Cat, always full of surprises, and always a pleasure. Well, almost always. I can't say this is a social call," Max retorted, snide as always.

He stood up as Cat walked past him and stood behind her desk.

"Well, get on with it then," Cat said, waving one hand dismissively. "I assume you want to tell me my article is full of lies, and the Alpha fights are beyond reproach, and you can also walk on water."

"Ha. Very amusing, Cat. But yes, I am here about that slanderous article that appeared yesterday. You can't possibly have any proof of what you wrote, and you have always made your opinions on the fights very clear, so your bias is obvious."

"Sounds to me like I'm telling too much truth for your liking," Cat countered, eyes narrowing. "Unfortunately, the next article in the series won't make you any happier."

Lord took a step closer and put his hands on the desk, not exactly slamming them down, but forceful enough to make the dregs of coffee in Cat's mug tremor.

"You really should reconsider going on with those stories, Cat. You're going against the tide here. The cities that host the fights have flourishing economies. The people love them. I even have a number of key senators backing my armed services initiative."

"Yes, will I'm guessing that they don't all realize what goes on behind the curtain. They've been in the dark about the torture, mistreatment, and all the rest of your odious practices. Once everyone knows how LordTech and Cadmus treat people - "

"Aliens! They are aliens, Cat. Dangerous creatures who were locked up by their own kind. They are vicious animals and fight because it's in their blood."

"Oh really?" Cat said, folding her arms across her chest and raising one brow.

"Yes... Really," Lord replied as he stepped back again and regained his composure. "Whatever "source" you have telling you otherwise has obviously been completely misinformed."

Cat's expression faltered for just an instant before she said, "This conversation is over, Lord. You can see yourself out."

"Oh-ho-ho... A little nervous there? Who is this source of yours anyway?" Lord pressed. "I've had several people leave my employ recently. Disgruntled, you might call them. I'd given up ever touching base with them again, but perhaps - "

"I'd really rather not call security, but if I must," Cat raised her eyes to look over Lord's head and towards her assistant, catching her eye.

"No, that's fine. I'll go. But this isn't over. You can't win this, Cat."

He turned on his heel after giving her another long glare, and Cat watched him make his way through the bullpen. She didn't let herself fall back into her chair until the elevator doors closed behind him.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex! Yay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter than usual but I wanted to get this out and the next part feels like it will be too long to squeeze into this chapter.
> 
> Please leave comments/criticism. Even if it's just a short note, I promise it is so very appreciated!

Chapter Seventeen

Generally speaking, Cat Grant was a master at dealing with difficult situations and then pushing on straight forward. It was practically a survival skill she'd found necessary back when she was first building her brand and being insulted about everything from cashing in on her looks to her intelligence. She had quickly proven her naysayers to be the foolish blowhards they were.

Dealing with an unpleasant person in her office should have been but a blot on her schedule for the day. She fully expected an extra cup of coffee and a pithy reprimand of her tech editor to get her day back on track, but at ten-thirty, she still hadn't shaken the memory. Lord's words - poorly masked threats, really - rolled through her mind. The last one especially, speaking of ex-employees, had Cat tightening her fist around her pen so hard that it left a mark on the inside of her finger.

She had promised Kara that she would be safe, and the article wouldn't endanger her, and here was Maxwell Lord waltzing in. She honestly hadn't expected him to suspect anything like that. After all, what were the odds of an escaped Alpha just happening to "run into" the Queen of a media empire? Her source could easily have been a guard or physician, and she had been covering Cadmus as well, so any alien source could just as likely have come from there.

The tapping of Cat's pen against the glass desktop finally registered in her brain, and she forced herself to stop, setting the pen in it's holder and pushing the papers back into their folder.

"Jane!" she called out, as she stood up suddenly and her chair rolled back to bump the wall behind her.

"Yes Ms Grant?" Joan asked after scurrying into the office.

"I'm taking an early lunch. Deal with the schedule will you?"

"Of course, Ms Grant," Joan replied, a little stunned because Cat Grant rarely deviated from her set schedule.

Cat had her phone out, calling her driver, before she reached the elevator. Twenty minutes later and the car was pulling up in front of the Cat's building. Purposeful strides brought her across the lobby, giving only a slight nod to the door man, and she tapped her foot on the ride up to the penthouse. When she opened the door to her home and heard low music playing in the background, Cat finally felt herself relax.

"Kara!" she called out, wanting to alert the other woman of her presence before just walking into her room.

In a few seconds, Kara walked down the hall, nose and cheek smudged with paint, confused expression on her face.

"Cat? What are you doing home?" she asked as she approached, brushing a stray lock of hair off her forehead and adding paint there instead.

Cat managed to keep herself from chuckling before answering, "Just felt like coming home for a quick lunch," she dropped her bags onto the table beside the door and headed towards the kitchen.

"Oh! Well, I haven't actually made anything," Kara said, following after her a bit of concern lacing through her voice.

'Kara, I wasn't expecting you to be my cook. The fact that you make dinner for us so often is a bonus to me, not a requirement. Why don't you take a seat and I'll see what I can whip up."

She smiled, feeling herself lighten just being around Kara. Kara still felt a bit confused, but she sat down at the counter and watched Cat move gracefully around the kitchen, putting together a salad and topping it with grilled chicken from dinner the night before.

"This is great," Kara told her between mouthfuls. "I had sort of lost track of time. I didn't realize how hungry I was."

"Painting, I see," Cat said with a grin.

Kara's eyebrows arched up questioningly, and Cat pointed to the various spots on her face. Kara hastily brushed at her face with a napkin while Cat laughed lightly.

"Stop, stop, it's cute," she said, calming Kara's fluttery movements.

"Cute?"

"Well..." Cat felt suddenly awkward, "I just like seeing that you're enjoying yourself."

Kara blushed prettily and lowered her eyes to her plate again.

"I meant to thank you again for the paints. I know Carter bought them, but it was almost as if he had a list," she said, smiling and looking at Cat out of the corner of her eye. "Nothing was missing."

"Pssshhh," Cat scoffed, though there was no bite behind it. "He could have looked something up on the Internet."

Kara let it drop but continued to smile.

It was with a considerably calmer spirit that Cat entered the CatCo building nearer to one than noon. The September sun was strong, glinting off the building and flooding the glass-walled lobby with light. Cat was in such a good mood that she even called the security guard by his right name and inquired about his upcoming anniversary.

She should have known that something was bound to spoil her afternoon.

When the elevator doors opened, she had a distinct feeling of deja vu as her assistant practically sprinted to her side, babbling this time about a woman who had barged in and was refusing to leave.

"And I threatened to call security, and she threatened ME with her index finger and said she just wanted to talk to you and that if she didn't do it here, she'd just go to your home, and I knew you wouldn't want that, with Carter there and --"

"Understood, yes, fine, I get it," Cat said, already having a slight suspicion about who this mystery woman was.

"I swear, Ms Grant, I tried my best to get rid of her," Joan said, sounding just this side of pleading.

Cat paused in her path towards her office and turned to look at her assistant.

"I'm sure you did. Don't worry about it, Joan, just clear my afternoon."

Joan blinked a few times as Cat's surprisingly kind words registered before heaving a sigh of relief and saying, "Thank you, Ms Grant. Absolutely, Ms Grant," and then rushing back to her desk just a few steps ahead of her boss.

Taking a few deep breaths herself, Cat moved on towards her office, spotting the woman pacing back and forth in front of her desk long before she reached the door. Her hair was cut in a short bob, the color a shade between deep brown and rich mahogany, flashing more red when she turned her back to the windows and the sun struck it just right. Her clothing was well fitted, but utilitarian; a black long sleeved polo shirt and trim black cargo pants held up with a wide leather belt that Cat could easily envision holding a gun holster or three. A thick black knee brace wrapped around one leg and a limp was evident although the woman tried hard to mask it.

The woman turned sharply as Cat opened the door.

"You wanted to speak to me?" Cat said, training her voice to a level below haughty but above concerned.

Alex Danvers scanned her up and down, sizing her up. She had, of course, seen her on television before, and she looked smaller in person. Yet at the same time strong and stubborn as hell. This was the woman she suspected knew something about her sister.

When she had first read the article on Sunday morning, while enjoying a rare minute of relaxation with a cup of coffee, she had felt the blood rush from her extremities to her chest and face, leaving her at once chilled and flushed. She had abandoned her coffee at the table in Noonan's and ridden her Ducati straight to the alien bar.

After leaving the hospital, she had taken a job as an adjunct professor at the National City Community College, but she had used every spare moment trying to track down any aliens in the city. Her search had sparked the attention of a police detective, Maggie Sawyer, and while she had been reluctant to trust anyone, Maggie wasn't easy to avoid, and she had eventually told her an abbreviated version of her experiences and explained her desire to connect with the pro-alien group so that she could work with them to bring down the Alpha fights and secure alien rights.

All of which had led to her introduction to J'onn J'onzz, leader of the half-underground Alien Rights Alliance. The underground half consisting of actual aliens afraid to go public while their human allies fought for their rights. It was a group Jeremiah Danvers had helped to found, and J'onn had taken her under his wing as a daughter.

When she had showed the article to him, all fight and fury and insistence that they needed to find out how Cat knew so much about the Alpha fights. She'd been certain that the CEO had to have been in contact with Kara, because no other aliens in National City would have gone within a block of any reporter.

J'onn had only just been able to calm her down enough to prevent her from storming the Grants' high rise on Sunday morning. He had utterly failed at keeping her from her current mission.

"I think you know why I'm here," she said, words bitten off, eyes staring at Cat, reading her expressions.

"I have an inkling," Cat said, resting one hand on her hip, still holding herself casually aloof.  
Alex wasted no time, and immediately laid out her facts. Cat's article contained details that only someone intimately involved would know about. Alex knows that only a handful of aliens have ever been inside LordTech and walked out of their own free will. She also knows that none of them have been talking to Cat. 

"So now," she concluded, "I am going to ask you one time and one time only what you know about an alien with Alpha markings, blonde hair, blue eyes and no voice."

"You mean Kara Zor-El," Cat said mildly. "You might want to keep your voice down. Not everyone here is as discreet as I am."

Alex's eyes grew wide at the instant admission, and her hands tightened into fists at her sides.

"Where is she? What has happened to her?" she demanded, but her voice, while strong and stern had just the tiniest wobble at the end and Cat heard it and knew for certain who this woman was.

"You're the sister," she said without question. "Follow me and we'll talk somewhere that doesn't have an audience," she continued, gesturing at the bullpen where people appeared to be working but we're sure to have their ears cocked in their direction.

Alex's mouth was set in a straight, thin line as she followed Cat out of the office, through the bullpen, down the hall and into a small, windowless office.

"There. Now we can talk," Cat declared, popping herself up on the abandoned desk and crossing her legs.

"Where is Kara?" Alex asked, advancing until she was only a foot away from Cat. "Is she all right? Did you send her somewhere?"

"Your sister is fine," Cat replied, voice slipping into a reassuring lilt. "And I still don't know your name."

Cat gestured towards one of the two chairs in front of the desk, and Alex sat down, stretching out her injured knee with a small wince.

"You know I'm her sister but you don't know my name?" Alex was skeptical and still defensive.

The slightly amused expression, brought on by the satisfaction of possessing knowledge someone else desired, faded somewhat. Cat brought her hands to her lap and laced her fingers as she thought of a tactful reply.

"Kara was... reluctant... to reveal much of anything at first, and later, it slipped out that she had a sister. She said you were at LordTech with her," Cat said hesitantly, eyes flicking up to Alex's, "but she never told me her name. She never told me her Earth surname. At first she was too afraid to put you all in danger, and I haven't wanted to push her since then."

Alex's eyes sparked as she registered Cat's words.

"Wait... Since then? You mean you still see her? How the Hell did you ever meet her in the first place?"

"Yes," Cat said slowly, not sure exactly how much she wanted to reveal, "I still see her. We met by chance, just a day or two after she escaped - you escaped - and arrived in National City."

Cat went on to give Alex the short and sweet version of her meeting with Kara and the alien's subsequent recovery.

Alex was totally silent through Cat's narrative, not even asking questions, and when the woman had finished, she tilted her head to one side, looking at Cat curiously.

"She's still living with you, isn't she," it was more statement than question.

A quick sucked in breath was as much an affirmation as spoken words.

"You're using her for information to write your damn Alpha stories," Alex spat.

"No!" Cat exclaimed angrily. "Nothing could be further from the truth! I would NEVER do that. Yes, she has confirmed my worst suspicions about those damn organizations, but I have not asked her any questions except to help her deal with her memories, and I have no intention of ever doing so. Dammit, I didn't even press her for your name, and I never looked for you - on her request - though it would have been a piece of cake to locate you via hospital records if I'd hired a decent P.I."

The fierce look on Alex's face faltered mid-way through Cat's speech and when that woman had finished, she asked, "She didn't want to find me?"

Taking a breath to clear her emotions, Cat purposefully gentled her voice as she told Alex, "She was afraid for you. Afraid that Lord would track you down through her and take you captive again. She was actually furious with me for suggesting it - the first time she directed any anger at me - and I understood her fears and promised her that I wouldn't look for you."

"She saved my life," Alex said simply, voice growing rough.

"The way she sees it, you never would have been there if not for her."

Alex let her head drop into her hands and hid her tears from Cat. She was never one to let other people see her cry, and she definitely wouldn't expose herself like that in front of Cat Grant.

"She's much better now," Cat said quietly, feeling her way around this tough, angry, sad young woman. "She only communicated with sign language to start, but she started speaking some last week. Well, she almost always speaks to me now, but she signs with my son," Cat went on, revealing probably more than she intended.

"Your son? Is she living with you?" Alex asked, raising her head, the redness around her eyes the only sign of her overwhelming emotions.

Cat calculated her chances of successfully lying, and further considered what the point of lying would be before answering, "Yes, she's living with us. She's at my penthouse right now, probably half-covered in paint if lunchtime was any indication," she finished with a fond grin.

Alex seemed less inclined to smile at that information, and her eyes met Cat's, her jaw tense and clenching even as she clearly tried to keep herself calm.

"It seems like you've taken an uncanny interest in someone who could literally kill you," she said.

Cat rolled her eyes.

"Kara would never hurt me or my son. She's moving past that part of her life."

"Really? So you're the one controlling her now? A vulnerable woman bent to your will?" Alex countered, and the innuendo was clear and shocking.

"What? No! I'm not "taking advantage" of your sister, Ms Danvers! She has always been free to leave, and I have never made any advances towards her whatsoever. Despite what you may read or believe about me, I'm not a power-hungry monster. I'm just a woman in a position of power in an industry where being in that position requires a certain attitude if one is a woman. That has little bearing on my private life, and Kara is a kind, intelligent and sweet woman and I am merely doing my best to help her regain some semblance of her former life."

Cat had felt heat rising in her face as she spoke, her words becoming both more frustrated and angry and heart-felt as she went on. The accusation was absurd, but after the week at the beach Cat was beginning to realize that if things had been different, her she might have let something happen between her and the younger woman. Hearing the suggestion voiced aloud made Cat cringe internally at the fact that someone else might ever suspect that such thoughts had flitted through her mind even as Kara was still recovering from an almost inconceivable trauma.

Alex continued to look slightly doubtful, but she relaxed slightly and leaned back a bit in her chair.

"I believe you," she told Cat, "But you know I had to make sure."

"Of course," Cat replied, business-like mask back in place.

"I want to see her," was Alex's next request, and then, "I need to see her," said with a softer, more pleading voice which Alex hated.

"I would never keep her family from seeing her," Cat assumed the other woman. "I assume you want to go right now?"

She slid from the desk while Alex stood up, surprised at the immediate capitulation. 

"Yes, now if that's possible," she said, the words considerably more polite than the forceful ones she had expected to employ.

"Very well then, let's go," Cat brushed past the dark-clad woman and swung the office door open, leaving Alex to trail along in her wake as she headed for the elevator.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danvers Sisters, together again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is slightly short, but hopefully you guys won't mind. Let me know what you think. Naturally this sort of emotional scene is always difficult to write, so it's good to know if I've struck the right tone or not.

Chapter Eighteen

On the elevator ride to the lobby, Cat hastily scribbled her address onto the back of a business card and handed it to Alex.

"I had a rather unpleasant visitor earlier, and I'd rather not have anyone see us leaving here together," Cat explained tensely.

"Maxwell Lord, you mean," Alex spat out the name like acid while Cat's eyes opened wider. "I'm not an idiot, Ms Grant. People I know have been keeping tabs on him since he arrived in National City. He's actually already on a plane back to where he came from but I still entered CatCo through a service entrance in case he left anyone behind."

Cat was visibly impressed. "But security had --"

"I have my ways, Ms Grant. I'm not going to share them with you so you might as well stop asking."

Giving a little sniff, Cat accepted that gracefully for her.

"Fine. You can arrive at that address in forty-five minutes, and I'll alert the doorman to make sure he sends you right up."

"Forty five minutes? This address is only twenty minutes away," Alex said skeptically.

"Yes, I'm aware, but I would like a chance to warn Kara ahead of time. This will all be a shock to her, I'm sure you can imagine."

Alex sighed and nodded in agreement. Her limbs were practically buzzing with the pent-up anticipation of seeing her sister again, and waiting even an extra minute seemed far too much to ask. But Cat was right, and she didn't want to cause Kara any more trauma.

When a muted tone signaled that they were at the lobby, Alex stepped out of the elevator and Cat watched her leave before riding back up to her office. Her assistant was surprised to see her, and sprang to her feet, but Cat gave her a tired wave and didn't pause on her way by. She went to her desk, gathered her bags and walked right back out again, saying nothing to anyone. A few minutes later and her driver was taking her back to the penthouse.

During the drive, she tried to distract herself with emails and then with perusing rival websites, but her thoughts always returned to the physically unbreakable but mentally fragile woman waiting for her at home.

Now that she knew for sure that Kara had at least one family member who clearly cared for her, she was pleased that she would be able to reunite them, but her stomach still felt twisted into knots. She knew that seeing her sister could only serve to help Kara overcome what had been done to her. She further thought thought, dimly, that Alex would probably be eager to take Kara away from National City and let her heal with her or wherever their childhood home had been. Well, it wasn't her place to stop that from happening. She was trying to help her out of a sense of duty and justice to what she believed in. If that could be better accomplished by her Earth family, then she would welcome it. Yes, definitely she would welcome it.

She clenched her hand around her phone until her knuckles turned white and read the same headline five times before giving up and staring out the window at the blur of passing cars, pedestrians and buildings. She was still staring for a good two minutes after the car came to a rest outside the gold and glass doors of her building. Her driver coughed discreetly through the intercom, and Cat hastily exited the car.

Clouds had rolled in from the ocean and they hung low over the city, making it look as if rain was imminent although the weather forecasters had said nothing about it. Cat took a deep breath before she went inside. If her doorman was surprised to see her again so soon, he didn't let it show on his face. He'd worked at the building for over ten years, and seen a lot of things he'd never repeat, even to his wife.

When Cat entered her home for the second time that day, she let the door swing closed heavily, knowing it would signal her arrival to Kara. Sure enough, as she started down the hallway, a blonde head poked out of the far doorway, brow furrowed.

"Back again?" she questioned. "Did you forget something here?"

"No, no, I didn't forget anything," Cat said as she reached her and stood until Kara motioned her into the room.

There were definitely more stray paint stains on her fingers, and she went to her easel and rinsed out a brush before laying it in its proper place. Cat stared at the painting which was still not finished, but already striking. The ocean was there, wild and dark and beautiful, with the sun just rising on the horizon and a multitude of colors spreading across the sky. There were three chairs on the beach in the foreground, and a surfboard stuck into the sand beside one of them.

Cat just stopped and looked at the painting, while Kara bit at her lip and finally stepped forward to block the view.

"It's not done yet," she mumbled.

"It's beautiful," Cat replied.

Kara shrugged in that self-effacing way she always did when any compliment was paid. Cat knew it would be along time, perhaps years, before Kara would be able to accept one and believe it.

"You didn't tell me why you are home again. Is it Carter?" Kara completed her thought on a tone of alarm.

"Carter is fine. Still in school, no doubt and then he has chess club, remember."

Cat fidgeted, unsure of exactly what to say. She moved to the padded chest at the foot of the bed and sat down. It was a new addition to the room, and held Kara's unused painting supplies. She patted the space next to her, and Kara looked worried again as she sat down on the very edge of the cushion.

"Someone came to see me after lunch," Cat began. "Someone who'd read my article over the weekend and wanted to talk to me about it."

Those words did nothing to calm the other woman who clenched her hands together and pushed down on her right leg to keep it from shaking.

"What? Who was it? What's going to happen to me?" Kara said in a hushed voice.

"Dammit, no matter how I say this, it's never going to be easy," Cat grumbled. "Kara, calm down. Everything is fine. Hell, everything is better than fine."

Reaching over, she hesitated only a moment before settling her hand over Kara's.

"It was Alex, Kara. Your sister," she said quietly, eyes kind and soft as they searched Kara's face for a reaction.

"Wh- what? Al- Alex? Alex came to see you?" Kara's voice rose and then cracked.

In one fluid motion she was on her feet, hands pressed to her chest, eyes darting from the door to the bed, to Cat.

"It - That's not safe!" she insisted. "She shouldn't have done that! Someone might have seen her. Might have wondered why she was there. Might have called th-them! He has people everywhere! She could be in danger right now!"

Kara was getting increasingly agitated, and Cat stood up and gripped her shoulders firmly, only slightly surprised when the other woman easily broke free and batted her hands away in a move that would surely leave bruises.

"Kara!" Cat spoke loudly, cutting through the haze fogging Kara's mind. "Trust me when I tell you, she is fine. She will be fine." She put her hands back on Kara's shoulders and this time they went lax beneath her grip. "I am quite sure she can take care of herself."

"She went through so much because of me," Kara whispered. "I can't let anything else happen to her."

"And we won't," Cat assured her, "not to mention the fact that she seems to be working with a somewhat capable group of people if her ability to enter CatCo and get to my office unseen is anything to go by."

When Kara had visibly relaxed, Cat felt safe to go on.

"She wants to see you, Kara," she said gently.

Kara shook her head. "She should stay far away from me."

"I received the distinct impression that she would not take no for an answer."

"She really wants to see me?" Kara sounded so small and Cat's hands curled into fists as she pictured Max Lord's face.

"Yes. She's on her way here right now."

"Now? Right now?" and the fear was back, but it was more of a nervousness than the terror of moments earlier, and her hands were fluttering as she looked around her room as if unsure what to do.

"Why don't you take a moment and get the paint off your face so that she doesn't think I've put you to work redecorating the penthouse," Cat said lightly. "I will go and wait for her to arrive."

Kara's only answer was to rush to the bathroom, and Cat headed back to the living room. She only had to wait for a few minutes before there was a knock on the door. She opened it and didn't bother asking how Alex had gotten past the doorman and the building security system. She did make a note to have the system upgraded immediately.

The Alex that entered the penthouse was slightly different than the one Cat had met at CatCo. This one looked less sure of herself, less guarded and more anxious. She peered around hesitantly.

"Is she here?"

"Yes, I told her you'd come to see me and she was a bit... alarmed," Cat said judiciously. She forestalled any questions when she quickly went on saying, "she was worried for your safety. Afraid Lord would track you down."

Alex straightened and the strength and hardness was again visible, her dark eyes turning cold and piercing.

"She doesn't need to worry about that. I can definitely deal with that bastard and anyone he wants to send after me, and I have more than a few people watching my back."

"I assumed as much," Cat nodded, "and tried to reassure her. I'm sure she will be out in just a minute. Come and have a seat."

The CEO walked to the pair of sofas that faced each other and still allowed a perfect view of the city. Alex didn't really want to sit. Her natural state was one of perpetual motion, but she perched on the sofa opposite Cat and tapped her fingers on her knees. Cat watched her and spoke without thinking.

"You seem in much better shape than your sister, if you'll pardon me saying so."

Alex huffed out a breath and sarcasm bled through her reply.

"You mean because I'm talking and not afraid of my own shadow?"

"Something like that," Cat answered.

She knew she should be ashamed of pushing this woman who had lived through hell, but her reporter instincts ran deep. She was grateful that Alex seemed willing to humor her.

"They didn't torture me the way they did Kara," she said flatly.

"How would you know? From what little she told me, I gathered she didn't know you were there until the night you both escaped."

"Yeah, they kept us apart," Alex said and then gave a hollow sounding laugh. "But they kept a video screen in my cell. They showed me ever damn thing they did to her. I only continued to train and fight because that sonofabitch Lord told me if I didn't - If I let myself get killed - he'd just make it worse for her. I couldn't imagine what "worse" could possibly be and I sure as hell wasn't going to let it happen."

She brushed angrily at her eyes and Cat tactfully looked away.

"That sounds a lot like psychological torture to me," was all she said.

Alex said nothing and just kept her eyes focused on the the carpet. She looked up when she heard the tiniest of coughs, and the tears she had brushed away were instantly replaced.

Kara stood between living room and kitchen, fingers plucking nervously at the yellow sundress she wore, and then moving to brush stray hairs from her face. When she had first caught sight of Alex, it had felt as if her heart was at once seized in a vice and then suddenly released to float out of her body like some small bird that was eager to sing. Then, as her eyes met those of her sister, her breath caught and she choked back a sob as she moved forward without even realizing she was in motion.

"Kara... Oh my God, Kara," Alex was on her feet at once and flew to the blonde, wrapping her in an embrace that would have been bone-crushing to anyone else. "Sweetie, oh my God, I didn't know if I'd ever see you again. I didn't know if he had you again. I wanted to look... I wanted to go back and make sure..."

There were words, emotions, things that Kara wanted to say but all she could do was cry into her sister's shoulder, breathing her in, feeling her beneath her hands, finally knowing and not just hoping that she was safe and whole. It took a long time for those heartbreaking sobs to fade and finally end, and meanwhile Alex had guided her to the sofa and never let go.

Cat felt like an interloper as she watched and tears filled her own eyes. She stood and quietly retreated to her bedroom, leaving the sisters to piece each other back together.

When Kara was at last breathing easier, interrupted only by sniffles, she pulled back slightly and looked into her sister's eyes, finding there the best friend, ally, confidante, and more. She had been so scared that what Lord had done to Alex had ruined that forever. Her face crumpled again when she spoke.

"I'm so sorry, Alex. I'm sorry! Everything that happened... And it was all my fault... I didn't hide fast enough... I should have been stronger!"

"What? Kara! No!" Alex pulled the woman in close again. "Kara, you saved a damn plane! You saved my life! Nothing that happened afterwards was your fault. Nothing! Do you hear me? God, Kara, I'm just so glad that you're alive. That you're here... Please don't apologize to me. Please. I love you, Kara. That hasn't changed. If I'm upset about anything it's that you didn't leave me there when you broke out. You took a huge risk taking me with you."

"I love you too," Kara murmured, slightly muffled against Alex's neck. "I could never leave you there. Never."

Alex sensed another burst of emotions coming and rubbed her sister's back soothingly.

"Shh... Shhh... The Danvers sisters are together again."


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Kara and a very uneasy Cat...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for sticking with this, everyone! I hope this chapter meets expectations.

Chapter Nineteen

The clouds that had threatened earlier, had opened up over National City, and a steady rain fell onto streets and cars and people. The usually colorful city was now painted in muted shades, the dull light from overhead making it seem later than it was.

Despite the rain, once she had calmed down, Kara tentatively asked her sister if they could sit on the balcony to talk. Alex was so surprised and heartened by Kara asking for anything at all, that she immediately agreed and they went outside. The balcony was covered, and mostly sheltered from the rain other than a foot or so near the railing where raindrops spotted the concrete.

They both sat on the cushioned sofa, unwilling to be separated even a few inches. Kara curled into Alex's side, and the older woman wrapped an arm around her and held on tightly. She let her cheek rest against Kara's soft hair, and breathed in the scent of the rain mixed with citrus-scented shampoo. A comfortable quiet settled over them for a long while before Alex spoke again.

"The city is beautiful from up here," she began.

Kara nodded. "I like to come out here for the sunrise. At first I was afraid, but Cat helped."

"She seems to have helped a lot, but she told me she met you when you rescued her in the park."

A delicate shiver ran through the blonde.

"Was that right after we... left?" Alex asked, not wanting to mention LordTech at all.

"I think so?" Kara said hesitantly. "A day or two later? Things were foggy for me..."

Those first few days were still a blur that Kara preferred not to think too much about.

"But then she rescued me too. I was hurt, and she brought me here and had a doctor - "

"A doctor?" Alex sat up, alarmed. "She let someone else know you were here? What the hell was she thinking?"

"He knew my cousin," Kara whispered, and Alex instantly calmed and looked down into tearful eyes.

"Clark? I mean, Kal?"

"Mmm-hmm. They were friends... Before..."

Both women let out small little sighs, remembering.

"He had a picture of us from when we were kids," Kara continued. "It hurt to see it. I missed you so much and I was so afraid that something would happen to you if I let Cat look for you."

Alex was surprised. She had assumed that Cat had kept Kara here, isolated, a ready source for her news stories, and would have no interest in helping the alien find her family.

"She wanted to find me?"

"She asked a few times, but I kept telling her no, and I got upset and hurt her the last time she offered," Kara said, feeling ashamed as she remembered that, although Cat had never blamed her.

"H-how?"

"I pushed her over. She landed on a table," Kara replied, her sentences becoming short and staccato as they still did when she was feeling uncomfortable speaking. "I thought she would make me leave."

"But she obviously didn't."

Kara shook her head. "She's been wonderful."

Alex looked skeptical, and was glad that Kara couldn't see her face as they had resumed their positions cuddled together.

"She seems nice enough," she said slowly, weighing each word as if convincing herself of their veracity. "You seem comfortable here."

"I am," Kara told her, a little surprised herself as she admitted it.

"Kara, I still have my old apartment here. I'm working a lot - well, two jobs really - but you'd be safe there too. I could look out for you. I have friends now who would help look out for you too."

Pulling back a bit, Kara looked at her sister, brows knit together.

"Friends? Who would... And they would know?"

Alex's lips formed a tight line as she thought of what to say, and she took a deep breath before speaking.

"As soon as I got out of the hospital, I got a job at NCC, teaching, and then I started asking about any aliens in the city, every chance I got. Dive bars, little hole-in-the-wall bookstores, basement cafes... You name it. I guess persistence paid off and this detective from the science division came knocking on my door one night. She took me to a place - a dive bar," she said with a huff of a laugh and a quirked brow, "and there were aliens there. People who have been working for alien rights. People who knew Dad," she whispered.

"Oh Alex..." Kara reached out and Alex grabbed her hand on instinct.

"There's a group, and they aren't exactly official, but they have some underground support from the government, and, well, they kinda hired me?"

"So what? You're a spy now?" Kara exclaimed and a little frightened for her sister.

"More like a special agent," Alex said, tilting her head back and forth. "I told them everything I know about the Alpha fights and they've been trying to infiltrate them for ages, but now between me and, well, you... There's a lot of evidence of the illegal stuff that's been going on."

Kara looked alarmed. "I - I don't want to talk to anyone about - "

"Shh... shhh... You don't have to. I mean, I admit, I kinda thought Ms Grant was only keeping you around so she could write her articles, but..."

"No," the younger Danvers insisted. "She's never made me talk about anything. What she put in her first article... Yes, some of it was about me, but just what she learned from me living here. Things would make me react and I'd explain." 

Kara remembered some of those emotional conversations and she remembered the things LordTech had done to her to cause those reactions. Her eyes had a faraway look for a moment before she snapped back to herself. 

"She would never, ever use me like that, Alex."

"You seem very sure of that for someone who has only known her for a couple of months."

Alex was staring, her silence asking more than words. Kara felt heat rise to her cheeks and she let out a breath and stared down at her hands.

"Alex, there's nothing... she's just trying to help me get my life back."

"I believe you," Alex replied firmly.

Silence fell once more and this time Alex was more reluctant to break it, but she knew she had to ask.

"You don't want to come with me, do you? You want to stay here," she tried to keep the sadness out of her voice, but Kara was her sister.

"Alex, it's not... I love you... I just... I..." She fumbled for inadequate words. "I haven't left the penthouse since I got here except for one week. We went to the beach and I was mostly afraid to go far from the house. I'm getting better... I know I am... But I'm... I'm still an Alph-"

"No you are not!" Alex shouted, almost enraged. "You never were. You aren't. You couldn't hurt me!"

"But I did hurt you," Kara mumbled, and lightly touched Alex's knee brace. "I'm just so grateful that I didn't do more."

Alex wanted to stop that line of thought immediately and she picked up Kara's hand and squeezed.

"So you're afraid to be around people," Alex stated clearly, and Kara nodded.

"At least here, I feel safe, and Cat, she's been helping me. She works with me to get me used to being touched again, and her son - "

"She has a son?"

"Carter," Kara affirmed. "And she - she trusts me around him. And he trusts me. He likes me!"

Alex smiled, though it was watery, "Well of course he does. You're very likable."

"But Alex, if you want me to come with you, then that's what - "

A strong hand on her arm stopped Kara from finishing her thought, and she looked down at it and then up into the most loving brown eyes she had ever seen.

"Kara, I don't want you to do anything that you don't absolutely want to do. You are your own person and you can make your own decisions."

Nodding tearfully, Kara laid her hand on top of her sister's and squeezed lightly.

"I just love you so much, Alex."

Pulling her forward and into her embrace so that she could hide her own tears, Alex murmured, "I know you do. I know. You've proven that to me over and over. And you know I love you. Just because you're living here doesn't mean you're gonna get rid of me, I hope you know."

She felt Kara hug her tighter and closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of that strong embrace.

"We could have Sister Night here, and lunches, and visits. Cat set me up with a phone and email and you're gonna get sick of me texting you."

Alex let out a muffled laugh, imagining all the emojis that Kara would send. And cat videos. And puppies.

"But Alex," Kara held on tight as she voiced her fears, "I don't like you working for some secret group. I don't want you in danger because of me. I couldn't bear it if anything else happened to you."

"Nothing is going to happen to me, and any danger is because of me, not you. Don't ever think otherwise. It's a tight-knit group. Everyone looks out for each other. I promise, I'm in good hands. I'm safe."

The sigh of relief was audible, though deep in her mind, Kara still harbored fears for her sister, and she knew mere words couldn't erase them. 

They sat there, watching the rain and easing back to hold each other lightly, the way they often had while watching some cheesy movie on Kara's old sofa. A slight tremor ran through Alex's body and Kara startled and looked down at her.

"It's getting cold, and I didn't notice," she said guiltily.

"You kept me warm enough," Alex told her with a calm smile.

"We should still go in. I can make you tea."

While they walked back into the penthouse, Alex considered what to say next, and decided that being forthright was the best option.

"I'd actually like to talk to Ms Grant again. For her story," she clarified when Kara turned to question her.

"You do?"

"I'll do whatever it takes to bring that bastard down, Kara. I know you can't talk about it, but I can, and I want everyone to know what goes on there."

An uneasy expression fell over Kara's features and she said, "I can't - I won't listen to you talk about that. I can't..."

"Hey, hey," Alex saw Kara retreating into her mind and pulled her back with her words. "I know that. I wouldn't ask you to do that. And I know you'd be able to hear us if we talked here, so we won't. I just want to set something up with her."

Kara still didn't look comfortable, but she bit her lip and nodded.

"That would be okay," she said in a small voice. "I'll just put on the tea and then I'll go and get her. I think she must be in her room or the study, trying to give us some privacy."

It only took a few minutes for Kara to have water set to boiling and mugs arranged on the counter. Alex waited in the living room and watched as her sister moved easily around the kitchen. She looked comfortable, and Alex was grateful. Giving a little wave, Kara headed down the hallway to find Cat.

She checked the study first, but the light was off and it was empty. The master bedroom door was closed, but Kara saw a sliver of light underneath it. She knocked lightly and heard Cat telling her to come in.

Once opened, the door revealed Cat Grant, still dressed for the office, sitting on her bed, leaning against the pillows, with her ankles crossed, laptop perched on her thighs, and papers spread out around her. With her glasses balanced on the end of her nose, she looked both studious and rather adorable, Kara thought. That last was not something Kara had ever thought of the woman before, and she was surprised at herself.

"So, I assume things are going well," Cat said, barely looking up before concentrating on her computer again. "You don't need to pack anything. I can arrange for a mover to deliver your things to your sister's address."

"Wh-what?" Kara stuttered out, face grown pale.

"I'm sure this won't be the last we see of each other, so there's no need for goodbyes really. I'll handle Carter."

"You- You're making me leave?"

And the tiny barely-there voice made Cat look up and take her glasses off as she stared at the woman standing stock-still in the doorway. She had tried to keep herself busy while giving the Danvers sisters time alone, but truthfully she was still working on the first document she'd opened. Thoughts of the conversation going on in her living room had bled through her concentration. She'd imagined the inevitable conversation that Kara would then have with her. She'd practically heard the other woman telling her that she was leaving.

She'd repeatedly told herself that was to be expected. That being with her sister would be better for her. That even two months didn't really make them anything to one another. Friends, perhaps. Kara probably saw her more as mentor than anything else. There was no sentiment involved there. Absolutely not. She told herself she was coming down with a cold when her throat started to hurt with the strain of swallowing down her emotions.

But now Kara was standing there looking uncannily like a just-kicked puppy and Cat was left staring at her with her mouth opened in a wide O of surprise. Before she could even gather her thoughts, Kara was speaking again.

"I think I can find something to carry my clothes. You should give the paints to Carter," and then she was spinning around to leave.

"Wait! Kara, wait, come back in here!" Cat pushed her laptop to the side and hopped off the bed as quickly as she could, meeting the other blonde as she took a hesitant step back into the bedroom.

"You've been so kind, I really can't thank - "

"Stop that already," Cat snapped, before she touched her temple and took a breath. "I mean... Dammit, I don't know what I mean. Kara, I'm not kicking you out!"

"But you just- "

"I assumed you'd want to go. I assumed that's what you came in here to tell me. I was simply... Beating you to the punch, I suppose."

Kara still looked confused and Cat met her eyes and a slight quiver pulled her lips into a split second of an abashed smile before she admitted quietly, "I prefer to be the one to end things."

"I don't want to end anything," Kara said, equally quietly, her gaze slipping before flitting back to Cat's face.

"Well... Then... I guess you're staying, and this is awkward," Cat replied, trying and failing to give a convincing laugh.

"Are you sure?" Kara asked, and she would have gone on, but Cat reached for her and delicately touched her elbow.

"I'm sure. Stop worrying. I was trying to make things easier, and stuck my foot in my mouth." She paused before giving a conspiratorial look. "Don't you dare tell anyone. I have a reputation to uphold."

Finally letting out a breath she'd felt like she'd been holding forever, Kara smiled. It was a gentle smile, but it made Cat forget that it was raining outside and she then mentally berated herself for letting her emotions run away with her again.

"I actually came to get you because of Alex. She wants to talk to you. About everything. You know... that happened to us," Kara told her haltingly. "She wanted to set something up at your office."

"Of course," Cat said, and then seemed to realize that she was still touching Kara's arm and she pulled her arm back, trying to ignore the tingling in her fingertips. "And she should stay for dinner. I'm sure Carter would love to meet her."

"Really?" Kara knew that Cat didn't let just anyone socialize with her son.

"She's your family, Kara. She'll always be welcome here." Especially when she's not leaving with you, she thought in her head.

"Thank you, Cat," Kara said, smiling again, this time full and bright. "I'll go tell her and you can join us when you're ready."

She practically floated back down the hallway and Cat watched her go and wondered if letting her go now wouldn't actually be easier than waiting for some inevitable "someday".


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex tells her story, Kara makes some progress.

Chapter Twenty

At first the changes were subtle, but Cat saw them. She noticed everything. The other papers started putting out fewer stories in the sports section featuring the Alpha fights. None of those editors would admit that Cat's expose series was the reason, but they'd received letters from their subscribers, and those subscribers were tired of seeing violence glorified. Carter mentioned that hardly anyone wore Alpha fight t-shirts to school.

Cat wanted to publish every other week, and so she agreed to meet with Alex at her earliest convenience. That had ended up being a week later, and Cat had wanted to argue to push the meeting up, but something about Alex Danvers kept her from her usual acerbic demands. Instead, she had cleared her afternoon for the following Monday, and sat at her desk fussing over layouts while waiting for the elder Danvers sister to arrive.

Alex was precisely on time. She walked through the bullpen with the same air of strength and control she'd displayed during her last visit, and swept past Joan's desk with hardly a sideways glance. Cat was standing up by the time she pulled the door open and entered.

"Ms Danvers," Cat said, deferentially.

It was not a tone she often adopted, but this was Kara's sister. This woman had been through something hellish and had come out stronger and ready to fight to avenge herself and everyone else LordTech had hurt. She was also the woman who, with a few well-placed words, could probably make Kara pack up and leave without looking back. She deserved a measure of respect.

"Ms Grant," Alex replied politely.

"Drink?" Cat asked as she walked over to the bar.

It was only two o'clock but she didn't imagine that Alex would refuse, knowing what she was here to talk about.

"Sure," Alex watched Cat pour amber liquid into cut glass crystal. "Whatever you're having."

"I'm having an excellent scotch, which I'm guessing is right up your alley."

Alex raised one eyebrow, but the other woman wasn't wrong.

"Kara said to say 'hello' to you," Alex said as the CEO sat down on the sofa opposite her after handing her a glass.

Cat knew that the sisters had planned on having lunch together, and was pleased to hear that Kara had bothered to pass along even so short a message. She swirled the ice in her glass before taking a sip. Alex watched her, studying her, but said nothing.

"I'm used to being the one in charge during interviews, but in this case, I think you'd probably prefer just telling me what you're comfortable with," Cat said after they had both half-drained their glasses.

"I'm not exactly 'comfortable' with any of it, but I'm willing to tell you anyway. The more we can sway public opinion in our favor, the quicker we can shut those bastards down."

"Currently charges could already be made against them for what they did to you. Why didn't you go to the police?"

"I didn't know where Kara was. He could have recaptured her for all I knew, and he had told me what he'd do to her if I ever escaped," Alex said bitterly. "This will be better anyway. If we can get a full investigation into them, there's no doubt LordTech and Cadmus will be shut down."

"Do you want to start with when they kidnapped you?" Cat asked carefully.

"Sure. They grabbed me one night after I'd spent too long in a club trying to drink away my guilt," Alex admitted. "You know she only revealed her powers because of me. She saved a plane that was going down, and I was on that plane."

Cat could see the layers of self-recrimination that lay heavily over the other woman and her sympathy grew.

"The plane was crashing right here in the city. She might have gone after it anyway," she suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," Alex replied, finishing her scotch and putting the glass down with a dull thud.

"Anyway, they didn't waste any time letting me know they had her." Alex's eyes turned glassy as she remembered. "It had only been a few months, but she was already so broken. She was still talking then, and they showed me closed-circuit tv of when they interrogated her. They were always trying to get her to say who else knew about her. As if they didn't already have me! And she was so strong... So strong," she whispered, trailing off. "Eventually she stopped saying anything at all."

There was a small device on the coffee table, set to record the conversation, but Cat doubted that she'd forget a single word.

"They wanted her broken down to nothing but bare instinct," Alex explained. "And the only way they could do that was attacking her physically and mentally." She shook her head ruefully. "They used to hurt her more when I didn't train hard enough."

"I don't think they needed any excuse," Cat interjected gently.

Alex scoffed and wouldn't look at her.

"You know, she landed here on Earth late. She was supposed to take care of her cousin - and he grew up to be Superman before she ever landed."

"What happened?" Cat asked, curiously.

"Her pod was trapped in something called The Phantom Zone. She was in stasis for years before something pulled her free. After she got here, she was practically afraid to sleep, afraid to be alone. She'd wake up screaming and then she'd crawl into my bed."

"Sounds like you were a good sister," Cat remarked.

"Once I got over my teen angst, yeah," Alex said, then grew quiet for a minute.

"They used to throw her into a sensory deprivation tank for hours - days. At first she'd scream and scream but after a while... she just gave up."

Cat sat back, stunned although she was sure she'd be hearing much worse, there was something so sadistic about the picture Alex was painting that she needed another drink. She took Alex's glass and brought her back a refill as well.

"She's safe now," Cat reminded them both, when she returned.

Alex looked at her with a look that might have been gratitude and replied, "Yes, safe, and getting better."

For the next hour, Alex gave Cat the details of her captivity. The harsh treatment, isolation, repeated threats any time she seemed driven to try to escape. Lord had told everyone at the facility that she was another prisoner and that her claims of being kidnapped were attempts to trick them into freeing her. He visited her weekly - sometimes more - and was always sure to hold Kara's treatment over her. After the first month, she had stopped begging them to just punish her when she failed to run fast enough or punch hard enough or finish an impossible obsticle course. It was obvious they were just looking for excuses to lay guilt at her feet. It worked, but she refused to give them any further satisfaction. They would make her sit and watch her sister's torture, but she would dig her nails into her thighs and clench her teeth and never give them one more tear.

Cat had expected that Alex would be the one to call an end to the interview if she reached the end of her emotional endurance, but the younger woman seemed determined to give voice to every atrocity and injustice to ensure that someone answered for them. Cat felt her own mental resolve faltering when the story involved Kara. Nausea roiled her stomach and she could feel the prickle of sweat at the back of her neck. When Alex started speaking of what had to be the final weeks before the fight between the sisters when Kara had been brought to some medical wing and then thrown in her cell screaming in pain, Cat had heard enough.

"I - I think that's good," she said, clearing her throat as she reached forward and turned off the recording device.

Alex blinked a few times and looked at her. She had gone deep into her mind and memories and tried to detach her emotions as she retold her story, and it took her a moment to settle back to the present. Safe. Strong. Fighting back. Working with Cat Grant to prevent anyone else from going through her or her sister's experiences.

She studied Cat's face, taking in the pale complexion and slight shine to her eyes and the way she visibly swallowed several times in a row.

"Is everything all right?" she asked, only slightly puzzled by the other woman's visceral reaction. The fact was that any good person would shudder at hearing such things, but she thought that Cat's feelings were brought on by more than generic moral indignation.

Cat cleared her throat again and picked up her empty glass, raised it to her lips, put it down again and then pinched the bridge of her nose with her other hand. She didn't know how to properly answer.

"It's - difficult - to hear about anyone being put through what you've described," were the words she settled on.

"You mean it's difficult to hear about Kara being put through those things," Alex corrected, knowingly.

Cat shot her a look but nodded nonetheless.

"Fine. The fact that you're talking about her does make it harder," she admitted.

The two women stared at each other for a beat, waiting for someone to make the next move.

"And you're sure you don't feel anything for Kara? There's nothing going on between you and my sister?" Alex asked, eyes narrowed as if she would be able to spot the slightest lie.

"Oh for goodness' sake. You've met your sister. She's a damn golden retriever of goodness and she's been horribly abused. Of course I feel something for her. That doesn't mean it's romantic. It doesn't mean anything is "going on"," she emphasized the words with sarcasm, "and "going on"? What are we, in high school?"

The response was pure Cat Grant, and most people would have shrunk back, but Alex held steady. Cat might have convinced herself, but she wasn't convincing the protective older sister.

"Fine. Just so we're clear," Alex replied. "She's not your pet. Or your science experiment. I find out you've hurt her, and it won't go well for you."

Cat rolled her eyes and said, "Duly noted," but in the back of her mind she knew Alex was not kidding around.

That seemed to placate Alex, and she let the sharp fierceness slip from her eyes. The two women continued to talk - mostly about Kara - and a certain respect for one another seemed to take hold.

Kara refused to read that article when it was published that weekend, but thousands of other people did, and it not only turned the majority against LordTech and Cadmus, it also prompted them to call for investigations into both companies and anyone else involved in the Alpha fights. People were not only disgusted by the treatment of seemingly innocent subjects of Cat's stories, they were questioning everything, including the continued imprisonment of aliens who might have long-since served out their sentences. The government was being blamed for lack of oversight, and while the DEO remained a hidden entity, major changes in leadership were taking place.

Carter was the one who, after explaining how his classmates had been talking about all of the Alphas and how badly they felt for them, encouraged Kara to finally leave the penthouse.

"I swear, Kara, even if anyone knew about you, they wouldn't care. They wouldn't be afraid of you," he urged, when she shook her head. "Mom, tell her. You've seen it too. It's not just CatCo that's against the fights now, I see stuff in all sorts of magazines and newspapers."

Kara still looked doubtful.

"Really," she said, "I'm fine here."

"But the ice cream at this place is amazing and you love ice cream!"

It was true. They Kryptonian loved most food, but ice cream was a particular favorite and Cat kept their freezer fully stocked.

"Mom!"

Cat finally allowed herself to be drawn into the argument with a long-suffering sigh.

"Yes, yes, the ice cream is spectacular," she said blandly, but then looked over at Kara's hesitant, hopeful face, and softened her tone. "It might be the perfect place for a first outing, Kara. You can't just stay here forever."

"But-"

"You're not going to hurt anyone," Cat assured her, knowing that would be her fear.

Kara pouted, which was something she had only recently started to do, and which never failed to bring a foolish grin to Cat's face. One which she always quickly hid behind her hand.

"It's nearby?"

"Just a block and a half away," Carter promised. "You can walk between me and Mom and you won't even have to worry about anyone else touching you."

Kara smiled at Carter's thoughtfulness. She couldn't say no to him when he looked at her like that.

"Okay, let's go," Kara released a quick, nervous breath but tried to keep her smile.

She pulled on a sweater that fell over her wrists, hiding the tell-tale LordTech scars, but by midway through the trip, it was clear she hadn't needed to bother. No one gave her a second thought, except as a companion to the famous Cat Grant, and with Carter there, they seemed to assume she was merely the nanny and even the paparazzi left them alone.

At the ice cream parlor, Carter insisted that Kara get the giant twelve-scoop sundae and then watched in amazement when she finished the entire thing. Cat found herself laughing along with Carter and then even Kara relaxed. She even agreed to take a quick walk through the park in front of the penthouse. Carter ran ahead, while Cat and Kara admired the changing colors of the leaves. National City never had a proper snowy winter, but they did have some change in the seasons, and autumn turned the trees glowing shades of red, yellow and orange. Kara loved them, and she loved the way the sunlight cast dappled golden shadows on the walkway. The warm colors reminded her of her home planet. She couldn't wait to get back and paint.

"You like this season," Cat said kindly as she looked at Kara's contented expression, her face taking on the same golden glow as the leaves.

Kara blushed and nodded. "It's always been my favorite," she admitted.

"Well now that we've managed to pry you out of the penthouse, we can take more walks and I can show you all of my own favorite places."

Kara looked mildly surprised. "You like looking at the foliage?"

Pretending to be mildly affronted, Cat gave a little huff, but before Kara could launch into a round of apologies, she reassured her with a small pat on her arm.

"Shocking as it may seem, even the Queen of All Media enjoys a few things outside her newsroom.

"Then I would love it if you shared that with me," Kara said shyly, and Cat tried to squash the pleased feeling that rose at the same rate as the younger woman's blush.

Trips out of the penthouse came more frequently after that day. Not every day, and Kara still flinched at loud noises or the sudden movements of strangers, but it was progress. It was enough of an improvement that Kara finally allowed Alex to call her mother and tell her that Kara was free and safe in National City.

The younger woman hadn't been ready for the effusive attention that Eliza was sure to bring with her. When Alex brought her to the penthouse two days later, Kara was not sorry that she had waited. The visit was filled with a lot of tears and more than a few insistent requests for Kara to return to Midvale. Alex, looking between her nervous sister and her mother had intervened, and while a trip in the future was planned, Eliza eventually agreed that Kara was better off staying in her now familiar surroundings.

That visit came just a day before the third article was published, and again Kara refused to read it. That article, however, was the one that pushed the public outcry to such a level that the President herself announced that there would be an investigation into both companies involved with the Alpha fights and that until the completion of that investigation, the fights were to be suspended.

It should have been incredible, joyous, satisfying news, but when Kara saw it on the noontime news, she just felt a horrible sense of emptiness. Perhaps some justice would come about, but it couldn't change what had been done to her. Despite all of the gains she had made, in the middle of the night, deep in her mind, she still saw herself as that barely-sane creature, curled in a ball in the corner of her cell.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another slightly shorter chapter, but perhaps you prefer more frequent, shorter, chapters?

Chapter Twenty-One

Three months. That was how long it took for indictments to be handed down after Cat's first Alpha fights article was published. A month after the last one was published. The news was being splashed over all the networks - her own included, of course - and it did bring a feeling of smug satisfaction to see a stock photo of Maxwell Lord with a list of criminal charges below it. Just that morning, she had received yet another vitriolic email from him, and it was with a mixture of disgust and satisfaction that she thought perhaps this would curb any further correspondence.

Cat was in her office at CatCo, watching her wall of screens, and mostly ignoring the chatter going on behind her in the bullpen. A few of her editors had dropped by to give their congratulations, but she didn't need affirmation of the fact that with a few thousand words, she had brought about an enormous change in social views and policy. Her employees, and even competitors, some of whom had called or emailed that morning, felt that the accolades being tossed her way were well-deserved. Normally she would have gloated, done a press conference of her own, and then rung Barbara Walters to see when she wanted her to appear in her next television special.

This time, her thoughts were centered not on herself and her work, but on the woman in her penthouse half-way across the city. It seemed her thoughts often drifted in that direction. She repeatedly told herself it was nothing and tried to remember to make an appointment with her therapist.

She had told Kara that a source in the Justice Department had let her know that indictments were coming within the week. Since the investigation had started, bits and pieces of information had slipped out to the media at large. There were hints about illegal medical experiments, a few photographs of deplorable living conditions, emails from anonymous former employees-turned-informants. Kara always turned off the television or left the room when those stories were featured on the various newscasts.

It had been a little over five months since that horrible night Kara had fled from LordTech. Cat had thought that the change in public sentiment, and the criminal investigation into the fights would help Kara heal. She had thought that seeing and hearing that people were on her side and didn't approve of what had happened in there would help her to see herself differently.

And in some ways, it had. Cat made a point of getting Kara out of the penthouse at least three times a week, and cajoling was no longer necessary. They'd gone to museums and restaurants and parks. Quiet places where she wouldn't be crowded. Alex had been a constant source of encouragement as well, taking her sister to the meet other aliens, getting her to laugh at stupid movies and reminisce about their childhood together without crying. It had been a healing time for both of them. But weeks of peace and safety could not erase the effects of years in captivity, and Kara couldn't seem to shake off a cloak of trepidation which seemed always draped around her.

Kara was coming in from lunch on the balcony when she saw the news reports about the indictments. The television had been left on to make the penthouse seem less empty with Carter at school and Cat at work. During her first weeks, the silence hadn't bothered her as much, but now she had become used to the presence of the Grants and her sister. Alex had stopped by for lunch just two days ago, but had told Kara that she was leaving on a special mission and might not be back for a few days. It was difficult not to worry incessantly, and she was glad that Alex texted frequently enough to put her mind at ease.

It also helped that Kara had met the people Alex worked with in her second - and becoming more dominant - job. Since the beginning of the government's investigation, the alien and human coalition in National City had been pressed into service by the newly reconfigured DEO.

President Marsden had been furious when she had been told that the DEO had not been overseeing the operations at LordTech and Cadmus. She knew, of course, about the release of Fort Rozz prisoners to the two entities, but had assumed that careful watch was being maintained and the Geneva Convention standards followed. General Lane had been happy enough to know that the aliens were being dealt with, and hadn't cared in the least if they were mistreated. When he tried to backpedal from his obvious anti-alien stance, he only made himself look worse, and President Marsden had removed him from his post, along with most of the rest of the top-ranking DEO officers.

A new crop of more open minded officers had replaced them, and the new leadership had sought greater insight into the aliens they were meant to be both protecting and guarding against, when necessary. With the largest known contingent of aliens in the nation, National City had become the new base of operations, and select aliens and humans had been recruited; Alex among them. With her personal interest as well as her background in biomedical engineering, and ironically, her fighting skills, she was an obvious asset.

Kara had flatly informed Alex that she would not talk about her experiences to anyone at the DEO, and her sister had respected that, but she had pushed for her to at least go in for a proper medical check-up. The former leader of the underground coalition - and last Green Martian - had become a member of the DEO along with Alex, and his presence there helped to reassure Kara. Alex had introduced them during Kara's first evening out with her, and the two 'last survivors' had formed an instant bond.

With him and Alex at her side, Kara had even agreed to attempt using her powers again within the controlled confines of a DEO training room. Unfortunately, the horrible pain which had taken over the last time she had tried to use them, crashed over her again like a wave, sending her to her knees in anguish. Alex had fallen beside her and wrapped her in her arms, telling her that she didn't need to try anymore. Kara had nodded her head in relief, but at the back of her mind was always the grief over LordTech stripping something so fundamental from her even now that she was free.

That feeling of loss pressed in on Kara again when she saw Maxwell Lord's face splashed on the screen as the CatCo anchor woman detailed the charges against him. She knew she should be feeling vindication or at least some smidgen of relief, but there was nothing. He had taken her freedom, her powers and her very sanity, and while she had regained some things, she knew she was not, and would never be, the same woman he had captured.

Cat and Alex and even Carter, were always quick to encourage Kara and to tell her how far she had come from her first days of freedom. She was talking and painting and going out. There had even been some talk about possibly taking a job within CatCo. They didn't see every flinch that happened when she was out in public, or even safe in the penthouse. They didn't know how she tensed up, afraid of what she could do. They didn't see her wake up from nightmares, sweaty and wide-eyed, but stifling her cries. They also didn't know how often Cat was featured in those dreams, with the feelings she tamped down in her waking hours, rising up to bring terror and grief when Cat was injured by her own hand, and then cradled in her arms, loving touches begging forgiveness. Those dreams were the worst, and Kara always found herself avoiding Cat's eyes later, as if she would be able to read Kara's feelings in her face, though the younger woman herself could barely understand them.

A sudden breeze from the balcony pulled Kara from her thoughts, and she clicked off the television and headed towards her room to paint. She could always find refuge there, the one thing LordTech hadn't managed to taint. She was just mixing colors on her palette when a light knock on the door startled her.

Cat would never have sent anyone to the penthouse without alerting her, and she hesitantly made her way to the door. With X-Ray vision unavailable to her, she used the peep-hole to catch sight of the visitor and then let out a breath of relief as she unlocked the door.

"Alex, I thought you would be gone the rest of the week," she said, questioningly.

Her sister wore a serious, almost somber, expression and Kara picked up on it at once, her own brows furrowing.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, locking the door again and following Alex to the living room.

Rather than take a seat, Alex started pacing in front of the balcony doors, her hands moving from hips, to crossed in front of her chest, to raking through her hair as she moved.

"It's not that something is wrong," she said, trying to alleviate Kara's worry. "Just something that happened on the mission and I need to tell you and I'm not sure how."

Kara had sat down and pulled a pillow onto her lap, and she held it tight as she said, "Well just tell me. This is only making me think the worst."

Alex stopped abruptly, folded her arms across her chest again and pursed her mouth before looking into Kara's eyes with nothing but care and sympathy.

"We found Kal," she said softly, as if saying it any louder would make the hearing more traumatic.

For a moment Kara just sat in stunned silence, not sure of the meaning of what she had just heard, and trying to piece it together in her mind.

"K-Kal-El? Y-you found him?" she stuttered, and when Alex nodded, she continued with, "I-is he alive?" and tried to keep her voice from cracking on the last word.

"Oh, yes! Sweetie, yes, he''s alive," Alex assured her as she moved to the sofa and sat down, pulling both of Kara's hands into her own.

"Where? What? Where is he?"

"You know the DEO has been going through Cadmus and LordTech data. That data, combined with the oversight visits that should have been happening all along, is what led to the indictments today."

Kara nodded along, but confusion was still on her face, not piecing together how this related to finding Kal-El.

"Some of what we found in emails and files led us to believe they were holding Kal-El. That's where I went. We staged a raid on the facility and we - we found him."

"And he's okay? Where is he now?"

Alex frowned and squeezed Kara's hands.

"It looks like he's been kept in a Kryptonite induced vegetative state for a very long time, Kara," and she could hardly bear to see the tears that rose in her sister's eyes. "We've moved him to the DEO facility here, but it could be a while before he comes out of it. We won't know more until he wakes up."

Kara swiped at her eyes and sniffled, staring down at her lap. Tears had been forbidden for so long and she still had a hard time showing them to anyone.

"I need to see him. Will I be allowed to see him?" she asked quietly.

"Of course! Yes. Absolutely. We just arrived this morning, and they are still getting him situated and running tests - well, I was running some of them - but tomorrow, if you want to go, I will take you to him."

"I need to see him," Kara repeated, as Alex pulled her into a tight embrace.

"You will, Kar. You'll see him tomorrow."

The next was spoken haltingly, as if she feared the response. "Will you stay with me until Carter gets home?"

There was too much going on. Too much in her mind. LordTech and Cadmus, and Maxwell Lord's face on the television, and criminal charges that spoke of the abuse she'd suffered, and now Kal... Kal-El alive. Alive after she'd thought she'd never see him again. El Mayara.

"Yes, I'll stay with you. I'll stay the night if you like, and in the morning we'll go and see your cousin."

The two sisters curled up together on the sofa then, and Alex turned the television to a mindless romantic comedy they'd seen a hundred times before. Kara, emotionally drained, fell asleep mid-way through, but Alex remained awake; vigilant even when it wasn't necessary. Kara had saved her once, but she was the older sister, and she was never going to let anything hurt Kara, ever again.

She thought about featureless grey walls, and fluorescent lights, boots echoing on cement floors and the smell of decay and antiseptic in equal measures. The workers at Cadmus had been given orders to let her team into any part of the facility when they'd arrived there at dawn, a surprise raid meant to catch anything that had been hidden away. The facility was different than LordTech, but similar enough to give Alex flashbacks as she led a group through what had to be a medical wing. LordTech had been more interested in training and brutalizing any infractions, while Cadmus seemed to have focused on experimenting on any alien - and some humans - who didn't win in the arena. And there, in one of the last rooms on the hall, had been a solitary bed, holding a man both familiar and foreign. He had aged, though not much, and his skin held an unnatural pallor. IVs leading to his arms delivered nutrients and a pale green fluid that Alex knew had to be a form of liquid Kryptonite. The machines attached to him were the only things that proved that he still lived.

Alex blinked and looked down at the blonde head resting on her lap. She pushed the thoughts of Cadmus and LordTech away, and concentrated on the feel of her sister's hair under her fingers. Then she eased her phone out of her pocket and called Cat Grant to give her advance notice of what she was going to find when she arrived home.

Across the country, someone else was also thinking about Kal-El. Money and power resulted in high-powered attorneys and a quick arraignment. By mid-afternoon, Maxwell Lord was back in his mansion, furious and indignant. The idea that alien lives were being measured as equal to human lives, and that his efforts to curb the menace were being seen as cruel and criminal absolutely enraged him.

His lawyers had told him that the DEO had discovered Kal-El, otherwise known as Superman, at the Cadmus facility and he knew that would be a publicity nightmare. He had told Lex Luthor to dispose of the Kryptonian numerous times, but the arrogant genius had always refused. Now that arrogance was going to hurt both of them.

But Lord reserved most of his anger for Cat Grant. If not for her articles, there would have been no investigation and no public outcry against the Alpha fights. Those ignorant people had no idea of the dangers the aliens they now wanted to protect could cause. He also remained convinced that his former pet subject had something to do with it all. Even given Cat's animosity towards him and the fights, there had to have been something more that spurred her to write her anti-fight series. She'd always viewed herself as a savior of sorts, and if she'd somehow run across Kara Zor-El Danvers, there was no way she would have been able to resist the urge to right whatever wrongs she foolishly deemed had been done.

If subject K had been involved, Lord only wished that she had snapped and killed Cat Grant. It would have been perfect justice as far as he was concerned. Perhaps that could still occur, but he would not depend upon it. In the meantime, he had people to call and plans to put in motion to ensure his own justice was done.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara visits Kal-El, with some unfortunate side events...

Chapter Twenty-Two

Cat hadn't thought she should go. In hissed whispers, late at night, Cat had called Alex and explained why she didn't think it would be a good idea for Kara to see Kal. She thought Kal should be in better condition before Kara saw him. She was doing so well, and Cat didn't want to see her have a setback. But Cat would never tell Kara what to do when it came to her family. It went against all that she was trying to give the other woman. So instead, she called her sister, trying to convince her to think of some reason to postpone the visit. Unfortunately, Alex couldn't think of any reasonable excuse to keep the cousins apart, and she wasn't about to lie to Kara. Instead, Alex had arrived early to pick Kara up, and Cat had given her usual farewell and watched her go.

The black DEO vehicle sped down the long straight road leading into the hills outside of National City. The sun beat down, waves of heat shimmering above the ground in the distance. Autumn led to cooler nights out in the hills, but the lack of trees and shade kept the days hot whenever the sun was out, which was most of the time. Kara was silent in the passenger seat, but she kept her eyes on the middle-distance.

They turned onto an unmarked access road and continued on, scrubby grasses and low shrubs the only things to see. The DEO bunker was set into one of the hills, half-underground. In the fifties, it had been built as a satellite government safe-house in case of a nuclear strike. Some alterations had been made since then, but its semi-camouflaged entrance remained the same. Kara had visited only once since Alex had been recruited, but she knew several of the people who worked there. She had been introduced to them when she'd met the members of the human-alien coalition in the back room of the alien-friendly bar where Alex had first been met them herself.

Alex flashed her badge as they arrived, and they were motioned forward and into the large underground garage. There were more people around than the last time Kara had been there, and she stuck close to Alex's side as her sister led her through the corridors and into the main hub. Alex waved to a few people, and Kara attempted a smile, but she was beginning to feel overwhelmed. Seeing this place, aliens and humans working together, it should have made her happy, she thought, but she just felt uneasy.

J'onn met them at the entrance to the medical wing which at present was just a couple of exam rooms, a couple of patient rooms and a bare-bones operating room.

"Danvers," he said nodding to Alex.

"Any change?" Alex asked, and Kara knew she was asking about Kal-El.

"Nothing since last night," he replied. "Doctor Hamilton thinks it could be up to a week."

"Thanks J'onn," Alex said, reaching for Kara's hand but stopping when she saw how stiffly she was holding herself.

"I'll be in the command center if you need me. We're preparing for a drill for the agents who just transferred in."

"We'll be sure to keep out of the way," Alex said with a quick nod, hands linked behind her back.

J'onn gave a softer look to Kara but said nothing to her before moving past them and away.

Within a few more steps, Alex stopped again, motioning to the door beside her.

"Okay, so... He's right inside," she said, sounding as awkward and nervous as she felt. She knew that this had to be nerve wracking for her sister, and was taking on all of the signs that woman refused to show. "He's hooked up to a few machines and an IV. The IV is just for nutrients and hydration, and the machines are monitoring his heart, breathing and brain waves. Last night his brain waves started becoming more active, so we are hopefully that he is coming out of his coma."

"Will he know I'm there?" Kara asked without emotion.

"We don't know, but I like to think so. You can talk to him. Do you want me to stay with you or come back in a few minutes?"

Kara thought for a moment before saying, "I think I''d like a little time alone, if that's all right."

"Of course. I'll be nearby. If you need me just come out into this hall and call for me."

She turned the doorknob as she spoke and slowly pushed it open, revealing the occupant. Kara didn't reply to Alex, she just walked forward through the doorway, eyes fixed on the man lying in the hospital bed. Alex watched as she sat down on the chair next to the bed, and then she closed the door.

Kara had spent the entire drive, the entire walk through the building, the entire morning, holding herself together and being strong, unflappable, unemotional. She had known that if she had allowed herself to get the slightest bit emotional, she would have fallen apart. Because here... here in this bed, was her last connection to her homeworld. Here was the person she remembered best as a small baby with chubby cheeks and thick, dark hair. Her memories of the man he'd become by the time her pod landed were much fuzzier, muddled by the shock and disorientation of emerging into a whole new life with a new family. She had seen plenty of photographs though, and she recognized that he had barely aged, though he'd been gone for twelve years.

Her hand had come to rest on the bed, and very hesitantly she stretched out her fingers so that the tips just brushed the side of his arm. He felt warm. Solid. Real. He was alive and now she just wondered what had been done to him and if he would ever wake up. Alex seemed sure that he would, but of course she wouldn't want to give her sister bad news. Kara looked at his face, seeing the shadow of her uncle in his features. She wondered if eventually she might have ended up in the same ever-sleeping state if she hadn't escaped, and the thought brought a sudden clench of terror to her heart as she thought of her pod and the Phantom Zone and too much sleep already.

She spoke to him then, in low tones, silken and flowing, the Kryptonian language slipping from her mouth easier than English had lately. She apologized again and again for not being there for him when he was a baby, for not being there to take care of him, for not trying to find him sooner. For being afraid. For still being so afraid. She didn't realize that she had started crying, but then she heard Alex clearing her throat near the door, and when she looked up, her sister was walking towards her and holding out a wad of tissues.

"I heard some of what you said."

Kara wiped at her eyes and sniffled, but said nothing.

"It wasn't your fault. Kara, none of this was your fault. You didn't land her late on purpose, and dammit, even if you had landed on time, what kind of burden was that to place on a kid's shoulders?" Alex reined herself in, knowing that criticizing Kara's parents was not going to help, but having had that argument in her head umpteen times since a small blonde girl was dropped off in her yard. "I'm sorry," she said calmly. "But what I said is still true. None of this is your fault. And if you hadn't escaped, he would still be at Cadmus. Your actions saved him and every other alien there and at LordTech. Please don't forget that, Kara."

She gently draped an arm around Kara's shoulders and kissed the side of her head. It was a few more minutes before Kara spoke again.

"Thank you, Alex," she said, looking up with those kind blue eyes that just made her sister want to hold and protect her from everything.

"Pffff... I'm just telling you the truth."

"I think I'm ready to go," Kara told her then, "as long as... I can come back? Right?"

"Of course... Every day if you want. He's your cousin. No one is going to keep you away from him."

Kara looked relieved and Alex was only sorry that she hadn't made that all completely clear to her to begin with. She wrapped the blonde up in a tight hug when she stood up, and then ushered her towards the door.

There were more agents walking through the halls now, and Kara tried not to look directly at any of them. The uniforms, the lighting, it was all too unsettlingly familiar. Alex seemed to pick up on Kara's feelings, or maybe she just recognized the similarities herself, and she sped up her steps to get them back to the garage faster.

They had just passed through the command center when red lights set high on the wall started flashing, and a second later, a klaxon sounded, the pulsing noise loud enough to make Kara press her hands over her ears. The thundering sound of running footsteps came next, as agents swarmed from everywhere, all headed towards the command center.

Alex knew that this was the drill J'onn had mentioned, and she tried to grab Kara's hand and press her close to the wall to shield her from all of the commotion. At the faintest brush of her fingertips, though, Kara flinched away and screamed, pushing away and fingers flying in disjointed signs.

The sound was so loud, and the flashing lights were terrifying, making the walls feel like they were closing in on her. There were guards rushing toward her, but she hadn't done anything. She knew she hadn't done anything! But they were all around and she could see the halls of LordTech, could smell harsh chemicals and fear. Alex was calling her, but she sounded so far away. Someone crashed into her, and strong hands were on her arms, and she exploded into frenetic action. She sent a body flying across the hall, and then another over her shoulder, all the while screaming.

Alex was still saying her name over and over, and then there were more hands on her shoulders, pressing her against the wall, but she couldn't shake them off. She couldn't shake them off and one of them moved to the side of her face and she felt pain and fear followed by a sudden calm. Her heartbeat became the only sound, and the feeling of the air rushing in and out of her lungs was the only sensation save for the warm pressure against her face. She couldn't say how long had passed and when she opened her eyes she was looking into deep brown sad eyes, and J'onn J'onzz's caring face.

"Kara, thank God," Alex murmured, stepping into her field of vision and then helping to support her as her legs weakened and she sank to the floor, leaning against the wall.

"What-?"

"It was just a drill, Kara. It gave you a flashback. You're safe now," Alex told her.

"But I felt... In my head..." Kara mumbled, hand going to her temple.

"That was me," J'onn said, sounding slightly ashamed. "Normally Green Martians cannot enter the minds of Kryptonians, but you were in such a state of distress that your mental walls had crumbled. I just reached in to soothe your fear."

Kara looked up at him with surprise and gratitude, whispering, "Thank you."

Her vision was made blurry by a film of unshed tears, and she blinked quickly and then looked around, attention darting from one spot to the next like a frightened deer. She saw two men crumpled on the floor some distance away, and medics helping them to sit, examining them, helping them to stand. Kara knew who they were now and what she had done, and she pulled her gaze back to J'onn and Alex, opening her mouth several times without any sound emerging.

"I - I didn't - "

"Of course you didn't," Alex soothed. "It was an accident and they will be fine. A little embarrassed, but fine. We should get you back to the penthouse."

Kara had been soaking up the understanding and forgiveness in Alex's expression, but she turned her head to look at J'onn and her brow furrowed, a familiar crinkle forming between above the bridge of her nose.

"You aren't keeping me here?" she asked, confused.

Before J'onn could answer, Alex cut in with, "No! Kara, I - we - are not locking up my sister!"

She put out her hand as if to help Kara to her feet, but the blonde shook her head.

"But I hurt them. I could hurt someone else. I could hurt Cat, or Carter, or... or... you," she stammered. "You should keep me here. Keep everyone else safe," she continued, her speech patterns returning to the stiff, short statements that had marked the first days she'd stopped relying on sign language to communicate.

"Kara, you're talking crazy," Alex insisted. "You've been living with Cat for months and things have been going well. You've been getting better. You're talking again! This was just an accident."

"No!" Kara shouted, with more vehemence then Alex had seen since reuniting with her sister. "I can't take the chance!"

She pounded her fist down onto the floor and it left an indentation in the concrete which Alex and J'onn both saw, with widened eyes. They shared a glance and Alex's expression changed to one of resignation.

"Fine. We have a training room you can go to for now, but you aren't staying there, Kara. It's just until you can calm down and come to your senses."

"Alex..."

"Take it or leave it," Alex said, mouth hardening into a firm line.

"Okay," Kara agreed, her momentary fierceness gone and replaced with childlike nervousness.

J'onn rose and went to see to the injured recruits, while Alex helped Kara to her feet and led her down a few corridors before stopping at a steel door with a reinforced glass window. She slid her access card through the reader beside the doorknob and then pushed it open.

The room was large, with a sparring ring in the center and exercise equipment in several stations. Kara stepped inside and slowly walked around before turning back to her sister, but she didn't say anything, just looked at her sadly.

"I meant what I said," Alex broke the silence. "I'm just letting you stay here to calm down. The door won't be locked and my lab is right down the hall."

Kara nodded, twisting her fingers together and worrying at her lip before speaking.

"Alex, I'm scared," she said, sinking down to sit on the edge of the raised sparring ring.

Alex rushed over and sat down beside her, throwing one arm around her shoulders.

"Oh, honey, I understand that, but you need to trust yourself more. This was an accident, and highly unlikely to happen out in the "real world"," she said. "It's not as if Cat routinely runs paramilitary drills through her living room," she teased.

Kara shook her head and shrugged a little.

"I just... I wish I could trust myself the way you do. The way she does."

"You'll get there, Kara."

They sat in silence for another few minutes until Alex's phone started ringing and she answered it and had to excuse herself to run and help J'onn with a weapons demonstration. Kara stayed seated on the dias, pulling her knees up to her chest and focusing on the door. She sat there thinking about how a large part of her wanted to beg Alex to put her into one of the DEO holding cells so that she would be safe and everyone would be safe from her. She had just proven her biggest fears were true and that the mindless fighter she was trying to bury, was just waiting to break free.

She expected Alex to come back to try to convince her to agree to go back to the penthouse. She did not expect that when the door opened some time later, that the woman who walked through it would be wearing four inch heels and looking as if she owned the place despite her clearly out-of-place attire.

"Cat?" Kara shook her head as if she was seeing things though she knew that wasn't the case.

"Yes, and I had to shuffle my entire afternoon around to come all the way out to this literal hole in the ground. I half expected your sister to put a bag over my head."

The door closed, with Alex on the other side of it, smirking slightly before she walked back to her lab.

"I didn't ask - "

"Of course you didn't," Cat said. "Alex told me what you asked for. You asked to basically be locked up here like some rogue alien."

"But Cat, I AM a dangerous - "

Cat cut her off with a wave of her hand and a sound of disbelief.

"You tossed a couple of idiots who ran into you while in the middle of a frightening situation with flashing lights and sirens. That doesn't make you dangerous."

"I could have - "

"But you didn't. From what your sister tells me, the two idiots are just banged up. Not even any broken bones. And you know that if you had really wanted to, if you had really intended to, they would both be dead. But that didn't happen. Even in your fear, you held yourself back."

Kara looked decidedly unconvinced and looked away from Cat. Looking at her always confused her. Always made her believe in things she didn't think were possible. Always made her think that she was capable of more than what she'd been trained for.

Cat let out a long sigh and walked slowly over to the dias, gingerly taking a seat some distance from Kara. She knew the woman wouldn't want her to be within arm's reach.

"Your sister mentioned that another alien - J'onn? - helped you calm down."

Kara nodded. "He pulled out some calming thoughts and pushed down my fear."

"And what were your calming thoughts?"

A shrug and no reply, but Cat continued on speaking.

"It may come as some surprise, but even I become somewhat stressed sometimes. I usually try thinking about the beach and the beach house."

Kara's eyes darted to Cat's face, because thoughts of the waves had been part of what brought her out of her terror.

"You told me how you used to watch your sister surfing, and how you loved the ocean. Remember the late-night conversations we had out at the beach house?" she asked rhetorically. "I don't think I've ever told anyone else about how protected and peaceful it felt when my father would take me camping on the beach - against Mother's wishes, of course. I suppose that is why I associate the beach with calm feelings."

Kara did remember those conversations. In the dark, with only the moon and stars for light, they had both shared probably more than they'd meant to.

"I told you about hiding in his closet after he died," Cat went on, surprised when Kara slid a bit closer and rested her hand just beside Cat's, pinkie fingers brushing together as if she wanted to give a little comfort.

"I felt safe in the back of that closet with his suits blocking me from view and his scent all around," Cat said, closing her eyes in remembrance and then opening them and looking right at Kara. "But eventually I had to come out. And so do you, Kara. You can't stay here. Locking yourself away may feel safe, but it's no way to live."

Kara looked away, first at the door, then at her hands, clenching them into fists.

"I just hate - I hate know what I could do. I hate what they did to me. I hate being afraid all the time," she finished weakly, a slight crack in her voice.

Cat edged closer and chanced a hand on Kara's knee as she said, "I know. And I know how hard you're trying to move past all that, and you've done so well. You're getting better, Kara. You aren't the same person that you were, but you aren't the same person I brought home from the park that night, either."

Kara just sighed and let her hand rest on top of Cat's, not sure why, but aware that the connection made her feel more grounded; more secure.

"On my way in, I spoke to the new director here. J'onn?" Cat said tentatively, and went on without waiting for a reply. "He told me he was able to calm you with some mind thingy he did," she continued, reverting to a slightly careless tone with accompanying fluttering hand motion. "He said that it might be helpful to work with you - to try to move you past some of those fears."

She didn't mention that she had basically grilled the man, peppering him with questions about the dangers, possible benefits, and side-effects.

"You talked to him about that?" Kara asked, surprised.

"Yes. And your sister was there, and she agreed that it could help prevent these frightening flashbacks that take hold sometimes. She mentioned that you would be coming to visit Superman - Kal-El," she corrected herself, "and you could meet with J'onn at the same time."

Kara was quiet as she considered that.

"It did help," she said softly. "Made me feel more at peace with everything and calmed me down."

"So, that sounds like a plan then," Cat pushed on, in typical Media Queen fashion. "And with that settled, I think it's time we get out of this dreary place and back to the penthouse. Carter will be getting out of school soon."

She wanted to refuse. She wanted to tell Cat that it still wasn't safe for either of the Grants to have her around, but the look in Cat's eyes stopped her. There was trust there, and more than that, affection and a sort of silent plea for her to agree to join them back at the penthouse."

Kara stood up, grasping Cat's hand as she did so, and forcing her to rise with her.

"We shouldn't be late for Carter," she said firmly, pushing down her own doubts and grabbing on to some of Cat's confidence in her.

"No, we shouldn't," Cat agreed as if they hadn't just finished an emotional conversation. "And I may be convinced to order Chinese food for dinner."

"Extra potstickers?"

"Since Carter and I would like to have a few, yes, there will definitely be extra potstickers."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been too long and for that I apologize. Hopefully someone is still interested in reading.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Kara went to the DEO to visit Kal the next day, and the next, and the next. She didn't stay all day. She didn't even stay all morning, but she spoke to him in Kryptonian and watched his chest rising and falling and wondered what he was dreaming. After she had visited Kal, she went to find J'onn, and it was never difficult. He seemed to have a sixth sense about where she was and when.

They didn't talk about what had happened in the hallway during the training drill. In fact Kara's past trauma was never mentioned at all. But J'onn would always find an empty office, and the two of them would sit, facing each other, and she would open her mind to him, letting the fear, pain, and loss flood out while J'onn sent back feelings of calm control. Soothing, wordless messages of safety and security. Kara was determined not to lose control again, and she was willing to relive her past if it helped secure her future.

There were other thoughts that filtered through though, thoughts that weren't from her days at LordTech. There were snippets of rooftop conversations with teenage Alex, sister nights with too many potstickers and too much pizza, and memories of holidays in Midvale. And there were thoughts of Cat Grant. J'onn always tried to veer his own mind away from such personal thoughts, and he could feel Kara closing herself up when those thoughts wove themselves into her consciousness. Feelings such as those were difficult to quickly squelch, however, and on the third morning, as Kara and J'onn stood to leave their quiet space, the Martian finally spoke.

"Are you going to do anything about your feelings?" he asked gently, having felt a surge of pure warmth and tender affection for Cat, flowing from Kara just minutes earlier.

Kara shook her head quickly.

"You know that they will not simply go away," he pressed.

"But they should," Kara countered. "You know what I've done, what I could do. Her friendship is more than enough. More than I deserve," she finished quietly.

J'onn wanted to disagree, but knew it would be pointless, especially with Kara feeling emotionally wrung out as she usually did after their sessions. He just gave a perfunctory nod and ushered her towards Alex's lab.

Alex always took her lunch hour to spend with Kara and drive her back to the penthouse. Kara wasn't the same rambling, irrepressibly cheerful girl she had been when she'd first arrived in National City after college, but she wasn't the shell of herself she'd been in those first days outside LordTech. The sisters were able to talk and even laugh, and if Kara spoke a bit less, and her smile didn't always reach her eyes, well, it was still miles from when she had refused to even leave the penthouse.

On the fifth morning, Kal woke up.

Kara wasn't with him, but she arrived soon after his eyes opened, and he blinked and stared and then asked how long he'd been asleep. Because the Kara he remembered was a spindly legged young girl. He remembers arriving at a Cadmus base and then nothing after that.

Doctors and scientists crowd into the room, and Kara is pushed to the corner, and she peers over shoulders and between white coats and black uniforms at the cousin who is laughing like he just woke from the best night's sleep he's ever had.

She doesn't stay. There are too many people, and too much noise, and besides, he still doesn't need her; not anymore than he did when she arrived twenty-four years too late. Alex is part of the team examining Kal, but Kara waits in her lab. She sits in a chair and watches people rushing by, jobs to do, places to be, and she tries to tell herself that she isn't as useless as she feels.

Eventually Alex breaks away and breathlessly explains to Kara how Kal appears to have suffered no side effects from his years in the kryptonite-induced coma, and how the sun bed has already done its job to return his powers. She wants to know if Kara wants to see him before she goes, but Kara shakes her head and explains that she didn't sleep well and would rather just go back to the penthouse.

When Kara tells Cat about Kal's recovery, the older woman is shocked. Kara is quieter that evening, but she still plays a game with Carter, and watches a movie with Cat. Maybe Cat doesn't notice the lack of words because she herself is distracted by thoughts of yet another person who might consider himself more capable of caring for the blonde woman sharing a tentative smile with her son, and pretending not to tear up at an animal shelter commercial.

The next morning, Kara considered not visiting the DEO, but Alex arrived right on schedule and she found herself bundled into the usual black SUV and speeding out of the city. Alex chatted happily about Kal's prognosis and the fact that he would probably be released from the DEO within another day or two.

Kara went into the medical ward and heard laughing before she reached Kal's door. When she peered through the open door, she saw a woman she recognized as Lois Lane and the doctor who cared for her, James Olsen. They were both there with him and they were talking and laughing. For a minute, Kara just watched, feeling like even more of an outsider. Like more of a problem, more of an inconvenience, more damaged. Because here was Kal, after years at Cadmus and he was smiling and talking and they were setting a release date and he was asking if Lois still had his spare suit. 

While she was only held for two years and it took her weeks to talk and months to leave the penthouse and she still couldn't use her powers and she was still afraid of herself.

Kal was the first to see her, hovering just outside the door, his blue eyes meeting hers, and he called her into the room and asks Lois and James to let them have a few minutes alone. With an almost deer in the headlights look on her face, Kara approached the bed and sat stiffly in the chair beside it.

"So..." Kal began.

"So..." Kara repeated, looking at him and then down at her hands.

"I - uh - it looks like I missed out on a few things while I was sleeping," Kal said, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck. "The last time I saw you, I don't think the top of your head even reached my shoulders. You've grown up."

Kara cleared her throat and twisted her fingers together before she said, "I wasn't living with you, so you might not have seen me growing up anyway," and she wasn't sure where those words had come from or the tone that went with them, and she looked up, startled, and covered her mouth with one hand.

Kal studied her for a second and then stared down at his own hands, resting on his lap.

"Fair enough," he agreed simply, not having expected the tacit rebuke, but unable to deny it.

"I'm sorry," Kara rushed to say. "You were trying to give me a normal life. If I'd stayed with you, we don't know what would have happened to me. You gave me a family. A sister. You were trying to keep me safe."

"And you still got hurt," he said.

"They told you," Kara said, and it wasn't a question. She waited for his nod and took a deep breath. "That wasn't your fault."

They were silent then, with Kal reluctant to ask any questions, and Kara refusing to offer any details.

"I slept away a dozen years, but it still sounds like I got off easy," Kal said at last. "And now, thanks to you, no other aliens will have to suffer the way you did."

"What?"

"Lois told me. About Cat Grant's stories. Obviously she got all her information from you. She wouldn't have written them at all if she'd never met you."

Kara scoffed lightly and shrugged one shoulder.

"Cat always hated the Alpha fights," she hedged, "she would have written about them eventually."

Kal didn't argue with her but he did reach over and take her hand.

"What you went through - what you're still going through... And you still worry about everyone else. Alex told me how you didn't want to see her because you thought it would put her in danger. She told me how you're afraid of hurting someone accidentally. You have the heart of a hero, Kara. Even if you don't have a snazzy suit like mine," he tried to play it off by joking in the end, but Kara still blushed and wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Alex told me you would be able to leave soon," Kara deflected by changing the subject, and Kal let her.

"Yes. Day after tomorrow, I guess Superman will be making his triumphant return, and in a month or so, Clark Kent will return to Metropolis from his adventures backpacking through South America."

There was a smile on his face, and Kara gave a short, light little laugh that failed to crinkle the corners of her eyes. Once again, family remained just out of her reach. Kal was watching her, and he noticed her expression and guessed at the reason. He wasn't going to tell Kara, but Cat Grant had paid him a visit the previous evening. After the standard well-wishes, she had been less than complementary about his decision to abandon Kara with the Danvers, and she had slapped her articles down on his meal tray and told him that his cousin needed all the support she could get, and he'd damn well better be there to give it.

"Kara," he said softly, "I may be going back to Metropolis, but it's only about five minutes away, as the Superman flies. We have a lot of time to catch up on. And I know, technically, I'm older in Earth years, and I've learned all about Krypton at the Fortress of Solitude, but I'd rather learn it from you.

The silence in the room was heavy as Kara just stared at him and willed the breaths in and out of her body. She realized, after a minute, how much she really wanted to share her stories of their homeworld with him. So much of her life on Earth now seemed tainted in some way, but those memories remained unsullied. LordTech had failed to strip them from her. She tearfully nodded her head.

"I'd like that a lot," she whispered.

Lois and James returned shortly after that, and Kara was properly introduced to Lois Lane. She knew of her, naturally, and knew that she had been involved with her cousin prior to his disappearance. Seeing her now - seeing the two of them together - gave Kara a warm feeling in the center of her chest. After all those years, Lois had never given up finding Kal - or Clark as she called him. The love between them, still so strong, made a whole host of things seem possible.

The hours after that seemed to slip by quickly. Kara was quieter than the others, but she liked to hear the others talk. They already seemed to have fallen into a familiar sort of bantering, and it was familial and comforting to her. Kal - she would have to remember to start calling him Clark, pulled her into the conversation with questions about growing up in Midvale, and about her college years and the two degrees - one in mechanical engineering and the other in journalism - that she had managed to get in only four years. Kara blushed when she admitted that it college was easier than high school since she didn't have to pretend not to know what, to her, was basic science and mathematics and physics.

Alex arrived to take her to lunch, and Kara was actually smiling, a true smile that caused one adorable dimple in her left cheek. Her hands weren't nervously clasped on her legs, she was using them to animatedly retell a story about her first time babysitting Clark on Krypton. She was in the medical ward of an underground military bunker, surrounded by people she barely knew, and yet she felt comfortable and at ease. They weren't afraid of her. She didn't have to hide her past from them. It felt like a truly safe space. Alex recognized that immediately and hid a pleased smile behind her hand before reminding Kara that they needed to leave soon or she wouldn't be home in time to meet Carter when he got home from school.

News of Superman's return appeared in the news that evening. He and the DEO had decided that holding a small press conference before he started just flying about the world again, would be the best idea for all concerned. Kara and the Grants watched it with rapt attention. Cat had a slightly inscrutable look on her face, as if she wasn't one hundred percent impressed by the man of steel. Carter, on the other hand, was ecstatic. Superman was practically a myth to him, since he had only been a baby when the man had disappeared. Seeing him now and hearing him talk was like watching a comic book hero come to life.

Kara watched with a fond expression on her face and just a hint of sadness that only Cat would have recognized. After Carter went to bed, the Kryptonian slipped out the sliding doors and onto the balcony and Cat gave her a few minutes solitude before following.

The blonde was leaning against the railing, staring up at what stars were visible. The brightest ones could be seen, but the smaller stars were swallowed up by the haze of light pollution from the bustling city below. The air had a crispness to it, and she had her arms wrapped around her middle, more from habit than from any discomfort from the cold. She heard Cat's light steps through the door and over to her side, and was unsurprised by the mug of hot cocoa that was pressed into her hands.

"You seem calmer today," Cat remarked. "Lighter."

Kara gave a small shrug and said, "Maybe a little. At first, when I saw him today with his friends..." she trailed off for a long moment. "It was as if he'd only been gone for a short vacation, instead of twelve years. He was talking and laughing and I - I..."

"You felt like you'd suffered so much more and been changed so much more in only a few years," Cat filled in the blanks and Kara nodded.

"I felt broken and hopeless, but I also felt jealous, and that made me feel even worse," Kara admitted, turning to look at Cat with such a conflicted look on her face that Cat was hard-pressed not to reach out and smooth the wrinkled brow and the crinkle between her eyes.

"Those are valid feelings," she said instead, keeping her own hands firmly around her glass of bourbon. "I would argue that you aren't broken and I certainly hope that you aren't feeling hopeless all the time, but the jealousy? You have every reason to feel that way."

"But he had a dozen years stolen from him," Kara insisted. "It's not as if he wanted that to happen, or wanted what happened to me."

"That doesn't change the fact that now he's awake - back - and while I'm sure there will be a period of adjustment for him, he is largely able to go back to the life he led before. His fiancée is still there. His friends. Probably even his day job at the Planet."

"Not like me," Kara said lowly, swirling the cocoa in her mug and watching the white froth curl into a spiral.

"No. Not like you," Cat said honestly. "What you've gone through requires a lot more strength to push through. But you have that strength, Kara. And you have your sister, and Eliza and now Clark and his friends. You have people who want to help and support you."

"And I have you," Kara's voice was quiet but clear in the still night air.

"Of course," Cat told her. "Always."

Kara smiled that shy little smile Cat was quickly growing addicted to and both women tried not to think about more than the friendship between them.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well any summary would spoil all the excitement...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to all of my readers and especially the ones who let me know that you are still out there happy to see chapters posted!

Chapter Twenty-Four

If there was something that could be said about the public at large, it was that big news could instantly change opinions, but that those opinions rarely resulted in significant changes unless they were reinforced by more big news. That was certainly how it was in the country with regard to the Alpha fights and aliens. The news about the abuse and illegal experiments and forced fighting led people to quickly shun the fights, but it failed to really change their minds about aliens in general. They were still mostly viewed with suspicion or outright fear and the question of what to do about the currently held Alpha fighters was far from cut and dry.

That changed once Superman took to the skies again. Within a week, he was a sort of ambassador for aliens, repeatedly telling the people that all precautions would be taken before releasing any prisoners, and that the aliens already free and living among them wanted nothing more than to exist peacefully. His words didn't sway pubic opinion as quickly as Cat's Alpha fight articles had, but they did soften most people's hearts and open their minds.

The government staged press conferences explaining that most of the Fort Rozz prisoners had actually long overstayed their original sentences. They were all going through rigorous psychological testing to ensure that they would not present any accidental danger to the public, and then they would be relocated to various places across the country. The prisoners who remained would be transferred to highly secure facilities to serve out their sentences - some indefinitely - in humane conditions.

Kara watched all of that play out day after day, and it eased a sort of tightness that often wrapped itself around her chest. There were other aliens out there like her. There were other aliens who were going to be released, and they were not considered a danger. Her own self-doubt remained deep within, but it gave her hope to hear that others could be rehabilitated and live out free and peaceful lives without humans fearing them.

Cat noticed the subtle changes in Kara's demeanor, and couldn't help but feel pleased every time she saw Kara freely touching Carter's arm during a game, or laughing at one of his ridiculous jokes. She was acutely aware when Kara stopped flinching every time their fingers happened to brush when Cat was handing her something or they were washing up after dinner. She welcomed the hint of warmth she felt when Kara sat nearer to her as they watched the news or some cheesy movie. She had to stop herself from leaning even nearer.

One evening, Cat arrived home late, after Carter had already gone to bed, and she scanned the living room, surprised to see that Kara wasn't there. Then she saw that the sliding door was just slightly open. It had become much colder over the past week, and Cat dropped her things and grabbed a warm woolen blanket from the back of the sofa and headed towards the balcony.

Kara turned as soon as the soft sssshhhhh of the slider signaled Cat's entrance. She didn't say anything and Cat walked over, sitting down beside the younger woman on the sofa and wrapping part of the blanket around her shoulders.

"You know I don't really feel the cold," Kara mentioned.

"Humor me. It makes me feel cold seeing you out here in a tank top and flannel pants when the temperature is barely fifty degrees."

Kara gave a light chuckle and didn't say anything as Cat snuggled a little closer "to share body heat".

They sat silently for a few minutes before Cat asked, "Can you see it up there?"

And Kara knew what she was referring to.

"Yes," she answered. "The constellations here are different than the ones I saw on Krypton, but there are a few stars patterns that are easy to recognize even if the arrangement is slightly different from this angle. I use them to find Rao. That was our sun," she explains.

"Does it help?" Cat asked quietly. "Being able to see it even from here."

"Sometimes," Kara replied, drawing the word out slowly. "Sometimes it just makes me feel more alone. The way light travels, Rao and even Krypton will be visible for years and years. When I think about the fact that if I tried hard enough I might be able to see my planet, and imagine that it's still whole, with all my family still there happy and alive; people who know all my stories and songs and history..." she trailed off and tugged a corner of the blanket tighter around herself.

"Didn't you tell me you were going to be talking to Clark about some of those things?" Cat asked.

"Yes..." she didn't want to explain how Clark was much too busy for that right now, and who knew when he might have time, and what if he didn't really care anyway? He'd grown up on Earth. Krypton wasn't even a memory to him. It barely existed as a real place in his life, becoming more of a myth than anything else."

Cat sat back and stared up at the stars, deliberately avoiding even a glance in Kara's direction.

"Well obviously I don't know your language - Kryptonese? - but I don't speak Italian either and I still enjoy the opera. And you can always tell me some of the other things you mentioned. Never let it be said that I don't have a curious mind, and hearing about a completely different planet - off the record of course -" she was quick to add.

Kara looked over at her with a softly bemused expression and allowed herself to nestle a little more firmly under the blanket and into Cat's side. A few minutes later, a soft voice started speaking about the view of Argo City from the top of a spire that rose high into the sky, and the way the setting sun seemed to set the distant mountains on fire. Cat tucked her feet beneath herself and ignored the cold.

Late nights out on the balcony became an unspoken part of their routine over the next week, and Cat began leaving warm blankets draped over the arms of the sofa. Kara also kept leaving the penthouse almost every day to have lunch with Alex, and her sister started dropping hints about perhaps looking for a job so that she could interact with more people. Kara wasn't sure she was ready for that. The penthouse was her safe space, and leaving it for eight hours at a time every day felt impossible.

On the second Friday of November, contrary to the norm, Kara found herself eating lunch in front of the television alone. Alex had a lunch date, with Maggie, the NCPD detective who had first introduced her to the aliens in National City. Alex had been shy and nervous when she'd told Kara about their relationship nearly a week earlier, but Kara had just been happy for her sister. Rules about sexuality weren't really an issue on Krypton, where procreation wasn't even at stake. Kara had always found herself mildly attracted to both sexes, and had assumed that a deeper level of feeling was necessary for her to really desire a relationship. Until meeting Cat, she had thought it was possible that would never happen. Now she was just conflicted.

Instead of lunch, Alex planned to have dinner and a sleepover at the penthouse. Carter was being picked up from school by his father to spend a long weekend, and Cat had an investor's meeting in Metropolis that she hadn't been able to push off any longer. Kara hadn't exactly told her sister that she was afraid of spending the night without anyone else home, but Cat had emailed the newly minted DEO agent and made sure that Kara wouldn't be alone.

Kara had heated up an entire frozen pizza for lunch and was half-way through eating it when the newscast moved from current events to sports. She picked up the remote and changed the channel to a celebrity gossip show. They were talking about some actress and her impending marriage and then they segued into a story about Superman's return to Metropolis. 

The show cut from the studio to a live shot at CatCo. Kara listened to the host as she mentioned that Media Queen Cat Grant was about to leave for Metropolis and speculated that she was attempting to get an interview with the caped hero who usually only spoke to Lois Lane. A wry grin appeared on Kara's face as she thought of how Cat would take offense at the idea she would lower herself to grovelling for an interview.

The camera panned up as the CatCo helicopter rose and appeared over the edge of the skyscraper. Kara knew that Cat was taking it to the airport to avoid the inevitable noontime traffic jam. She chewed on a last bite of pizza and wandered to the balcony. She could see the helicopter in the distance and wondered if Cat was looking towards the penthouse. Even knowing there was no way the other woman could see her, she gave a tiny wave.

She was still watching as she saw a burst of light and then a thin trail of smoke come from the tail rotor of the copter. She whipped her head back around to look at the television and the reporter was close to screaming as she said that there appeared to be a malfunction and then the camera was moving rapidly, along with a crowd of people who were trying to clear the street and save themselves from being injured by the falling aircraft. The camera steadied once more and swooped upwards to show the out of control helicopter, tail swinging dangerously close to the side of the CatCo tower.

Kara didn't think. She didn't pause. She barely noticed that she was moving, but she was. She was running to the edge of the balcony and then in one jump she was perched on the railing and then another and she was flying through the air, hair streaming loose, clothes rustling in the wind. There should have been pain. There was always pain when she tried to use her powers, but she didn't think about that. She thought only of Cat and the spiraling helicopter.

In barely more than a few seconds, she had reached the CatCo tower. There were flames coming from the tail of the helicopter, and as she hovered for a moment, a second small explosion sent smoke and fire streaming from the main propeller. Kara knew that she had to catch the helicopter, but she worried that the flames could trigger another, larger explosion if they met up with any one of a number of engine fluids. A quick, sharp breath of frozen air smothered the licking flames, and then Kara dove after the rapidly descending aircraft.

She could hear Cat screaming, and the pilot shouting into his headset. She saw the look of terror on Cat's face as she sped downward and then under the helicopter. With one hand, she caught the right runner, and slowed the craft's descent gradually so that the occupants wouldn't just be thrown around the interior and injured. When she had come to a hovering stop, she started rising again, past glass windows where people stared, and up over the edge of the CatCo tower and back onto the landing pad.

Her heart was beating rapidly, not from exertion but from fear and adrenaline and relief. She pulled open the door because she just had to see that Cat was all right, and when she did, the other woman practically fell into her arms in her eagerness to get out.

Cat froze as familiar hands grabbed her upper arms and righted her, and she stared up in to blue eyes and a shy smile and her own eyes opened wide, while her mouth moved but no words emerged.

"K- Kara?" she finally whispered, and flung her arms around her rescuer's waist, burying her head against a strong shoulder.

"Shh - you're okay now," Kara murmured.

The pilot was finishing whatever statement he'd been making to the FAA, and he opened his door on the other side of the helicopter. Cat squeezed Kara tighter before pushing away.

"You need to go," she said quickly. "We'll come up with something later, but you can't let anyone know your identity right now."

At first, Kara was confused, but then she nodded. Her cousin had a secret identity for a reason. If she didn't want people hounding her day and night, "the flying alien girl", then she needed to slip away and let Cat manage the story. With one last look into Cat's eyes, she rose into the air and then in another second she was speeding away.

By the time she got back to the penthouse, TMZ was already replaying footage of the save and wondering who the mystery hero was. It was only minutes later that rapid knocking sounded against the front door, followed by insistent near-shouted words.

"Kara? Kara! Open the door! Lemme in!"

It was Alex and Kara jogged over to the entry way and pulled the door open while saying, "Did you see that? Did you see me?" in a sort of shocked and excited daze.

"Of course we saw you!" Alex replied as she and Maggie stepped into the penthouse. We were at a sports bar and all stations immediately switched to coverage of you lifting a helicopter with one hand! What the hell were you thinking?"

Kara blinked rapidly, trying to keep up with the shifting emotions in the room. Her own elation at saving Cat was supplanted by Alex's anxiety. Maggie laid a gentle hand on Alex's arm in an attempt to calm her down.

"She couldn't exactly let the chopper crash," she said mildly.

"Yes! Yes she could have!" Alex exclaimed, rounding on her girlfriend.

Tears sprang to Kara's eyes at the very thought of that happening, and Alex swung around to face her again and softened her expression and her voice.

"I'm sorry, Kara. No. I know. I know you couldn't let that happen. I know how much she means to you. I'm just - I'm still in shock, and I'm scared and I don't know what to do to keep you safe now that everyone in National City just saw you flying through the air."

Kara stifled the sob that had been rising and trudged wearily over to the sofa, nearly collapsing upon it as Alex and Maggie took up positions on either side of her.

"I couldn't let her die," she whispered.

"Of course not," Maggie soothed, patting the younger Danvers' shoulder.

"On the plus side, I doubt if anyone really got a good picture of you," Alex commented. "Between the distance and the angle, your face was pretty well obscured."

The television was still replaying footage and newscasters were trying to say the same thing in ten different ways in order to stretch their limited knowledge into longer airtime and bigger ratings. The three women on the sofa fell silent as they watched.

"You used your powers," Alex said after some time had passed. "Are you in any pain now? We should really take you to the DEO to run some tests."

Kara shook her head and said, "No. No pain. I - I didn't really think about that... I just saw the accident happening and the next thing I knew, I was in the air."

"Hell of a debut," Maggie quipped.

Alex leaned over and picked up the remote from the coffee table, switching the channel over to CatCo News. They were just in time to see Cat Grant making a statement.

"...I don't know who this woman is," she lied flawlessly, "or if she intends to keep up with performing heroic deeds around the city, but I do know that I will be forever indebted to her. I also just want to add that I feel once again grateful to have aliens living among us, and I hope that we can all learn to appreciate their presence instead of fearing it."

Half-way across the country, Maxwell Lord was watching the same newscast. His jaw was clenched and his fist curled and then pounded on the arm of his chair. A faint ringing pulled his attention to his cell phone and he answered it, already aware of who it was.

"You said you had it handled," he ground out through gritted teeth. "You said the plan was foolproof."

"Well how was I supposed to know that some superhero was gonna show up and swoop to the rescue?" came the reply from the other end of the line.

Lord hung up without saying anything else. At least he was glad for one thing. He knew where subject K was, and he was going to once again show her who had the real power.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cat and Alex and Maggie and Kara and talking and Thai food and bed-sharing. All good things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for continuing to read! It should really only be a few more chapters now...

Chapter Twenty-Five

Alex wanted to take her straight to the DEO for a full physical evaluation. She was afraid Kara must have hurt herself expending so much energy using her powers for the first time in so long. Kara, on the other hand, wanted nothing to do with tests or examinations. She nearly started shaking when Alex began rattling off all the tests she wanted to run.

Maggie, eyes flitting between the two sisters had picked up on Kara's unease and wrapped an arm around Alex's waist, steering her towards the kitchen.

"Let's just get all of us something to drink, sit down and then talk about next steps," she advised gently, cutting Alex off and not-so-subtly motioning towards the nervous blonde in front of them.

To her credit, Alex did recognize the impending warning signs of a panic attack, and rushed forward to place careful hands on Kara's shoulders, looking in her eyes before speaking.

"Yeah, yes, of course. Kara, we're just going to get something to drink and relax for a minute, okay? Everything is fine. We don't need to do anything you don't want to do. It's totally your decision."

"I want to stay here," Kara said immediately.

"That's fine, Little Danvers," Maggie said as she turned and started opening cupboards, looking for glasses while Alex guided her sister to the living room.

Maggie poured expensive filtered water into three tumblers and carried them over to the sisters, putting them down on the coffee table as she heard Alex ask,

"Are you sure you don't feel any weakness, Kar? And no pain? No headache? I know it used to make your head hurt the most."

"I'm fine, Alex, really. I feel good - great even," she elaborated, looking a bit surprised at that herself. She reached for a glass and took a long drink before speaking again. "I feel sort of - refreshed?" she tried to explain. "As if I'm waking up from a long sleep or something and my powers are all buzzing just below my skin."

"But you're not uncomfortable or anything? You don't feel out of control at all?"

Kara knew her sister was only looking out for her, but the words still stung just the tiniest bit.

"No. Actually, this is the first time I've really felt in control in two years," she said quietly, looking down at her half-full glass.

"I didn't - "Alex started, realizing how she had sounded.

"I know," Kara replied quickly, and all three women fell silent.

The television continued replaying the save and various interviews with witnesses for the next half hour before apparently someone in the newsroom decided they had milked the story for everything it was worth, at least until more actual facts were known. The station switched over to an afternoon talk show, and Maggie pressed the button on the remote and turned the television off.

"So," she said, trying to lighten the mood. "Anyone hungry?"

"Maggie, it's barely three-o-clock," Alex teased.

"Hey, you've told me how much Kara can eat."

"There were two explosions on the helicopter," Kara interrupted.

"What?" Alex was surprised by the sudden turn in the conversation.

"I saw one before I flew off the balcony, and there was another one when I got there. It wasn't just a malfunction or something. Someone did something to make it happen."

"Kar, I don't know," Alex began slowly, "You were a long ways away and then a lot was happening. And you don't exactly know how helicopters operate. It could have been an accident."

"No!" Kara insisted. "Someone wanted to hurt Cat."

"I know who you're thinking of," Alex replied, "but do you really think he'd go that far after all the shit he's already in?"

"I think he'd do anything to hurt anyone who hurt him," Kara whispered.

"Okay, okay," Maggie placated both sisters. "The FAA is certainly going to be investigating the incident, and I've got people who know people, so I'll make sure that every angle is investigated. Sound good?" she asked, looking at both sisters.

"Sounds good," Alex agreed, while Kara nodded.

Then all three of them whipped around to look towards the entrance as they heard the penthouse door opening. Cat stepped inside a second later, dropping bag and jacket on the table by the door.

"Cat!" Kara exclaimed, jumping to her feet.

"Oh thank God you're here," Cat replied all in one long exhale of relief.

She hurried to meet Kara half-way and Maggie nudged Alex with her elbow and raised one eyebrow as the two blondes embraced.

"Eh-hem," Alex cleared her throat and Cat pulled away from Kara and looked over.

"Alex," she greeted. "And Alex's Girlfriend, if I recall correctly."

"Detective Maggie Sawyer," Maggie said as she and Alex stood up.

Cat nodded but didn't otherwise acknowledge the correction.

"I'm glad you were both here to check on Kara," she said.

Alex was a little surprised to hear open gratitude from the petite but fierce CEO.

"Of course," she replied. "Kara's my sister. We came over the second we heard," she continued with just a touch of a reprimanding tone.

Cat squeezed her hands together and looked down at her stiletto-clad toes.

"I apologize," she said, again to Alex's surprise, "I didn't mean to imply anything. It's been - "

"No, I'm sorry, Alex cut in. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I know you didn't mean anything and you've been through a hell of an afternoon."

"I never have particularly liked flying," Cat remarked off-handedly.

Maggie chuckled and Cat walked over to the kitchen and poured herself a drink substantially stronger than water.

"I take it both of you will be staying for dinner?" Cat said, after taking a sip.

"Well, if it's no trouble..." Alex started, about to suggest that Kara could always go home with her and Maggie.

"Of course not," Cat answered, pulling open the drawer where she stored the take-out menus. "It's a little early, but you three can take a look and decide what you want. I'm going to take a shower and change. These clothes still smell like smoke."

Cat spoke so casually, movements smooth and easy, but Kara could see the flicker of tension in her eyes, the barely suppressed remnants of fear that she hadn't allowed herself to express.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked. "You didn't get banged up? Did an ambulance come to CatCo?"

The questions came out quickly, and with a certain firmness and self-assurance that Kara rarely showed anymore when it came to her wellness. Maggie and Alex both watched as Cat drew in a breath, and they expected her to let out a scathing remark about being able to look after herself. Instead, the breath came back out as a sigh, and Cat's shoulders visibly lowered with sudden exhaustion.

"I'm fine, Kara, I promise," she assured the other blonde. "A paramedic came to the scene and checked me over. A few bruises, none to my head."

Kara pressed her lips together, but seemed satisfied, and Cat gave her arm a little squeeze as she passed by on the way to her room.

Alex was about to say - something - she wasn't sure what - but Maggie stilled her with a quick grab of her hand.

"Leave it," she said under her breath, and Alex relaxed and contented herself with rolling her eyes.

After dinner - Thai food which Cat insisted on eating in the dining room - the four women returned to the living room to talk. By some sort of silent agreement, they had avoided talking about Kara's amazing act of heroism while they ate, but the subject now hovered over them, heavy and impossible to ignore.

"So," Cat began, never one to shrink from a challenge, " I suppose we should talk about what happened."

"Yes, well I don't think anyone got a clear shot of her face, so I think she's probably safe," Alex said, taking control of the conversation. "The DEO can field any questions that come up... Come up with a standard answer or something. An alien who just happened to be in the right place at the right time, but who prefers to remain anonymous and continue living her normal life."

"But what if I don't want that?" Kara interjected quietly.

"What?" Alex turned to her, shocked expression on her face. "Kara, what are you talking about? You're barely recovered from all your time - away - and you're talking about literally flying into situations that can be dangerous or deadly, even to you."

"I know that, but my cousin did it every day for years, and now he's right back to doing it again,"

"Your cousin is Superman. He has had years of using his powers behind him."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I can't learn."

Alex was shaking her head, but Cat laid a hand on Kara's knee.

"We can at least listen to what you have to say," she said calmly.

Kara looked at her gratefully but then paused, thinking, before she spoke again.

"I - I spent so long - so many years, repressing my powers and pretending to be normal," she began, "and then two years being forced..."

"Kara, you don't need to - " Alex said gently.

"I just mean... When I flew... When I caught that helicopter..." her eyes seemed to light up with remembering, "It felt so right. It felt freeing. I felt happy."

"Well you were saving someone you care about," Alex told her.

"It was more than that, Alex. It was using my powers for myself. Being my true, whole self for one of the first times ever since I came to Earth..."

"But Kara, it's not safe for you. And you've already been through so much. I don't want to lose my sister again," Alex's words were spoken harshly, but her voice cracked on the last word and Maggie reached over to squeeze her hand.

"I think," Maggie said, "that maybe this evening isn't the best time to be making any final decisions," she said. "Everyone is still pretty much in shock from what happened today, and emotions are running high."

"Agreed," Cat said, feeling her admiration for Alex's girlfriend increase. "Whatever is decided, it's not going to happen tonight. Tonight, let's just turn on some mindless movie and leave the rest until tomorrow."

Alex and Kara looked at each other, and Kara was the first to let a tiny smile appear.

"I know you're just worried about me," she said softly.

"I love you," Alex replied, equally quiet.

"A www," Maggie teased as the sisters rose to give each other a hug.

Alex backhanded Maggie on the shoulder before flopping back down on the sofa beside her. Kara sat again on the sofa she was sharing with Cat, and it was possible she'd edged a little closer but no one mentioned it. Cat tapped a remote to dim the lights, and then turned on the television and waited for the three younger women to start arguing over what to watch.

They settled on Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, against Cat's objections. Kara spent all of the fight scenes with her face under a blanket, only one eye peeking out, and her hand gripping Cat's with not-quite-superhuman strength.

Cat thought that Alex would want to stay over and be closer to her sister, but the elder Danvers sister had been watching the two blondes all evening. She knew that Kara would be in good hands with Cat. She and Maggie headed out at a little past eleven, and with the stress of the day still weighing them down, Cat and Kara retreated to their bedrooms.

The nightmare was fully expected, and Cat had almost waited up for it, but she'd drifted off sometime after midnight, so the sound of Kara's muffled cries woke her just before two in the morning. She followed the usual routine, knocking first and getting permission to enter once Kara was fully awake. Then she sat on the edge of the bed and patted Kara's leg, and asked if she wanted to talk about it.

These days, Kara most often declined, the nightmare being a retread of things she'd already told Cat more than she wanted to reveal. This time though, her eyes were even wider than usual, and they scanned Cat's features repeatedly, soft moonlight illuminating her pale skin and making her tousled hair glow.

"I couldn't fly," she said, her voice raspy and low. "Your helicopter... it... you..."

"But you did fly, Kara," Cat reminded her gently. "I'm here. I'm safe, you're safe. Everything is all right, dear," she soothed, only wondering afterwards where that short endearment had come from.

"It felt so real," Kara insisted, still staring into Cat's eyes.

"You were a hero today, Kara Zor-El Danvers. That's reality."

A faint blush rose in Kara's cheeks and she glanced down at her lap and then unexpectedly grabbed at Cat's hand. She had always been more reluctant to initiate contact, and Cat inhaled sharply at the warm press of flesh against her fingers.

"Maybe... you could stay until I fall asleep?" Kara whispered.

And it was the first time she had ever asked for something like that and Cat inhaled again, trying not to let her pounding heart give her away.

"Certainly," she said, smoothly collected as usual.

She headed towards the armchair at the same time Kara flung back the covers on the other side of the bed. The two women looked at each other, frozen.

"I - "

"Are - "

Their words overlapped at first, but Cat paused longer and Kara rushed on with, "No, never mind, that's perfect," she insisted.

But Cat was already walking around the bed.

"I hope you don't snore," she attempted to tease, but thought her voice probably shook at the end.

"I don't think so," Kara replied as she quickly snuggled down under the covers, careful to keep to her side of the bed.

Cat was soon settled, lying on her back and looking up at the ceiling. Kara had rolled onto her side, facing away from her, but her presence was impossible to ignore. A warmth radiated from her and it soothed Cat's nerves, making her eyes flutter closed for increasingly lengthy periods of time. She knew she wasn't going to make it back to her own bed. She tried to tell herself that this wasn't going to be a complete disaster.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maxwell Lord returns...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had intended to have a few more scenes in this chapter, but decided they fit better on their own. Since they are already loosely plotted/written you can expect the next chapter in a day or so. I hope you enjoy this one!

Chapter Twenty-Six

Cat's eyelids twitched. She was used to the muted morning light in her bedroom, sunshine filtered through white linen curtains. Kara never closed the curtains or blinds in her room, and the sunshine poured in once the first rays topped the buildings on the east side of National City. She came awake, aware of several things at once; the warmth radiating from Kara's body, the light from the windows and the heavy feel of a hand resting against her hip.

She blinked a few times and looked to the side, where Kara's tangled blonde hair draped across the pillows and her peaceful face pointed towards the sunlight like a compass pointing true north. Her pale pink lips were just barely parted and her soft breaths were the only sounds in the room. Cat was still for a few minutes just watching her and thinking. She had wondered, the night before, if all of this was going to turn into a disaster, and now, seeing that sweet, innocent face and feeling her own emotions roiling around in her chest and her stomach, she was certain of it. Things like this never worked and they especially never worked for Cat Grant.

Very slowly, she rolled to the side, and Kara's hand slipped gently from her hip and down to the soft mattress. Looking back over her shoulder, Cat saw that the move hadn't woken Kara, and she was quicker as she sat up and rose to her feet, padding softly from the room and pulling the door almost closed behind herself.

Coffee. That's what was needed. Coffee and possibly toast. Maggie and Alex had said they would stop by and bring breakfast since it was the weekend, but Cat knew how much Kara needed to eat, and that amount was probably doubled after using her powers. In any event, moving around her kitchen, grinding coffee beans, cutting into a loaf of fresh bakery bread, pulling cream and butter from the fridge; it all gave Cat something to do besides think.

She is moderately surprised that the coffee grinder doesn't bring Kara scampering into the room in search of coffee, but the previous day had been exhausting for her. Even the smell of brewing organic and ethically farmed coffee wafting through the penthouse failed to rouse her. Cat poured herself a cup and left the bread in the toaster ready to push down and the butter warming on the counter. She had just made it to the sofa to sit when a knock on the door stopped her.

It was still a bit early, but she supposed that Maggie and Alex were early risers with their line of work. She glanced down the hallway, but there was still no motion from Kara's room. Tugging the belt on her robe a bit tighter, she walked to the door, unlocked it and swung it open. She was not greeted by the smiling faces of the two women she expected.

"Maxwell Lord. What the hell are you doing here?" she hissed, keeping her voice low, glad now that Kara was still sleeping.

"What? Not happy to see me? I just wanted to check in on you after that near-tragic accident yesterday. Must have been quite a scare, I imagine."

"Yes, and I'm sure you were imagining me charred remains on the street in front of the CatCo building," Cat replied. "I'm not a fool, Max. I have no doubt you had something to do with the accident, and it's already being investigated. I suppose you don't care much whether you'll be serving five life sentences or ten," she remarked dryly, appearing completely composed, though her heart was beginning to race. "If you leave now, maybe I'll be convinced to avoid telling the authorities about your little visit," she finished, starting to push the door closed again.

Lord was ready for that and had his palm slammed flat against it and his foot jammed against the bottom. It was easy for him to overpower Cat and push his way past her, kicking the door closed after he was inside.

"Get the hell out of my home," Cat insisted, voice dripping with venom.

"Oh, I don't think I'll be leaving without you," he said, smoothly pulling a small semi-automatic sig sauer pistol from the back of his waistband. "You know, I hear this is the same model the FBI uses," he said, turning it slightly this way and that as if discussing a particularly interesting fountain pen.

"You're not going to shoot me," Cat said, derisively, "and you're out of your mind if you think I'm going anywhere with you."

Cat kept her voice as even and calm as she could, wanting to keep Lord verbally sparring for her for as long as possible. She had pressed a panic button disguised as a light switch when he'd muscled by her, and she just needed to keep him occupied until the police arrived. Or Alex and Maggie. She wasn't sure which would be better. For certain Lord would suffer more injuries being taken into custody if Alex was the one to get her hands on him first.

Lord's eyes had grown darker, and his expression harder as she'd mocked him, and he stared at her with pure hatred. It sent a small shiver down Cat's spine, but she had faced irate board members and been embedded in war-zones. It took more than an egotistical bastard to intimidate her enough that it showed. Instead she stared right back at him as if he was no more than a troublesome bit of dog excrement she'd accidentally tracked into the penthouse.

Each of them was waiting for the other to make the next move when a voice from behind them toppled the delicate balance of power between them.

"Cat? Did you get up and make coffee?" asked a still-sleepy sounding Kara as her light footsteps thumped lightly on the wood floor.

It wasn't until she was closer that she looked around and fully took in the scene before her. Cat watched as all of the blood seemed to drain from Kara's face, and she wondered if it was possible for the Kryptonian to pass out from shock. She saw Kara's slender fingers curl into fists, no doubt to hide their shaking, and she saw an all-too-familiar terror in her blue eyes. It was something she recognized from numerous times comforting the woman following a nightmare.

"M-M-Mr. Lord," Kara stuttered, the honorific slipping from her mouth still as ingrained a habit as it ever had been.

"It's all right," Cat said firmly, before Kara could say anything else. "He's leaving."

It was a lie, but she was hoping the authorities would show up soon and she wasn't sure if Kara was more liable to break down or lash out. If the latter happened, she was sure that Maxwell Lord's brains would end up splashed across the wall and then Kara would later suffer from the guilt of taking a life, even one as odious as his.

"Well, well, well. It looks like I'm even luckier than I thought," Lord said with false cheer. "I knew it. I just knew that my most perfect subject had to have run across your path, Cat," he said as he started to walk closer to Kara and Cat mirrored him, remaining between the two. "How else would you know all of the little details? All of the tortures I kept especially for her." The words almost oozed from between his lips and he kept his entire focus on the former Alpha.

"Kara, just go back into your room," Cat told her, looking rapidly between her and Lord.

"Oh no, Cat, she's not going anywhere. In fact, I'll even accept a trade. I'll leave you here and take her with me instead."

"She's not going anywhere, and she'd snap your neck if you tried, you stupid ass," Cat said harshly, fire in her eyes as she looked at him.

He had the audacity to laugh; a full, throaty laugh, as if thoroughly amused by Cat's supposition. Then he was reaching into his pocket with his free hand and tossing a pair of narrow steel cuffs to the floor in front of Kara's feet. A second later and a sickly green glow began to emanate from them and Kara gasped and wrapped a hand around her stomach.

"You really think I'd come here without some sort of protection against this creature?" he scoffed as the green glow grew stronger and then the cuffs sprang open, a hinge allowing them to split apart.

"Get out of here, Kara. Now!" Cat shouted, but Kara was looking at the gun in Lord's hand and shaking her head.

"Carter," she whispered. "I can't let him take you."

"I'll be fine, Kara. Just listen to me!"

But she was already kneeling on the floor and reaching over to grasp the cuffs in her hands, wincing as the kryptonite burned her fingertips.

Lord's expression was now one of pure evil glee and he boasted, "I'm going to truly enjoy retraining you."

"You fucking bastard, the authorities will be all over you as soon as you leave here!" Cat raged while she watched helplessly as Kara snapped the cuffs around her wrists.

"Oh, they'll catch me, you're absolutely right," he said airily. "But I have my ways. I have my secrets. I'll have at least a few weeks with her. A few weeks to destroy her once and for all. I mean, what's the difference now? I think we all know how the trial will end, and I'll be rotting away in prison for the rest of my life. I might as well have some fun before that happens."

"Turn them off!" Cat exploded, getting right into Lord's face despite the gun he still held pointed in her direction.

He shoved her away and she stumbled, causing Kara to call out to her and try to keep her from falling, but she was already too weakened to do much more than reach for her. The look she pinned on Lord a second later though, filled with pure hatred, actually made him blink and take a half-step back. He hadn't seen a look like that from her since the first day he'd held her in captivity. Yes, he was definitely going to have some work ahead of him, but he had the facilities, deep in the woods of Montana, and he would make the most of his time before his inevitable arrest.

"This has been fun," he said to both of them, "but I'm sure I've overstayed my welcome. It was kind of you to look after my little pet, Cat, but I'll just take her off your hands now."

He took two long strides forward and yanked Kara to her feet just a second before the door behind him blew open, splintered wood flying through the air and angry shouts following right after.

"Get your fucking hands off my sister!" Alex Danvers screamed, pointing a particularly nasty looking gun directly at Lord's heart.

Maggie was right beside her, sidearm raised and focused on the man's head. Both of their right boots bore scuff marks from where they'd kicked the door in in tandem.

Lord was momentarily stunned, hand gripping harder on Kara's bicep, and his own gun wavering between the two furious women. Cat settled his indecision by kicking him hard in the back of his left knee and then slamming the steel coffee pot against the back of his head. He dropped like a stone and Alex and Maggie surged forward as one, Alex catching her sister before she could fall, and Maggie rolling Lord over, looking for whatever was controlling the kryptonite cuffs.

"Front left pocket," Cat murmured, feeling the surge of adrenaline leaving her body.

She sank to her own knees beside Kara and helped Alex keep her calm. It was only a few more seconds before Maggie found the remote controller and pressed a few buttons to first turn the cuffs off and then unlock them. Kara felt her strength returning almost immediately, and she grabbed the cuffs and crushed them in her hands, the inactivated synthetic kryptonite crumbling to dark green dust against the marble floor of the entry-way.

"How? How did you two know?" Cat asked, even as she heard policemen running down the hall from the elevator.

"This asshole knocked out your doorman. We figured you were the only one here who'd have an enemy well-known enough to bother doing that to avoid being detained."

One of Cat's smug smiles pulled at the corners of her mouth and she told them, "Good thinking. Of course I wouldn't expect anything less from the two of you."

It was a rare compliment from a woman who normally only handed them out to her son and, nowadays, Kara, so Alex and Maggie both shared a look before grinning back at her.

"It's a lucky thing you took him out," Alex said darkly, "although I'd have given almost anything to put a bullet through his damn chest and watch him bleed out in front of me."

"Alex..." Kara said quietly, not liking her sister talking like that even about Maxwell Lord.

"Sorry, Kara, but I know what he did to you, and there is no prison bad enough to give him what he really deserves."

The police had arrived and the four women stood up, some on shaky legs, and motioned towards the unconscious man at their feet.

"I'm sure you'll recognize his face," Cat said grimly. "Kindly make sure he isn't allowed off his leash again until his permanent cell is assigned."

A couple of the uniformed officers started to rouse Lord, who was slowly coming around, and the more or less dragged him from the penthouse while a few more senior officers remained.

"You know we're going to need statements," said the eldest looking of the three.

"Hey, I'm one of you guys," Maggie said, pulling out her badge and bolstering her gun. "I'll make sure all the paperwork gets done. You just take care of him and try to keep it out of the press if you can."

It was again the eldest officer who spoke as he looked from Maggie, to Cat Grant- whom he of course recognized - to the taller blonde who was wrapped up in the CEO's arms. Flashes of the blurry news footage of the helicopter accident sprang to his mind and he hadn't made detective just because of his seniority.

"Yeah, don't worry. We'll keep it under wraps," he promised, with a nod and a look of solidarity towards his fellow officers.

They left the penthouse, pulling the battered door closed as much as the splintered frame allowed.

"This is not how I expected breakfast to go," Maggie quipped.

"Yeah, we brought bagels and donuts and cinnamon buns and everything," Alex agreed, motioning to the bulging backpack strapped to Maggie's back. "We took my bike, so we couldn't exactly carry them in our hands," she said by way of explanation.

"Nothing says we can't still eat," Kara spoke for the first time since everything had happened.

Her voice was soft, but with a thread of strength running through it which the other women were relieved to hear.

"True enough, Little Danvers," Maggie said, slipping the pack from her shoulders.

Kara eagerly accepted it and retreated with the short brunette to the kitchen to unpack the goodies onto the counter.

"I need to come back for her later after I've tested the remains of those cuffs," Alex said quietly, gesturing to the pile of twisted metal and green dust.

"I think she's going to need some time to process what just took place after she has something in her stomach," Cat replied.

Alex nodded in agreement. "Take care of her for me," she said seriously, brown eyes meeting green.

"Of course."


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes to a head, and feelings are revealed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am feeling very unsure about this chapter and what its reception might be. Messages to let me know what you think about direction, pacing, etc.. would be very warmly welcomed.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Maggie and Alex didn't stay long after the police leave. Maggie wanted to go to the station to ensure that Lord is properly dealt with, and Alex wanted to get the remains of the kryptonite cuffs back to the DEO. She wanted to make sure Lord hadn't altered them from his original design in a way that could cause unforeseen future effects. She wouldn't put anything past that bastard. The two of them left after grabbing a couple of pastries, and Kara and Cat remained in the kitchen, sitting at the counter sipping on their coffees and picking at the food.

Cat was trying to give Kara some space to settle herself after coming face to face with the person who had hurt her so much. She chanced furtive glances to her right every once in a while, but mostly pretended to be intensely interested in the depths of her cup.

The intention was a good one, but the quiet didn't have the soothing effect she had intended. With nothing else to occupy it, Kara's mind was replaying the scene over and over again. Her fingers tapped nervously against the rim of her cup as she remembered the frightened look in Cat's eyes when she'd put the cuffs onto her wrists. Cat had been terrified - for her - and Kara's brow furrowed as she considered all of the implications of that. She hadn't even hesitated to agree to go with Lord, because she couldn't imagine Cat going through one-tenth of what she'd experienced at his hand. She had invoked Carter's name as the reason, and it was true that Kara would never be able to do anything that caused a child to lose his mother, but there had been more than just that driving her actions.

For weeks she had been pushing down her growing feelings, trying to ignore them, or accepting them but steadfastly pushing them aside. She was falling in love with Cat, hell she was probably already in love with her, and she had no idea what to do with those feelings. For two years, emotion had been violently suppressed. Survival, obedience, actions: those were all that she was allowed to consider. There was no place for any feeling other than fear. Now, after months living with Cat, every part of her had started coming back to life, including all of those tender feelings that now wound around her heart when she thought of the woman who had given her so much.

But that was exactly the problem. Cat was her savior, her champion, and she had given her more than she'd ever expected to have again. She had done all of that as a stranger and then a friend, but there was nothing else. Cat was a friend and she couldn't expect more from her. What they had together was already precious to Kara and she didn't want to do anything to risk it all crumbling because she couldn't just be satisfied.

So now, as she thought of Cat's horror-stricken expression, and Lord's evil smirk, she felt waves of nausea coil in her stomach as she imagined what could have happened if she hadn't come out of her room, or if she hadn't been strong enough to submit.

Because it had taken all the strength in her soul not to turn and run away the second she saw Maxwell Lord standing in a place that had become her safe space. Snapping those cuffs on her wrists, hearing that quiet 'snick' of the lock and feeling that horrible familiar feeling of weakness and pain flooding her body had been one of the hardest things she had ever done. But she hadn't wavered because she would rather take all the tortures Lord could dream up rather than have Cat experience any of them.

Finally, she couldn't stand her circular thoughts a moment longer and she stood up and pushed back her cup.

"I - I need to go sit on the balcony," she said quietly, not looking at Cat as she turned and quickly crossed to the sliding doors.

Cat snapped out of her own reverie, and watched the younger woman walk away. She sighed and raised her cup of cold coffee, making a face when it touched her lips. Abandoning it, she went to follow Kara outside.

The younger woman was leaning against the railing, and Cat walked up beside her and joined her in looking at the cityscape.

"Are you doing all right?" she asked slowly.

"Fine," Kara replied.

Cat looked down at her fingers and saw a bit of red out of the corner of her eye. She reached over and lightly touched the burn mark around Kara's left wrist.

"I should get you some cream for that," she said, throat tightening as she thought of what Kara had already been through, and what she had been willing to go through to protect a woman she'd only known for a matter of months.

"It's nothing," Kara brushed aside Cat's concern. "Really. It's already much better than when it first happened. It will be completely healed by lunchtime."

Cat shook her head and her fingers lingered on Kara's skin.

"Stupid," she muttered. "You shouldn't have done that. What were you thinking?" She hadn't meant to say that, hadn't meant to sound so accusatory, but that was exactly how it came out.

Kara's eyes widened and she gaped at Cat for a second before saying, "I wasn't going to let him take you!"

"He wouldn't have made it out of the building," Cat told her. "Even if your sister and Maggie hadn't shown up, I'd already hit a panic button to call the police. I was just trying to stall him."

"Well I didn't know that," Kara said, softer but still bristling.

"That's exactly my point," Cat said, sounding uneasy. "You didn't know help was on the way and you were still willing to just hand yourself over to him so that he'd leave me alone."

"I still couldn't let you leave with him if I could stop it," Kara insisted. "It's my fault he was here at all. I'm the reason you wrote those articles. I'm the reason he's on trial." She clenches her fingers around the railing and then quickly releases it before she does any damage. "You saved my life... I care about you... so much..." she stammered, "and the thought of him..."

"Kara..." Cat wants to say that the woman isn't responsible, Lord is, but the words sound false even in her head.

She is also stopped by the fact that if Carter wasn't in the picture, and help hadn't been on the way, she can easily imagine throwing herself in front of Lord's gun before letting him step foot outside the penthouse with Kara in his clutches. Her feelings for the blonde have been keeping her on edge ever since she watched as the woman she'd come to care for sank to her knees in pain. But Kara is finally getting her life back. She shouldn't feel the need to sacrifice it for anything.

"I worry," Cat said, very quietly. "I worry that what you are feeling for me is more than it should be."

Kara whipped her head up to look at Cat's face, stunned expression on her own. Could Cat tell how she felt? What was she saying?

"You don't owe me anything for helping you," Cat went on, only further confusing Kara. "and I think, sometimes, that being at LordTech for so long... being under Max Lord's control... It's something you still aren't over - will probably never be completely over - and I don't want you to go from feeling he owned you to feeling that I expect anything, that you somehow belong to me now instead of him..."

Kara pushed back from the railing and just stared. She ran shaking fingers through her hair, trying to steady herself, and then she looked at Cat with something between hurt and longing in her eyes.

"I don't think you own me," she said angrily. "I don't think you expect anything or are trying to control me," she went on, breath harsh as she raked her fingers through her hair again. "I love you! That... that is why I'd give myself to him to protect you. I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you."

Her hands were up and reaching towards Cat as if unsure whether any kind of contact would be welcome. Cat's eyes were bright, but she looked she'll-shocked, and Kara pulled back her hands and covered her mouth.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to tell you... Not now anyway... Not until I was fully independent..."

For a few precious seconds, Cat felt warmth wrap around her heart and happiness tingled in her fingertips. Then she squeezed her eyes shut and furiously pushed those feelings down.

"Kara," she said slowly, "I know you think you love me," she went on, barely managing to keep her voice from cracking over the word love, "and you know I care about you so deeply, which is why I'm telling you that what you think you're feeling isn't real. It's gratitude and relief and some damn Florence Nightingale syndrome all wrapped up together, but it's not love. You've been robbed of two years, but you're still young. You have a whole life in front of you and I'm - well, I'm practically twice your age and I'm cynical, bitter and work-obsessed at the best of times. You'll see... What you're confused, and what you think you feelwill fade as you start going out and meeting more people."

She had been pacing in front of Kara as she spoke, not daring to look at her, but gesturing with her hands and finally stopping to look hesitantly over towards where Kara stood, as still as the building itself.

"No," Kara said, eerily calm. "Don't tell me I'm confused. Don't tell me I don't know what I want. My parents sent me here to Earth without ever listening to what I wanted. Then Kal sent me off to live with the Danvers before I even got a chance to tell him what I wanted. And then Maxwell Lord spent two - " Kara's voice started to crack and Cat took a hesitant step forward, but the younger woman held up a hand and looked at her with a strength she had only seen a few times before. "He spent two years trying to strip me of every personal need or desire." Kara's eyes softened and she looked at her beseechingly. "But you... You gave all that back to me. You made me believe that I could have a life - that the things I wish for aren't impossible. So you can say that you don't feel the same way, or that you're freaked out or disgusted, or whatever, because those are your feelings, and you're entitled to them. But don't tell me that my feelings aren't real or that they're wrong. My feelings aren't wrong, Cat. They're mine."

Cat stood there, part of her struggling to keep herself from pulling Kara into her arms, and the other half shouting at her to just tell Kara how she really felt. She opened her mouth but closed it without saying a word. Kara's shoulders drooped and she looked down at her feet.

"I think I'm going to wait in my room until Alex gets back," she said quietly. "I - I'm sorry, Cat..." and it seemed like she was going to say more, but then she just fell silent and shook her head.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," Cat assured her, attempting to sound completely emotionless. "I think we're both still in shock. We just need a little time and space for things to get back to normal."

Kara nodded, just slightly, and then slipped past the smaller woman and through the door. Cat let herself collapse on the sofa and simply stared out into the distance wondering what the hell she was going to do now.

She spent most of the next few hours debating whether or not to go knock on Kara's door and make sure she knew how much their friendship meant to her, and that she would be there for her - just as a friend. In the end she didn't know if she would be able to lie right to Kara's face without cracking.

She knew she was doing the right thing. She knew that this was for the best. Kara needed to experience a life untethered from anyone. She had to decide what she wanted to do with her career, her powers, her future and she needed to do it without feeling like she had to make sure her decisions met with a stubborn CEO's expectations.

Instead of going to Kara, she called Carter. He hadn't seen the accident live because he and his father had been on a plane across the country, but he had seen the reports in the morning, and Cat's texts and emails couldn't compare to a real conversation. Cat felt herself relaxing as she spoke to her son. He was excited about Kara's heroic rescue, but Cat urged him to keep his enthusiasm toned down at least a bit because they didn't know if Kara wanted to be a superhero like her cousin, and even if she did, a secret identity would be in her best interest.

When she hung up from Carter, it was just past lunch, and Kara still hadn't come out of her room. Cat assumed that she was getting her emotions out by painting, and expected her to emerge with paint smudged on her fingers and forehead. A light knock on the door was more startling than Cat wanted to admit. This time she looked through the peep hole before opening the door despite knowing who it was likely to be. She'd thought she'd known who was at the door that morning too, after all.

Now though, it was Alex who waited on the other side, and Cat pulled open the battered door - only the deadbolt was holding it closed - and ushered her inside.

Alex peered around, looking for her sister and then looked questioningly at Cat.

"Where's Kara?"

"In her room," Cat told her, lips pressing together as she tried to decide what to tell the agent.

Alex's eyes narrowed and she stepped towards Cat.

"Something happened. What?"

"Kara and I had a somewhat emotional discussion," Cat said, skirting around the truth.

"Jesus Christ, what did you do, bare your soul and declare your undying love for her?"

"What?" Cat nearly shouted in surprise.

"Oh c'mon, Cat. Maggie and I have a bet going on who's going to snap first. I let Kara stay here because I thought you were serious about wanting to help her and make sure she got her life back. I kept letting her stay here even after I started to suspect that something was going on underneath the surface, because she was happy. I expected you to keep her that way. I expected you to be the responsible, logical one and not take advantage - "

"I was!" Cat said, anger behind her words even as she kept them low enough that Kara wouldn't be disturbed. "I never planned to tell her anything," she said quieter, calming herself down with deep breaths. "She's the one who opened up to me, and when I told her she didn't know what she was really feeling... Well, let's just say she didn't take that very well."

"Damnit," Alex cursed, pressing her palm to her temple. "I was hoping that none of this would come to a head until she was out and living on her own and I could properly get behind a relationship between the two of you."

"Wh- what?" Cat was now completely confused.

"I like you, Cat. I didn't at first, I'll admit that, but I've watched you with Kara. I've seen how you protect her, how you take care of her while still urging her to take care of herself. I can see why she would fall for you and, well, she's irresistible, so obviously spending an extended amount of time with her was going to lead to you having feelings," she teased trying to lighten the mood slightly. "But as her sister, clearly I couldn't fully condone a relationship while she's still living here and somewhat dependent on you and just getting back on her feet."

Cat let out a long, exhausted sounding breath and walked to the sofa to sit down.

"Well, I was not expecting that," she said.

Alex flopped down next to her and propped her elbows on her knees.

"I'm guessing that trying to let her down gently and explain things to her didn't go well."

"You guess correctly."

"Well did you tell her the truth? That you do have feelings for her, the time just isn't right?"

Cat shook her head. "No. That would just make her try harder to convince me that the time IS right. No, she needs time for herself, to figure out what she really wants. Because she may very well discover that it isn't me, and I would prefer that not happen after I've fully committed myself," she said with a self-deprecating shrug.

Alex didn't say anything to that. There really wasn't anything she could say to make the situation easier.

"I expect that she will be coming down the hall shortly, with her little suitcase packed," Cat glanced over her shoulder as she spoke.

"You think she's going to want to leave?" Alex was surprised.

"You think she'd want to stay after baring her heart and being rejected? No. No matter how afraid of the outside world she is, I think she'll risk it rather than stay here with me. At least I know she'll be in good hands," she said meaningfully.

"Absolutely. You've done a lot for my sister - more than - "

"Let me just stop you there," Cat held up her hand. "I don't want any thanks, and I'd prefer to skip over this whole sappy speech."

At that moment, Alex rose to her feet as she saw Kara walk into view. Towing a suitcase behind her.

"Alex," she greeted her sister somberly, without a hint of a smile.

"Cat mentioned that you might want to come stay with me for a while," Alex saved Kara from having to make any awkward explanations, without revealing what Cat had told her.

"Ye- yes, that's right," Kara nodded firmly. "With the whole superhero-ing thing that happened yesterday, I think it's better if I'm closer to the DEO and not seen with Cat so much."

"That makes sense," Alex agreed, as if Kara was excited about the change instead of pale and miserable looking, with a hint of redness around her eyes.

Cat had risen to her feet, and she joined the sisters in the entry-way.

"I'll let Carter know," she said. "Perhaps you could email him..."

"Of course!" Kara looked stricken, suddenly remembering the other person she was leaving behind.

"And I expect we'll be seeing each other soon. A nice friendly lunch. There are some lovely restaurants around CatCo."

"Yes... soon," Kara said but they both knew that lunch would probably never materialize. 

This was goodbye, and it was tearing both of them apart.

Cat wanted to step forward and wrap her arms around Kara, but she couldn't make her feet move and part of her wasn't sure if she'd be able to let go. Alex was shifting her weight from side to side, uncomfortable with the heaviness that had come over them. In the end it was Kara who let go of her suitcase and swiftly pulled Cat into a tight hug. It was quick, but long enough for her to breathe in Cat's scent, which had come to mean home to her.

"I'll miss you," she whispered, and then she pulled back and was out the door almost before Alex and Cat could blink.

"I'll call you," Alex promised.

Cat watched her go; watched both of them as they walked to the elevator. Then she closed the door and leaned against it, half wishing she had never taken that shortcut through the park.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara gains some independence and makes a decision about what to do with her powers...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, but the next chapter should come quickly. I do seem to write them in pairs with a longer span in between!
> 
> I'm sorry that I rarely respond to comments, but please know I read and love every one of them.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

For the first two days, Kara wouldn't leave Alex's apartment. Her sister had to go into work at the DEO and she didn't want to become her annoying little shadow so she told her that she would be fine. But the noises were different from the lofty, isolated penthouse. She could hear the television two floors down and a police siren three blocks away and a couple bickering on the sidewalk outside. It was unsettling and she shut herself in the bedroom and tried to paint. Her fingers were clumsy, and her inspiration muted. She painted over everything with white so she could try again without wasting canvas.

Alex allowed her those two days to isolate herself, but after that, she started to push, and she wasn't particularly subtle about it.

"You should think about looking for a job," she said over dinner. "Not that I'm saying you're a leech or something!" she was quick to assure. "I just think you might get lonely here all day and half the night. You know how long my shifts can be, and there's no Carter here to keep you company."

Kara looked down at her plate and said, "I know. I know I need to do that. And I know if I wasn't here, you'd probably be with Maggie right now, and I hate that I'm disrupting that."

"Hey! No. Don't talk like that. You are the most important thing to me and Maggie knows that. You're my sister, and I'm here for you. Anyway, Maggie and I usually sneak in some time to see each other during the day. Working on similar cases means our work intersects quite a bit."

"Well, that's good at least," Kara replied with a sigh.

Alex pressed her lips together and wished she hadn't said anything. Maybe it was too soon, but she didn't want to see Kara regress into a hermit state again after making so many strides forward.

"There's also the small matter of the flying mystery woman and where she's gone and when will she return..." 

Alex was actually reluctant to bring the subject up because she didn't want Kara putting herself in danger, but J'onn had requested that she at least mention it because if another superhero was going to come on the scene, the DEO needed to be involved. When J'onn had said that, Alex had looked in his eyes and seen past the director and into the man who was quickly becoming attached to a particular pair of sisters. If Kara was going to start flying around, he wanted to be able to protect her as best he could.

"I really haven't thought about that," Kara said glancing away in her standard avoidance tactic.

"Mm-hmm."

"Okay, I've thought about it a little, but right now... I just don't think... I mean I want to, but everything is so MUCH all of a sudden..."

"Since you lost the support system you had in Cat and Carter," Alex said quietly.

Kara looked at her sister and saw a mix of emotions on her face. Sympathy, yes, but also a bit of guilt or maybe jealousy? She knew that Alex hadn't exactly been happy when she'd remained at Cat's place, and she knew it had to have hurt her sister to believe that she was somehow second best or not as good as Cat who was a complete stranger.

"What?" Kara feigned exaggerated surprise. "No! Pfft... I've still got you... and Maggie. You're more than enou -"

Alex held up her hand and cut her off, an amused but still vulnerable smile on her lips.

"It's okay, Kara. At first I wasn't thrilled with your arrangement, but I understand it better now, especially now that I have Maggie to wake me up from my own nightmares. It's different having someone who wasn't there with you, someone you don't have to feel guilty about," she admitted. "And Cat has been that person for you, and she also provided you with your first safe space outside LordTech. You're bound to miss that."

With a teary sort of smile, Kara nodded her head and then said, "Yeah... I do miss it. I miss her. She would have had good advice about what to do next."

"You're right, I'm sure she would have, but Kara, you have to make your own decisions too, and know that they are right for you no matter what anyone else thinks."

Kara scoffed lightly.

"Now you sound just like her."

"Cat?"

"She said almost the same thing when we were talking and I told her... it doesn't matter..." she trailed off.

Alex reached over and rested her hand over Kara's.

"It matters," she said softly. "And I'm not going to lie to you, even by omission. Cat told me a little bit about what you two talked about - about why you suddenly wanted to leave."

"No, no, I really was wanting to move in with you and be closer to the DEO and make sure that Cat's not seen..." Alex was just looking at her and Kara sighed. "Fine, that was part of it."

"It's okay, Kara. I know that now you're probably hurt and confused on top of everything else you have going on, but things will work themselves out."

"I hope so," Kara said in a very small voice, and her sister squeezed her hand.

The next morning, Kara went to the DEO with Alex and worked with J'onn on her self-control and reactive behaviors. It was hard work, emotionally, but she could feel parts of herself stitching themselves back together in her mind, and she was so grateful to J'onn for his help.

She met Alex after her session and Alex handed her a sheet of paper.

"What's this?" she asked.

"It's a job that's been posted by the National City Museum's community art center," Alex told her. "They're looking for an instructor for their after school program. It would be working with kids, and art, two things you love. I know it's not the same as your old work, but you did minor in studio art, and this just seems like a good match for you now."

"And it just happened to come across your desk?" Kara said, one eyebrow raised.

"I might possibly have had Winn running searches for suitable jobs for you," Alex confessed, linking her hands behind her back.

Winn Schott was one of the newer DEO recruits, but an asset for his IT expertise. Kara had met him once or twice and been struck by how friendly he was with her. He never treated her like an Alpha or an alien or anything other than plain old Kara Danvers. She looked down and read the job description and requirements more carefully.

"This does look kind of perfect," she admitted.

"I knew it!" Alex clapped her hands. "It was just posted ten minutes ago, so I have already had Winn work up your resume and I can take you by the museum at lunchtime."

"How on Earth is he writing my resume?" Kara exclaimed.

"He may have hacked the university as well as your old job's server to get your work reviews and information," Alex said, trying to sound casual.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

The following Monday, Alex returned to her apartment for lunch and found Kara nervously shuffling through clothes that were laid out on the bed. Much to her shock, she was starting work that afternoon. It was a stroke of luck that the original art teacher had been forced to move closer to her family, and the classes were about to start. The art center had been relatively desperate to get a warm body for the position since there were many children signed up for classes. Kara's resume hadn't been spectacular, since she really had no formal art teacher experience, but Alex had all of Kara's paintings from before her capture and the sisters had brought a small selection of them to the museum when she'd dropped off her resume. That, combined with the interview, where Kara had tried to channel her old bubbly self, had been enough for her to be hired on a contingency basis.

"Wear the blue dress," Alex advised. "Blue is definitely your color."

Kara looked at her sister with slightly terrified eyes.

"I can't believe I'm doing this. What if something happens? What if I hurt someone? What if I freak out because there's a loud noise or something?"

"Kara, shhhhhh. Calm down, sweetie," Alex said comfortingly as she slung her arm around Kara's shoulders. "You have come so, so far. You are ready for this. You've been working with J'onn. You haven't had any panic attacks, even small ones, since that time in the DEO. You're going to be just fine. Remember, you're teaching cute little kids! You love kids!"

Kara smiled. "I do love kids," she remarked.

She straightened up and took a deep breath.

"You're right. I'm ready," she repeated.

And the words turned out to be completely true. Kara sailed through her first afternoon and evening as an art teacher and arrived back at Alex's apartment beaming and full of chatter about every child she'd met. Alex's own smile stretched across her face. These were the first excited smiles she'd seen on her sister since they'd left Cat's penthouse over a week ago.

"I'm so happy for you!" she exclaimed. "I knew you'd be perfect there. Kids have always loved you."

"Well, I don't know about that," Kara demurred, "but these kids seemed to think I was okay. And they were so good! So cute and sweet and -"

"Hold on, hold on there, super-teacher," Alex grinned. "Maggie's on her way over with dinner. Want to save some of the stories for her?"

Kara nodded, still smiling like a little kid after a trip to an amusement park.

"Good. Then help me empty the dishwasher so we actually have plates to eat off of," Alex teased.

The sisters worked side by side and were just finishing up when a key sounded in the lock and Maggie let herself in.

"Little Danvers, you look happy," she said with her trademark dimples showing.

She had a brown paper bag with the smell of Chinese food wafting from it, and she set it on the counter.

"Kara here had a great first day at work," Alex said proudly.

Maggie moved forward to wrap Kara into an unexpected hug and said, "That's fantastic. I'm happy for you, Kara."

Kara was still smiling when the two women parted, and that in itself showed how much she had changed since her escape. Only months earlier, an unexpected hug would have had her flinching and racing for her bedroom. Now she welcomed it. She felt safe and happy with Alex and Maggie, and she was still excited to tell all the details of her first day at work. The only thing that would have made her more content was if Cat was there as well, but she quickly stifled those feelings, choosing to let herself be happy with what she had.

They were half-way through dinner and probably only a third of the way through Kara's numerous stories, when Kara suddenly went still, potsticker poised in front of her mouth.

"Kara? What is it?" Alex asked worriedly.

There was no answer, just the quick rush of air as Kara sped out of the apartment through one of the open windows.

"Kara!" Alex called after her, but the blonde was already out of sight.

"Turn on the TV," Maggie said, rushing to the sofa.

Alex grabbed the remote and clicked on a local channel. Her fingers went white around the remote, and her other hand clutched at Maggie's knee while they watched an insipid sitcom play out before them. Then, about two minutes later, the screen flashed and the CatCo news team was on the air, with a scroll bar running across the bottom touting another appearance of the mystery female hero.

A fire downtown had trapped a family of five on the top floor. The firefighters had been able to rescue the parents, but the children had hidden themselves away, not coming out even for their frantic mother and father. But then in a blur of blue, a female figure had flown in through a window, straight into the billowing smoke. She had emerged a few seconds later carrying two children and had sped to the ground with them before rushing back into the burning apartment building. Another few tense seconds passed, and then she flew back out with the last child clinging to her neck. She'd handed the boy to his father and then shot up into the sky before anyone could talk to her or get more than a cursory look at her soot-smudged features.

"Oh my God," Alex murmured lowly.

"Your sister wasn't kidding when she said she loves kids," Maggie quipped.

Chinese food was forgotten on the kitchen island as the two women sat watching the news coverage and barely blinking. There was some fuzzy video and a few photos shot from a distance with cell phones, but nothing clear. Alex was grateful for the advancing seasons bringing dusk earlier and earlier.

After an hour, the newscasters had finally run out of things to say, and switched back to regular programming. Alex leaned back and started muttering.

"Where the hell is she? Did she go off flying around the world or something?"

"Babe, I'm sure she'll be back soon."

"What if she's hurt? What if she got too much smoke in her lungs?"

Maggie took Alex's face in her hands and looked into her eyes.

"Alex, from everything you've told me, and everything I've heard about Superman, a little fire is not going to leave your sister with so much as a sneeze or a scratch."

She chuckled a little at herself, and that drew a reluctant smile from Alex.

"Yeah, I suppose so. I still wish she'd get her ass back here."

A gust of wind and a fluttering curtain later, and Alex's wish was granted.

"Wow," Kara said, sounding and looking awed at what she had done. "I just saved a bunch of kids from a fire!"

"We know," Maggie said. "It's been on the news for an hour and Alex here has been going nuts waiting for you to get back."

Kara looked ever so slightly ashamed.

"Sorry? I needed to burn off some energy - hey, I made a pun! But seriously, I just needed to fly around above the clouds for a while and I figured I shouldn't come straight back here anyway."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," Alex grumbled as she rose from the sofa and pulled her sister into a hug. She quickly pushed her away. "Sheesh, for an hour of flying, you still smell like smoke. Go take a shower and then we're heading to the DEO."

"Tonight?" Kara pouted.

Alex rolled her eyes and Maggie grinned, knowing the older woman was done for.

"Fine, first thing in the morning. If you're going to keep flying around, then you can't keep doing it in jeans and dresses."

And by first thing in the morning, Alex meant six-thirty a.m. Even Maggie was complaining when Alex woke up and started the shower and then went to rouse her sister. Early mornings were meant for cuddles and possibly more bedroom - and bathroom, and living room and kitchen - activities, not for work. Kara seemed to agree with the spirit of those thoughts if not the exact details, at least if the cranky mumbling coming from the other bedroom was anything to go by.

Once at the DEO, things were not nearly as cool as Kara had expected. There were forms to fill out and paperwork to sign, and then she was being measured for some sort of super suit that. Surprisingly, Winn, the IT expert, volunteered for the job, and got right to work. A few prototypes later and by noontime, Kara emerged from the women's locker room wearing a dark blue skin-tight top, with red skirt, red boots and the iconic House of El shield on the chest.

She looked down at herself feeling slightly silly and out of place.

"I dunno... Do I look okay?" she asked her sister.

Alex stared at her. With her blonde hair flowing freely in waves past her shoulders, she was the perfect picture of a superhero.

"Yeah. You look okay," Alex said, making it clear that she was downplaying her reaction. "I think maybe you should start wearing the glasses Dad gave you when you first came to Earth," she continued. "Like your cousin does. It's not much of a disguise, but it's better than nothing and studies have shown that people only see what they expect to see when it comes to celebrities wandering among them."

"But glasses? Really?"

"Like I said, it's better than nothing," Alex said with a smile as she looped her arm through Kara's. "Now let's get you set up with a communication device. I don't want you flying off without me knowing about it."

Kara smiled at her overprotective sister. She was still a little bit skittish about the idea of taking on the mantle of a super hero, but after the previous night, she knew she wouldn't be able to just sit by while she heard and saw people she could help.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this meet with your approval? Please let me know!

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The week after Kara's departure, Cat Grant fired four assistants, two copywriters and an associate art director. She knew that she was being somewhat unreasonable in her demands for perfection, but she had to vent her frustration somehow, and home was definitely not the place. When Carter had returned to find that Kara had moved out, he'd shut himself in his room and refused to come out for dinner.

He came out later that evening, and Cat found out later that it was because he had received an email from Kara telling him not to blame his mother and that the two of them could still get together sometime after school. Carter had apologized to his mother and when he stopped to really look at her, he saw that she looked equally upset about Kara's leaving.

After that night, Cat had re-hired the nanny, but also made certain that she was home for dinner just as she had been when Kara had been there. She'd made a point of always offering to play a game or watch a movie or just talk with her son. It wasn't that she had neglected those things before Kara had fallen into their lives, but it had been easier for her to forget about them sometimes when she was in the midst of a crisis at CatCo. Kara's presence had reminded her that there were many things more important than work and many things worse than a missed deadline or a slightly imperfect first draft of the fashion layouts.

Yes, she let her anger spill over at the office, maintained a cheerful front for Carter, and spent her nights telling herself that she had no reason to feel so miserably sad and lost.

Friday afternoon, she received a surprise visitor. She was returning to her office after a meeting, and assistant number five was awkwardly waving at her.

"I'm sorry, Ms Grant. She just insisted on waiting in your office. I told her you were two busy, but she has a badge and..."

Cat dismissed the woman with a flick of her wrist, feeling a sense of deja-vu when she saw a dark head of hair over the back of one of her armchairs.

"Agent Danvers, I'd have hoped you'd call before just waltzing in," she said, schooling her voice not to betray the worry that swamped her all of a sudden. "I assume Kara is doing well?"

"Good guess, but not Alex," came the voice of Maggie Sawyer as she stood up and turned to face Cat.

"Detective Sawyer?" Cat looked and sounded confused.

"C'mon, Cat, I thought we were past formalities. I've had dinner at your place and kicked your butt in Mario Kart."

Cat rolled her eyes and took quick, short strides across her office until she was behind her desk. The piece of furniture made her feel more secure; a wall between herself and anything that would affect her emotions.

"Fine... Maggie," Cat said with a slight nod of her head, "are you here on official business?"

Maggie rolled her eyes again and flopped down into her chair, casually crossing her legs.

"You're really not going to ask?"

Cat huffed out a breath before saying, "If it will make you leave sooner, then I will. How is she doing?"

With a shake of her head and a crooked grin, Maggie answered, "She's doing surprisingly well, actually.

Cat let out an impossible to notice breath of relief and flattened her hands against the top of her desk. The surface was cool against her palms, and against the indentations that her nails had made as she'd fisted her hands while waiting for Maggie's reply.

"If that's the case, then I'm not quite sure what you're doing here. Kara is with her sister - where she probably should have been since day one - and I'm back to focusing on CatCo, which has been sadly neglected recently."

"Maybe I'm here to check up on you," Maggie said kindly.

"Pffft... I don't need your sympathy. I'm perfectly fine, as you can see."

"Yeah, about that, the hint of redness in your eyes, combined with the bottle of Visine on your desk is telling me that you're not as fine as you say."

Cat grabbed the offending bottle and sank into her chair with a scowl on her face.

"How did you even notice?" she said with a touch of bitterness.

"I'm a detective. I detect," Maggie said teasingly and Cat relaxed infinitesimally.

"Well if you must know, I haven't been sleeping that well, but any little change disrupts my sleep schedule," she said, waving a hand in airy dismissal.

"Yeah, right," Maggie scoffed. "Look, I've been around Alex and Kara pretty much every day since she left, and I know bits and pieces of exactly why she left, so you can quit the unaffected act."

Cat scowled again and said, "For a secret agent, Alex Danvers isn't very good at keeping a secret."

"Don't pin it all on her," Maggie explained, "Kara gave me the first clues and Alex just gave me a brief explanation."

"Well that's much better," Cat said sarcastically, "at least they aren't giving the details of how I broke little Kara's heart."

Maggie was quiet for a minute, thoughtfully regarding Cat before replying, "To hear Alex tell it, Kara isn't the only heartbroken one."

Cat was silent, pressing her lips together and clenching her hands again.

"And like I said, I didn't get a blow-by-blow, but I've gotta say that telling someone they don't know what they're feeling, may not be the best way to approach situations like this."

Cat leaned back, eyes half-lidded and piercing.

"I suppose you would know?" she said, voice brittle and angry.

"As a matter of fact, yeah," Maggie said, leaning back herself. "When Alex first told me she had feelings for me, I pushed her away even though I was already feeling something for her. She'd just been released from almost two years of captivity. She'd barely been in any relationships even before that. I was sure she was just grabbing on to the first warm, receptive friend she'd found."

"I'm sure Agent HardAss took that well."

Maggie laughed.

"Yeah, something like that. She was hurt and then she was pissed and then somewhere along the way I realized that I had no right to deny her feelings. I was just making both of us miserable."

With a sigh, Cat slowly closed her eyes and then looked over at Maggie with an expression of regret.

"Anyway, I got over myself and went to Alex and basically apologized for being an idiot."

"Maggie," Cat said, and her voice had lost all of its edge, "I'm glad that things worked out between you and Alex, but you have to admit that things are a lot more complicated between myself and Kara."

"Maybe," the detective shrugged, "but you're both still here in National City, you both still have feelings for each other... Kara's coming into her own now... Maybe one of you will stop being an idiot."

Cat glared for a moment, knowing who Maggie was referring to. She wanted to just tell her to leave, but she also wanted to hear more about Kara.

"You said she's doing well?" she asked.

"Yeah, in fact she got a job."

"A job?" Cat exclaimed. She had always intended to bring Kara to CatCo and find a position for her.

"Yes, she's teaching art to kids over at the museum. She starts on Monday."

"I'm - I'm glad," Cat said haltingly, surprised at the emotions - pride, happiness, but also sadness at not being able to share this important step with Kara.

Maggie stood up and nodded over her shoulder, saying, "I need to get back to the station, but I hope you find some peace, Cat. You know, Kara and you were friends before any other feelings came into the picture, and it would be a shame to just toss that away."

Cat had a pithy remark ready, but it never left her mouth. She just nodded silently and watched Maggie turn and walk out of her office. She didn't fire her assistant that afternoon, and she only shouted mild invectives at two incompetent employees. People in the office started leaving for the weekend, and she didn't even loudly suggest that they continue working. Carter was at his father's again for the weekend, so she had no reason to leave early. However, at six-thirty precisely, she gathered her own things and headed out, knowing that it would be a long and lonely weekend.

When Monday arrived, she welcomed it. She'd had too much bourbon and too much thinking over the past two days and she was looking forward to losing herself in work. Unfortunately it was an extremely slow news day. The weather was fine, there were no wildfires or accidents, nothing but the same run-of-the-mill stories, so Cat was forced to content herself with layouts and meetings and planning for the special holiday edition of the magazine.

It wasn't until she was home and watching one of Carter's favorite shows with him, that a truly newsworthy event took place, and she saw it unfolding on her own network. The fire, the rescue, the fuzzy videos and pictures of a woman she would recognize anywhere, and then she was on the phone, shouting instructions at her news producer and watching the same footage over and over again. When she hung up the phone, Carter looked over at her, wide-eyed.

"That was Kara again, wasn't it?"

She nodded, "I think so, sweetheart."

"You don't think she got hurt doing that, do you?"

Her heart clenched. "No, I'm sure she's fine, and her sister will take care of her."

"I liked it better when you were taking care of her," he said, and then rose and retreated to his room.

Cat could only sigh and watch him go, not disagreeing with him in the least.

Late into the night, Cat was working to get ahead of the story. If Kara was insistent about being some sort of hero, then she needed to be shielded from less-scrupulous news sources. CatCo needed to come out as her voice, and as the leader of public opinion.

She wrote an article about the rescue, and then a sidebar piece about the Alphas who had been released and how it could have been any one of them or even another alien who had chosen to stay hidden until recent amnesty acts had gone into effect. She played up the innocent victim of LordTech and Cadmus angle, wanting to make sure that whatever else, the people saw Kara as a force for good, and not something to be feared.

The next morning, she was in the office early, sending employees scattering with assignments. She bought the sole rights to as much of the footage and photography as she could, and refused to let her art director clean anything up to get a better look at the hero. There were some confused looks and chatter behind her back, but she ignored it, and everyone was too smart to question her to her face.

A few days later, and another heroic rescue occurred. This time it was a traffic accident that involved an ambulance on the way to the hospital. Kara had arrived on the scene, decked out in her new deep blue suit, complete with cape, and she had carried the ambulance to its destination and then gone back to help clear the other cars. She hadn't rushed off, but she hadn't really spoken to anyone either, beyond a shy "You're welcome!" and a "So long!" as she flew off.

That evening, Cat sat on her balcony with her phone in her hand. She had formally dubbed the hero Supergirl, and the rest of the media outlets were following her lead. She watched the term trending on Twitter, and scrolled through numerous pictures and articles. Then she clicked over to her messages; to the message she had written but still hadn't sent. Her thumb hovered over the button and she took a long drink and listened to the ice tumbling around the bottom of the empty glass. Her thumb pressed down, and she looked out over the city, watching the lights in the buildings flicker and the streaks of red from cars speeding down the freeway.

**I assume that was you. Hopefully you like your new name.**

Kara stared down at her phone, the new message prominently displayed. She had been staring at it for almost five minutes without moving. It had been over a week since she'd first seen it. There had been a lot of rescues since then, along with long talks with J'onn and Alex, happy hours teaching her new students, and time alone just remembering who she was.

"You know, eventually you're going to have to talk to her," Alex said over her shoulder, making her nearly lose her grip on the phone.

"What? Huh? What are you talking about?"

"Kara, you've been staring at that message, completely oblivious to everything else. I've been looking over your shoulder for the past minute and a half."

Kara closed her phone and put it down on the coffee table. Kara had been doing so well, that Alex had virtually moved in with Maggie, giving her place to her sister, but she and Alex were supposed to be having a sister's night, and Alex had just gotten up to fetch ice cream. Kara's cheeks turned faintly pink and she looked down at her lap.

"She just needed to contact me because of the whole Supergirl thing," she said, sounding hesitant and unsure.

"C'mon, Kar, you know that's not it. She made the first move. Honestly, I'm shocked. Now the ball's in your court."

"I don't know what you mean, Alex. You know how our last conversation went. There's not a whole lot more left to say."

"I disagree," Alex said, plopping herself down on the sofa and swinging her legs up and over Kara's lap as she handed her a pint of ice cream. "You've both had time to think about things. Not a lot of time, but a few weeks."

"Yeah, well Cat was pretty clear about what she was thinking, and I don't think that's changed," Kara argued.

"I don't think that Cat was even clear to herself," Alex said. "You blindsided her and she reacted. It maybe wasn't the best reaction, but I can't really blame her."

"Why are you suddenly on her side?" Kara demanded.

"I'm on the side of wanting Kara happy," Alex insisted. "Even if a relationship isn't in the cards, being with Cat - being friends with her, talking with her - it made you happy. And I can respect that Cat was trying to protect you, even if she did a half-assed job of it. She didn't want to take advantage of you," she said gently.

"She wasn't!"

"Honey, I know that's what you say and how you feel, but think about it from Cat's point of view. She'd been practically your only companion for months. She didn't want you making any decisions before you even went back out into the world."

Kara huffed and shoved ice cream into her mouth.

"I'm guessing that your feelings haven't changed?" Alex said quietly, and Kara shook her head. "Well, Cat sent you a message. Maybe she was letting you know that hers have?"

The bottom of the pint of ice cream suddenly seemed extremely interesting, and Alex didn't say anything more, but simply queued up another episode of Homeland.

That night was nearly cloudless, and the full moon was bright in the sky. When Alex went home, Kara stood looking up at the stars and planets and moon, as she stood on her fire escape. The air was cool, but there was no breeze to disturb the cape she wore. It was just after midnight when she lifted off into the air.

It was impossible, of course, but Cat almost seemed to be waiting for her. She was standing on the penthouse balcony, a mug of tea in her hand because she had decided that drinking herself into a stupor ever night wasn't doing her liver any favors. She wore black yoga pants and a loose, oversized, deep green sweater.

"I wondered if you'd ever come around," she said, and if she'd meant the words to sound harsh or accusatory, she failed miserably because they came out gentle and almost plaintive.

"I probably should have come sooner," Kara said, walking closer and studying every part of Cat from head to toe.

"I like your new look," Cat said, motioning towards Kara's suit.

Kara blushed and looked down. "Alex said I couldn't keep going out in jeans and dresses."

"Smart woman."

"I've missed you," Kara said finally, the words she'd really been longing to say for weeks.

Cat's eyes grew misty and she took a step forward.

"As much as I wanted to deny it, I've missed you too, Kara. So much."

Kara wasn't sure if she should, but she no longer cared, and she reached out and pulled Cat into her warm, all-encompassing embrace.

"If you just want us to be friends, I'm okay with that," she said softly, voice breaking at the end. "I just don't want to lose you entirely."

Cat clutched at Kara's shoulders under the cape, and pressed her face against Kara's neck.

"I think I would rather admit my own feelings and ask you out on a date, if it's all the same to you," she said, and though her voice was slightly muffled, Kara heard every word, and held on all the tighter.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A beautiful first date...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, an update. I would put the standard apology here, but I really do feel particularly bad about the delay. At least, I didn't leave it at a cliff-hanger last time!

Chapter Thirty

Cat and Kara spent most of the night curled up beside each other on the balcony's plush sofa. There were some words spoken; mostly admissions of how they had missed one another, and a few questions about what the other had been doing during their separation. As night shifted to pre-dawn and then dawn, the majority of their time was spent simply enjoying the warmth and closeness they had both been longing for.

They drifted to sleep off and on between chaste kisses and soothing touches, but their real alarm was the sound of a distant siren just after the sun had crested the far side of the city.

"Sounds like a job for Supergirl," Cat quipped lightly, brushing her lips against Kara's cheek.

"I don't want to leave," Kara admitted, pulling Cat closer with one arm wrapped around her shoulder. "But I have to go see if I can help."

Cat couldn't help tucking herself more firmly under Kara's arm and she quietly murmured, "You don't have to do anything, Kara. I know that you want to - you may even feel like you need to - but you get to decide what you want to give of yourself. No one else has that right."

"I know," Kara replied, placing a gentle kiss to the top of Cat's head before disentangling herself. "But you're right... In my heart, this feels like something I need to do."

"And that is why I named you Supergirl," Cat told her.

Kara's only answer was a shy little smile before she rose slowly into the air and then took off towards the sound of the sirens, leaving only a blur of color behind.

It was late, late that morning when Cat pushed herself up from the balcony sofa, joints stiff and eyes still bleary from lack of sleep. She'd kept herself awake for a short while, waiting for Kara to return, but when more sirens had joined the first, she had let herself drift off to sleep, head resting on the pillow Kara had been leaning against, breathing in her scent and smiling.

Almost the first thing she remembered was that she still hadn't asked Kara on the date she'd mentioned wanting. Well, she would rectify that soon enough.

Shockingly - or perhaps not, given his age - Carter was still sleeping although it was almost eleven o'clock. Cat peeked in on him as she padded down the hallway to her room, stretching out her back and running her fingers through her tousled hair. She perched on the edge of her bed, facing the windows, and reached out for the phone she'd left on her nightstand. A few quick taps later and she had invited Kara to dinner that very night.

She smiled all the wider when an affirmative response came only a few minutes later.

A few minutes after that is when Cat began to panic. What the hell was she thinking inviting her to a date that night? How was she supposed to plan something worthy of a first date within eight hours?

When Carter wandered out of his room a short time later, he found his mother pacing the length of the living room and muttering to herself while staring down at her phone.

"Um, Mom?"

Cat spun around, wide-eyed. "Carter, you're awake!"

"Um, yeah," he replied, confused. "And it's almost noon. I don't think you've ever let me sleep this late in my life. What's wrong?"

Cat tried to give a little careless laugh, but failed, and Carter just stared at her, brows knitting together, lips quirked to one side.

"Kara came over last night and we spoke," she finally told him nervously.

"Really? That's great! Does that mean you guys are friends again? Do you think she could come to dinner this week? I have a science fair project and I want to show it to her."

Cat smiled at her enthusiastic son.

"I think that's very possible," she said, "but there's a bit more I need to tell you," she went on, hesitating slightly as she went through word choices in her head like spinning a Rolodex.

"Does it have to do with you and Kara getting together?" Carter said, with all the bluntness of a pre-teen. "I mean, like, dating? You like her, right? Like-like her? 'Cause I think she likes you too."

This time Cat really did laugh, letting herself drop down onto the sofa she'd been pacing beside. Of course Carter would cut right to the heart of the matter.

"Yes, that's what I was going to tell you about," she said, hand fluttering as if to illustrate the uselessness of that announcement now. 

"Awesome!" Carter gave a little jump and pumped his fist in the air. "Her sister owes me ten bucks!"

"Really, Carter?" Cat said, eyes widening, head tilting. "You had a bet riding on the relationship between Kara and me?"

Carter seemed to sense that there was no right answer, and he stuttered out a, "uhhh, maybe?" Possibly?"

Cat let out a somewhat amused sigh, and rolled her eyes. "Well at least you are happy about it," she said.

"Absolutely!" he declared. "She made you happy, and you've been pretty miserable since she left, so now you can go back to being happy." 

Cat reached out towards him, and he stepped closer and grabbed her hand, allowing her to pull him down and into a hug.

"Thank you, Carter," she said, more grateful than she'd expected to be at her son's loving and accepting response.

"You're welcome," he answered when he stood up again. "Only..."

"Only what?" she said quickly, afraid to hear his answer.

"Just, I'm kinda starved because you didn't wake me up for our usual weekend breakfast feast. Think you have time to take me to lunch before you plan your date?"

Another laugh erupted from Cat's mouth and her whole body felt lighter.

"Go get yourself dressed, and we can go out right now."

It was while he was dressing, that Cat was struck with inspiration for her plans with Kara. At first she had considered arranging something with the National City Observatory and Planetarium. Thanks to Carter's interest in science, she had made several large donations to the organization. A few phone calls would be enough to secure a private evening for two. But it just wasn't quite right. 

Yes, Kara would probably appreciate the thoughtfulness of considering her certain interest in astronomy and the chance to see her former star-system through the high-powered telescope. That was just it, though. Krypton's system was her former home. A home that she had been ripped from as a child. As important as it was to Kara, Cat didn't want their first date to be tinged with sadness and painful memories. That would wait for another time, when they could spend the night lying beneath the domed ceiling of the planetarium, Cat cradling the younger woman as she told her stories of her parents and planet and life before Earth.

This date needed to be grounded in the present, and centered on things that Kara enjoyed in her life now. Hopefully a continuing relationship with Cat would be one of them, and Cat wanted to have their first date reflect that. She wanted Kara to know that she cared about her, but also that she cared about her feelings and needs, including her need for a sense of safety and serenity after all she had been through. With all of that spinning around in her mind, Cat landed on an idea that she thought would be perfect. By the time Carter was done dressing, she had made several phone calls and put plans in place. She would have more to do when she returned to the penthouse, but it could wait while she had lunch with her son.

Across the city, Kara was lying on Maggie Sawyer's sofa while her sister tried to talk her off a proverbial ledge.

Her visit had started hours earlier and much more embarrassingly than anticipated. 

The fire in the Chinatown district had taken longer than expected to bring under control, and she smelled of smoke and ash when she finished shaking hands with the fire fighters who remained to put out flare-ups and investigate the source of the blaze. She knew Cat wouldn't exactly mind the smudges on her cheeks or the scent that clung to her hair, but Cat was sleeping peacefully when she flew up to the penthouse balcony, and Kara realized she had too much pent-up energy to fall back to sleep. With the sun fully visible, she instead sped around the city three times before heading to Maggie Sawyer's apartment.

"Alex? Maggie?" she called as she slipped through the window they always kept open for her.

There was no answer and she wondered if they had been called into work, but stepped quietly through the apartment to check the bedroom.

"Di' you hear somethin'?" Kara heard her sister's muffled voice.

"G'back to sleep, Danvers," was the equally muffled reply.

That was when Kara pushed the door open, eager to share the night's events with the two women. And that was when she was greeted by two very naked women who sprang from the bed at the sound of their room being entered, and then scrambled for cover when they saw who it was.

"Kara!"

"Little Danvers! Damn, could ya give a little notice?"

Kara's eyes opened wide and she gasped in shock and then slammed them shut.

"I didn't want to see any of that!" she cried out as she backed out of the room.

Someone, Alex, Kara suspected, slammed the door shut while Kara plastered herself against the hallway wall opposite it. Less than a minute later, the door opened again and Alex was there with a baggy t-shirt hanging off her thin frame and covering her to mid-thigh. In the background, Maggie was still wrestling with various items of clothing and mumbling.

"Sorry?" Kara said, blushing and sheepish.

"Yeah, yeah," Alex replied, waving her hand and directing Kara towards the living room. "Maybe next time, call?"

"I will definitely call," Kara nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay, well now let's never speak of that again, and move on to you. First, you smell like a campfire. Second, you've got a goofy grin on your face. Those two things don't go together, so what's up?"

"Well," Kara began slowly, "the campfire smell is from the fire I just put out, but the smile - which is not goofy at all! - is because I went to talk to Cat before the whole fire thing."

"You talked to her?" Alex said, scootching closer to her sister on the sofa and smiling. "And things are better now? Friends again?"

"Better than friends," Kara said, covering her mouth to contain the little giggle that wanted to escape.

Alex couldn't remember the last time Kara had looked so happy and lighthearted, and she immediately flung her arms around the taller woman and hugged her close.

"Oh, Kara, I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," Kara replied, still grinning and now snuggling into Alex's arms. "We spent almost the whole night together, just talking and sitting and cuddling together. It was amazing, Alex." There was a slight catch in her voice as she continued, saying, "There was a long time where I didn't think I'd ever get a chance to feel anything like that, ever."

Sympathetic humming was Alex's response as she ran soothing circles over Kara's shoulder blades.

"I know, Kar... I know... And you deserve this so much."

Kara just nodded against Alex's shoulder and drew in a long sniffly breath.

Movement from the hallway a minute later pulled both women's attention.

"So, is someone gonna fill me in on why Kara here got an eyeful?"

A pillow flying across the room to smack Maggie in the face was the reply.

The three women ended up having an early breakfast and Maggie chuckled and grinned while listening to Kara go on and on about her night with Cat and the possibilities for the future. It was when she was talking about the future, though, that Kara suddenly stopped and then stared down at the table.

"What? What's wrong, Kar?" Alex asked immediately when she saw the change in Kara's demeanor.

"I just realized... Cat talked about... well... us... dating..." Kara stammered, hands fluttering. "But she never actually... you know... officially asked?"

Alex laughed, leading to Kara shooting her a mild glare. Maggie was close to laughing as well, but she put her hand on Alex's arm to settle her down.

"I'm sorry, Kara," Alex said, "It's just that you've spent over an hour telling us how you spent the night cuddling with the woman and now you look like someone just took your last potsticker away because Cat didn't set up a date with you."

"Well it's important!" Kara insisted. "What if..."

"Hey, don't even finish that thought," Maggie cut in. "The two of you are obviously crazy about each other, and Cat was probably too swept up in her emotions to think of anything else. And then you had to fly off and save part of the city."

"Maggie's right," Alex said, comfortingly squeezing her sister's hand. "Stop overthinking and just enjoy remembering last night."

Kara nodded and tried to follow that advice, and for the most part, it worked. She and Alex and Maggie decided to visit the open-air market for the last time before they shut down for the winter. National City never got bitterly cold, but it did tend to rain more between November and March, and as temperatures dropped even a couple dozen degrees, the citizens kept more to their homes and warmer indoor shopping options.

Before their capture by LordTech, Alex and Kara had often spent their Saturdays walking among the stalls that popped up along the sidewalks on the west side of the park. This visit was only the second one Kara had agreed to since her release. There were a lot of people, but she concentrated on the women protectively flanking her as she poked through an artist's bin of photographic prints and then wandered to a vendor selling fresh pastries and bread.

When she heard a subtle ringing tone, she looked first to Alex and then to Maggie, waiting for them to answer their phones.

"I think it's you, Kara," Alex said, pointing towards the blonde's pocketbook.

It was unexpected, because Kara was already with the person most likely to be calling or texting her, and she fumbled a little as she drew the phone from the depths of her bag. It wasn't a call, it was a text, and Kara opened it and then smiled widely as she read.

"Gonna share with the rest of the class?" Maggie asked her.

Kara held her phone out for the other two women to read. It was just a brief text, but the name next to it was 'Cat' and that made the words twice as important.

"May I pick you up for our first date at 6:30 tonight?"

"Well," Alex said with a smirk, "it looks like you have that date now."

Curling her fingers more tightly around the phone, Kara smiled even more, eyes sparkling.

"Oh no! I have no idea what to wear!" she exclaimed, launching into a long ramble of the merits of various outfits before Alex looped her arm around her waist and guided her towards the street.

It was only a minute later that Kara remembered that she still hadn't replied to Cat. She quickly tapped out a few words, and then hovered over the image of a heart on her screen. Maggie reached over and pressed down, sending the message along with the little emoji.

"Always go with the heart, Little Danvers," she said with a wink.

Eventually, Maggie was called into the precinct on a suspected alien-targeted assault and robbery, but Alex stayed with her sister, humoring her through five outfit changes.

It was five thirty before Kara was totally settled on a dress, makeup and hairstyle. Alex made her do a final twirl and declared that she looked perfect.

"You still have an hour before she gets here," Alex motioned to the clock. "Do you want me to stick around until she picks you up or would that just be awkward? Because I am totally up for giving her a shovel talk, but usually those don't happen right in front of the other person."

"Alex!" Kara exclaimed, but her sister was just smiling and rubbing her hands together with Machiavellian glee.

Kara rolled her eyes and said, "Please don't threaten Cat."

"Oh I've already threatened her," Alex replied lightly, "just not about this particular situation."

"You have?" Kara's eyebrows rose comically.

"Of course I have," Alex said, tone becoming serious as she took Kara's hand and pulled her to sit on the bed beside her. "You're my family, Kara... my little sister. I am always going to be looking out for you and warning off anyone who tries to hurt you."

A faint blush rose in Kara's cheeks and she glanced away.

"You don't have to do that, Alex. You've already given up so much for me. You should be concentrating on yourself now."

"No..." Alex sighed and shook her head. "Look, just listen to me for a minute, okay?" she waited for affirmation before continuing. "I know... I know that you still feel like everything that happened - to you, to me, everything - was your fault, but it wasn't Kara. Hell, if it was anyone's fault it was mine."

"Yours? Alex, you didn't do anything - "

"It was my plane," Alex said quietly. "If you hadn't used your powers to save me, then none of it would have happened."

Kara was rapidly shaking her head. "No way. No, Alex. You know I couldn't have done that."

"I know," Alex said, looking up at Kara out of the corner of her eye, "but sometimes I wish you had." She took a deep breath and felt Kara's arm settle across her shoulders. "I had to watch... to hear... everything that Lord had done to you," she said, "and I know it wasn't my fault or yours, but I'll be damned if I let anyone else hurt you."

Alex's eyes had hardened as she'd spoken, but when she turned to Kara, her whole expression shifted to one of soft affection. The blonde's eyes were threatening to water and ruin her mascara. Alex ran a finger along her jawline and smiled.

"I'm sorry for bringing all that up right before your big date," she said. "I know that Cat really cares for you. I just need you to know that no matter what happens, I will always be here for you."

Kara nodded, throat too full of emotion to speak. She blinked fast a few times and then wrapped her sister into a tight hug. They were quiet for several minutes, and when they separated, they both had suspiciously sparkling eyes, but smiles across their faces.

"So," Alex said, clearing her throat and trying to pretend she hadn't just been on the edge of over-emotional, "back on task, did you want me to wait with you, or would you rather have some alone time before Cat gets here?"

"I think I'll be okay alone," Kara replied as she glanced at the clock and saw that there was only half an hour until Cat was set to arrive.

"Then I will get out of your hair - which looks gorgeous, by the way - but I'm just a phone call away."

Alex stood up and waggled her phone in the air before tucking it into her back pocket.

Kara followed her sister to the door and just before opening it, she threw her arms around Alex's shoulders.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Always," Alex murmured in return, placing a kiss on Kara's cheek.

Kara watched her walk down the hallway and gave a little wave as the brunette turned to look at her one more time before turning the corner to the elevator. Once she had disappeared from view, Kara closed the door and moved to the living room. She crossed to the open windows and looked outside, breathing deeply. It was definitely chilly out, but she hated to feel closed in, and temperature really didn't affect her anyway. She sat on the windowsill with her head tilted back against the frame, and closed her eyes, stretching out her senses to take in the whole city, before closing them down a bit at a time until she was focused just on her little corner of the world and the steady beat of her own heart.

She was actually slightly startled when a knock at the door brought her out of her thoughts, and she sprang up, looking over to see that it was six-thirty, and then staring through the door to see Cat on the other side, shifting from one foot to the other. In just a moment, she was turning the handle and letting the other woman inside.

"Cat!" she said, breathlessly, though there was no reason for her to be winded.

She blamed it on the way Cat looked, standing there with the hall light illuminating her hair from behind and making the golden curls into a halo. The shorter woman wore a form-fitting black dress, a wide, dark teal line narrowing from right shoulder to left hip. The line continued down, as if outlining a shapely leg before ending at the asymmetrical hem.

Cat blushed in the face of Kara's evident admiration, and ducked her head, to hide it.

"It's good to see you, Kara," she said, and then looked up, fully seeing the other woman for the first time that evening.

Kara was wearing a pale blue dress, with a sprinkle of lace flowers at one shoulder and then along the edge of the knee-length skirt. It was the kind of dress that looked like it would practically force its wearer to twirl around, and it seemed perfectly suited to Kara's lighter spirit which was finally pushing up through the layers of trauma. Her blonde waves were only partially contained, with sections pulled back from her face and fastened into a bun at the back of her head.

"You look gorgeous."

"You look beautiful."

Each woman spoke at the same time and then smiled.

"I don't mean to rush you," Cat said, as she held out her hand, "but I actually have something planned and it would be better if we aren't late."

Kara gladly took the offered hand and squeezed very gently against the fine-boned fingers.

"I can't wait," she said happily, and Cat led her out of the apartment.

There was a car waiting for them downstairs, because of course Cat wasn't going to drive, and the women slid across the leather seat but parted only to arm's length.

"Do I get to know where we're going?" Kara asked playfully.

"Well, it's more fun if it's a surprise," Cat answered, and then rushed on, "unless that makes you uncomfortable? Of course I will tell you if you prefer."

Kara gave a shy little smile at Cat's nervous thoughtfulness.

"I don't mind a surprise if it's with you."

Cat thought about the two hours that afternoon when she'd been completely - if calmly - stressed out and Carter had convinced her that Kara would love where ever she took her for dinner.She relaxed and the two women spent more of the drive looking at each other than at the passing views. Before very long, the car slowed down and turned into a narrow road that led into the park. It was more of a service road, really, and Kara perked up as they passed through an arched metal gateway.

"I was just in the park with Alex this morning," she said. "Well, other side of the park. The market. I can't believe it won't be open again until April. I just found the best sticky buns ever," she continued, only slightly morose.

Cat smiled, thinking of Kara eating a dozen pastries, and made a mental notation to find out whether or not the baker had a more permenant location somewhere else in the city.

"You know," Cat said slowly, "the first time we came to the park together - with Carter, remember? He insisted?" she waited for Kara to nod. "I was worried that it would bring back too many memories for you. That you wouldn't want to be there, that it would make you scared or upset."

"I love the park," Kara interjected.

"I know," Cat said, squeezing Kara's hand. "Because no matter what has happened to you, you've never let it completely change you. Underneath it all, you've stayed the same kind, sweet, courageous person who arrived on a distant planet, fully prepared to care for her baby cousin."

A tiny huff of a breath escaped from between Kara's lips as her face took on a slightly embarrassed expression. She never did like being praised.

"I wouldn't say that I've never changed," Kara said, thoughtfully. "I've just been lucky to always have people around willing to help me."

"And you always will," Cat assured her, just as the car pulled to a stop beside a large, ornate greenhouse.

"The Talcott Arboretum?" Kara questioned as the two women exited the car.

It was a beautiful structure, all glass and white painted stone, wood and iron. From the outside, tropical trees and flowers could be seen, almost pressing against the walls and roof. Kara turned towards Cat, questioningly.

"Isn't it closed for the day? It's pretty late."

"Normally, it would be closed," Cat agreed, leading Kara towards the door. "But fortunately I was able to arrange to have it opened up just for us."

She turned the ornate wrought iron knob and pushed open the door, closing her eyes at the wave of warmth and sweet scents that flooded out.

"Oh my goodness," Kara said, in hushed awe. "I haven't been here since..."

She didn't finish her sentence, but they both knew what the ending would be. "Since before LordTech". Cat clutched her hand a bit tighter, and it was a lucky thing that Kara had super strength.

They walked slowly down the center aisle of the greenhouse, looking at the plants that covered pebble-lined tables and stone-covered floors. The humidity was higher than outside, but not at all oppressive, and they picked their way carefully towards the center, where a domed roof rose high above, encasing palms and other tropical trees, some with beautiful flowers that reached towards the fading sunlight.

There was a large circular pool at the center, with water plants in bloom. Koi slipped through the water, the warm light of sunset glinting off their bodies like rare jewels. Beside the pool, a small table was set up, with stark white linens, and two verdigris iron chairs, padded with floral seat cushions. A man, dressed in a dark suit, stood at one side, quietly motioning them to sit.

Cat held onto Kara's hand until she was sitting, and the younger woman just looked about in awe-filled bliss. The colors, the scents, the openness, the streaks of clouds above and the sound of trickling water to the side; it all filled her with a sense of complete peace and joy.

"Your dinner will be right in," the man said, and then disappeared towards the back of the greenhouse.

"You arranged all of this?" Kara said, eyes sparkling, smile radiant.

"You are more than worth the effort of a few phone calls," Cat told her.

"This had to be a lot more than a few phone calls," Kara insisted.

"Connections and money," Cat said simply. "Two things I have in abundance. Two things that are worth nothing to me, beside you," she finished with a self-deprecating shrug.

"Cat..."

"I'm sorry, that's too much, too soon," Cat said quickly.

Kara reached and covered Cat's hand with her own.

"It's not too much," she insisted. "I thought... I thought maybe it would be, but somehow, it's not," she said thoughtfully. "I'm just so happy to be here, with you, and I don't want to lie about that or try to hide it. You make me happy, Cat."

She smiled again, that breathtaking smile, and Cat felt her heart stutter a bit in her chest.

"You make me very happy too, Kara."


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trial means testimony, even from Supergirl, but how will that affect Kara and her loved ones?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh, such a long wait! If anyone is still reading this, I apologize. It should only be three more chapters. The next will be the testimony and conclusion of the trial, then one for the upcoming holidays (Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day) and then one for the anniversary of Kara's escape and a conclusion to this very long and drawn-out story! 
> 
> I can only hope that a few people are still finding this worthwhile.

Chapter Thirty-One

"Excuse me, what did you just say?" Cat asked, though the question was rhetorical, because she'd heard exactly what Alex had said.

It had been two weeks since Cat and Kara's first date at the arboretum, and more dinners and lunches and lazy weekend afternoons had taken place between them. Their relationship was moving forward slowly, carefully, with Cat fully aware of all Kara had been through and unwilling to push her even the slightest. Sweet kisses and long hours cuddling were as far as they had gone, physically, but both women were happy and content, something that neither of them had ever expected to feel again.

So now, the two of them were out for a pleasant Sunday brunch with Kara's sister Alex and her girlfriend, attempting to stretch their relationship to encompass other people. It had been going very well until the conversation had slipped sideways into discussion about the Lord and Luthor trial. It was a subject that had always been an unstated no-fly zone.

"I said that I will be flying to DC next week to testify, and Lucy Lane told me that they are interested in getting Supergirl to testify as well."

"That's what I thought you said, but then I assumed I was wrong, because they couldn't possibly be so stupid and you wouldn't ever suggest such a thing." Cat was ready to go to full-fledged tirade mode.

"Cat, it's okay," Kara interjected gently.

"It is most definitely not okay, Kara."

Kara shrugged. "I'm only surprised that they didn't ask a long time ago."

Alex cleared her throat before saying, "Yeah, well, about that. Lucy may have contacted me months ago about asking you to testify, but I kept putting her off and saying you weren't ready."

Kara looked like she was going to start a speech about being able to handle herself, but Alex beat her to the punch.

"I know, I know, I should have just told you. I can't help that I'm an overprotective big sister."

"Well," said Maggie, getting back on topic, "now that you do know, what are you going to do about it."

"I- I don't know," Kara replied, twirling her fork and gathering up a mound of pasta carbonara.

Cat's knuckles were practically white as she clenched her fists in her lap and tried her best to rein in her own angry opinion on the matter.

"It's totally up to you, Kara. You would be testifying as Supergirl, but the defense is forbidden from trying to ascertain your everyday identity. They are limited to questions about your time while at LordTech and your recovery, with no specifics given."

"And Maxwell Lord will be there?"

"Yes," Alex admitted reluctantly, but Lucy is trying to find a way to have you testify while he watches from another room. He won't be able to get near you, Kara, and Kal-El will be there as well, testifying against Luthor."

Cat couldn't push down the words any longer, and they came spilling from her mouth an a rush.

"And there is nothing about this situation that gives you pause? That makes you think it might not be the best thing for Kara's recovery?"

"Don't sit there and lecture me about thinking about Kara," Alex replied, her temper rising. "She is my sister. I would do anything to protect her - and I have."

"Okay, okay, let's agree that both of you care about and want the best for Kara," Maggie interjected before the two strong-willed women could dredge up any more ire.

"I think I want to do it," Kara said, when Cat and Alex stopped staring daggers at one another.

"Are you sure?" they both said, then looked at each other and tilted their heads as a signal of truce.

"I'm not sure," Kara replied, "but the thought doesn't scare me as much as I thought it would. I want to help make sure he's put away for the rest of his life."

"Well that's a big reason why Lucy is asking," Alex explained. "Technically, the crimes Lord and Luthor committed aren't viewed as serious because they were committed against aliens. President Marsden is pushing for legislation to have all aliens recognized as having the same rights as humans, but it's not something that can be applied retroactively. I'm basically the only human that was harmed," she continued, giving a small, self-deprecating shrug, "and most of the aliens were former Fort Rozz prisoners, so they don't draw as much sympathy. Having Superman and Supergirl testify will definitely influence public opinion."

Silence fell over the small group as they all thought about the dozens of aliens, injured, tortured and killed, only to be viewed as little more than animals in the eyes of the law. Even if some of those aliens had committed atrocities on Krypton, they hadn't deserved the types of cruel punishment meted out by Luthor and Lord under the auspices of voluntary entertainment.

"When would you need to go?" Cat asked quietly.

"Not for another month at least. They just need our commitment so that they can update the witness list and make the defense aware of their plans. Right now they're still going through the money side of things, and Luthor's been throwing up delays right and left, prolonging the whole thing."

Cat nodded, and Kara looked over at her, a question in her eyes.

"It's up to you, Kara," she said gently. "I'm not going to make the decision for you. You're strong. Stronger than anyone has any right to expect, and definitely strong enough to stand up against a bastard like Maxwell Lord."

Kara's mouth pressed into a thin line and she huffed out a breath through her nose before pulling her shoulders back and announcing, "I'm going."

No more was said about it that evening, or the next day or even the next week. Things fell back into a comfortable routine for Kara, punctuated by sweet time shared with Cat and sometimes Carter. Sister Nights were also a regular fixture of each week, and as the days slipped by, Kara found herself growing more and more comfortable in her skin and in the world. She joined her sister and Maggie at the alien bar some evenings, and didn't mind being jostled at the science museum with Carter.

She almost could have been thought to have forgotten about her upcoming role in the trial. She studiously avoided any news coverage of it, and Cat never spoke of it. It was never mentioned until Kara called Cat from work and told her that she and Alex were flying to D.C. in two days time.

Cat met her at her studio apartment that night. She was leaning against the wall beside the door, waiting for Kara to arrive home from her last class. While she waited, she tapped away at her phone and only looked up when she heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Her eyes caught Kara's as soon as the younger woman turned the corner.

Kara hurried to her door with a, "Cat, what are you doing here?"

"I thought you might like the company," Cat said, "and I needed to find out what airline you're flying out on so that I can get tickets."

The door had been unlocked and the two women had crossed the threshold, with Kara leaning against the door as she closed it.

"You're coming with me?"

"Of course I'm coming with you," she answered. "I know you'll have Alex, and probably Maggie as well, but you can never have too many friendly faces. Besides, if Clark is going to testify, that means Lois will be there and you know I never miss out on a chance to bicker with her."

Kara laughed, only slightly tearful, and replied, "You two may think you're fooling everyone but you're not. I know you're really friends."

"Pffft," Cat reached for Kara's hand and led her to the sofa, where they sat, legs touching, bodies angled towards one another.

Cat took a breath before saying, "I know that I probably should have called before just coming over. I did call Alex and made sure she didn't have the same idea. She was pulled in to the DEO for some last minute lab work before she leaves, and Maggie was with her."

"No, I'm glad you came," Kara told her. "I know that I would be okay alone, but having you with me is always better. It's nice to know that I don't have to be alone."

"No, you absolutely do not," Cat said, patting her knee as if to accent her words. "But," she went on, slower, "We haven't actually crossed this particular "staying over" line before - well, since we started dating. I'm not here to rush you. I'm perfectly fine sleeping out here on the sofa. I slept on worse in Afghanistan."

"And if I wanted to have you in my bed to hold me?" Kara asked tentatively.

"Then I would be there with open arms."

Which was why, when sunlight found them in the morning, they were comfortably entangled in the sheets and each other, with Kara's tousled head resting just above Cat's heart.

The flight to D.C. the next morning, what completely uneventful, other than Cat loudly complaining about the lack of first-class accommodations. Kara and the others hadn't thought of booking on an airline that had them. Alex privately thought that Cat's complaints were largely an attempt to distract Kara, who was uncomfortable with flying at the best of times, and already a ball of nerves thinking about her testimony.

It had been arranged such that Supergirl would be the one testifying, and the defense lawyers had a strict set of guidelines to adhere to with regards to questions that could reveal her alternate identity. Even with those in place, the courtroom would be empty aside from the legal teams, jury, court reporter and courtroom artist. All other spectators would be held in a separate room, watching the proceedings on a closed-curcuit feed with a one minute delay just in case there were any outbursts or improper questions. Alex's testimony would be conducted similarly with the added precaution that her identity was to be kept confidential.

Despite all that, Kara was still nervous and unsettled, even though she tried to hide it. She was finally enjoying her life, and she didn't want the shadow of her time as an Alpha to come back and ruin everything. It was a tenuous balance between wanting to prove that she had moved past what Lord had done to her, and fearing that just the sight of him would send her back into a dark corner of her mind.

When the plane touched down, it was almost noon and Alex was scheduled to testify at around two, depending upon how long Clark was on the stand. Cat had caught snippets of his testimony while in the air, via live tweets from other CatCo reporters. She hadn't shared any of them with Kara. She knew that the woman didn't want to hear any more details from him; it was too hard to listen and not feel like she had failed her parents by failing to raise him and keep him safe, regardless of how impossible the Phantom Zone had made that mission. Cat always kept to herself that she felt nothing but anger towards Kara's parents for even putting that burden on her in the first place.

Kara wouldn't be called to the stand, as Supergirl, until the following day, and then they would have the weekend in D.C. if cross-examination wasn't completed. The two couples, Alex with her hand tightly gripped in Maggie's, and Kara, her eyes constantly checking in with Cat, made their way to the airport entrance and out to the taxi stand.

"We'll see you at the hotel this evening for dinner?" Cat questioned Alex while Maggie arranged for a cab to the courthouse.

"Yes," she replied. "I'll text when I'm out of there."

Kara was watching her with wide eyes, fingers tightly clutching at her rolling carry-on and her handbag. Alex stepped forward and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Don't watch the trial coverage, okay?" she said quietly. "Please?"

A short nod was Kara's reply, her chin bumping against Alex's shoulder.

"Love you," she said, and Alex squeezed tighter before rocking back a step and sending a look towards Cat.

"Take care of her," she demanded.

"We'll take care of each other," Cat assured her, and then Maggie was waving the DEO agent over and helping her into the trademark yellow car.

"Ready to head to the hotel?" Cat asked Kara, reaching out for her hand.

"Could we walk around after we check in?" she asked. "I don't want to just sit in a room thinking."

"Of course," Cat agreed, "I had thought we might visit the outdoor monuments around the reflecting pool since the weather has decided to improve."

Kara spent the drive to the hotel asking Cat all about her last trip to D.C., and sharing that she had visited once before, while a student at Midvale High. The senior class had organized a trip and she had been able to go, even though her adoptive mother had been wary of letting her travel so far alone.

"But surely she knew you wouldn't be in any danger," Cat said, trying to keep her words vague in case their driver was listening.

"I think she was more worried that I would try to do something that a high schooler shouldn't get involved with," Kara replied. "She was always very overprotective, especially after Jeremiah was killed."

"It sounds as if she was a good mother for you," Cat told her. "Someday I would like to meet her."

"Really?" Kara was surprised by Cat's statement. She'd always assumed that the older woman would want to stay far away from anything that would make their relationship seem deeper or more committed, and meeting the parents definitely fit into that scenario. Cat hadn't really given her any reason to think that she feared a long-term relationship with her, but two divorces and then Kara's opinion of herself as a somewhat damaged individual had somewhere along the line made that assumption come together in her mind.

"She helped raise you. Naturally I'd like to meet her and thank her."

Kara continued to look stunned, but said nothing, and Cat covered her hand where it rested on the seat between them.

"Perhaps I don't express myself in person as well as I do on the written page," she said, "but there is nothing about this relationship that I take lightly, and meeting the people who are important to you... Well, that's important to me."

The way Kara ducked her head to avoid eye-contact was the surest sign that she was feeling slightly overwhelmed by emotion. Cat curled her fingers around the younger woman's, but said nothing more, and simply turned to look out the window as the car took them to The Jefferson hotel on 16th Street, just five blocks directly behind the White House.

True to her word, Cat took Kara on a tour of the city, walking, which was something she always tried to avoid, but had become fond of lately. Kara never complained, but it was obvious that she preferred to walk everywhere in National City, and felt claustrophobic when traveling by car.

Kara had watched with some surprise as Cat had pulled sturdy, comfortable walking shoes out of her suitcase after changing into a pair of black jeans, a white blouse and a black leather jacket. It was mid-December, but the temperature in D.C. remained well above freezing, and walking kept the two women warm. They took a taxi to the Washington Memorial and walked on from there. The tourists were sparse, as school was in session and the glorious colors of spring and fall were long past. They meandered down the path lined in cherry trees that would burst into bloom in another handful of months, and then rested at the Jefferson Memorial.

"Always my favorite president," Cat commented as they strolled around the rotunda. "A writer, so I suppose that's not a shock."

"No," Kara replied, "he had a gift for words, like you."

Cat let out a bright laugh, commenting, "I don't think I'd place myself in his echelon, but thank you for the ego boost, dear."

A few minutes longer and then they continued on along the edge of the water, curving around until the reached the Lincoln Monument. They didn't say much there, just walked quietly through the marble space, staring up at the words carved into the wall and the massive statue looking out over the Reflecting Pool. There was a vendor a short distance away selling food, and they bought snacks and sat on a bench near the shallow pool, quietly looking at the barely-rippling image of the sky and the pristine white obelisk in the distance.

Cat opted against going to the top of the Washington Monument when they came around to it again, but Kara wanted to see the city from above, and flying was currently out of the question. She was on her way down, some time later, when her phone buzzed with a text from Alex. It was five o'clock and surprisingly, she was finished with her testimony and wouldn't be recalled to the stand in the morning.  
"I should be happy that it's going so quickly," she told Cat when she met her on a bench nearby the monument.

"But the end of her testimony means the beginning of yours," the other woman supplied.

"Yes," Kara sighed and clasped her hands together.

"I know I can't go in there with you, Kara," Cat told her as she carefully integrated her own hand into the clutching fingers in Kara's lap, "but I'll be watching everything, and I know you'll be able to hear my heartbeat, even through the walls." She waited until Kara nodded. "Let that be your touchstone then," she continued, "and if you ever start feeling scared or upset, then let my anger on your behalf strengthen you. Because you have nothing to be afraid or ashamed of anymore... that is all on Lord and Luthor now."

Kara let Cat separate her hands and lace their fingers together while she watched, the slender digits looking so small and delicate in a grasp that could easily crush them. Yet Cat trusted and cared for her - loved her even? It would be enough to carry her through the next days.


End file.
